When Ur Inconsiderate Genetic Duplicates Fake A Few Deaths And Kill A Sith W/out You

Assad Zaman's portrayal of Armand is particularly striking to me because of his profound stillness—a trait that could easily be attributed to Armand being 500 years removed from his humanity. However, there's an additional depth to Armand’s minimal movement that I think might stem directly from his humanity, itself. As a slave, one of his primary responsibilities was to pose for portraiture—a task that requires remaining immensely still for long hours to avoid disrupting the painter’s gaze. I think that this experience has subtly shaped Armand's posture; even centuries later, he instinctively maintains a certain poise, subconsciously always holding the perfect angle. His face card never declines because if it ever did, he would be beaten.

hey you. indie creator. get rid of the corporate execs and the imaginary writers room in your brain. the cynical youtube reviewers and disney fans who want sanitized uwu gays probably are never even gonna be even slightly aware of your existence. write those unrelatable blorbos and those messy themes and that weirdly sexy violence. you have no one to answer to but yourself. give yourself what you want and maybe some day, some 3 random lesbians from the internet whose interests you have somehow exactly hit will look at your thing and think its pretty cool, and in the end thats all you ever needed

Sirius doesn’t feel sad, he just feels empty. His little star just burst.

(my art)

Reblog to kill it faster

Problems in the 501st that Rex submitted to Jedi General Krell:

Several Clones are dissatisfied with the risky methods of the General and fear for their lives

Problems in the 501st that Rex had to submit to Jedi General Anakin Skywalker:

Tup can't find his caterpillar plushie and hasn't been able to sleep. Attempts to read him a bedtime story have failed.

Fives has not slept for 48 hours to keep Tup company and because "he is stronger than the urge to sleep"

Jesse was bitten by Fives in a brotherly quarrel

Dogma is concerned about a rash on his shoulder

Hardcase has consumed 15 energy drinks in order to "fuse his mind with God"

Kix reports that he is experiencing "pretty boy problems", whatever that means

Jesse has spilt soup on Dogma's bedsheets and Dogma is now very angry

Fives reports that he was "verbally harassed and psychologically attacked" by a "very mean" Coruscant Guard for "being a little silly at 79s"

Dogma got into a bar fight with "some bitch named Croissant"

Fives needs help convincing Hardcase that getting a tramp stamp is a bad idea

Tup is concerned for his big brother's safety because of Fives' repeated attempts to form a union

Tup is struggling to fall asleep again because Commander Fox told him "a scary story called 'The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise'" that he got from an author who wanted to remain anonymous

The barracks are on fire.

Jesse forgot his juice pack on the Venator.

in an alternative universe they are besties for @agendratum

KinnPorsche + text posts (pt.23/23)

I like to think about what if the Kaminoans just, fucked all the way up and made the clones telepaths on purpose.

Kamino is in the Rishi maze, the equivalent of total buttfuck nowhere. This is like a cattle processing plant in rural Montana manufacturing an order for Shenzhen as outlined by a third party intermediary from Monaco who keeps contact with neither production nor “client” and nobody’s first language is Basic. Jedi are like, totally psychic right? Right. Psychic army for psychic clients, sounds right, checks out. There are whole ass telepathic alien species out there, some of which are also Jedi. Why would they want NON-psychic clones. Get it done, Tally Ho or Nala Says or whatever her name is. Chop chop.

Cue like seven years into production and the Kaminoan project leads are starting to get some… inklings…. that maybe some of the deliverable specs were perhaps not so much well-researched as based off cross-galactic hearsay some underpaid analysts pulled off space reddit. This is a business, okay? You’re not gonna make profit manufacturing two million units of fucking anything if you treat it like a luxury product, but especially not if the product has goddamn childhood development & socialization needs. Of fucking course some shit maybe slipped through the cracks. What are we supposed to fucking do now, Lama goddamn Sue sir, tell the Jedi or the pickled fucking Sith that oopsie woopsie, we got the specs wrong half a decade in and have to start over again?

No. No we are not. We are going to lie our fucking semi-aquatic asses off, is what we’re gonna do, and so will you clones if you know what’s good for you. NONE of you are fucking psychic, and you never were. Got that? Understood?

Fast forward to Jedi pickup D-Day and every time anyone with a lightsaber gets within aural biosystem of choice distance the clones immediately start loudly and dutifully Having Conversations.

Hello Commander Sir, It Is I, Trooper McSoldierClone, What A Weather It Is Today, Ha Ha? Over. Yes Indeed McTrooper One Two Three Four, I Am Agree, Now Here Is An Order To Follow Which I Am Vociferously Giving You, Acknowledge Orally, Over. Every clone making rock-hard sweating eye contact like don’t fuck it up as they mentally chant encouragement and script notes and jeering performance feedback at each other. Cadets trooping to fucking speech practice to learn speaking out loud with all the enthusiasm and skill of the average white suburban Floridian teenager taking their fifth mandatory Spanish 1 class. The jedi are like damn these poor asylum grown freaks are so unsocialized and uncomfortable around us, Their Owners, this is so tragic and horrid and unfortunate and meanwhile every clone standing silently in formation is mentally spectating the 400-person telepathic tetris team sport they invented with the same vibes as a football world cup back alley street party complete with official & unofficial betting pools and expert panel commentary

all of my ocs are inherently neurodivergent in someway because i dont know how neurotypical people work

Rex won't stand by that bs

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Obi-Wan’s mindwipe didn't fail and he was sold away before Jinn was able to find him.

Years later, on Tatooine, Jinn meets Anakin Skywalker, who works part-time in Watto's store, because he wants to help his mother and older brother Ben.

Anankin takes one look at them and goes "Oh, you're finally here! I've been waiting for you all day. C'mon, dinner should be ready soon, mum will be upset if it goes cold."

Jinn and Padmé go all WTF but follow the kid since the sandstorm is coming and they don't have another option. Anakin spents the whole time asking Padmé questions and Jinn only manages to interrupt when they get close to the house.

Jinn: "How did you know we'll come?" Anakin just shrugs.

Anakin: "Ben told me. And he's almost always right." And then he yells something like "Beeeeen, that weird guy in robes is here!"

A head pops out of the house, looks them over and then Ben gestures for them to get inside, while chiding Anakin for his manners.

They have dinner during which Jinn just can't figure out why this Ben's presence bothers him so much. He's met Force-sensitive adults before, it's nothing new. But something is seriously off with this particular guy. Maybe it's his red hair and blue eyes, so painfully familiar...

Meanwhile, Padmé tells Shmi about their problem and she and Ben share a look.

Ben: "We've been saving money to buy tickets to Alderaan. It should be enough to get the parts you need."

And Padmé with her strong morals says "Oh, no, we cannot possibly take your money-" that's all she's able to get out before Ben raises his hand.

"I wasn't done." He says calmly and Jinn shivers at his tone. "We will give you money if you take us with you and compensate us upon the arrival to Coruscant, sans the money for the food and the like."

Padmé agrees, since it's a reasonable request, but Jinn frowns in disapproval.

Later that evening he tries to get a sample of Anakin’s blood to confirm his theory, but cannot get the boy alone. And Ben just stares at Jinn without saying anything until Jinn quietly retreats.

In the morning they get all the parts and fix the ship.

The whole week they spent traveling Jinn tries to get that sample. He fails each time. Ben seems to have an uncanny ability to appear out of thin air, and Jinn would have suspected that he was a trained Force-user, but he can't find enough evidence to prove that.

When they land and Padmé meets Palpatine, Ben goes stiff and steps in front of Anakin and Shmi, shielding them slightly. He smiles politely, but his gaze is sharp.

And just as Ben is about to take their stuff from C3PO Jinn is like "Oh, that's our speeder." Points at the Temple speeder and marches the family into it. "The Temple has the most modern medicine and the best healers, please let them examine you. This is the least I can do to thank you for your help." He claims, but in reality he just really wants to see if he's right about Anakin.

Ben and Shmi agree, since none of them ever been seen by a real doctor and Jedi Healers sound very good.

It all goes to shit when Ben's DNA matches with one Obi-Wan Kenobi, who's been missing for twelve years. The Council is in uproar and demands to see him right away.

Jinn, shocked and confused, stares at his long gone Padawan and wonders, while Master Windu asks Ben to tell them about himself.

Ben shrugs.

"Not much to tell. Woke up one day on a ship, been sold the next day, worked my ass off for several years then ran away and hid on Tatooine. Met Shmi and Ani, freed them and we've been living together ever since."

The Council is devastated by all of this and Mace tells Ben about his life in the Temple and offers him to stay, to help him recover his memories.

Jinn decides to chime in with "I think Skywalker is a Chosen One and I wanna train him."

He immediately gets a a very firm "No" from Ben. He has his arms crossed and glares at Jinn. "I don't care about all this properpcy stuff, Ani is just a kid. You lot have non-Jedi workers here?" Mace nods. "Wonderful, then we'll stay and Anakin can join the Initiates if that's what he wants and then he can decide if he wants to be a Jedi. Now, if you excuse me, I need to talk to my family, have a good day." He walks out, slamming the door behind him.

Every judgmental stare turns to Jinn.

He squirms.

***

Anakin joins Feraliios Clan. Ben works all around the Temple, fixing stuff and Shmi works in the kitchen, which improves the flavors significantly.

Jinn doesn't stop pestering Anakin about the properpcy until one day he gets fed up and bites Jinn in the forearm.

He has to get seventeen stitches.

And when newly selected Chancellor Palpatine starts calling the Temple asking to meet 'the young boy who helped his queen when she was in need' to thank him.

The first few times the Council politely refuses him, because Anakin said 'no', because the man didn't pass Ben’s vibe-check and Ben is always right when it comes to this kind of things. But when Palpatine begins to threaten them, they have no choice but to obey. They inform Anakin about it and he immediately walks into the meeting of the Council, Ben in tow.

He says "Fine, I'll go, but I choose the place and Master Windu comes with me." Mace is surprised, but agrees quickly. He won't let a child to meet an older man all alone.

That's how they all find themselves in the most luxurious and expensive restaurant in Coruscant. After greetings, Palpatine thanks Anakin and begins to question him about his life in the Temple, completely ignoring Mace. Anakin smiles, stands on his chair, pulls a data pad out of his pocket and begins to read aloud a lecture on consent and why it is important in all aspects of the life of a sentient being.

They attract looks, but Anakin doesn't stop until the end of the lecture. Then he bows, jumps down and eats his food like nothing happened. Palpatine is bright red, Mace is amused and low-key terrified and Anakin is happy to taste something new. He can't wait to tell Ben and his mum!

They get back to the Temple and Palpatine never bothers them again.

***

Ben finds out how exactly he lost his memory.

He punches Jinn in the face and then goes to yell at the Council.

He tears them a new one for their blatant disregard of the children's feelings and promptly makes himself the Head of the Crèche, taking Yoda's place.

And it changes things.

He teaches children hand to hand combat, advises them and helps them in general. He suggests certain Master-Padawan pairs and they are always successful. And he absolutely wipes the floor with Rael in the salles. He doesn't even use his new lightsaber much, just throws himself into the battle.

(And he bites. A lot.)

***

When Dooku hears about Ben, he gets back to the Temple as fast as he can.

Anakin takes one look at him and decides that he found Ben a perfect Master.

He doesn't take 'no' for the answer.

Dooku ends up having tea with Shmi and Ben four times a week.

A month later he agrees to train Ben.

***

Feemor literally flies into the room and stares at his lost baby brother.

Ben stares back.

And then they hug the live out of each other, because Ben does tHeRaPy and it helped recover his memories.

Anakin decided to adopt Feemor too.

And then tells the Council that Feemor is his Master. Feemor doesn't object.

***

Ten years later, Ben stares at the endless sea of identically looking men and wonders when exactly his life went to hell.

He blames Yoda.

He shoots down Fett's ship and locks him in one of the rooms, while neatly avoiding being bitten by Fett Junior.

He catches one of the clones and asks him to keep an eye on Fetts and goes to search the place. He can feel that's something is very very wrong here. Well, besides this all decommissioning banthashit.

Two hours of search, one confused ARC trooper CC-2224 later and Ben glares at the mind-controlling chip in his hand. The poor trooper stares at it in horror and swears up and down that he didn't know what it was inside him.

Ben pats his shoulder in reassurance. He has a feeling they'll be seeing each other a lot.

***

Deciphering the commands on the chip leads them to the summer house of the former Chancellor Palpatine. He didn't hold that position for long, there were too many nasty rumors that he was forcing children to do strange things.

Shadows confirm that he is, indeed, a Sith Lord. The Council starts to argue what to do about it.

Anakin and Ben share a look.

They blow up the entire house with an ion cannon, making sure that only Palpatine was inside.

"Oh no," Ben deadpans, watching the fire, "our Chancellor. He's dead."

"The wiring must have been shitty. That is why it is necessary to check the entire system every six months." Anakin said instructively.

***

Anakin is the best man on Ben and Cody’s wedding.

Ben returns the favor a few months later.

***

Clones settle all over the Galaxy, after their accelerated aging was cured. They fight slavers and start families.

Everyone is happy.

***

And deep down in the hell, Palpatine curses Kebobi with all his strength.