This Is Uber. Am Outside

im here for these two pika boyfriends

More Chain "weirdness" because, honestly, these Links are living anomalies

Time: He knows the time. Exactly. Always, if you ask, you'll get the answer down to the second. (A common headcanon)

Stal monsters are absolutely terrified of him. They'll attack if other Links are around or if backed into a corner. But out in the open? They scatter. The Stal monsters can sense something is just wrong with Time. Maybe it's the Fierce Deity that still lingers within him.

Or maybe, just maybe.

They know what happens to him.

Even his own weapons are anomalies. Wild tried to take a picture of the Gilded Sword for the Compendium, and the Slate crashed.

The magical operating system of the Sheikah Slate hard crashed and, when rebooted, displayed only one line when the image of the Gilded Sword was selected.

"Error: Temporal Anomaly detected"

The image itself could not be displayed.

Twilight: Mirrors will very, very briefly show an image of a wolf whenever the Rancher stares into one.

Goats and other farm animals will always approach Twilight.

The Captain joked that the animals can sense that Twilight worked on a farm and is very good at it.

But do they sense that? Or something more?

Wind: Ever since getting the Phantom Sword, the Sailor's perception of time can randomly slow. The way he describes it reminds Wild of his Flurry Rush, but Wind can't control when it happens. It just does.

Four: The Smithy has a similar effect when it comes to reflections, but his mostly appears in pools of "magic" water, such as the water found around the Great Fairies in Wild's Hyrule.

Whenever he stares into such waters, he doesn't see his reflection, only the Colors staring back.

This also applies to pure silver. Which is why Four went from making silverware to making weapons.

Legend: The Vet has an uncanny ability to just know what magic type something is by just looking at it. And it's not just from experience

If the Vet were to ever face the Gloom, he'd know it's from Ganon without even knowing that Ganon was back.

Hyrule: No matter what village the Chain travels to. Everyone there just recognizes Rule, but can't explain why. Even if they've never met a Link before.

Warriors: His mere presence causes guards and the such to treat him and the Chain with the utmost respect and authority. The Captain could be in his pajamas, and it'd happen.

Wild: People, outside of those closest to him, will just forget his face entirely. Distant friends take a second or two before realizing that they're looking at the Champion.

Sky: The Divine Dragons, if visible, will just follow him. The breeze by him is always comfortable.

The shadows underneath him display a different figure at sunset. One that wears a pauldron on his right arm. None of the Links wears a lone pauldron besides the Captain.

Sky knows who the shadow is.

He was the first to be reincarnated after all.

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

Sakura starters

"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

i find the implications hilarious:

kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that

but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh

yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function

upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!

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Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

Honestly the mere fact that some people refer to Daddy Long Legs as “harvestmen” is creepier than 90% of all deliberately created horror but like the worst part is that the alternative is calling them Daddy Long Legs

Klance Meeting the Family Headcannon

When you go out with someone, it usually lasts for only a few months before you break it off. But if it goes on for a longer time than a few months then you’re committed. And that means it’s time for the make or break moment; meet the family. Now this includes, but is not exclusive to, the immediate family of your signifigant other. Sometimes we get along with the families and other times not so much. Or there is a whole other third, neutral outcome. The point is this is a test of might that everyone has to face at some point when you date someone. And the cute couple of Klance is one of the manly couples who have had to deal with this.

How did they deal with it exactly? Here are some headcannons that I made to give you guys a better idea…

•After ten months of dating, Lance asked to meet Keith’s parents. He knew it was time and he wanted to show Mrs. Kogane and Mr. Kogane that he was a true gentleman. But as the night where he would meet the parents came closer and closer, Lance got more and more nervous. He prayed to every God he could think of to make sure this didn’t turn bad…

•The night of the big meet with Keith’s parents Lance is first met by his good old country boy father from Texas. Given his polite Southern charm Lance is easily able to click with Mr. Kogane. But the real challenge comes from Keith’s mother, a headstrong Korean lady. Between her unusual tall stature and the fierce gaze in her eyes Lance’s heart beats ten thousand times a second. Then when Mrs. Kogane pulls him to the side he thinks it’s all over. But it turns out she just wanted to hug him and give her approval one on one. With his previous panic now gone, Lance is able to fully enjoy the evening.

•By this time, it’s almost Christmas and Keith and Lance have been together for nearly a whole year. Then it’s Keith’s turn to ask to meet Lance’s family. And if you thought he was worried over meeting his boyfriend’s folks he’s having an anxiety attack now. Lance can only foresee horror in having his beautiful love meet his crazy family, none of whom is as crazy as Uncle Flaco. Though he tries to get out of it Keith insists on seeing everyone for a Christmas dinner.

•The time of Christmas Eve has rolled around and though he seemed calm about it Keith is very nervous. He knows that Lance’s family means a lot to him and doesn’t want to screw this up. He even goes the extra mile and learns a little Spanish to try and engage in conversation. When he gets to the McClain family house, there is people EVERYWHERE. And when they all see him the loud home goes quiet. Then they scramble over towards Keith. The ladies all start fawning and cooing over him while the men all congratulate Lance for landing a K-pop star for a beau. Keith is happy to have Lance’s family accept him and they all enjoy a wondrous Christmas.

So all together while they started out nervous in meeting their respective relatives, Keith and Lance are glad that they did. Especially since it would be too awkward for the wedding.

I think it’s interesting that tabletop warlock bargains generally operate on the idea of eternal servitude or owning your soul or whatever but there is a world of alternatives that range from funny, dramatic, or just plain interesting. Consider:

Patron was sealed for a long period of time, and more than seeking their revival, they miss the world and its experiences, and thus seek warlocks who are willing to share their senses with their patron and thus ameliorate the loneliness and fatigue of ages

Patron likes money and valuables and will bequeath power in exchange for a warlock who will share their adventuring fortunes. 

Patron has a chaotic sense of humor and likes fire and explosions; causing spectacular destruction pleases them.

Patron is just kind of a (relatively wholesome) frat bro who gave the warlock powers because they decided the warlock was chill and could hang, maintaining powers hinges on navigating said relationship. Patron may manifest physically for the exclusive purpose of fistbumping warlock if they do something really cool.

Patron is a foodie and warlock is a chef traveling the world looking for rare ingredients and lost techniques to construct dishes that please their patron’s palate

Patron is a literal patron- warlock is an artist of any form and the patron commissions them for works from time to time.

Warlock babysits (or performs another service) for patron, who prefers to pay them in dark powers.

Variant on above where warlock is occasionally ordered to perform various esoteric tasks such as delivering an object to a site or obtaining something and sending it to their patron- they are simply running their reclusive patron’s errands as the latter would rather not leave home.

Patron and warlock promised to be best friends forever when one or both of them was a small child and patron takes that very seriously

Patron likes blood but is disinterested in full-body sacrifices as their particular taste means that some people are exceptionally delectable to them, and it seeks to prolong those people’s lives as long as possible in exchange for semi-regular ‘blood donations’

Patron was disembodied and in exchange for being allowed to inhabit the warlock’s flesh, is willing to fight to defend the shared body.

Patron specifically seeks to cultivate adventurers and support them throughout their career, in a manner similar to a professional wrestler’s manager.

Warlock was a child sacrifice, offered live, at a dark altar; patron has an interesting definition of what ‘the child is now mine’ entails.

Patron is an alternate timeline ‘potential future’ of the warlock’s who is either trying to influence events to ensure their timeline or prevent it.