Reblog This If It’s Okay For Your Mutuals To Call You A

The brothers and the Human Realm

a/n: so ik ‘jealous much’ won the poll but it’s still not done yet so have this instead!

context: a part of me still finds lessons 40-43 funny because the brothers have never really been to the human world that much, and they don’t really know how certain things work. Take the slow cooker and ice cream truck for example. So these are little headcanons I have for when all of y’all are together in the beginning of their stay in the human realm.

enjoy <3 , also these are in no specific order

you all are hopeless…

Solomon and MC would so fuck with the brothers while being in the human realm.

For example they’d take Lucifer to the shadiest mexican restaurant possible then after they finished eating they would tell the waiters it was Lucifer’s birthday and watch the Avatar of Pride sit there with a big ass sombrero on his head as they sang happy birthday to him.

MC later took a picture and sent it to Diavolo who then made it his lock screen.

Satan and Belphie tried to electrocute Lucifer by throwing a toaster in the bathroom while he was in the middle of a shower. This happened after the fact you told them not to put water on the toaster because it could electrocute someone. 

Beel ate an entire bottle of ibuprofen liquid gels because he thought they were hard gummies.

Beel also ate the food and cake shaped wax candle melts you had bought for Asmo as a gift

Beel lastly ate your whole brand new container of melatonin and it knocked him out for 15 hours straight. Needless to say Lucifer was very concerned for his wellbeing, and Belphie soon questioned if you had anymore.

Belphie and his brothers were never taught stranger danger, because who in their right mind would be a danger to them in the Devildom?

So after you had explained to him what an ice cream truck was he vowed to go to one with you.

However when a creepy old man in a white van offers him candy he believes it to be the same as the ice cream truck so he gets in the van.

When the brothers relay this information to you, you begin to lose your shit explaining how that was not in fact an ice cream truck he got into but instead a kidnapper van.

The brothers don’t know how to eat certain human world foods.

Such as a banana, watermelon, mango, pineapple, kiwi, avocado, cherry, dragon fruit, papaya, onion, etc.

So when you first buy one from the grocery store and leave it out before cutting it they automatically think it’s some weird shaped human food and bite into it eating the skin or seeds and all.

After they tell you about the weird but delicious taste of it you ask if they cut it or spit out the seeds before eating it, and when they reply with a puzzled look and a no your heart drops.

Thank god they’re demons. You then proceed to buy the same thing again this time cutting it up in front of them so they know what parts to eat of certain things.

Expanding on the cherry part, did y’all’s parents ever tell you not to swallow watermelon or cherry seeds because if you did a cherry tree or whole watermelon would then grow in your stomach??

I know mine and some of my friends parents would tell us that when I was younger to make sure we didn’t swallow any seeds.

If they didn’t then oh well, anyway…

Continuing with Solomon being an ass, he would so tell something like that to the brothers. If he happened to see Beel swallow a cherry whole he would then proceeded to tell Lucifer not to let him do that.

And when the oldest asks why Solomon would then go onto explain that if he swallows cherry pit then a cherry tree will then grow inside his stomach.

Of course this freaked out Lucifer so for the next hour he tried getting Beel to spit out all the cherries he ate.

You would have to organize their fridge and pantry in the new house because they don’t know which human world foods need to be refrigerated or not.

After you arrive at the house you spent a good three hours explaining to them not everything can go in the pantry because some of it will spoil after you open it.

Then you proceed to gag when you pulled out an expired chunky milk container from the pantry.

They find the concept of drive thru or fast food places astonishing. The fact that you can just order wait in a line for a few minutes in your car then get your food is crazy. They do however all panic though when you get to the front and they don’t know what to order off the menu.

Car washes are also something they found themselves favoring. You would turn up the music as you slowly pulled in and joked by telling the brothers you were going on a ride of sorts.

Which in turn shocked you when they did believed you as the car wash stared. Each of them were staring out the windows with starry eyes as different colors of soap were thrown on your car.

You laughed to yourself as they all admired the way the soap blended together, Asmo and Mammon found themselves taking pictures of the whole thing. While Belphie was telling Beel how this looked like a starry sky.

And Levi went on to tell Satan how this reminded him of an anime scene. Lucifer also found himself sitting quietly in the passenger seat enjoying it too. (Lucifer is a certified passenger princess, fight me on that)

Each brother questioned you on how this was possible and you replied with smile. After the car wash was over and you drove through the dryers they all asked if you could do that again, to which you replied smiling “maybe some other time”.

Lucifer watered the fake succulents and plants you put around the house for two weeks straight until you said something.

They love watching true crime documentary’s to the point you’d have to physically pull them away from the tv.

It happened one afternoon while a few of them were relaxing in the living room and you were looking for a channel to watch.

Deciding there was nothing interesting on you put on an old true crime documentary and began watching it. As the brothers heard the story of the crime from the tv they each became immersed in it.

Telling you things such as “how could humans do that to each other?” or “wow humans are more brutal than we thought” or even adding in their own comments on how they could have made the crime worse.

It became a guessing game between all of them to figure out who killed who during each episode you watched.

Much to everyone dismayed Satan was the one who won every time.

Meanwhile while they were all immersed in the tv you noticed Lucifer standing behind you, arms crossed also watching tv. You told him to sit down and watch with all of you but he denied, claiming he wasn’t really interested in stuff like this anyway.

Yet he never moved from that same spot each episode.

Each of the brothers have made something explode in the microwave.

Lucifer stained it red when he went to reheat pasta, but he put it in for to long and it exploded. Mammon overfilled his ramen thus causing it to leak then explode.

Satan and Levi also happened to be reheating takeout at the same time, but both of the containers were styrofoam and exploded. Levi got annoyed and Satan threw the microwave at Lucifer.

Asmo put some skincare product in there because he found something online about a certain hack, and it exploded causing the microwave to smell like burnt strawberries.

Beel put too much food in the microwave causing it to all melt together then explode.

Belphie put a coffee in there to reheat and it exploded, but he was too lazy to clean it up so he just left it. Lucifer was then next to use the microwave and got coffee all over him.

You made all seven of them watch the entire twilight series as a joke but ironically they all actually enjoyed it.

Satan even went out and bought the books, and finished all of them in about 2 hours

Bonus

Solomon distracted Diavolo for 3 hours straight by making him watch 5 minute craft videos.

Diavolo then proceeded to break things to try these said crafts which caused Barbatos to have a meltdown.

Barbatos destroyed an entire sidewalk because he saw two rats run across it into the sewer.

Sandra(MC): The moon is really beautiful tonight.

Damien: It really is.

Matthew: *Whispering* Should we tell them that’a just tortilla you threw at the window?

Sam: No.

hey hey! did you know the obey me subreddit made a demon voucher (and later sheep mc) on r/place?

super cool how our something obey me related is there out of the thousands of pixel artworks on there!

if you don’t know what r/place is, it’s a subreddit that happens on april fools day where everyone has access to this giant pixel canvas! if you want to create something there, it’s best to work together with a group!! shoutout to the peeps who made these!!

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like to charge reblog to cast

Danm this went from 0 to 100 real quick.

seduce me the otome: camping headcanons

♤ one day, the boys and mika decide to go camping ! they go to a national reserve, and arrive in a RV. this trip turns out to be traumic ♡

☆ james

james is only one prepared but still manages to get robbed at gunpoint by a raccoon. he and mika stay in the RV. that is until Matthew is playing with mika's febreeze bottle, and then sam uses his lighter on it and it explodes. they no longer have an RV. james does not like camping. he has fun cooking out in the wilderness until while he is gathering berries, he sees suzu dealing crack. after that he walks to the local Walmart to buy food. he books an air bnb after they find erik's body for the first time and leaves the trip. unfortunately, the Airbnb was an unfortunate rating of 1 star(s). someone broke into his room and immediately began attacking james. james hid his body under the mattress by morning and had lost 2 fingers and his dignity.

◇ erik

unfortunately, erik passes away due to mysterious circumstances. during the first night, he hears a mysterious voice from the woods. he goes to investigate, and is found ass naked the next morning face down in front of a tree. he survives the encounter with the voice and does not remember anything from the night. he discovers a secret drug ring while skinny dipping in the local lake. the mafia pull up on him and he is dragged. he does not inform the group that suzu's mafia has begun sacrificing wild squirrels. he returns to the group ass naked once more after a squirrel stole his clothes. later that morning, his body is found by Matthew who accidentally fell on it. Matthew drags back the body in tears, and the group is horrified. the next morning the body is gone and Matthew suspects Sam used it as a boogie board in the lake or simon tabby took it.

《》 sam

sam immediately becomes completely feral. he loses all domestication and joins a bear pack. the boys lose communication with him on day 2 of the trip. instead of lord of dragons, he is lord of rabies. he now eats raw meat. sometimes he will return to the campsite to terrorize Matthew. Nobody believes Matthew when he says sam kidnapped a toddler and beat him over the head with the child. sometimes he will rob suzu's drug clients and leaves the goods for mika under her pillow. mika knows that it is him and leaves a toothbrush and some Colgate nearby for him, which he gladly takes. he doesn't remember how to use the two toiletries and eventually eats the Colgate and sharpens the tooth brush into a hunting spear. he eventually slaughters simon tabby with the murder device and feeds him to his newly adopted bear cubs. he and suzu begin fighting over territory, and sam wins. he takes over her cocaine empire and begins a reign of terror over the forest.

¤ matthew

matthew was sold to one direction by day 6. unfortunately, he burnt the RV down. he was kidnapped for ransom by suzu, but nobody paid his ransom. after suzu abducted him, and nobody paid for his release, he was sold to one direction. mika had to break into the basement they kept him in and help him escape. nobody noticed he was gone during that time. while in one directions basement he learned the sims language and due to his trauma, he has regressed into a sim. only mika understands him.

▪damien

damien immediately befriends the deer. he and mika go on scenic walks around the nature reserve. he discovers how to make jam out of forest berries. ever since Matthew burned down the RV, damien began sleeping in a tree. He enjoyed fishing and collecting pebbles with Erik before he died. he begins hearing voices after his body was recovered. one day he finds a plastic water bottle and two koolaid packets. BONK. he was hit over the head with a hydro flask after his discovery. he wakes up in a bathtub, alone and dazed. a open wound is where his kidney should be. he returns to the camp site with 16 liters of blood missing. mika finds damien's lost kidney on craigslist and purchases it. James helps him put it back in with super glue and some Gatorade. damien no longer likes camping.

☆☆☆ GUYS DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY and requests are now open ☆☆☆ send me the craziest freakiest shit ever and i will write for you. i dont care just send stuff to me for any fandom. if im not apart of it i will watch one episode or Google it just for you. i do headcanons, fanfic, EVERYTHING. even matchups hunny. Dont be shy spam my inbox 👉🏻👈🏻

*five shiny black lacquered boxes appear on the doorstep of the Anderson mansion. Each one has one of the boys' names engraved on the top. Inside are chocolate replicas of their dicks. Sam's is coated in green candy*

Okay which one of you fucks from the Discord chat last night sent this because if you think I’m gonna make my Boys eat their own dicks cast in chocolate you’re absolutely right down the hatch fuckbois.

My content gets shittier every day.

The elf from Rudolf is Twink representation

Consider this for a moment...

My family (parents and sister) and I came to a very interesting conversation…

According to Anime News Network, “…a single anime episode costs about US$100,000-300,000 per episode, according to various producers we’ve talked to… But multiplied across 13 episodes, that nonetheless turns into a total budget of US$2-4 million.”

I will be transparent and forward and say that I need 10,000 sales (+1,000-2,000 for safety) to pay off ALL of my college debt and loans from my parents. 

Once that is out of the picture, the sales I make from SM2 will go towards me saving up for my house, taking over my individual bills, and building budgets for my next set of games for 2017 (all three of which are needed to start my company)

If SM2 becomes MEGA popular and sells really well, letting me have a good foot towards my future… I TECHNICALLY would need… 13,000-35,000 sales after the above topics are in good shape to make a pilot for a Seduce Me anime episode…

I mean… SM1 has 150,00+ hits… so… I mean…

Seduce Me the Anime could happen…

Maybe…

Possibly.