"Blorbo From My Shows" This, "blorbo From My Videogames" That. What About "blorbo From My DnD Game" That

Finally posting chapter 1 of my fic Picking Up the pieces! For the occasion, I’ve redrawn my first durgetash comic based on the chapter below. Hope you enjoy!<3

Thinking once again about Durgetash and the concept of servitude.

About how Durge was made for servitude. Their whole purpose was to do Bhaal‘s will, to let Bhaal act through them, to worship in total obedience. And they *did* for a long time. For them, servitude was (un)holy, it was admirable because it meant serving a greater purpose (bringing upon the end of all things).

And how Gortash on the other hand spent his entire life fighting against authority so he won’t have to serve *anyone*. First his parents, then the house of Hope, then the city… climbing literally out of hell and up those climbing social ladders until the only one he serves is the one who helps him to the top. And only as long as it fits him- considering he was fully willing to share his throne with Durge, something that - as many have pointed out - is very much against Bane’s whole thing and could be considered disobedience once again.

And I’m thinking again about how Gortash calls Durge *his* assassin in the same conversation he calls him his *equal* and…

There’s something beautiful about the thought of Durge, who was born to serve One, straying from that to instead rule with another - a blade who chooses their own wielder - and Gortash, who refused to serve and instead fought his way to the top, who saw himself as above all others, at the height of his power stepping aside to lift someone to his same level.

I can’t help but look at them, look at all their narrative foils and dichotomies and similarities, and think that there was never any other choice but each other, in whatever capacity people headcanon.

There really is no one who does it like them.

Smooches for babygurl

Enver "no I'm not in love with The Dark Urge, what are you talking about" Gortash

Enver "they live?" Gortash

Enver "kill Orin for me and I'll literally give you the world" Gortash

I think a really interesting angle to look at Gortash's and Durge's relationship from, is the twisted sense of...safety Gortash got from it.

Safety? Around the Dark Urge? You must be mad Tumblr user Felassanis! Well give me a second.

It's about the same type of safety you might get from a really violent dog that trusts only you. Who snaps and is willing to bite anyone except the one holding it's leash. This is great for maybe going on walks if you're terrified of being attacked. A good dog to have in a house in case of burglary or whatever...

And Gortash has never really known much safety. He wasn't safe from the abuse of his parents, the abuse and danger of being raised by Raphael and his staff. He's not even really safe from Bane, his own God, who Gortash MUST know that if he fails him Bane is gonna make him suffer big time. Then, he was in a very dangerous line of work being an arms dealer in the Underworld prior to becoming a lord, surrounded by crime syndicates out to stop him from rising the ranks.

The guy literally has anti-anxiety armour. He, to his core, is pretty much still that terrified little boy Raphael had in the Hells, the little boy cowering from his vile parents.

Then he meets The Dark Urge. The child of the God of Murder Bhaal. The progeny of one of the most darkest and most violent assassins to ever walk the world. An Assassin themselves. And they enter a deal together, one out of neccessity to achieve their ends of course. But wherever Gortash points...Durge will go and kill.

That's perhaps not the strongest basis for a relationship. But then, Gortash and Durge start...admiring one another. Deeply. And this is where I steer into head-canon territory...but imagine having a Bhaalspawn as deadly and as effective as Durge essentially almost at your beck and call. But more than that, they are your partner. Dare I say, Durge potentially becomes Gortash's own assassin?

If someone were to try and take Gortash out. Durge would stop them. And it would be for more than just to safeguard their alliance so they can dominate the world. It's also because Durge likes Gortash. They don't want him dead, the bond has gone much deeper now.

Gortash has always had to save himself. Look out for himself. Until he finds an equal and a partner in The Dark Urge. And there is so much you can chew on with that.

That's an incredibly powerful thing to have. The admiration of a Bhaalspawn like Durge. A cruel, violent thing that he has the confidence of. A murderous creature who stays their hand around him, but will snap at whichever target he points at. That must be such a safety net for Gortash, and it's not just one he's bought out, or dominated, or tricked into serving him whatever. This safety net comes from somewhere genuine that he has EARNED because he's gained Durge's admiration.

To Gortash, being the fucking exception to a creature of murder must be such a privilege. And it gets him a kind of safety he's never known from another person. Ad yeah, he definitely saw the benefit of having this from a detached standpoint - ooh look at me, Durge won't kill me and that pissess off literally everyone and I can use this to my advantage. But I reckon Gortash, who also respects Durge, is honoured by it. Affected by it. Cherishes it.

Going into MAJOR head-canon/fanfic territory. It's even intriguing to think about this mostly violent person being vulnerable and softer around Gortash. (Like the mornings waking up together hehe) Seeing these humanising moments that, arguably the Chosen of Bane shouldn't be privvy to as no doubt Bhaal is fucking seething. But he sees it anyway, and is likely the only person ever to see them like this. His own little reign of tyranny over them as he sees sides to them never shown before. But it's a two-way street - Gortash when he reunites with the Dark Urge, is very visibly on display very happy to see them. He's not able to contain it much because...he thought they were dead. His favourite assassin, and here they are alive and well and things can go back to the way they were and he's elated at that idea.

Lastly, I have to rain on the parade just a bit with some canon. Yes, there is a sense of privelege to being the only one a violent dog won't attack. But how permanent is that relationship? A really violent dog in reality, is only a few triggers away from turning on you. Biting you. And in Durge's case, yes they maybe don't want to kill Gortash. But that isn't how it was ever going to end between them. Funnily enough, Gortash's safety around Durge was only ever temporary. Gortash was always going to die one way or another and it's extra tragic if the one person he ever found some safety in is the one to turn the knife on him. Even more so, because it was originally destined to be this way had they dominated the world. Gortash was both safe and never safe from The Dark Urge.

gortash people are meaner to gort than his haters like gort haters will just be like "he's evil, egotistical, ugly, and annoying," meanwhile gortfuckers are like "he's the most pathetic terrible man on earth who will never be cool no matter how hard he tries. he looks like he eats nothing but microwave lasagna, adderall and cigarettes. my wife.

He lives for the headpats.

God, I can't believe you have to give up two major quests to side with Gortash & all you get out of it is like 5 extra minutes of positive Durgetash interaction & it's still 1000% worth it.

It's hilarious to me too, the way he tells it at the morphic pool, he does not actually think the two of them will succeed at subjugating the elder brain. Like he goes into that interaction expecting to lose but also just does not seem sad about it at all. I think maybe he always expected they would go out in a blaze of glory because they always had such a massive "high risk high reward" mentality, so they were always just doing what they could on the off-chance they actually happened to win. They're completely insane. Let's finish this like we started it.

So I'm writing my fanfic, and I've never written smut before -as in NEVER. Started by diving off the deep end and doing durgetash, because I'm a big boy and I can do whatever I want. Knew what I was getting into, I'd planned it out and everything, it wasn't even THAT BAD like, there was some blood and death threats so I figured it'd be fine, but WHOO BOY was I not prepared for the mental journey writing that scene was gonna take me on. Like damn. I just put that into the world.

It's fine tho, I had fun and I'm looking forward to writing the rest of it

The other day, I saw a non-fandom text post along the lines of:

“What we had was so special you’ll look for me in every new person” (sorry I haven’t been able to find it again)

And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Because to me this perfectly describes Durgetash + romancing your companions.

I can’t help thinking about amnesiac Durge missing something, always searching, but can’t remember what.

They find echoes of it in Gale’s intelligence, his enthusiasm and knowledge when he speaks about magic. And yet, it doesn’t fit entirely.

They find it in Lae’zel’s easy superiority, her ruthlessness and determination. And yet, it’s not quite enough.

They find it in Astarion’s deception and easy charm, the way he manipulates a situation to his advantage, the way he doesn’t need magic to have people literally bare their necks to him.

They find it in Shadowheart’s snark, her secrecy, her dark goddess. They find it in Karlach’s rage (though she burns hot instead of cold which is odd..), in the smell of sulphur and hellfire that clings to her. They especially find it in her mechanical heart, that makes them want to reach out, bury their hands in it, just to see if it feels as familiar as it seems. If maybe owning her heart will fill the hole in their memories, their chest even.

And yet, surprisingly, they find it in Wyll’s pact, Wyll’s past, but also Wyll’s manners and they way he dances, his stories, that make them feel closer to a city they don’t much care about otherwise.

They find it in the deep possessiveness, maybe even hatred, when Raphael first comes to camp.

And yet none of it is enough, none of it fits quite right, and while maybe eventually they manage to look past that familiar feeling and find new things to admire about their chosen partner…deep in their heart they know.

In the end, they’ll always look for something none of them can give them.

Not until they first encounter that handsome young man with an easy smile, and all the jagged broken edges click together like horrible little puzzle pieces.