I May Be Too Chronically Online, But There Has Not Been More Likely Allies In The Past 30 Years.

all politics about ai aside if you use it to create fanwork you're just a fucking dweeb

I'm just like if a girl was a silly little guy

remembering the time I called american psycho (a satirical film about toxic masculinity) a dark comedy and the overwhelming response was 'oh so u think men killing sex workers is funny? u think THAT'S funny?' like no I find a patrick batemen listening to 'i'm walking on sunshine', killing jared leto while wearing a clear raincoat and giving a dissertation on huey lewis n the news, using 'I need to return some video tapes' to get out of awkward situations, throwing a hissy fit about business cards, dropping a chainsaw down a flight of stairs, thinking an atm is telling him to feed it cats, and crying hysterically under a desk is funny. but thank u for ur wonderful insight

reblog this to give the person you reblogged it from an orgasm

Tiny trees tiny trees tiny trees

No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don't care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

After seeing all the responses to it, I decided to ☠️ the live action Lilo & Stitch to see the damage for myself. Setting aside the common criticisms (no gantu, jumbas... everything, Nani and Lilo's relationship or lack thereof, cobra bubbles/the social worker, The Ending), something that honestly killed the movie in its infancy for me is its pace and its noise.

This movie is allergic to beats of silence or introspective moments, which is bonkers, because that's one of the things that makes the original so strong. Lilo walking home alone after hula practice. Nani sneaking to hear Lilo's prayer. The quiet after the incident at the beach before Lilo says, "You ruined everything." Stitch alone in the woods before he cries out that he's lost. All of these moments so many more are cradled by silence as the movie urges us to look and listen with patience. In the live action, these moments are rushed (at least the ones that are still in it, as not all of them are) and they suffer for it. Hell, even Stitch's escape sequence is undermined by how rapid the pacing is.

So many times, I found myself just wishing for the movie to *breathe*. There are so few moments of quiet introspection, and the ones that are there are still littered with extra things that just clutter the simple, powerful story underneath it. Tack on that almost every single intimate character moment or interaction is punctuated with a joke of some kind. It's like the movie is insecure about its own sincerity, so it buries it under cheap jokes and quips.

What really gets me is that the original is funny in part because of its ability to be quiet. Lilo showing Nani Stitch's record player trick is funny as fuck in the original because of how its quiet. Lilo's deadpan face, Nani's stunned silence, and the pauses when Lilo closes his mouth all service the comedy of the scene. The scene also acts as another reinforcement of Nani's understanding of Lilo in that she simply watches to see what the fuck her weirdo little sister has figured out.

In the live action, they have Lilo talking throughout the whole bit, and Nani just offhandedly responds while only looking at her phone (the movie is so confused as to how Nani feels about Lilo in my opinion) and it just falls flat, even with the read that the scene is meant more to illustrate their strained sister relationship.

It honestly stinks cause the little girl playing Lilo is adorable and doing a great job, especially for her age and for the crappy movie she's in. Her dynamic with Stitch, while altered (she's more of a little troublemaker type in this, sneaking into resorts, freeing someone's chickens, sneaking candy to feed the shelter dogs, etc.), is still well done and very wholesome. I just wish they'd gotten a better movie to be in.

Tldr; the movie lacks dynamic pacing and the quiet moments that made the original movie's simple, grounded (lol sort of) story so impactful.

Musings About Being Addicted To Sadness

TW: depression, addiction, suicide

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Addiction runs in my family. Alcohol is the big one but drugs and food are as well. I managed to dodge the alcoholism because I could never get the taste for it. Unfortunately, I find myself addicted to sadness. To misery. I crave it. I intentionally do things to make myself sad or wallow in my feelings when sad things happen. I shop for misery on the internet and I savor it in my mind until I'm nothing but a heap on my bed silently weeping into the night until I just fall asleep.

I feel a relief from sadness akin to the feeling of a painkiller finally kicking in. It's just a wash of peace. I feel at home in it. And that scares me. Part of me is screaming to do something. Dance. Sing. Talk. Run around. Do something -- Anything -- to make it stop so I don't barrel toward something dangerous. But god, I am addicted.

It pulls me in and holds onto me and feels like a warm blanket. The way it blocks me from joy and from life feels like protection. It feels like it's encouraging me to just sleep. Rest. All I ever need is rest. Even if my eyes are tired and dry from crying every few hours. Even if my belly aches from hunger from refusing food. Even if my heart burns from the lack of water. Even if I'm dying. I don't care. Why would I? Dying is the the ultimate form of peace, right? The long silence. The sleep that doesn't end. How could that not be enticing? When you're dead, there's no need for hunger. No need for water. No need for tears. You just rest. You don't have to face yourself or the morbid world ever again. Why wouldn't I want it?

Eventually I always feel better. I look back on the way I wallowed and I feel silly for it. I've felt real, true pain before but I didn't feel it just now so why did it consume me just the same? Then it rears its ugly head again, "You're so stupid for feeling sad over nothing. You have nothing to be sad about and you're throwing a pity party. You're pathetic. The only reason you should feel sad is because you're a whiny insignificant girl who constantly cries wolf on her own brain."

It tries to suck me back in. Usually it succeeds. Sometimes it doesn't. On those good days where it doesn't, I realize it's too late. I've already wasted the day away. I've already cursed myself with a nausea that food can't fix. I've exhausted myself to the point where I'll never sleep that night. I've alienated a loved one who only wanted to help. And all I can do is apologize and hope I haven't finally pushed them to the point of not caring anymore. I can't blame them for not caring. You can only care so much about someone who isn't helping themselves.

I try so hard to improve. I go to the therapist. I take the meds. I read the self help books. I do the worksheets. I meditate or exercise when I have the energy but the progress is so slow that that blanket will slide back over me to tell me to rest. It's too much energy. I'll never get better. And I either have to let it comfort me in its own twisted, life-draining way, or I have to use the last of my energy to shove it off. I wish I could burn the blanket. I wish I could rip it to shreds. I wish I could throw it in the dirt and bury it.

But I can't. I need it.

And I hate it so very much that I do.

WA