Autistic Pigeon, Doesn't Read The Social Coos

Mmmmmmhhhhh

how to get rid of the feeling that there is something irreversibly and unforgiveably wrong with you?????????

NO THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO RELATABLE

Now is this a crush I have or is it cause I'm touch starved and being hugged made me feel loved and safe

oh so when vampires have heightened sensory awareness it’s cool, but when I have it it’s ‘autism’

Reasons I like subtitles:

1. I can see how people’s names and the cities and the countries are spelled.

2. I don’t miss any words, so everything they say makes sense.

3. I get to know what background noises and conversations are.

4. The descriptions of the noises people make are freaking awesome. Ex: splutter, grunt, chuckles.

5. I can see who says what.

6. I don’t have to have the volume super loud so I can hear the dialogue, and I don’t blow my eardrums out because the ambient noises and music is SO FREAKING LOUD.

I freaking love subtitles.

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.