"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, That Man Has Been Killed. He Has Been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

i envy ppl who can provide deep analysis about their favorite media and/or characters b/c whenever i like something a lot it looks like:

Clothes Practice

the midwest princess 💖🎠 #ChappellRoan

Fun Ways to Meet Characters

Thieves stealing important objects from the main characters and then being forced somehow into a found family situation

Saving a character’s life by doing something like taking an arrow/bullet

By losing a bet with a stranger and then teaming up

Gambling with a shifty character and getting really mad at them, only for them to later end up saving the other character’s life

Meeting the other in an arranged marriage and actually liking them (or really, really hating them)

Or having a chaotic dynamic where they irritate each other but they’re equally chaotic, so they become the mischievous duo in the found family

By bickering over the last piece of food at a banquet

Getting hired as a servant or maid, or some other serving position

By accidentally almost killing a character, only for them to join the found family and literally never stop bringing up that first meeting

British Slang, Phrases and Idioms!

Finally getting this done! Special thanks to my Pa, because without him I wouldn’t know as much slang as I do LOL, we talk about this kind of thing on the regular, and he's my point of reference for this.

Remember, all of these phrases are very informal/casual, and the point of perspective is from England specifically, some of these words could mean something completely different to someone from a surrounding country. Some are moreso used by older people, while others are typical of a brit of any age. I’ll try my best to indicate as such!

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! Whether it's in the replies, a DM or an actual tumblr ask! I may do another list/add to this list if I remember more later on. Of course, others are free to add on to this, offer corrections or clarifications, etc! :)

Warnings: Vulgar language, very very brief NSFW mentions

Anyway, Slang and Phrases under the cut!!

Nouns

Berk: an insult, a stupid person. Might be more common with people who are older.

Bird(s): Woman/Women ("A couple of birds") - Can sometimes come off as a little sleazy, but not always. Depends on the way it's used. I'd say it's kind of mostly used in reference to women you aren't that familiar with? Can also be used to mean someone's girlfriend "That's X's bird," Used by all.

Bloke(s): A man/men. Again, I'd say it's mostly used in reference to a guy you aren't very familiar with, but it's not always the case. Used by all.

Bollocks: Nonesense, an exclamation used when you’re annoyed/disagree with something or someone. Used by all.

"That's a load of bollocks," / That's a load of bullshit

"Bollocks to it," / Fuck it

Typically used out of anger or exasperation, but can be used in a light-hearted and joking way.

Bollocking: A strong reprimand. Used by all.

Chops: Mouth or jaws, ("Hit him right in the chops,")

Lad: A guy, typically indicates youth. Used by all.

Lass: A girl, typically indicates youth. Used by all.

Muppet: Also an insult, meaning incompetent or foolish. Used by all.

Mard Arse: someone who is sulking. Used by all.

Can also become a verb - "Mardying"/ Or an adjective: “Mardy”

Telly: TV. Used by all.

Trolleys/Kecks/Knickers: Underwear. First two are likely used by older people, whereas knickers is more commonly used by all. Knickers also specifically alludes/refers to women's underwear.

Yank: An American (Used by Ghost in the first MW2) Can very much have a derogatory tone to it. Used by all.

Adjectives

Battered: of an object, damaged by age and repeated use. Of a person, injured by repeated blows/hits. Used by all.

Bonny: Pretty/Beautiful

Buzzing: Very excited and happy, probably moreso used by younger people

Chuffed: Extremely happy or proud. Used by all.

Daft: Foolish. Used by all.

Dire: Very poor quality (Can still be used to mean serious or urgent) Used by all.

Dodgy: Unreliable, potentially dangerous, dishonest Used by all.

Fancy: Want/Like. Used by all.

Flatter than a witch's tit: Extremely flat

Gutted: Disappointed/Devastated. Used by all ages.

Hammered: Very drunk. Used by all.

Jammy: Lucky, getting lucky without effort ("You jammy bastard.")

Knackered/Shattered: Tired, exhausted / Can also be used to describe something that is broken. Used by all.

Minging: Disgusting/Unpleasant.

Pissed/Pissed-up: Drunk (But can still be used to mean Pissed Off/Angry) Used by all.

Piss easy: Very easy. Used by all.

Piece of Piss: Very easy. Used by all.

Thick: Stupid, dumb (Can be extended into a simile Ex, "Thick as pig shit") Used by all.

Verbs

Batter: strike repeatedly with hard blows, beat the shit out of someone. Used by all.

Collar/Collared: Seize/apprehend, or to stop someone in order to speak to them. Used by all.

Faff/Faffing about: Waste time, doing something (typically something useless) in a really disorganised or pedantic way. Used by all.

Kip: to sleep/nap (literally where my name comes from lmao) Ex. "I'm goin' kip," Used by all.

Leg-it/Legged it/Legging it: Run for it. Used by all.

Mouth/Mouthed/Mouthing Off: talk in a loud, unpleasant or rude/disrespectful way. Used by all.

Nick/Nicked: To steal. Used by all.

Scarper/Scarpered: Run away. Used by all.

Shag: To have sex with someone

Skive/Skived/Skiving: Avoid work or a particular duty by staying away or leaving early. Used by all.

Yank: Pull something very hard. Used by all.

Phrases and Idioms

All over the shop:

Can be used to mean "everywhere" ("You're getting it all over the shop!" / "You're getting it everywhere!")

Can also mean to describe something or someone as being in a disorganised or confused state. ("He was all over the shop,")

Used by all.

Armed to the teeth: Carrying a lot of weapons. Used by all.

Bastard: Can sometimes be used in a similar way to "Dammit!" - an expression of frustration. Used by all.

Can also be used like "damn" when referring to something in frustration. (Ex. "Close that damn door!" would be "Close that bastard door!")

Bastard can also be added after an adjective for added effect "Thievin' bastard," / "Mardy Bastard,"

Bastard in general is a very versatile word, it can be used as an insult but also can just be used to refer to someone generally. See it as a sort of replacement for "guy" in some aspects (but not all). ("Poor guy,"/"Poor bastard,")

Combining the above two, you can get the wonderful phrase "All over the bastard shop."

Bone to pick: Having a grievance with someone. In some cases may indicate reprimanding. Used by all.

Built like a brick shithouse: Describing someone who's very big and very strong. Used by all.

By the skin of one's teeth: By a narrow margin, only just, ("Hanging on by the skin of his teeth"/"Barely holding on") Used by all.

Cheers: Casual term for "Thanks" Used by all.

Christ on a bike: Used to indicate shock, surprise or exasperation, a more humerous take on "Jesus Christ" Used by all.

Fuck me: An exclamation used to indicate annoyance, exasperation and frustration. Can also be used to express surprise or disbelief (Kind of in the way you'd use "Jesus Christ") Used by all.

Gagging for it: sort of like "begging/asking for it" / really wanting something/tempting fate. Can be used in a taunting or threatening way. Used by all.

Ex. “He’s gagging for it.”

Give/Gave someone a seeing-to: Similar to battering someone. But can also mean fucking someone (often used humerously in that context). Used by all.

Have a laugh/Having a laugh: Also has two meanings depending on context, used by all.

1. Joking around, generally having fun with something

2. To express annoyance when you think someone is being unreasonable or unfair

Hell's Bells: an exclamation of annoyance or anger. Can be made into an angrier expression by throwing fuck in the middle. Ex. "Hell's fuckin' bells!" - I'd say used by all, but probably moreso older people.

I'll have ya: A threat, similar to "I'll get you," Severity of the threat depends on context, ranging from collaring someone, to beating the shit out of someone to straight up killing them. Can also be used in a joking way between friends. Used by all.

Innit: Short for "Isn't it" or "Ain't it" Used by all ages.

Pack it in: Stop it/Cut it out. Typically used in a frustrated way. Can be emphasised by adding fuck, ex. "Pack it the fuck in!" Used by all.

Pissing About: Wasting time. Used by all.

Pissing it down: Raining really hard. Used by all.

Piss(ing) Oneself Laughing: Laughing uncontrollably. Used by all.

Pissing Oneself: Very scared. Used by all.

Shaking like a shitting dog: To describe someone who's shaking a lot/shaking badly. More of a northern phrase, I think.

Shit/Shat me/you/them up: To scare someone/make them jump

Ta: Short, casual term for "Thank you" Used by all.

Take the piss/Taking the piss: Used by all, has a few meanings

1. Making fun of/mocking someone in a way that isn’t intended to be serious (teasing) (Sort of like “Fuck with,”)

2. To lie about something in a really obvious, sometimes outrageous way. (”What? Really?” “No, I’m taking the piss.”)

3. To describe someone who’s taking something for granted, taking liberties or being unfair.

Rhyming Slang

Tits-up: something going horribly wrong. Used by all. ("It's all going tits-up,")

Wind(ing) someone up: Similar to taking the piss, purposefully being annoying by making fun, teasing or playing practical jokes. ("Where's X?" "He's winding Y up.") May also be used in disbelief when you think someone is being unfair or dishonest ("Are you winding me up?") Used by all.

Wind up merchant: As above, a wind up merchant is someone who enjoys winding someone up, this name is often given in annoyance by the victim

Rhyming Slang gets its own section because it's a wide and wonderful topic. I can't put every possible option, but I'll pick a few favourites. I highly reccommend anyone who's interested to look into it more. Rhyming slang can also just be made up on the spot, and I'd say it's moreso used by older folk.

To use rhyming slang, you just use the phrase in the place of the actual word you're substituing out. Basically just like using synonyms.

Some rhyming slang can be shortened further into just a word.

Bell Ringers/Bellies: Fingers

Boat Race/Boat: Face

Brown Bread: Dead

Butcher's Hook/Butcher's/Butch: Look

Hank Marvin: Starving, hungry

Pat and Mick: Sick

Plates of Meat/Plates: Feet

Septic Tank/Septic: Yank (An American) 

Tea leaf: Thief

Two and eight: State (Describing someone who is dishevelled or upset.)

Extra/Misc

Depending on the situation, "fucking" can be turned into just "kin"

Ex. "Fucking Hell" can become "'kin 'ell!"

This also applies to "Fuck Off" which can just become "Koff"

Ex. "'koff with that shit,"

Depends on the situation honestly, sometimes the "fu" sound can be a lot more emphasised. The art of british swearing is a delicate one.

Insults can also be made out of pretty much anything, so long as it's put after "You absolute-"

Cunt can be a little divisive when used (some have no problem using it, others find it to be too abhorrent to use) but it's used pretty commonly.

"the fuck is happening in ukraine??" for the ignorant [23feb22]

THIS IS NOT EXHAUSTIVE. I have left out happenings. As I typed this more movement was reported. This is happening NOW.

Here is a map of Ukrainian oblasts (regions)

Direct your eyeballs to the eastern (that's on the right of the map) oblasts of Donetsk and Luhansk. These two oblasts make up the Donets Coal Basin, or Donbas region, of Ukraine. coal coal coal.

Hold them in your mind.

On this map above you can see an outline of the Russian separatist-controlled area of Eastern Ukraine. Please note that the Russian separatist-controlled area is not analogous to the oblasts of Donetsk and Luhansk. When on 21 February 2022 Putin declared recognition of the Donetsk People's Republic (DNR) and Luhansk People's Republic (LNR) as independent, we did not know if he meant just those cities and the surrounding Russian separatist-controlled areas OR the entirety of the oblasts. Where these borders are is incredibly important because Putin will use any excuse to declare a Ukrainian provocation. This ambiguity is to his advantage. [This is besides the fact that Putin has no fucking right to declare any of this land independent, or take any of it for Russia in the coming days.]

The Russian separatists, of course, claim the entirety of the oblasts, and Putin recognizes those claims. Russia has come to the "aid" of the separatists to defend against Ukrainian "aggression."

Tonight (23 February 2022), President Zelenskyy of Ukraine tried to speak to Putin on the phone, but was rebuffed. He gave a brief update to his people in Ukrainian, and then a long speech to the Russian people in Russian. Below is text of a translation of that speech from Max Seddon on twitter [thread starts here, good follow]:

We are divided by a shared border of more than 2,000 kilometers. Almost 200,000 of your troops and thousands of military vehicles are standing alongside it. Your leadership has ordered them to move forward, onto another country's territory. This step could be the start of a big war on the European continent. The whole world is talking about what could happen any day now. Any provocation. Any flare-up – one that could burn everything.

They're telling you that this flame will liberate the people of Ukraine, but the Ukrainian people are free. They remember their past and are building their future. Ukraine on your TV news and the real Ukraine are two totally different countries. Ours is real.

There is more, click above link to read.

Russia is going to invade Ukraine, and not just the Russian separatist-controlled regions that were recently declared independent republics by Putin. This is colonization. Ukraine has a rich history and culture separate from Russia (its history and culture is MUCH OLDER than that of Russia, even). Putin denies this and claims that Ukraine is Russian. This is false and ahistorical.

(But why are there so many Russian-speakers in Donetsk and Luhansk? Well perhaps because the Soviets committed genocide in the 1930s and purposely starved millions of Ukrainians so that ethnic Russians could move onto their land. Search "Holodomor" if this is new information to you.)

The UN Security Council has called an emergency meeting for 9:30pm EST (I'm posting this at 7:22 PM EST)

The mayor of Kyiv, Vitaly Klitschko, has declared an emergency.

Airports are closed in Eastern Ukraine.

Full Video: Riekko mukana hiihtoreissulla, Tolkuton Willow ptarmigan included in ski trip

polish government has opened a website for ukrainians seeking safety and trying to cross the ukrainian-polish border:

ua.gov.pl

as of 13:10 polish time, it has been said as many people as possible will be let through the borders. they are also supposed to let through children who do not have passports, as to not divide families.