A letter to a friend I loved...i love. I miss.
I miss u
I miss the talks we had, the loud laughter, the random references
I miss the silence between our talks
I miss how your voice changes while eating something. I miss your way of saying "mhhhm" when you're enjoying your delicious chocolate.
I miss you
I miss you as the person you are
I miss the person I am around you
I miss the person I used to be with you
I miss the friendship we had, because it's a matter of fact, that eventhough we said we would try it one last time, we both agreed to give up of what we had left, without knowing it. I miss the old days.
I miss to listen to your problems, eventhough they were a bit silly sometimes and I did not knew what to say, but they were important to you, so they were important to me, because you were important to me.
I miss the way I've never missed our friendship. I miss the way I've though about you. I miss the excitement I had, by thinking about calling you. I miss the enjoyment I had by talking to you, like to no one else. I miss the way I made you laught and I miss the way you've mad me laught so many times.
I miss the plans we made for our future,eventhough we knew they would never come true, but dreams will be dreams and we lived them in our head.
I miss not missing you.
I miss complaining and overthinking our friendship. I miss fearing of losing you, because that ment I haven't lost this yet. Cuz now it is not you I am writing, but my notebook.
I miss not thinking if i should write you, but just do. I miss our games and inside jokes. I miss Oleg . I miss Oleg a lot. I miss knowing what is going on in your life and I miss letting you know what is going on inside mine. I miss getting mad about you, for no real reason and I miss starting smiling out of nowhere, just because I thought about a funny thing you've said once.
I miss the way you saw me. I miss our conversations and how light and easy they could be. I miss, I hate not being able to write you because...that what we had is in the past and we both seem to have moved on...but still...sometimes you are the only person I want to talk to. I miss the way "sometimes " did not exist. I really miss not missing you.
I miss how you laughted about my really bad jokes. Damn they where bad. I miss falling asleep whit knowing you would still be there. I miss this friendship so badly I can't. It's true, you value things way more, when they are gone.
I hate this so much. I hate that we are kinda in touch, but don't talk at all and if we do, we don't come over some Texts and then everything is dead.
I don't know if we will ever be real friends again. I don't know how you may feel and I really want to know.
I don't know if there will ever be another person with whom I may experience a similar friendship. Well there is somebody I really love but it's not the same we had. And that's what I miss .... the friendship we left behind.
I hate trying to having to distract myself of not thinking about you, especially when it gets late and I don't know what to do. I am haunted by the ghost of you, of my old me, of the person we were and pretended to be.
I miss
we were, we are we used to be two strangers, two souls wandering through a world of small towns and drunken nights same days and a questioning mind of when there will be a time of passionate lovers, red roses and thirsty kisses and here we are now 9 months later two lovers, two dreamer wandering through the same world fed up from kisses, and drunk of desire we found what we wanted yet loneliness: even lovers can't fill all the empty spaces they carry within themselves
At least the pain shows
you were real
we were real
this was real
And you are still
the only person
who can keep me together
when I am about to fall apart.
the past; a secure space I hold in my mind easiness laid on our skin now it is dust we got old in just a couple of months I miss these new felt days where kisses lasted for hours a new touch opened a new thirst our smile reflected in each other eyes we used to find passion in an old bed and dirty sheets Yet today; the present promises pain, we found insanity in the soulmates we tried to be
It is another kind of heartbreak to realize that I still haven’t found the soul I am searching for in the person, I hoped so much would reflect my perception of perfection after spending so much time searching in empty faces and beliving that this one has a heart that would mirror my own Just to see they are just another empty face in the crowd of lost lovers I got lost in as well Only this time I painted their face so it is easier to pretend and hold onto something that isn’t even there It is so tiring to search without finding or find without keeping because even if they leave it wouldn’t be their missing that would hurt but knowing that nothing has changed I am still on my journey through empty faces until finding the other wanderer who searches for a face in so much emptiness as well
today I love you
tomorrow I hate you
next week we are forgotten
today you love me
tomorrow you miss me
next week we are forgotten
“I love you" seemed so scary to say you took the fear gifted me the words I've never heard leaving someone mouth Yet by touching your lips, I knew it wasn't a lie you told me it was your heart you offered
melted chocolate in your eyes, a steady fire reflecting your soul, your blushing lips, a bed of a beard, your waterfall hair tangling mine, a velvet smile, an alluring glimpse, my heartbeat in sync with your breath, fast spoken words, soft and sweet, you are mine and I am yours
I love how your eyes shine in the dawn and the inner child you never hide I love the way your fingers play with mine how you kiss my feet, how you bite my toe I love how your lashes frame your eyes and how your sun-kissed face has a golden shine I love how your voice carries a scent of stars how you and I feel like venus and mars I love how I hate to feel your breath at night and how I yet hide in your arms from all the dreams I fight
the inner child you made me save so yours and mine can always play and whoever you shall be in the next year or the ones coming I will always love you with all the strength my heart can offer you leo beauty, my water eyes, I am yours and you are mine
about thoughts, time, losing and finding, feeling and living, falling and healing and of course bittersweet love♡
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