Ok I’ve Got A Hypothetical For Tumblr. My Girlfriend Thinks They Would Only Need Two Nails To Crucifiy

*The Intertionale Plays*

Reading about Habsburg emperors makes me laugh like nothing else

This is Ferdinand I The Benevolent. I am dying

Howdy

usb drives you find lying on the ground are modern day cursed amulets

[2lovebirds]

I love these. Also whoops on the name, I'm always bad with those.

Systins my beloved. Is it like a monkey's paw sorta deal or?

Imagine eating fibs like a Roman Emperor and going crazy from led poisoning.

The Skyrazers be giving me ultrakill vibes, like you would run around one in a level or something like that lol.

What sorta weird creatures exist in Dust to Dawn? Speeding up evolution is bound to produce something funny.

Renamed that to 'New Millennium'

Some funky critters n such ive conceptualized recently:

-Systins, mythological(?) creatures said to inhabit ancient technology and the Datasphere; they are said to grant unimaginable wishes, but only according to a set of varying nonsense rules (not spec bio realy but i wanted to mention it :3) -Fibs, a sort of asexually reproducing fig which is very sweet, because of the lead-based toxins it sequesters into its fruits (thus 'fib' bc the sweet is a lie)

-Skyrazers, living towers which walk across Medimaria (formerly 'North America'), on legs of rubble animated by synthetic muscle built by nanotechnology and micro-scale robotic self-repair units. The original walking tower was a type of experimental arcology which in the Doom sought resources to sustain its precious cargo, and so uprooted itself in search of water. It has since mitosis'd into several daughters

“Appeasing them would only make it worse.” I crush the blessing doll. Its stitched smile bloats up. “It has only ever made things worse. My mother and grandmother have been appeasing my father and grandfather for a lifetime. They haven’t changed one bit. You cannot appease someone into loving or respecting you.”

Iron Widow (Iron Widow #1) by Xiran Jay Zhao

OK SO PEARL’S NAME

ok so you probably know that pearl’s outfit in octo expansion is based on the notorious b.i.g. aka biggie smalls

what you probably dont know is that pearl’s full name in japanese is “houzuki hime”. houzuki comes from “daio houzuki ika”, which is the colossal squid. hime comes from “hime ika”, the northern pygmy squid. 

basically what im saying here is. pearl’s japanese name is “colossal pygmy” which is literally the squid version of “biggie smalls”