When I Miss You I Just Look Up To The Night Sky

That Familiar, Yet Unfamiliar Feeling - Part 5

Summary: Lost and adrift after the events of Order 66, Ahsoka and Rex struggle to find their place in this new reality. Both need to deal with the loss in their own way; as they help each other in this shared struggle, their relationship blossoms into something neither expected. As the threat of the Empire grows, can such a tentative, new connection be sustained? Or will they be torn apart by their duty to fight?

Fandom: Star Wars The Clone Wars

Pairing: Rexsoka

Rating: M

Chapter Word Count: ~4000

Posting the next chapter a few days ahead of schedule! This chapter is both fluffy and rather angsty, and one of my favorites. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think!

If still doing the kiss roulette, 35 or 43 Rexsoka? Pls and thanks.

Thank you so much for the request! I decided to do both prompts in one fic, so this one got a little longer than intended. I really hope you like it thought <3 This fic is set sometime during the later half of TCW and I want to make clear that this is an aged up, adult version of Ahsoka! If i ever write her during TCW I always age her up :)

Full fic below the cut!

Reasons

Kiss Roulette Prompts: 35 - a kiss against a wall & 43 - a bloody kiss

Pairing: Rexsoka

Word Count: ~1600

Warnings: blood, minor injury

Rex shoved Ahsoka against the wall, covering her body with his against the shower of shrapnel that followed the deafening blast from the Separatist cannons. Every nerve in his body was on high alert, and his muscles were tense, ready to jump and move again if need be. The shrapnel, gravel and debris pinged and clattered against his armor, and Rex pressed even tighter against Ahsoka, ensuring she was entirely shielded from the aftermath of the blast, knowing she wore far less protective equipment than he did.

Her hands were clutching his chest plate, and he listened to the sound of her breathing, muffled behind the ringing in his ears from the blast. Her respirations were clear and even, and Rex matched his breathing to hers, slowly calming his racing heart.

When it had been silent for long enough that Rex was certain another blast was not coming, he relaxed marginally and chanced a glance over his shoulder. Sure enough, the spot in the square where they’d been standing was now a crater, and various chunks of debris as well as troopers unlucky enough to be caught in the blast littered the area.

Rex couldn’t tear his eyes from the bodies, strewn at awkward angles throughout the square as they were. He fought the urge to run to his brothers, desperate to search for survivors, however small that possibility that might be.

“They’re…” Ahsoka coughed as the dust in the air tickled her throat, interrupting her words. “They’re gone, Rex.”

As she confirmed his suspicions, Rex let out the breath he’d been holding, shoulders slumping under the weight of his despair. His entire squadron, gone in one moment. He wished for the chance to mourn, but they needed to move, and they needed to do so quickly. They still had a shield generator to destroy so General Skywalker could move his troops through the main streets and into the legislative buildings were the Seppies were holed up, and now they needed to do so without the rest of their strike force.

With a sigh of resignation, Rex turned back to Ahsoka to suggest they do exactly that, but he found his words remained trapped within his throat at the sight of her.

Ahsoka was dabbing with her bare hand at a laceration on her forehead, just below her headband. As scalp wounds were wont to do, it was bleeding profusely, and the blood easily escaped her half-hearted attempts at tamponade, running down the right side of her face. It marred the beautiful white markings on her cheek, and stained her lips a bright red.

Rex was no medic, but he’d tended to his fair share of wounds. Theoretically, he knew this wound was superficial. Theoretically, he knew that the scalp was a very vascular part of the body, therefore although the blood loss looked impressive, it was likely not serious. Theoretically, Rex knew Ahsoka would be just fine.

But in reality, Rex tore his helmet from his head, letting it bounce haphazardly across the ground as he dropped it unceremoniously. He grasped her chin with trembling fingers and turned her head, pressing the gloved fingers of his other hand firmly against her wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Rex, please, it’s fine,” Ahsoka grumbled, trying feebly to free herself from his grasp, but he held her fast, pressing her into the wall more securely to prevent her from escaping.

Refusing to take no for an answer, Rex indicated to his belt with his chin. “There are a couple of bacta strips in the side pouch. Grab them for me.”

“You’re overreacting,” Ahsoka bemoaned with a roll of her eyes, but she did as he bid her, grabbing the bacta strips and handing them to Rex. “I’m fine.”

“You will be,” Rex agreed gruffly. Then more softly he said, “Please, just let me help you, ‘Soka.”

His gentle plea effectively silenced any further protests from Ahsoka. He made quick work of treating her wound, appraising his work briefly once he was done.

“There,” Rex stated softly. “Good as new.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and laughed softly, laying her blood-stained fingers gently against his cheek. Her smile was sad, as how could it not be in a world filled with war and death, but her words were light, buoying his heart against the darkness and fear.

“My hero. You saved my life and patched me up,” Ahsoka told him with a subtle wink, a little impishness making it through the sadness in her smile. Rex cradled her face in his hands, his eyes reflecting her melancholy, but also her resolve. They couldn’t linger long, but Rex took the chance to be with her now, if only for a moment. The reality of war had taught him to savour such moments. Nothing was permanent. He could lose her as easily as he’d just lost all of his men.

“Mmmhmm. And just how will you ever repay me?” he quipped, leaning down while losing himself briefly in her beautiful blue eyes. Ahsoka smiled fully, her gaze drifting down to his lips.

“I can think of something,” she murmured. She stepped closer, and Rex watched as her eyes fluttered closed. His own were half lidded.

“Hmm. Something nice, I hope…” he replied.

Ahsoka’s lips brushed his. “Very nice, I promise.”

Before Rex could respond, she kissed him. Her lips were soft and sweet, and Rex cradled her face gently between his hands, swiping his thumbs lovingly over her cheeks. All he could feel was her. She invaded all of his senses, sweeping him well away from the horrible reality of war, if only for a moment.

But as she deepened the kiss, the tangy, metallic taste of blood slipped through the blissful haze the movement of her lips had lulled him into.

Suddenly, he could hear the distant blaster fire, mixing with the even more distant clanking of battle droids. He could smell the scorched earth from the cannon’s blast and felt the dirt and dust upon his skin and hers.

The wounds on his heart opened anew as he thought of his men, dead in the square behind him while he stood, alive and well, kissing his Commander.

He should stop it. He should end things as regulation and expectation dictated. He was not a mere man, entirely susceptible and beguiled by the affections of a woman, even a very beautiful one such as Ahsoka.

But that was entirely the problem. This wasn’t some irresponsible dalliance, distracting him from his mission, his purpose. This was love. It was the desperation for a connection with another being, fighting for life amongst all the death.

Ahsoka was his whole world. The clones were bread to fight for the Republic. They didn’t need a reason to do so. But all the same, Rex knew Ahsoka had become his reason. He fought, day in and day out, for her.

Desperately, he deepened the kiss further, slipping his tongue into her mouth as he pushed her a few steps back towards the wall. Gasps left both their chests as they crashed harder than Rex had intended into the solid structure.

He couldn’t stop, and he didn’t want to, so he continued kissing her and touching her, pressing their bodies as close together as his blasted armor would allow. Ahsoka returned his passion with vigor, her fingers hooked around his chest plate, holding him close while her other hand scrapped against the back of his head.

They kissed without a thought for anything but each other. Rex didn’t even bother to stop for a breath until he could go no longer without one.

When he broke the kiss, his chest was heaving, his oxygen starved lungs begging for relief. Ahsoka’s breathing was similarly labored, and she clutched tighter at his armor, unwilling to let go.

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice breaking. Rex opened his eyes then to find hers filled with tears, which slowly slipped down her cheeks, creating tear tracks through the dried blood that still marred her beautiful features. Rex blinked away the blurriness from his own vision and held her tighter.

“I love you too, ‘Soka.”

They held each other for a moment more before Ahsoka let out a long sigh, breaking through the emotional veil of desperation, fear and love. Rex stepped back, standing at attention, while Ahsoka peeled herself from the wall, brushing her hands over her battle dress in an attempt to clear it of any dust and grime.

Bending down, she grabbed Rex’s helmet from the ground, studying it briefly before holding it out to him, He accepted it from her, but hesitated before placing it upon his head. Ahsoka pressed a hand to his cheek and tried to smile, although her eyes were still troubled by a stormy darkness, dimming her shining blue hues to a muted grey.

“Please don’t die,” she bid him, her voice breathy and desperate, as it seemed she too must have tasted their mortality and found it rather jarring. Rex leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead, before pressing his own against one of her montrals.

“I go where you go, cyare. I have no plans to leave your side.”

“See that you don’t,” Ahsoka ordered before stepping back, her posture and expression morphing into that of his battle-hardened Commander once more, although the affection in her eyes remained.

“Yessir,” Rex agreed, nodding before securing his helmet upon his head. Taking a deep breath, he deferred to her, ready to jump back into the fray, as his duty bid him. “Lead the way, sir.”

Ahsoka nodded and they slipped around the wall, keeping to the shadows as they pushed on towards their objective. Although weary and worn, war left no rest for any but the dead, and Rex was not about to join them. So, he followed his Commander without question, staying close to her side as she bid him, and keeping her even closer to his heart.

winning shot

Last Line Challenge

Thanks for the tag @tealmisthams!

This is from the next instalment in my Crosslo series, which I am slowly working on! Please enjoy :)

She knew she was likely blushing like an idiot, but she otherwise tried to smooth out her appearance, dusting the sand from her hair and her back, and readjusting her shirt where it had ridden up to her ribs. She resolutely ignored the warm, honeyed desire in her core, pretending like she didn’t want to grab Crosshair’s hand and run across the beach in search of another secluded location to finish what they’d started. But she was able to control herself. Probably. Mostly. Maybe.

The rest of the series can be found here on ao3!

NPTs: @ladylucksrogue, @whyamismall, @melting-houses-of-gold, @aknightreaderr, @acatinwinterfell, and anyone else who wants to participate!

bringing back my favourite comic that I've made for The Bad Batch 🥲

much much love to the crew and everyone involved!

I read this post by the talented @space-b33 and I had to doodle some art based on their ideas right away, so here you go - Crosshair and his cat! I 100% believe he’d have a soft spot for cats - it didn’t take a lot of convincing for him to take this curious kitten back to the Marauder. Hunter can’t stand the smell and Tech won’t stop sneezing, wrecker has almost sat on her twice but he couldn’t care less. I think he’d call her Sylvia, or Sylvie!

That Familiar, Yet Unfamiliar Feeling - Part 16 & Epilogue

Summary: Lost and adrift after the events of Order 66, Ahsoka and Rex struggle to find their place in this new reality. Both need to deal with the loss in their own way; as they help each other in this shared struggle, their relationship blossoms into something neither expected. As the threat of the Empire grows, can such a tentative, new connection be sustained? Or will they be torn apart by their duty to fight?

Fandom: The Clone Wars

Pairing: Rexsoka

Rating: M

Chapter 16 Word Count: ~7,000

Epilogue Word Count: ~700

Ahhh the fic is finally finished!! Thank you to all my readers for all your love and support! This fic was a major labor of love, and I am so excited to finally share the finished product with you all.

On a related note, I had originally planned to do a sequel to this fic... if this is something people would actually be interested in reading, please let me know!

Thank you everyone for all the love and support! This has been quite the journey <3

Arlo

color: Green -> a color often associated with spring, life and new beginnings, Arlo embodies all of these qualities. She is vibrant and full of feeling, and her endless optimism allows her to inspire new beginnings in even the most desolate of beings flower: Spring Beauty -> symbolizes cheerfulness, youthful gladness, which is Arlo's general state of being animal: Dove -> this ties into the role she plays in Crosshair's life. Just as the dove is a symbol of peace, freedom and love, Arlo is Crosshair's love, helped him make peace with the scars of his past, and ultimately find his freedom scent: Freesia -> a light, cheerful scent, often associated with springtime song: imperfect for you by Ariana Grande -> this song is the Crosslo theme. Neither is the perfect partner, but they are exactly what the other needs, and are better together because of it feeling: warmth -> a lot of the Crosslo series focusses on Crosshair and Arlo's desire to feel safe and a sense of belonging, and this is often described as the feeling of 'warmth', which Arlo embodies for Crosshair.

This was a fun way to share more about Arlo with you all! For those who don't know her, she is my oc love interest for Crosshair in my Crosslo series, Cross My Heart and Help Me Heal . Please check it out if you want to read their story!

NPT: @ladylucksrogue, @tealmisthams, @queenjiru, @lexavalon052, @leenabb104104 and anyone else who wants to participate!

Credit for the page breaks to @rpiconsgalore

Blank Template Below:

✍️ even more fic writer asks!

This one is a behind-the-scenes dive into a specific fic. Followers can send an ask with a number & the fic they’d like you to talk about ✨OR✨ you can decide what fic you’re focusing on and just ask for numbers. (Or reblog and answer everything like a Q&A)

Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

How did you come up with the idea?

Did the idea change at all by the time the fic was complete?

If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?

Did you outline the fic?

How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

How did you decide what character(s) would narrate the fic?

Did you cut something out of the outline or an early draft? What was it and why did you decide to cut it?

Did you get stuck at any point? How did you get past that?

How did you approach writing the fic? (e.g. wrote it start to finish in order, started with the ending, starting with the twist)

What was the most challenging aspect of writing it?

What program(s) did you use to write and edit?

Did you write any of the fic by hand? If yes, which parts? Do you find you write differently by hand vs typing?

Talk about the fic’s opening scene & how you approached it

Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those

Talk about the fic’s biggest moment & how you came up with it

Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

Talk about your editing and revision process

While editing, did you kill any darlings? What were they?

Did you work with a beta? How did that affect the finished fic?

Did the fic end up shorter or longer than you had planned?

What is something you learned about yourself as a writer from the experience?

How did you come up with the title?

How did you celebrate finishing?

Share your favorite line

Share your favorite detail

Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

Write a new summary for the fic, but badly

If you made a playlist, talk about the songs on it and share a link

Would you ever return to the story’s universe and write more?

Last Line Challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

Thanks for tagging me @ahsokathegray and @tealmisthams!

I was editing my multichapter fic today, That Familiar, Yet Unfamiliar Feeling, and here is the last line I wrote:

Rex cringed internally as the words left his mouth, but Ahsoka was already nodding. She almost looked excited. It brought one of those dopey half-smiles to his face, and he gazed at her softly, relishing in the way she looked up at him expectantly with her palm raised to touch his hair. There wasn’t an ounce of sadness in her eyes, and he decided he’d let her touch his hair every day for the rest of his life if it made her happy like this.

The chapter this line is from is not posted yet, but the first three chapters are here on ao3!

Tags: @ladylucksrogue, @whyamismall, @saviinika, @acatinwinterfell, @mschiefmanagxd