Excuse Me King, Seems Like You Dropped This

I don’t have a lot of ambitions in life but one thing on my bucket list is to marry a cactus

like

I have no intention of getting for real married to anyone, and I really love the desert, so for the last couple years I’ve just been obsessed by the idea of going out into the Arizona desert and doing wedding photos with a saguaro

I’ve done my research on cactus law and cactus safety. I do not intend to touch the cactus. I merely wish to stand by the cactus or photoshop myself near the cactus in a way that heavily implies the cactus to be my spiky green gay husband, so I can hang it in a discreet area of my home and stare at wistfully whenever a guest or family member or whatever talks about settling down. Something I can keep in my wallet at work that I can whip out when people ask about the ring on my finger

Again, I have done the planning. There is a wedding dress in my closet. I have a Pinterest board for this. I have spoken with a potential photographer. I just need to get to Arizona

I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

this made me cry, so i have to share it. i can’t tell you how much of this feels like it was about my childhood.

“Some nights, always alone, I go out in stolen makeup and women’s clothes with an ID I found in a lost wallet. I never feel more male than on these nights”

not to imply anything, but ive known lots of animals who explicitly hate adult men, but ive never known an animal to explicitly hate non-men, and don't people like to say that animals are the best judges of character?

everyone more pretentious than me is an insufferable poseur and everyone less pretentious than me is a clueless philistine

Attempting to get my students to fucking come to class

In the 22nd century, the word homeschooling was replaced with homosexualing. My mom ordered a teacher for me from an organ market and she told me, “Tomorrow you’ll be homosexualed,” and I was homosexualed for three years but Sauron only taught me Tic-Tac-Toe tricks.

i can’t be clocked in at the clown factory right now i have to be clocked in at the microsoft word factory i have a five page paper that i haven’t started due in two hours

if i were simply a ball of moss with no thoughts or feelings that would be great thanks

evangelicals being like "god made men to do This and be like This and women to do That and be like That that's just how it is" and it's just a picture of a white man and woman following traditional gender norms makes me so insane like you boring fascist fucks. god made 2 million species of beetles. god made whales, ducks, humans, and 1500 other species capable of same sex behavior. god made fish and amphibians that change sexes. god made more than 30 different intersex variations in human beings. god, in his infinite curiosity. wake up!!! fuck!!