"I Am Undone Without You."

this is a sign to visit museums and cafes and just draw!! its so much fun!! i rlly recommend it even if you dont consider yourself an artist.

heres a really bizarre doodle i did in like a minute yesterday so i dont feel embarrassed posting other bizarre doodles i actually tried hard on.

Hey I’ve been struggling with developing a character’s inferiority complex. Do you have any tips on ways to show not tell this?

How to write an inferiority complex

An inferiority complex can be described as a chronic low self-esteem, a consistent feeling of inadequacy.

Causes:

a low status in the social hierarchy

specific aspects about themself (physical or something else) that are looked down upon in society

being talked down on a lot

a lack of parental acceptance

failing to live up to high expectations put upon them

not reaching a goal they decided on themself

How to show a character's inferiority complex:

People act differently with this diagnosis, sometimes also depending on the situation and the person they are with. Here are some ideas.

show them focussing on negative aspects a lot

not being able to see it when something did work out well for them

talking badly about themself

withdrawing from friends and family

not being able to take a compliment or criticism

demeaning other's as a way to make other's feel as bad as they do

trying to get attention and even pity

can be shown through perfectionism

and not being able to cope well if something does not fit into the standard they have

I hope this helps you out!

- Jana

"i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too."

wow. holy shit. thats what winter is to me. ive never been able to put it into words before.

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

please someone teach me the secrets of painting. this is like my fourth time using gouache and i have no idea what i'm doing. also yes i forgot her barrettes and hair tie just shush i got tiredddd

I genuinely feel so bad for homophobes,, they will never understand the JOY of gay subtext and the giddiness of shipping silly guys online

Just started reading Senpai, Does It Taste Good? Which, of course, is about lesbians and cooking.

Miho and Mori are two girls that each have eating issues and discover comfort in each other. Miho loves cooking but is very insecure about eating in front of others. Mori can't cook but enjoys learning from Miho. I can't say more about her issues because spoilers. So far, it is super cute and both are canon sapphics.

CW: the manga does have panels showing eating apps that count calories!

yes, i failed inktober. no, i dont care. i still painted some very spooky scenes even tho i wish i made more. have some doodles among my notes for school.

“Poor? Have you tried starving? “