Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.
And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?
and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces
and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.
so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.
It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"
The video is immediately viral.
(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)
Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)
Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.
Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)
Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.
(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)
XD this makes me laugh every time
leave your laundry on the floor for them
Jason: Hi!
Danny: Good evening
Jason: Oh um, yes, good evening. Do you eat to survive?
Danny: What?
Jason: Ha ha ha! I'm joking! Of course you eat, um I eat too! But why?
Danny: I don't-what are you asking me?
Jason: Gotham is beautiful at night! It's when I eat!
Danny: Are you a-
Dick appearing out of nowhere: Hey there, Jay. You wandered off while I was getting us water. Sorry about him. He's very drunk. I'll take him home to sleep it off.
Danny: *Grabbing Jason's writ* Do you know him?
Jason: Yes, he's my brother. See, that's my family. *Shows lock screen of family* I have many siblings, which means I would be totally fine with lots of kids!
Danny: *Let's go* Oh good. Sorry if he's really that drunk I didn't want him going home with a stranger. No offense
Dick: None taken. I appreciate men like you who keep everyone safe. Come along Jay, let's get you home.
Jason: But-
Dick: You asked me to step in when you were going out of control. Remember?
Jason: Right yes. Ugh Bye.
Danny: Goodbye.
Dick outside of bar: That was terrible. You really do suck at flirting.
Jason: I just froze up! Ugh I hope he doesn't think I'm a idiot.
Danny watching them through the window: That's a vampire pretending to be human. I can smell the undead on him and he was going to lure me to a dark alley if his human servant hadn't stepped in.
Jazz: I was gone for like five minutes Danny, how did you find a creature of the night within that time?
Danny: It's a gift. Thankfully, I'm too smart to be tricked by a vampire.
Jazz: ......you would have followed him into the alley wouldn't you?
Danny: He may be a blood sucker but did you see his muscles? What a way to die.
A comic based on this poem
A masterpost to organize everything! mostly art and comics!
HERE is a post explaining the forgettable au
HERE is the frequently asked questions!
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CHAPTERS
Prologue
Prologue
Chapter I
Message From The Past
Chapter II
The Scientific Method
Chapter III
The Star
Chapter IV
Metamorphosis
Chapter V
The Past
Chapter VI
Endless
Chapter VII
An Ending And Continue
MINI-COMICS
(Some of these, especially the old ones that were posted before the comic, aren't canon to the comic)
--answered asks--
17 , 16 , 15 , 14 , 13 , 12 , 11 , 10 , 9 , 8 , 7 , 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 ,( 1 old)
--extras--
5 , 4 , 3 ,( 2 , 1 OLD)
ART/CONCEPT ART
13, 12 , 11 , 10 , 9 , 8 , 7 , 6 , 5 , 4 ,( 3 , 2 , 1 VERY OLD)
ASKS (I'm re-organizing this rn)
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If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
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