Oh My God...

secret moments in a crowded room...

RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE (2023) HEARTSTOPPER (2022—) YOUNG ROYALS (2021—)

I have seen that post about Maedhros being found in Moria by the Fellowship after being woken up by the longest unvoluntary nap ever. And yes, I know "Archaeology", anfic on a similar premise.

But today I wouldlike to linger on the comedic aspects of "the Fellowship expected a Balrog to come, but instead First Era Maedhros Feanorian appeared, albeit slightly charred, and now the Fellowship is adding a 10th member to the Fellowship".

For the sake of story I am still gonna say that Gandalf fell down the bridge, because ACTUALLY there was a Balrog.

Anyway the Fellowship minus Gandalf and plus Maedhros waltz in Lothlorien giving Galadriel a whole new range of emotions.

"I WAS EXPECTING GANDALF YOU ALL HAVE BROUGHT BACK A WAR CRIMINAL FROM AN ERA BYGONE AND ALSO MY COUSIN THRICE REMOVED."

Maedhros picking up IMMEDIATELY on the effect that the Ring is having on everyone and having a heart-to-heart with everyone and explaining the whole Silmarillion ordeal.

"Yikes." Everyone nods in agreement to the sentiment epressed by the Hobbits.

As an extra layer Mae asks if they are bound by any oath. "No, Elrond was quite insisting that we would NOT swear ANY oath."

Cue Mae crying.

Somehow Sam clicks immediately with Maedhros and when Frodo leaves the Fellowship Sam is already there all geared up for literal war and with all advice and tips on how to effectively kill orcs.

Somehow Merry and Pippin manage to make Mae smile. Their next mission is to make him laugh.

This reminds him of the Ambarussa. Mae cries again.

Gollum will underestimate that and it will be his doom.

"No Mr.Frodo, Sir Maedhros explained to us very clearly what happens with cursed artifacts, we are leaving Gollum here. Sir Maedhros was so kind, he explained to me everything I need to know."

Boromir lives, because killing Orcs turns out way easier with someone who can instill in them the very fear of the Valar.

Saruman has an incredibly short span.

"Oh? A palantir? My father's invention? Here? Yeah, I am gonna take that."

Somehow everything is a little easier?

Gimli crying because somehow he heard (ancient) Khuzdul from an Elf and now Maedhros has to understand since when Dwarves and Elves do not get along.

The company coming back to Imladris and causing Elrond to break down crying uncontrollably and in a very undignified manner.

"Lindir" hears the cries and when he sees Mae he's crying as well. It is revealed that "Lindir" is actually Maglor.

When the last ship sails for Valinor, the Valar grant M&M to come back due to repentance and various services in aid to destroying the Ring.

Galadriel is still not over the fact that MAEDHROS FEANORIAN was in Lothlorien and she could not even slap him.

At least in Valinor M&M can now hug mama Nerdanel and stay with her. Eventually all brothers will be reimbodied.

Thoughts? Comments? Prayers? Silmarils?

Ask a historian, “What was mankind’s greatest invention?” Fire? The wheel? The sword? I would argue it’s history itself. History isn’t fact. It’s narrative, one carefully curated and shaped. Under the pen strokes of the right scribe, a villain becomes a hero, a lie becomes the truth.

-Gaal Dornick, Foundation

all right guys, let’s have a conversation about soulmates

because I’m a nerd who majored in ancient China and still can’t let it go

okay so we all know that wangxian invented romance, but let’s talk a bit more about the iconic dialogue in episode 25:

Lan Wangji: 你把我當成什麼人? / What kind of person do you take me for?

Wei Wuxian: 我曾經把你當做我畢生知己 / I had once thought that, in my lifetime, you would be the one who knew me.

Lan Wangji: 現在仍是 / I still am.

I’ve seen various translations of the phrase “畢生知己” as “lifelong confidante” or “soulmate,” and I’m always so torn because these are both fine translations but like, not quite there

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LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

Obi-Wan’s mindwipe didn't fail and he was sold away before Jinn was able to find him.

Years later, on Tatooine, Jinn meets Anakin Skywalker, who works part-time in Watto's store, because he wants to help his mother and older brother Ben.

Anankin takes one look at them and goes "Oh, you're finally here! I've been waiting for you all day. C'mon, dinner should be ready soon, mum will be upset if it goes cold."

Jinn and Padmé go all WTF but follow the kid since the sandstorm is coming and they don't have another option. Anakin spents the whole time asking Padmé questions and Jinn only manages to interrupt when they get close to the house.

Jinn: "How did you know we'll come?" Anakin just shrugs.

Anakin: "Ben told me. And he's almost always right." And then he yells something like "Beeeeen, that weird guy in robes is here!"

A head pops out of the house, looks them over and then Ben gestures for them to get inside, while chiding Anakin for his manners.

They have dinner during which Jinn just can't figure out why this Ben's presence bothers him so much. He's met Force-sensitive adults before, it's nothing new. But something is seriously off with this particular guy. Maybe it's his red hair and blue eyes, so painfully familiar...

Meanwhile, Padmé tells Shmi about their problem and she and Ben share a look.

Ben: "We've been saving money to buy tickets to Alderaan. It should be enough to get the parts you need."

And Padmé with her strong morals says "Oh, no, we cannot possibly take your money-" that's all she's able to get out before Ben raises his hand.

"I wasn't done." He says calmly and Jinn shivers at his tone. "We will give you money if you take us with you and compensate us upon the arrival to Coruscant, sans the money for the food and the like."

Padmé agrees, since it's a reasonable request, but Jinn frowns in disapproval.

Later that evening he tries to get a sample of Anakin’s blood to confirm his theory, but cannot get the boy alone. And Ben just stares at Jinn without saying anything until Jinn quietly retreats.

In the morning they get all the parts and fix the ship.

The whole week they spent traveling Jinn tries to get that sample. He fails each time. Ben seems to have an uncanny ability to appear out of thin air, and Jinn would have suspected that he was a trained Force-user, but he can't find enough evidence to prove that.

When they land and Padmé meets Palpatine, Ben goes stiff and steps in front of Anakin and Shmi, shielding them slightly. He smiles politely, but his gaze is sharp.

And just as Ben is about to take their stuff from C3PO Jinn is like "Oh, that's our speeder." Points at the Temple speeder and marches the family into it. "The Temple has the most modern medicine and the best healers, please let them examine you. This is the least I can do to thank you for your help." He claims, but in reality he just really wants to see if he's right about Anakin.

Ben and Shmi agree, since none of them ever been seen by a real doctor and Jedi Healers sound very good.

It all goes to shit when Ben's DNA matches with one Obi-Wan Kenobi, who's been missing for twelve years. The Council is in uproar and demands to see him right away.

Jinn, shocked and confused, stares at his long gone Padawan and wonders, while Master Windu asks Ben to tell them about himself.

Ben shrugs.

"Not much to tell. Woke up one day on a ship, been sold the next day, worked my ass off for several years then ran away and hid on Tatooine. Met Shmi and Ani, freed them and we've been living together ever since."

The Council is devastated by all of this and Mace tells Ben about his life in the Temple and offers him to stay, to help him recover his memories.

Jinn decides to chime in with "I think Skywalker is a Chosen One and I wanna train him."

He immediately gets a a very firm "No" from Ben. He has his arms crossed and glares at Jinn. "I don't care about all this properpcy stuff, Ani is just a kid. You lot have non-Jedi workers here?" Mace nods. "Wonderful, then we'll stay and Anakin can join the Initiates if that's what he wants and then he can decide if he wants to be a Jedi. Now, if you excuse me, I need to talk to my family, have a good day." He walks out, slamming the door behind him.

Every judgmental stare turns to Jinn.

He squirms.

***

Anakin joins Feraliios Clan. Ben works all around the Temple, fixing stuff and Shmi works in the kitchen, which improves the flavors significantly.

Jinn doesn't stop pestering Anakin about the properpcy until one day he gets fed up and bites Jinn in the forearm.

He has to get seventeen stitches.

And when newly selected Chancellor Palpatine starts calling the Temple asking to meet 'the young boy who helped his queen when she was in need' to thank him.

The first few times the Council politely refuses him, because Anakin said 'no', because the man didn't pass Ben’s vibe-check and Ben is always right when it comes to this kind of things. But when Palpatine begins to threaten them, they have no choice but to obey. They inform Anakin about it and he immediately walks into the meeting of the Council, Ben in tow.

He says "Fine, I'll go, but I choose the place and Master Windu comes with me." Mace is surprised, but agrees quickly. He won't let a child to meet an older man all alone.

That's how they all find themselves in the most luxurious and expensive restaurant in Coruscant. After greetings, Palpatine thanks Anakin and begins to question him about his life in the Temple, completely ignoring Mace. Anakin smiles, stands on his chair, pulls a data pad out of his pocket and begins to read aloud a lecture on consent and why it is important in all aspects of the life of a sentient being.

They attract looks, but Anakin doesn't stop until the end of the lecture. Then he bows, jumps down and eats his food like nothing happened. Palpatine is bright red, Mace is amused and low-key terrified and Anakin is happy to taste something new. He can't wait to tell Ben and his mum!

They get back to the Temple and Palpatine never bothers them again.

***

Ben finds out how exactly he lost his memory.

He punches Jinn in the face and then goes to yell at the Council.

He tears them a new one for their blatant disregard of the children's feelings and promptly makes himself the Head of the Crèche, taking Yoda's place.

And it changes things.

He teaches children hand to hand combat, advises them and helps them in general. He suggests certain Master-Padawan pairs and they are always successful. And he absolutely wipes the floor with Rael in the salles. He doesn't even use his new lightsaber much, just throws himself into the battle.

(And he bites. A lot.)

***

When Dooku hears about Ben, he gets back to the Temple as fast as he can.

Anakin takes one look at him and decides that he found Ben a perfect Master.

He doesn't take 'no' for the answer.

Dooku ends up having tea with Shmi and Ben four times a week.

A month later he agrees to train Ben.

***

Feemor literally flies into the room and stares at his lost baby brother.

Ben stares back.

And then they hug the live out of each other, because Ben does tHeRaPy and it helped recover his memories.

Anakin decided to adopt Feemor too.

And then tells the Council that Feemor is his Master. Feemor doesn't object.

***

Ten years later, Ben stares at the endless sea of identically looking men and wonders when exactly his life went to hell.

He blames Yoda.

He shoots down Fett's ship and locks him in one of the rooms, while neatly avoiding being bitten by Fett Junior.

He catches one of the clones and asks him to keep an eye on Fetts and goes to search the place. He can feel that's something is very very wrong here. Well, besides this all decommissioning banthashit.

Two hours of search, one confused ARC trooper CC-2224 later and Ben glares at the mind-controlling chip in his hand. The poor trooper stares at it in horror and swears up and down that he didn't know what it was inside him.

Ben pats his shoulder in reassurance. He has a feeling they'll be seeing each other a lot.

***

Deciphering the commands on the chip leads them to the summer house of the former Chancellor Palpatine. He didn't hold that position for long, there were too many nasty rumors that he was forcing children to do strange things.

Shadows confirm that he is, indeed, a Sith Lord. The Council starts to argue what to do about it.

Anakin and Ben share a look.

They blow up the entire house with an ion cannon, making sure that only Palpatine was inside.

"Oh no," Ben deadpans, watching the fire, "our Chancellor. He's dead."

"The wiring must have been shitty. That is why it is necessary to check the entire system every six months." Anakin said instructively.

***

Anakin is the best man on Ben and Cody’s wedding.

Ben returns the favor a few months later.

***

Clones settle all over the Galaxy, after their accelerated aging was cured. They fight slavers and start families.

Everyone is happy.

***

And deep down in the hell, Palpatine curses Kebobi with all his strength.

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

iwtv casting is driving me crazy it’s like they collected the world’s most devastating prettyboys and put them in a toxic vampire polycule spanning several centuries and then the actors took that and made it their personal mission to absorb these gay vampires into their bloodstream to the point that actual news outlets are joking about sam reid’s body being used as a vessel by lestat de lioncourt. you simply don’t get this anywhere else

for @kinnporscheweek day 5 favorite bromance - peteporsche

[x]

louis + armand: two slow dancers