Great Detectives Are Wont To Lie

happy birthday to me…..

My birthday was on Easter this year, and the next time that’ll happen is in 2033. I am older now. I am less mature than before. God help me.

Masks of Smoke

MISSION BEGINS IN 60 SECONDS.

“Say, Spy. How does your mask and disguise thing work?

The RED Spy stiffened. Scout continued talking.

“I mean, all you do is put on a mask and throw a smoke bomb and now everyone thinks you’re the stupid Medic or something. What’s the freakin’ deal with that?”

“Scout, are you sure that your mind the size of a quail egg could understand it in the first place?”

“Of COURSE I can understand it,” said Scout, waving his hands in the air indignantly, “Besides, quail eggs are huge, man! Have you even seen one before?”

Spy blew a puff a smoke and smirked. 

“And have YOU ever seen one? They’re smaller than chicken’s eggs.”

“...quail eggs my ass. Tell me how your freakin’ mask works!”

Spy sighed, then put out his cigarette. 

“Well, the smoke encourages the idea of the mask actually being my face. It’s memetic, I’d say. It makes the enemy team think that I’m one of them with whatever new chemical from Australia it uses.” Scout blinked, his mind hitting a brick wall the second Spy had said the word memetic. Of course, he was the smartest in the entire RED team, so of course he knew what it meant! It was just...used in Spy terms. Yeah, that must be why. Spy’s speaking in Spynese.

“Alright, alright, I understand. But just in case, y’know, could you like...repeat that in English?”

Spy rubbed at his forehead, then mimicked Scout’s voice perfectly.

“Of COURSE I can understand it! Very well Scout, here it is in English. The smoke makes people think that I’m actually whatever mask I am wearing. Without the smoke, people would see me as a man walking around with a mask. And without the mask, the smoke has nothing to convince people of. Understand, Scout?”

“Yeah, I guess. But what makes the smoke ‘memetic’ or whatever?”

“Like I said, it’s something from Australia. No one knows what the hell those Australians do down there, especially after they discovered Australium.”

MISSION BEGINS IN 10 SECONDS.

Spy picked up his balisong and examined it, while Scout pulled his bat up over his shoulder.

“I wish you luck, Scout. This mission isn’t going to be an easy one.”

“Hey, thanks. Get them all smoked up out there for me!”

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Memetic (as from the SCP Wiki) -  Memetics in regards to SCP objects tends to focus on the impossible rather than the mundane, regarding effects that are transmitted via information. In general, the effects themselves should remain in the realm of information. A memetic SCP would be more likely to be a phrase that makes you think you have wings as opposed to a phrase that makes you actually grow a pair of wings. If you write up magic words that make people grow wings, it should be described as something other than memetic.

(is my writing any good? tell me where I can improve in writing, since I’ve never had actual feedback for my work)

teleport this bread around

come on spread the word

empathy gets treated as this universally positive thing but we forget that empathy often equals pain, and pain often activates fight or flight behaviors. a lot of my most asshole moments as a person were motivated by a twinge of empathy that was too painful to engage with in that moment, so i became aggressive and mean, NOT compassionate and helpful

THE ISWM DOCUMENT, WITH VERY GOOD THOUGHTS AT THE END!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ikJA4T0N3bjLicy7NueXiiGJQyfCOYLAcIEedI0TnhQ/edit

I posted the link to this document earlier, however I’ve since added more to it! I’m very proud of those, and I’d appreciate if you gave it a read!

For people who don’t know, this document contains all translations in the website Markiplier posted in the description of PARADOX DETECTED, and now includes translations from ERROR and a section for theories.

TL;DR: Document now has very good extra bits to it that are worth reading!

I really do adore the kind of character who would rather make everything worse than even try to fix the problem. Yeah man, fuck communicating with your friends, blow the place to hell!!!

Alright it’s theory time. (practically no spoilers I’d say).

This one’s a bit far out there but it’s been living in my head rent-free so it’s time to evict it to tumblr. 

Satoru Hosonaga is Miles & Gregory Edgeworth’s ancestor. YES I SAID IT WAS FAR OUT THERE PLEASE LET ME FINISH

Okay, so if you can’t read the horrible low-res screenshot, the gist is that there are a couple visual similarities between them, being:

- All three have a sprig of hair that sticks up in the back. It’s unnoticeable from the icons alone (exception of Hosonaga), but from the sprites and in-game art both Edgeworths have that little tuft.

Also on the topic of hair, in the AA trilogy icon for Miles his hair color not only matches his father’s a bit more but also Hosonaga’s. (however in DD and SOJ it turns into a much lighter grey)

- All three have glasses. Granted, Miles gets his glasses later on in life, however it implies that they all have bad vision. Poor vision “tends to run in families”, however is not genetic. 

- Both Gregory and Satoru have defined cheekbones. Miles doesn’t, however he is 100% related to Gregory so he is excused for this one. 

- Not written on the image, however on the wiki their heights are all pretty close to each other.

Miles Edgeworth: 5′10′’; 178 cm

Gregory Edgeworth: 5′9′’; 176 cm

Satoru Hosonaga: 5′10′’; 178 cm

Granted, Hosonaga is from the late 1800′s/early 1900′s, so the height likely isn’t accurate. However, it is written on the wiki & supports my argument, so I will be taking it as canon despite its flaws.

THINGS CAN CHANGE THROUGH GENERATIONS. Miles and Gregory have vastly different hairstyles, and yet they’re still related. Skin tone can be accounted to lighting/health conditions. (Hosonaga has a colored background for his icon and also probably suffers from iron deficiency/anemia due to his constant coughing)

Now for personality, I’ll be going off of the Ace Attorney Wiki.

- All three are honest & hardworking.

- Professional/Serious demeanor. (Hosonaga has the wackiest disguises yet treats them all seriously & professionally so I guess.)

- Dedication to the truth. (it’s Ace Attorney what else would it be)

- Caring/Dedicating a lot for family/friends. (Miles to Phoenix, Gregory to his son & maybe Raymond Shields, Hosonaga to Asogi/Ryunosuke)

In conclusion, there is proof that Satoru Hosonaga is an Edgeworth.

Anyways, that’s the end of this theory. Personally, I quite like it, however I understand why many people would prefer other possible ancestors. Hosonaga is a background character that doesn’t have a lot of screentime, but he’s also one of my favorite characters in the whole of the Ace Attorney franchise and he deserves more love than he gets. 

Clumbo screenshot redraw!!

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