Humans Are Obsessed With The Idea Of Angels.

Fucking bastard

the concept of aziraphale, inhumanly strong and capable of bending reality with a thought

making like a victorian maiden by pretending to have the constitution of those dying of consumption just because he gets a kick out of how he can bat his eyes and have crowley do anything

really just gets me, like, every single time

Why do I hear my grandma saying this!?!?!

Reblog if you think Brock's laugh is adorable

you young people have never experienced real homophobia before. real homophobia is ginger and miles from bright young things never meeting once.

Hiccup: Where’s Snotlout?

Tuffnut: Doing stuff.

Hiccup: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Astrid?

Tuffnut: Trying to stop Snotlout from doing the stuff.

Hiccup: And Ruffnut?

Tuffnut: Trying to stop Astrid from stopping Snotlout from doing the stuff.

Hiccup: I see. And what are you doing here then?

Tuffnut: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Ruffnut from stopping Astrid from stopping Snotlout from doing the stuff.

I see your Aziraphale adopts Miles Maitland and I give you

Crowley is best friends with Davina

Guys, hear me out

We all joke a lot about Anthony Janthony Crowley (and I love it), but I also really like the theory that the J refers to his old name, his name as an angel.

So I researched some angels who have names beginning with J.

And I found Jophiel.

While most of his description doesn’t really fit Crowley, there is one thing that just blew my mind. 

But before I tell you, remember: The first time Aziraphale and Crowley met was on the wall of the garden of Eden. And they don’t just run into each other by accident, Crowley deliberately slithered up to the angel. 

And I thought about this a lot. Why did Crowley approach Aziraphale?  He just tempted Eve and Adam and should expect any angel to be furious with him, and even if you forget about that, he’s a demon, for god’s, for satan’s, for somebody’s sake, why is he so eager to start a conversation with an angel? And as they talk, one of the first things he brings up is Aziraphales flaming sword. It’s a little out of the blue if you ask me, why is he so interested in the sword?  Well, let me finally tell you what was so mindblowing for me about Jophiel:

Jophiel was known for carrying a flaming sword.

So why is Crowley approaching Aziraphale? Because maybe he knew that this angel was assigned the sword that used to be his.

That’s why he almost immediately brings it up, that’s the reason he wanted to meet Aziraphale, despite the risk of approaching an angel.  I also like to mention that he is rather serious and critical, when he starts questioning Aziraphale. 

Maybe he’s even afraid of how someone else might use it, after all we know that Crowley isn’t a fan of God “testing” and punishing the humans.

That’s why he is so delighted when he hears that Aziraphale actually gave it to the humans.

He’s surprised and amused here, but I can’t help but think that he is relieved as well. Because now he knows that his old sword isn’t in the hands of an angel who is eager to smite the humans.  A lot of fans think that Crowley fell in love with Aziraphale because the angel gave his sword to the humans, and if it truely belonged to Crowley in the past, it makes this moment even more meaningful.  I know it’s just a theory, but I just love how this connection would deepen their bond even further. So yeah. Anthony Jophiel Crowley. 

... Yes, I love men over 45.

you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them

Undeniable Proof that Aziraphale is That Bitch™

Over the last couple of nights, I’ve been skimming my copy of Good Omens again, because so many people in the comments of my other post were somehow surprised by the suggestion that Aziraphale might be a garbage angel. But like… He is. He really is.

So here, an itemized list of Aziraphale being absolutely Extra (capital E) with evidence:

1) That time he chose his CD player over Heaven.

“That’s it, then,” said Crowley, with a gleam of triumph. He knew Aziraphale’s weak spot all right. “No more compact discs.”

2) That time he lit a traffic cop’s ticket book on fire because he didn’t want to pay a fine.

As they drove past an astonished traffic warden his notebook spontaneously combusted, to Crowley’s amazement. 

“I’m pretty certain I didn’t mean to do that,” he said.

Aziraphale blushed. “That was me.”

3) That time he collected Bibles, but all of them were evil.

And he had a complete set of the Infamous Bibles… These Bibles included the Unrighteous Bible… the Wicked Bible… the Discharge Bible… the Buggre Alle This Bible…

4) That time even the apocalypse couldn’t dent his manicure or his obsession with occult prophecies.

No one knows what happened to the legions of unsold copies of Agnes Nutter’s book. Certainly none remain in any museums or private collections. Even Aziraphale does not possess a copy, but would go weak in the knees a the thought of actually getting his exquisitely manicured hands on one.

5) That time he may or may not have done… something ominous to the mafia.

Or sometimes, while they were talking, other men in dark glasses would wander around the shop shaking their heads and saying how inflammable paper was, and what a firetrap he had here.

Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he’d think about it. And they’d go away. And they’d never come back.

Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.

6) That time he was just an absolute mannerless heathen.

“You said it was him!” moaned Aziraphale, abstractedly picking the final lump of cream cake from his lapel. He licked his fingers clean.

7) That time that he actually considered moving to Hell with Crowley.

“I suppose–get off the road you clown–” Crowley said, “your people wouldn’t consider–and the scooter you rode in on!–giving me asylum?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

8) The raw confidence it took to deliver THIS:

“Some Southern pansy,” Shadwell said, “I heard him. He was in here, suggestin’ things to yer. I heard him.”

Madame Tracy’s mouth opened, and a voice said, “Not just A Southern Pansy, Sergeant Shadwell. THE Southern Pansy.”

9) That time the line “You go too fast for me Crowley” was amusing to any book reader who remembers book!Aziraphale beating Crowley’s top speed by over 90mph while driving a scooter:

Look at Crowley, doing 110mph on the M40… …This was exactly like that, except that instead of a gleaming twelve-mile-long spaceship, it was an off-white twenty-year-old motor scooter. And it probably wasn’t going at more than two hundred miles per hour.

10) That time his sass game was so strong even Crowley had no answer.

“We seem to have survived,” Aziraphale said. “Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.”

“Um,” said Crowley.

And this isn’t even mentioning the time he left a loaded gun in the hands of a sugar-high 11-year-old, was the only main character responsible for actually killing an animal, dropped the book’s one (1) F-bomb, manipulated a human into agreeing to murder a child, performed what looked exactly like a demon summoning ritual, lied to God, and broke the first commandment…

TL;DR: Aziraphale is a L E G E N D and Crowley legitimately wishes he could be this cool.

I ACCEPT!!!!!

Imagine an AU where: 

It’s post-Armawasn’t, Crowley and Aziraphale are bopping around London when they both suddenly feel a surge of demonic and angelic energy. For a few minutes they’re legit fearing for their lives until they round a corner to find Gabriel and Beelzebub messily* sucking face

*They haven’t quite figured out how everything works with these squishy bodies yet

Cue absolute rage on Crowley’s part. Armageddon aside, everyone knows damn well they were targeted for being friends and now here their bosses are, climbing each other like forbidden apple trees and moaning loud enough to scare off alley cats. They tried to burn Aziraphale and now here they are acting like a couple of love-sick mortal teens? The absolute HYPOCRISY

Crowley’s about to go in swinging with a bat he conjured up when Aziraphale beats him to it. He calmly—but with an air that makes both lord and archangel still—approaches and announces that yes, they saw them. Yes, Aziraphale has photographic proof (he shakes the ancient Nokia that he’d used slyly on the fly and Crowley is suitably impressed). From here on out if you ever approach us with anything other than an apology we will send these to both God and Satan themselves

Zira-Just-Enough-Of-A-Bastard-To-Be-Worth-Knowing-Fell just accomplished his first blackmail and Crowley has never been more turned on in his life

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