Snowflake-elf - Just A Silhouette

Okay 6th year gryffindors learning the patronus charm and James is one of the first to get it (after Lily and Sirius, remus found an excuse to sit it out bc he didn't want to risk the class seeing a wolf and putting things together). They've already done the theory so they know the whole 'reflective of your soul' or 'changes to represent a loved one, especially if they are your happiest memory' and when they eventually manage corporeal patronuses, James' happens to be a lion.

A big, prowling, majestic lion. Most of the room are impressed and a little jealous but not too shocked by it, they automatically assume that it's the animal which most resembles him because...gryffindor lion. It doesn't get much more James potter than that. But his group are very confused. Patronuses were supposed to match animagi and they'd already managed that one, so they had silently accepted that it would be a stag. So when it isn't, they have to hide their shock. They sort of brush it off after a while because James is similar to a lion so maybe it's just something to do with strength in the memory he chose?

But James knew the second the lion looked at him that it wasn't his animal. He would always be a stag, he knew that much for sure. This was Regulus. Cor Leonis. The lion, brave, strong, and powerful but cowering behind the powerful women in his life and 'lazily' biding his time until he has no choice but to do something. More importantly, James loved him, and nobody was supposed to know. His patronus has shifted from a stag- prideful and representative of James as an individual- to a lion- a symbol of his love, power and courage. And he is the only one that knows.

Regulus who learned to be an animagus to sneak out of his room and onto his roof at night

Regulus who soon learned being an animagus comes in equally is handy to sneak around the castle at night

Regulus who crosses paths as an animagus with James when he was out for a prank, and he couldn’t stay away. its always easier to give into what he wants when he’s a cat

Regulus who finds out James is really good at petting

Regulus who acts like it didn’t happen at all

Regulus who keeps sneaking out to walk around and clear his mind and keeps every once in a while bumping into James, more and more until it’s every night he can’t escape James finding him to play

Regulus who starts actively looking for James because, well, James will find him anyway so let’s save themselves the time

Regulus who once a month can’t find James and james apparently can’t find him either, but he gets visits of a stag in the courtyard

Regulus who one night finds james drunk, after he snuck out of a gryffindor party, and keeps him company until he sobers up. James doesn’t, he talks and talks to the cat. At one point he tells him he reminds him of a boy he likes. they fall asleep together for the first time

Regulus who learned enough about animagi to become one and do silly things, not caring much about the details for the first time in his life. Regulus who therefore doesn’t know animagi can accidentally turn back human in their sleep, o even turn back into animals all without waking up

James who wakes up at 4am in some hallway, still tipsy and with a headache, and looks down to see regulus laying down on top of him fast asleep

James who says “i knew it” before falling back asleep and acting like nothing happened

Regulus who woke up an hour later, a cat again, in horror at how well he slept. He claw James’ hands to jolt him awake before leaving him there and going back to his room

James and Regulus who end up routinely sleeping on James’ bed, because James wants to and Regulus is convinced nobody will know anyway if he’s a cat

Regulus who turns switches between human and animal repeatedly in his sleep and James keeps acting like he doesn’t know but still charms his curtains every time so nobody will ever see

Regulus who wakes up from a bad nightmare in James’ bed and James hurries to comfort and reassure him

Regulus who is still in shock from the nightmare it takes him a second to realize he’s a human… around James

Regulus who takes evem longer to realize James isn’t reacting at all to the fact he is a human in his bed… he is Regulus of all people, in his bed

and then they kiss mwah mwah thank you

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

»Look,« I say, »There's Venus, the evening star, named after the godess of love and beauty, because in the night everything can be pretty.«

You don't answer, you don't even look up from the ground where you've been pulling out blades of grass.

»See,« I say, after some time of you staring at the ground and me staring at the sky, »There's Ursa Major, a polar bear to guide us on our way.«

This time you let out a little »hmmp« sound, but you continue your activity of strewing grass over your legs.

»From there,« I say, after I've waited for you to say something, anything, »You can find Ursa Minor, with the North star to protect us.«

Now you sigh very silently, maybe you're tired or bored.

»Over there,« I say, pointing into the sky, »Is Orion, the hunter, to bring clarity to our journey.«

You hum under your breath, examining a leave with more interest than you've ever showed me.

»And this,« I say, one last attempt to talk to you, »Is Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, resident in Canis Major, to help us-«

Before I can end my sentence, you get up from the ground brushing the grass from your trousers, and all I can do is watch your silhouette against the night sky, as you wander away from me.

I don't see you often in the following months, and now youre looking at the sky, now that I can't see it through the ground.

I really think it's awful to say that Tonks changed or transformed parts of herself to look more like Sirius in order to be loved by Remus, as if she herself didn't deserve it already.

oh to be loved the way i love

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

on colors and being different and not being enough for yourself

(please reblog instead of liking)

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”