Had To Label The Old Trash Barrels So The Collectors Would Know To Take Them

that was officially the most sexual video of 2016. "dad",,

“teach me dad”“ohhhh baby”“now i’m horny”“lick it phil give the people what they want”“look at those hard balls”“get that naughty ball covered in chocolate”“i want your ass”“i’m actually having an orgasm”“i would eat me any day of the week”

aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets 

homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay

Me: hello darkness my old friend

Darkness: I have a boyfriend

dan what the hecky doodle r u doing

Any plans for the eclipse?

Fighting the Fire Nation while their bending is temporarily taken away

I walked to a deli and got a sandwich to go and a coffee and while I was waiting these two teenage girls ran up and were like OH MY GOD JESSICA HOW ARE YOU and then hugged me and the one whispered “that guy was following you and taking pictures of you” and then they walked home with me and that one guy stopped following me and hONESTLY THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR