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Secret Son John Constantine

Inspired by @herbatahleb's funny little fanart

As the title says The Everlasting Trio have a child and his name is John “Hellblazer” Constantine

He’s making his parents proud

John was born of a kind of soul blood pact between the three, he got his blonde hair from Sam, his eyes from Tucker, and his overall appearance is a mix of the three of them

John grew up to follow in Tucker & Sam’s footsteps of magic, he’s a born sorcerer unlike them though

His relationship with his parents is generally good, but because of how he treats his soul his relationship with Danny has deteriorated

They argue about this alot, John’s soul is his own and what he does with it really isn’t any of Danny’s business, Danny has the concerned parent vibes of the parent of a sex worker, their fears are founded but they need to trust their kid to know how to take care of themselves

John hates visiting home because of it, Dani will sometimes drag him back home for holidays but he doesn’t stay long

Sam & Tucker try to get them to get along but it isn’t really working

Then one day Danny gets accidentally summoned by the Justice League

---

John doesn’t recognize the summoning circle as it buzzes to life, he doesn’t know what type of creature or being will pop out. If they’re good or bad, or even merciful but he knows they’re strong from the intricate design or the circle. So he recklessly jumps forward, pushing Hal out of the binding circle so the Lantern isn’t bound to the summoned being.

John takes the binding with a scream of pain, feeling electricity shoot up his spine.

He can hear the Leaguers shouting his name, he’s vaguely aware of Jordan supporting him. But what he hears clearest was the voice of a man he most despised in the world at the moment.

“Really John? You didn’t have to do that, he would have been fine.”

John closes his eyes tight and breaths deep, he looks up to the voice and looks into the toxic green eyes as they met his own brown ones.

“Good to see you too Father.”

The green eyed being rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, “Yes, hello Son. It’s great to see you again as well.”

The League had only heard a few things about John Constantine’s family. They knew he had three parents who’re polyamouros, that he has an older sister and an aunt. Besides that all they have are silent grumblings about “Father won’t like this” when he does something risky.

But to see a young filipino man probably no older than twenty, floating over John “Hellblazer” Constantine and looking down on him like a disappointed parent. It was jarring.

Wonder Woman was the first to say anything “John, could you perhaps explain what just happened?”

John and his father broke their intense eye contact to look at Diana, who barely flinched at the sudden attention, the others behind her weren’t so fearless.

Constantine sighed carefully stepping away from Hal, “This is my Father.”

Hal snorted, “Yeah we got that man.”

“Yes John, introduce me to your friends here.”

---

Danny is generally snarky when meeting the League, he makes some weird comments about John hanging out with superheroes, that could be construed as rude

The others are kinda pestering John about who his dad even is, while John is more focused on getting the fucking bind removed

He eventually has to ask Zatanna for help

Danny for the most part is hanging out with the League while John’s working

Someone calls him Mr.Constantine and Danny quickly corrects them saying that isn’t his last name

Which sparks a whole conversation of John’s last name, which Danny isn’t about to say cause real names have power and such

Danny sees John working closely with Zatanna and asks if he’s with her or not, John is beyond embarrassed and even worse is when Danny brings up King Shark, mentioning that Dani really liked him too

John snarks back that then King Shark should have just gone for her instead of him since Danny was so adamant about King Shark being such a great son-in-law

Things get awkward quick as the two snark back at each other while everyone else realizes where John gets it from

It almost becomes a screaming match before the League has to break it up before they go to far

John ends up just calling Sam & Tucker so they can just break the binding

It’s a tense few minutes before they get there, and the League just kinda has to sit there as father & son fume not looking at each other

When Tucker & Sam get there they see the two not wanting to talk to each other at all

Leaguers are not reeling at seeing John’s other parents who he also vaguely looks like but also not

As the two work on the binding John & Danny are being passive aggressive

The two decide that John & Danny need to spend some time together to get this shit figured out

---

Sam : Alright that’s it *Sam & Tucker stop working, Sam has her head in her hands and Tucker is leaning far back* Danny : What? John : I’m sorry? Tucker : You two have been fighting for far to long, you’ve probably forgotten why Danny : I know exactly why, it’s because John doesn’t know how to treat his soul right! John : By The Ancients! You’re still on about that Danny : Of course! Sam : Will you both just SHUT UP! *Silence* Sam : We’re not breaking the binding, you two are going to stay stuck together Danny : Sammy! John : Mama, Papa. Please don’t do this! Tucker : Nuh-uh, this happening, you two are getting a some father-son bonding time for the week! John *distressed*: Why! You can’t just– it’s not fair! *Sam & Tucker loosen up a bit, looking to John softly* Sam : Baby it’s alright, we’re not trying to punish you we just want you & your father to actually talk things through Danny : It feels like your punishing me Tucker : You are his father, you will be the civil one in this so don’t you fucking dare get any lip *Danny goes silent* Sam *sigh* : We’ll be leaving now Tucker : Good look you two The two leave, then silence Danny : Do you still have that demon house of yours? John *sigh* : Yeah I’ll show you a room for your stay

---

Most of the story is really just about John & Danny learning to get along again

Danny has to finally trust his kid to know what he’s doing with his own body

And John realising that his dad just wants to keep him safe & stuff

By the end of their basically grounding the two have begun to mend their relationship, Danny promises to come over and visit along with inviting John back home to the zone when he feels like

I've been meaning to post this for awhile now & it's just been sitting in my drafts until I finally remembered it.

Hope you liked is! :]

Main Story Index [It's kinda messy but it's got links to most everything]

i'd pay real money for an au where jaster mereel gets resurrected just before the clone wars start and jango has to explain himself to his dad

This is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen so far

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

Pin for survivors

the Hannibal fandom used to be funny, but now you're all just sad and horny

(to be clear i mean this in the most non-judgemental way possible i am in 50% of the same boat (sad))

proof:

god tier pun

featuring @willgrahamscock and some lovely expressions

is this not canon?

CACKLING-

harold, they're lesbians

Ok so random thought but I need a Criminal Minds X What We Do In The Shadows fan fic. I just need the team investigating all the freaking Larpers Guillermo keeps feeding to the vampires. And just like I imagine it’s season three before Nandors wedding or just some time when Guillermo hasn’t slept in a week and their just getting investigated by the freaking FBI.

Joey, to Skeletron: I'm gonna defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found!

Time travel au where all the Jedi wake up in Attack of the Clones after dying. The ones that died sooner just walk it off like it’s a weird dream. Everyone who died in order 66 is confused but maybe it’s a vision? Most of the inquisitors either panic or run to the nearest mind healer and burst into tears or trauma dump. Caleb Dume/Kanan is absolutely convinced he’s dead and this is the after life and no one can convince him otherwise. Obi-wan Kenobi sees smol Anakin and goes ‘shit just keeps happening huh’.

Ashoka Tano is disturbingly wise and knowledgeable for a youngling. Cal Kestis jumps up from class, yells “not today satan” stabs his crechemaster and jumps out the window (he thinks he got caught by the empire and drugged or something), he steals a ship and makes it all the way to Bogano and picks up BD-1 before Cordova find him getting his ass beat by local wildlife and drags him back to Coruscant. Cere is doing her best to comfort Jaro Tapal but he’s not reassured that Cal jumps out of windows all the time.

Plo Koon and Shaak Ti are scheming to get their sons back. Anakin is busy having a breakdown. Grogu just keeps asking for his Buir. Yoda, always ready for drama, let’s Caleb tell him all about his life and his family, asks what his padawan would want him to do. Caleb thinks about this for a minute and nods to himself. He builds a pipe bomb and duct tapes it to the bottom of Palpatines chair. And steals all the credits stashed in his desk.

pav saying "this is where the british stole all of our stuff" is something that has come out of my mouth before and for that i love him