Thanks For The Tag @ros3chu

Got a another fanfic question my dudes 😂

Help pleeeeeeaaaassseee

do you see it

We’re camo cargos and my notes hoodie while listening to notes on walks with my bf always just hits different man

Also getting the middle one as a matching one with a friend of mine and I’m so excited ❤️

Hey guys it’s me ,

I hope everyone who has been reading Heart Out has been having a lovely time reading it and enjoys it, I’m really struggling with the next chapter it just doesn’t seem to be flowing , I know I send out a couple a week, but I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be getting one out this week. I’m so sorry if your waiting BUT what I can do for you while you wait is do some BLURBS OR IDEAS that you all may have , if you do have anything you’d like me to hash out or give blurbs for let me know and I’ll get them written for you.

IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE ALL GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE AND ITS SOOOO APPRECIATED ❤️❤️

Thank you again

Dylan 💥

Chapter 26

Word count 2208

I think the only mentions for this one is maybe mentions of depression or inclination of it

THIS ONE IS WRITTEN FROM ROSS’ POV, AND I DONT KNOW HOW ITS GOING TO BE SO IF ITS BAD IM SORRY , I DONT RELALY KNOW ROSS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT

Feedback is always welcome 🥰

Also thank you so much to all of you who are taking time out of your day to read this (I know there’s so many better fanfics out there , better written and all but ) I’m so thankful for those who are reading it

I also do blurbs as well if anyone has any ideas they might want to get to me

I feel like this might be a little trickier for me to write as I've never written anything from Ross'POV before so if this is terrible I'm so sorry .

Ross' POV

"What are we gunna do with you huh ?"

I felt Matty slightly shrug at my question as I slowly wrack my hands through his hair being careful but he still shock his head a little "please don't....it hurts" , he was shivering

"Are you cold?" , I felt him shake his head again at my question. "Do you need water?", again another shake if his head. This is going to be a long night. "What do you need mate?"

"George ...George doesn't...He was gunna call me tonight.can you...can you tell him that I might not be"

"Tell him on what" , I pull my phone out of my pocket being careful enough to try and not disturb Matty who was still resting on my lap

"Add his insta , bedforddanes75, just send him a message", so that I do , I add George but instead of waiting for the add back I send him a message straight away

Ross : Hey if this is the correct George , I'm Ross , Mattys best mate, I know you and Matty were supposed to call tonight but Matty isn't having the best of nights so he's with me , if you need anything please just gimme a shout and I'll see what I can do 😌

I then place my phone on the table beside me and turn my attention straight back to Matty "When was the last time you had a proper meal Matty ?", I'm scared to actually find out the answer at this point , I never realised how thin hed gotten until I was picking him up. He's so light

"Proper meal um .....I don't really know...I snack on stuff occasionally but ..I uh... I don't remember the last full meal I had"

"Right , I'm going to get you some food and water okay, can you stay ere for me?", I felt him shrug again against my leg. "What you trying to say mate?"

"Nothing, just not hungry but alright", I slowly removed him from my legs and tried to tuck him into the bed properly and made sure he was comfy enough. I snag my phone from the table beside him and give him a small peck on his temple "I love you mate"

"You too Rosso" ,

"Just shout if you need me okay"

"Mhm"

I make my way from the my room and quickly through to my mums just checking that there alright "you alright mum".

"I'm alright love, how's Matty doing?" , I slip into the room and close the door leaning against it. "I honestly have no idea at this point Mum"

"What's up with him like love?"

I scratch the back of my head really debating telling my mum about everything because I know she'll tell Denise but I've gotten to the point where I can't keep it together anymore and someone needs to tell Denise and Matty will never do it, so I slide down the door sat down next to it, something I've done since I was young always just sat at the door while I need to tell her something "He's on stuff Mum , like really deep in them and, I don't know if he knows how to stop, he was just messing around to begin with but it's gotten really bad, and it's not my place to tell Denise or Tim but someone needs to and I know he never will and I don't know how to help him anymore Mum but he really needs help."

"What stuff do you mean love, what's he taken"

"I don't know to the full extent because, I don't know how honest he is sometimes when it comes to it but, uh I think he's on coke and drinks a lot too, and weed , I mean I know I smoke weed but like all of it all the time it's just getting to much for him", I know I should trust him in what he tells me but he's just been so off lately and it's so difficult and everyone including himself is suffering and I just need to help him.

"And what do you mean by it just started off as messing around?, you haven't taken anything have you?"

"No I haven't myself , but I do know that uh Janey and Matty used to do stuff when they were just at parties and stuff but I never realised how bad it got for him, he never did it around anyone other than Janey or Corey I think"

"Do I know Corey?", my mum was sat up now on her phone probably about to contact Denise, because that's what mums do isn't it.

"No, I don't really know Corey myself he's a bit older than us but Matty met him at a party"

"Right , thank you my love, is there anything else that Denise would need to know?, anything else really?"

"I think she probably knows but he's really struggling at school , just having panic attacks all the time over the smallest things , but I think she knows that" , I rise up from my spot on the floor and quickly say goodbye to her as I feel like that might be the end of the conversation. Then make my way to the kitchen to make some food for him. Just some eggs on toast , protein might help. As well as a glass of water I make some tea for us both as well it'll calm him down. It takes about ten minutes to get everything ready. I load everything onto a tray and make my way back up to him, when I reach my room the first thing I notice is that Matty is somewhat quiet even in this state.

"Matty" , I push the door open and what I'm faced with is Matty fast asleep in my bed curled up into the blanket still fully clothed. I play the tray on the table next to my bed and just take myself over to the bed and sit next to him. I take out my phone again and see that I have a pending request and message from George.

George : oh hey Ross, thanks for telling me, what happened?

Ross: I don't really know what happened I didn't get the whole story, everything just kind of took a turn for the worst tonight.

George : what do you mean?? Is he okay? , is he awake can I see him?????

Ross: he's alright for now, he's asleep right now and I don't really want to wake him, I don't think he's stable right now

George: when he wakes up can you tell him I'm asking for him yeh ??

Ross: sure thing bro honestly , can I let you in on a little secret ??

George : sure

Ross: I think your gunna be really good for him , he ain't shut up about ya really and uh I think he really likes ya, but please don't hurt him

George : I'd never plan on hurting him, he’s really managed to crawl his way into my brain, I just hope he’s okay

Ross : I’ll keep an eye on him and keep you updated G

I place my phone back into my bedside table and carefully lay down properly and turn my tv on, putting on Simpson a just for background noise while I hold Matty through his tough time and just cradle his body on my arms occasionally telling him everything will be okay

After about another half an hour I can feel him storing in my arms so I release my grip a tiny bit “hey there you muppet”, He doesn’t move much but wraps his arms around me squeezing a little “are you okay?”

“My ead hurts Ross, like real bad”, he buries his head in the crook of my neck trying to hide from the light a little bit.

“Matty?”

“Mhm”

“What happened?, like really ?, can you be honest?” , as he’s leaning against me I can feel a tiny tremor coursing through his body

“I don’t think I can”

“Can’t what ?, tell me?”

“I don’t know what happened Ross I swear, I was fine then I wasn’t, that’s all there is too it”

“Can you at least tell me why you needed to do any of that stuff Matty?, like why did you feel the need to go out and get high again?”

“Everything is just so loud in my head, it’s like grey and cloudy , I see everything in greyscale basically, and I wanted to stop it like even for just a second, like you know when you wake up and like you can hear the birds chirping away and someone is cutting the grass down the road and there’s like sounds from people being busy round the house and it can be quite irritating when your trying to sleep well it’s like that in my head all the time, I can just hear everything, every annoying noise , everything buzzes or ticks , the static in the tv, the electricity running through everything and it’s annoys me so much makes it hard to concentrate and I just wanted to shut it up” , I can feel my shoulder start to get a little wet, indicating that Matty is crying again so I bring my arms around him properly again and hold him. “I just feel lost man….like everything is pushing me closer and closer to the edge everyday….some days I can cope with it ….but other days It just won’t go away”.

“But is nearly killing yourself the answer Matty!?”, I can’t imagine a world where Matty wasn’t in it, We’ve already lost one members of our little clique I don’t know if I’d cope with Matty gone too.

“I’m not gunna die Ross, I’ll be fine, I just don’t know how to deal with it sometimes, this is the only way I know” , Matty let’s go off me now, sits up and wipes his eyes harshly with the sleeve of his jacket. “I just want to feel like I’m not losing my mind”.

“Why can’t you tell people when things get to hard for you” , I adjust myself so I’m sat cross legged on the bed next to him looking at him, searching for any sign , literally anything that might tell me how he’s feeling.

“I try Rosso , but I just…I don’t know, I just feel like if I tell people they’ll try to stop me from doing what I need to do to feel better….and it’ll just make it worse” , Matty mirrors me my actions sat cross legged also but flings his jacket off and placed it in the space between us. “I’m so angry or upset all the time and I hate it , I just wanna be me again”

“You are you, you’ll always be Matty no matter how your feeling , your allowed to be angry , upset , stressed, but you don’t have to destroy yourself Mate, I know your finding stuff hard and I hate having to watch you go through it but I need you to know that your my best mate like ever and I can’t lose you” , we’re both crying now, I rarley cry but when it comes to serious stuff it makes me emotional and I know I’m going to lose it if this keeps happening. “You got some tea and food there can you try have some for me”

“Mhm”, I know he’s not going to have much of it and it’s gone cold but I need to see him eat even if it’s just for my own selfish reasons for my own peice of mind you know, he picks up the tray and starts picking away at the bread. “Ross ?”

“Yeh man”

“Did you tell George?, like what happened”

“No , I didn’t tell him what happened , you should do that , I just told him your having a bad night, and he was asking for you though , he seems like a good egg”

“He so is, would you mind if we called, he might cheer me up a little” , as he’s sipping on his tea I can tell that he’s still a little bit bouncy and I don’t know how to describe it maybe like scared , anxious is the word. “I mean not that your not doing a good job but like, I’d like for you to meet him too”

“Sure you can, but I need you to do one thing for me” , I want him to tell his mum what’s going on like fully , so we can all work on it together , help him through this bump in the road, get him the help he might need and we can get out Matty back.

“Yeh”

“Can you please tell your mum that your um ….I don’t know the word like … struggling with drugs”, he notice him out of the corner of my eye put his toast down as I say it. “Like I know it’ll be hard but she’s been where you are ….she might be a little better help than me and she’ll have better advice than me”

“Okay, but later okay”

I don’t know if anyone knows the lyrics to this song but the chorus and bridge are just everything , and it gave me such a good idea for a one shot or miniseries tha G has a really terrible girlfriend and confides in Matty all the time (young them btw again ), and one night Matty just let his feeling slip for G and they end up doing stuff and then Gs gf finds out and then the lyrics from the chorus is what he said

“t's not my fault

You know what's done is done

She wanted me, let it be

We were still so young

Wish I could say that "Sorry, I'm wrong"

But it's not my fault that you got cheated on”

i just had an a wild thought , I lied , the first band that got me to wanna be a band apparently wasn’t t75 , it was The Kaiser Chiefs THEN t75 😂🤦😂🤦😂

https://href.li/?https://x.com/balladofmonica/status/1715597227454861632?s=46&t=v1791RkgLUh7Mscc9miDfg

I MEAN I UNDERSTAND THE PREMISE AND IT MAKES SOOOO MUCH SENSE BUT I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD THAT DIAGNOSED TOO THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ADHD

Again tho I understand the Premise