I'm Small And I Have Gay Tendencies

the five stages of grief: writer's edition

denial: "this draft is amazing. no need for edits. it’s practically perfect as is." you’re so confident that you close the document for the day, smiling like you’ve just discovered the next great american novel (or swedish, or british, whatever). plot hole? who is she?

anger: "why did i ever think this was good? this is garbage. i am garbage. my characters are flat, my dialogue is cringe, and my prose sounds like a robot swallowed a thesaurus and threw up on the page." rage-quit the doc and go aggressively scroll pinterest for "writing inspiration" that you will never use.

bargaining: "if i fix this one scene, the whole thing will click into place. i just need to write one more subplot, maybe five more chapters, a quick rewrite of the entire ending, and then it'll be fine. totally manageable." queue up 17 youtube videos on "how to fix your plot" that you play in the background while staring at your ceiling.

depression: "i will never finish this book. it’s doomed. i’m doomed. why do i even write? who let me have ideas?!" lay dramatically on your bed, considering taking up knitting or rock collecting instead. cry a little over how your characters deserve a better writer.

acceptance: "this is the best i can do right now, and that’s okay. i’ll take a break, come back with fresh eyes, and remember why i love this stupid, broken story." suddenly, your MC whispers something brilliant, and you're like wait… maybe i'm a genius after all.

and the cycle begins again. writing is a joy.

Do you ever just consume something that makes you go "oh god I need this vibe all over my story" "I need to inject this aesthetic into my book" "I need this thing to stick itself right in the plot holes and defile my writing"

Muunmuassa tästä syystä kirjoitan salanimellä. Mutta äitini on älykäs. Kun olin lapsi, hän löysi jokaisen tavaran jonka väitin kadonneen - joten luultavasti hän löytää myös minut.

After spending a month editing: I'm DONE. FREE. The shackles hath been broken. My story is the best it's gonna get, I have no more energy to continue.

Me in the shower 5 min later: But what IF I changed that one sentence in chapter 9...

sometimes i go back and reread what i wrote a while ago & i'm like