-:“I’ve Had A Really Rough Day And I Need You To Make It Better” Soft Prompts-:

I wanna use these For Matty and G prompts so please go ahead pick some and I’ll see what I can get written (I’ll post a few more of these )

cozy and content -prompts for your otp cuddling in bed

prompt list by @novelbear

drawing circles and patterns on their chest

humming/singing their partner to sleep

carefully trying to turn the lamp on the nightstand off without letting go of their partner in their arms

"what's wrong?" "your feet are cold!"

playing with their hair

laying their head on their lover's shoulder, one arm lazily wrapped around their torso and a leg over theirs

taking innocent peeks at their partner's phone every once in a while they're scrolling

"your hair smells nice..."

smiling as they feel their partner lay a firm kiss on the top of their head

"did we fall asleep?" "i think we did.."

not being able to be calm for five minutes as tickle matches ensue

sneaking photos of each other because they're just too cute

laughing when one drops their phone on their face

"we should really get up." "we should....but we won't."

feeding them fruits/other snacks they have

absentmindedly playing with the other's fingers

melting because they just look so cute all bundled up in blankets

^ like i mean they're all curled up and look small, covered up so much that all they can see are big eyes peeking out and innocently blinking at them from the blanket. how do you want them to keep a straight face.

feeling little kisses being placed on their neck, chest, or chin from time to time.

"did you just wash these sheets?" "i did." "they smell nice. and they're still warm."

holding them as if they're protecting the other from the world as they're snuggled up at their side.

Heart out Chapter 35

Warnings : , smut , talking about adhd, edging , sub!Matty . dom!George , sweetness , mention of injury and alcohol

This chapter is cute there’s a lot of George and Matty , Matty and Louis brotherly love , George bonds with Louis too and it’s so fluffy in parts

8k words

George’s POV

I woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the curtains, and the house rumbling with life. I rubbed my eyes as I adjusted to the light. I heard a slight groan come from the corner of the room and it was at this moment I realised Matty wasn't beside me and his side of the bed was cold indicating he had left a while ago

"Mattee?", as I sat up , I noticed Matty was in the corner huddled over his desk legs criss-crossed together on the chair, his left hand was wracking through his hair pulling it quite hard and in his right hand was a pen and a cig. "Matty you okay!" , I spoke a bit louder this time so he could hear me , It was slightly stifled by a yawn though

Matty span round on his chair and made eye contact with me, "good morning sleepy-head , how did you sleep?" , he dropped his pen on the table , and took a long drag of his cig.

"I slept great , what time is it?" , as I woke up a little more I noticed that he was dressed and looked like he'd showered.

"It's 9 darling , still fairly early, you can go back to sleep if your still tired" , he span back around to his desk and continued on with what it was he was doing.

"When did you wake up?", I flipped his cover off of my legs , swung them over the side of the bed, made my way over to him and flung my arms around him. "Come back to bed love"

He melted into my hug , "I woke up at 6, I wasn't feeling to great , I tried to get back to sleep for like an hour but it just didn't happen , so I thought a shower would help me feel better then decided to get on with some studying while you slept", he motioned toward the maths revision in-front of him. "But I'm just irritating myself doing this" .

I pulled him even closer to me as much as I could considering the chair being in the way and kissed his temple burying my head in his neck, "what's wrong my love, why aren't you feeling good?"

I felt him shrug as I held him. "Just a bit jittery I think, and my stomach is falling out arse for some reason"

"Are you anxious about something ?!"

He looked up at me then after pushing his revision sheets out of the way. "I think I'm just shittin it for my GCSEs , like I don't even want to do them anymore, what's the point", he went to pick up the revision papers again "like look at this what the fuck does this even mean, I've been studying this for three years and I'm still none the fuckin wiser..."

"Matty it's okay, let's lay down for a bit okay, just talk for a bit tell me what's going on in your head", I took his hand and helped him spin the chair round and led him back to the bed. "lie your head on my chest and just listen to my heart, it'll calm you down"

We laid down, myself against the headboard and Matty on my chest, I pulled him close to me and played with his hair at the nape of his neck. " Tell me what you need, what will  calm you down?"

"Seriously , I just don't wanna do my GCSE's anymore darlin". His hair was tickling the bottom of my chin as he was slightly shaking his head and his grip on me grew tighter. "I'm just terrified that I'm going to fail, and studying is supposed to help but it's doing the opposite it's messing with me head", his breath starts coming out hallowed and deep like he's trying to hold of from crying. "I just can't do it George"

"Baby...can you look at me for a second?", I placed my fingers under his chin to guide his face to look at me then swiped my thumb over his cheek to catch the slowly falling falling tears. "I promise everything will work out okay?, Would you like my help?, we can have a J and then bring your paper over to me and I'll help you through it , does that sound okay?"

He sniffles and wiped his face over with the sleeve of his hoodie, "are you sure, I don't want you to be bored"

"I wanna help you love , I don't want you to be upset about it" . I leaned over him to pick up my cigarettes from the bedside table that I had left there last night and pulled out a joint each from the packet "Here take this", I handed Matty one and leaned back over to grab my lighter , the joint was between his lips, I went to go light it for him but his hand came up and stopped me

"Gotta climb up on the windowsill and smoke out the window darlin" , I came out mumbled with the joint still in his mouth but I picked up what he said. I let Matty get up and climbed up into the windowsill and pulled him up carefully. He was situated between my legs with his back on my chest just like last night , the window was already open. So I flicked the flint to spark the flame and watched as Matty took a drag to ignight the ember. And did the same for mine. "Let this relax you yeh?, did you have any plans for today ey ?"

He relaxed back into the me properly as he lets the weed flow through him, "Eh , I think we might be going to Ross' tonight for drinks , end of year drinks you know , but don't tell my mum that it's drinks she won't be happy"

"Is that really a good idea though if your not feeling great ?," I took a drag of my joint as Matty exhaled and rolled his head onto my shoulder looking at me like I just said to most outrageous thing ever. "What !".

"I'll be fine by then and besides if I do ,it might help, might just , I don't know might clear my head, joints just make my body relax but alcohol will clear my head you know?"

"We'll then , if we go can you promise that we'll eat before we go, so you don't get sick, and if you need to go tell me , if you do feel like your gunna get sick let me know okay?"

"Okay", as we finished our joints we flick the ends out the window and Matty straddles my lap facing me. "George ?"

"Yeh love?", my hands find his waist playing with the pattern of the joggers.

"Why am I like this?"

"Like what , love?" , Matty hugs himself to me as he finds the right words to say, I can feel his tears dripping onto my skin when he began to cry again

"Just emotional all the time , if I'm not angry, all I wanna do is cry or I'm panicking and anxious about stuff, I'm only ever happy when your there, how insane is that , I can't even make myself happy"

"It's difficult sometimes to regulate moods you know, and having all the diagnosis that you have it's going to be even harder for you to regulate yours, and that's why you need meds to help it, and I'll do my best too, you know that right?" , I slide my fingers through his hair twirling the strands through my fingers and tugging ever so gently.

"I don't want to have to rely on medication George, I just wanna be normal, I wanna fell like other people, just safe in there head and just I don't know , good", as I'm tugging on his hair I can hear him sigh against me, his breath hot against my chest. "Baby...."

"You are normal Matty , you're your normal , I wouldn't have you any other way", I stop tugging his hair and lift his chin up with a finger curled under it "yeh?"

Matty take my other hand that's not under his chin and puts it back to his hair, "I like it when you do that"

"Like it when I do what", I asked playing innocent because I knew what he meant.

"I like it when you play with my hair darlin, maybe a bit too much" , he leans forward and connects our lips together both of my hands end up in his hair light scratching his scalp with one and pulling his hair with the other and I swallow his moans in my mouth. "Darlin...I can't be giving the neighbours a show right now". As we pull away from each other I pull his curtain closed part way so we're out of sight.

"Is that better love?", Matty nodded and leaned back in for another kiss being more forceful this time, not in a bad way , just more passionate. He grinded himself against me and we both moaned into each others mouths again, Matty's lips then trailed down to my neck nipping on the sweep spot. My hands found his waist again tugging on the bottom of his hoodie asking for permission to take it off "Go ahead Darlin". I pulled it over his head gently as he pulled away a little bit and I threw it on the floor.

"What do you wanna do Matty?", my hands trailed up and down his chest slowly, taking in everything, every freckle and mole, watching how his breath hitches everytime my hands slide lower. "Tell me love".

"I just need you to touch me Darlin, I don't mind how, I just need you" , his cheeks where pink with blush and his chocolate brown eyes had blown wide.

My right hand slipped down his chest past his stomach and pulled at the front of his jogger as I slipped into his trousers slowly starting to pump him as my left hand tangled itself back in his hair. "Like this love", both hands where he liked them, I swiped my thumb over the head of his dick and I continued to jerk him off, he rolled his head forward as it connected with my shoulder.

"Yeh...just like that darlin...thank you", I could feel him thrust into my hand as I pumped him faster. "Arghh...that feels so fuckin good". I pulled him back up to kiss me as I continued my movement, I slipped my tongue in his mouth tasting the cigarettes and weed that we'd just smoked. His thrusting got faster and but more relaxed and he grunted into my mouth the sound sending arousal right through me. "Darlin...can you..can you give me ...head ...please", the sentence punctuated with gasps every time he thrusted forward.

"Anything for you handsome, but you have to stay quiet okay don't want anyone to hear , yeh ?" , Matty nodded but I stopped the movement of my hand. "I need you to say it love"

"I will, I'll be quiet I promise , just please, I just need it, It'll help, I just need you to shut my brain up", An idea popped into my head just then not really sure if it'll work , I've heard this kind of stuff helps others just lose themselves so , I just tell myself we can try it but if he doesn't want it I'll stop.

"Love ?, can we try something , something I've heard that helps others ?"

"Okay , what is it ?"

"It's a surprise, just let me know if you need to stop , and tell me when you need to cum , can you do that"

"Yes ,yes , I can", he nodded enthusiastically at me .

"Jump down then , on the bed , strip down , but don't even think about touching yourself okay", as he jumped down from the windowsill I could see him watching me with a slight glint in his eye.

"What happens if I do touch myself" , I couldn't help the way my head just snapped up to look at him and the way my dick twitched in my trousers.

"Don't , or I'll have to stop you some other way" , that sounded strange coming from my own mouth but I've gotta play the part right and it's what he needs right now. I watched Matty strip down to his boxers from the windowsill. "And the rest" , he removed his boxers to and his dick sprang back against his stomach and I just sat in awe for a minute before I snapped back to myself. "Your so gorgeous Matty , standing there all pretty for me, but I need you to lie down" , and so he does , he lays down on the bed just waiting for me. I slipped down from the windowsill and skulked to the end of the bed just watching him.

"What now Darlin?", At that I set myself on the bed my knees either side of Matty's and my hands started roaming his body.

"Right I've got some rules now okay, first of all , if you get uncomfortable or want to stop, tell me straight away please , don't cum until I say or you'll be punished , stay quiet for me , if I say something please follow the instructions and lastly if I ask you a question you have to answer with your words , can you do that for me love?", Matty nodded with a shit-eating grin on his face already trying to be a little brat

"What did I just say Matty?"

"To answer you if you spoke" , my hand trailed down his body again and took hold of his dick again and I pumped him slowly a couple of times

"So , I'll try again, can you do that for me"

"Yes....yes....I can do that", Matty groaned as my hand got faster and his back arched off the bed. I leaned forward and kissed him passionately on the lips exploring the inside of his mouth with my tongue, I stopped my hand for a second, every so often just jerking him off and stopping, teasing him slightly. "George please don't tease ....I swear...I can't"

"Oh, I haven't even started yet my love", I kissed down his body , from his neck, across his shoulder occasionally leaving bruises , over to his chest, Matty was squirming under me, I eventually made my way down to his dick and licked at the head, it was bright red at this point.

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"George ...George ....Darlin I can't....I can't do it anymore.....please" , we'd been at it for mostly ten minutes, I'd been edging him for a while now, getting him right to the edge of his climax and then stopping whatever it was I was doing to him.

"Do you want me to stop??", I asked around his dick as my mouth was still around it, my hands where running up his thighs that were now trembling.

"No....No...please don't stop....I'll actually die if you stop now....I need to cum now George....I don't think I can control it anymore....I have too" , his dick was twitching in my mouth , his legs trembling , mouth agape , knuckles white from how tightly he was holding onto the sheets. "George seriously please ....I'm gunna cum now...I can't stop it anymore"

I kissed back up his body continuing to leave hickeys and when I got to his face I whispered into his ear. "You can let go now handsome" , My hands found his dick one last time as my lips connected with his again, and just like a snap of an elastic band he came all over his stomach , white ropes all over the place and he moaned into his mouth. "That's it handsome , we'll done"

He lay there just staring at the ceiling when I sat back on my knees, "thank you, thank you , thank you , that helped a lot ...wow", I got up to go get something to clean him up but I felt his hand wrap around my wrist. "Don't leave yet please".

"I need to clean you up love" , although I know he needed to be cleaned up beofre it dried , those puppy dog eyes he was presenting to me right now, made it so hard not to just stay there. "I'll be right back sweetheart I promise"

"Promise?" , the grip that he had on my wrist wasn't that tight and he seemed a little hazy and just dropped it. I kissed his head and tried to fix his hair so it wasn't plastered on his forehead.

"I promise love", I quickly got a wash cloth and a glass of water for him and made my way back placing myself back onto the bed next to him. "Come ere sweetheart , can you drink this for me", I gave him the glass but his body still wasn't cooperating so I helped him sit up against the headboard placing some pillows behind him and helped him hold the glass as he took a drink. "There you go", once I'd placed it back down on the dressing table , I took the wash cloth and cleaned up his stomach . "Where will I put it"

"Just .....just eh...just drop it for now", so I did I just dropped it on the ground but on top of the shirt that he'd discarded ealier so it wasn't directly getting the floor wet, once I'd turned back to him Matty had his arms outstretched for me.

"Do you need a hug love?"

"Yeh , please darlin, I need to be close to you, know your still here" , I layed down next to him and pulled his body right over next to me and wrapped my arms around him tightly. Letting him rest his head on my chest.

"Where am I gunna go love, I'm gunna be here for as long as you need me to be sweetheart, How are you feeling now , how's your head"

"I don't have a single thought up there right now , other than you and that I'm hungry" , I pulled him infinitely closer to me if that was even possible

"Do want me to go make you something" , I feel him shake his head against me and mumble a quiet

"not yet , want to stay here for a while, I think I need to tell you something"

"What is it ?", my hand found his chin again and got him to look at me so I could see his eyes.

"I'm scared , for like when you have to go home, I won't be able to just feel better when I'm feeling how I was if your not here", he stopped talking to look at me properly, as I furrow my eyes brows "sorry that's stupid"

"No , no Matty , I understand what you mean , but even when I'm not here, I'm still going to try to help you the best I can"

"I know, Im sorry, I just feel like it's going to be a-lot harder to do it but , I'm glad I have you, I think I might love you"

I paused for a second as I heard the words leave his mouth , a did he his eyes grew wide as he also realised. "Matty , my love , I love you too"

Just at that we heard a knock on the door "Matthew are you boys decent" , Shit that's Tim we both scramble to get under the covers before Matty calls him in. He does come in tentatively blocking his eyes as well

"Dad it's fine where covered up, what do you need"

"Your Mum and I are on our way out and Loiue doesn't want to come with us so would you boys be able to look after him for an hour or so , you don't have any plans do you ?" , we both agreed in unison and said that it was all good we didn't have anything to do til later. He took a small look around the room , smiled and thanked us before he left.

"We should get dressed then handsome , come on, I'll help you if you need" , Matty nodded but neither of us made any attempt to move for at least another five minutes. He got up and pulled his boxers back on, and I crawled over the bed "hand me your jumper gorgeus" , He handed it over to me before pulling his joggers back on. "Arms up", I slid the jumper over his head and booped him on the nose . "You can pick my outfit out if you like".

This causes Matty to squeal and clap his hands in excitement "yes I'd love to", he runs over to my suitcase pulling out some clean boxers and a pair of blue Tommy Hilfiger jeans, a black t-shirt, placed them on the bed and then goes to the chair that had his jumpers on and picked up the blue Nike jumper that he'd given me "there I think this will work, anything would work on your really but here, I'm going to go downstairs say goodbye Mum and Dad , make us all some breakfast and I'll let you shower" , I kissed him one more time before we parted ways.

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Matty's POV

I gave George a towel before I went down , he should be in the shower now though , my Mum and Dad where getting there coats on getting ready to leave so I ran over to them and gave them a quick hug goodbye. My mum reminded my that if where inside that to try not smoke when Louis is around but we can take him to the park or we can have a smoke if we go outside so long as one of us is inside just the usual that she always says. I let her know that it's all going to be fine and she needs to worry less but just before they leave my dad reminds me to take my meds which to be honest had forgotten but I'll take them after breakfast. After they'd left I'd decide to make some beans on toast for everyone just as I'm doing that Loiue comes running into the kitchen already dressed carrying a million different toys in his arms "Maffu , you and George can play wif me today right since. Mummy and Daddy are busy?, right!", I turn around from the oven just in time because as I do I watch him drop all the toys onto the floor without a care in the world "I have all these toys to play wif"

"Kid you have to be careful with those , don't wanna break them do we", I walk over to him and lift him up so he's sat on my hips with his arms around my neck. "Do you want to sit down at the breakfast bar and watch Maffu make breakfast then when George is finished in the shower you can show him all your cool toys and we can have breakfast" , he nods at the as I place him down on a still at the breakfast bar. "Be careful remember"

"I remember, you fell off of this one time didn't you"

"When did that happen kid ?", I had fallen off the stools a month or so ago I'd had a few friends over and I had gotten pretty drunk and we were messing about and I leaned to far back and split the front of my head open but , I didn't think he knew about that.

"When you hurt your head , Rosso was here too and big boys and girls and I came down to see if Mummy was down here and I saw you fall off it" , I turned off the stove because I needed to check the he was okay , I would have done it sooner if I knew but now I just feel like an ass , my 7 year old brother shouldn't have had to have seen that. So I went over and sat next to him and played with his hair

"Was it you that got Daddy to help me ?"

"Yeh , Rosso was trying to get you up but you didn't get up , so I went to find Mummy and Daddy , Daddy woke up first and I told him that you where hurt, but Daddy said that I had to go back to bed and I fink he went to help you, I remember that Mummy woke up too cuz there was an ambulance too"

"What brave boy you are for getting dad , we're you scared" , he looked up at me now and he nodded and that's when I pulled him into a hug

"I'm always kind of scared Maffu, your the bestest brother in the whole wide world, and when you get upset or angry I get scared cuz that's when you end up hurt and I don't like that", I couldn't believe what I was hearing this kid is honestly too grown up for his own good and I hate that he understands how I feel because he's only little and shouldn't have to understand. "Like when JayJay went away, you went away too, you were never in the house for ages and I missed you a lot , and then you started getting sick all the time and I'm scared that your gunna go away to like JayJay did"

"Lou , I need you to listen to me very carefully okay, can you look at me for a second" , I loosen my grip on him so he can look up at me with his big hazel eyes. "I promise you that I'm always gunna be here okay , I'm always going to be your big brother, I love you most in the world and when I'm home you know I've got you , right. But I need you not to be scared, not to be worried about me. I know I get angry and I get sad sometimes but I'm doing my best to get better so I don't hurt anymore".

"Can I ask you a question ?"

"You can ask me anything Kiddo" , I pulled him back in for another hug because I just can't bare the fact that I'm the reason he's scared and It's just killing me knowing that if I can't get better for myself I need to get better for him.

"Why are you so sad all the time?, is it cuz JayJay is gone?"

"Thats part of it I guess but there's loss of reasons, sometimes my head just gets to messy sometimes and I can't make it feel good for a while" , I can hear George making his way down the stairs and as I'm holding Louis on my knee I can finally see George leaning against the wall that leads into the kitchen he mouths a quick "everything okay?" , cuz we must look a state, I know I was crying again and Louis wasn't far off. So I shook my head , not really.

"And is that why you get sick" , his little hands come up to him face holding it so where looking at each other. "Do you think maybe I could try to make your head not messy anymore cuz I don't like it when your sick and I just wanna make you better"

"You do help me kiddo , so does Mummy and Daddy and Georgie and Rosso and Jamie and JayJay helped"

"You was sad even when JayJay was around ?, Isn't she your best friend" , God bless him , I know he doesn't understand death very well but it's a times like these I really wish he did understand because then I wouldn't have to have these conversations.

"Yeh even when JayJay was here I was sad sometimes, Maffu just has something wired differently in his brain to some other people but we're fixing it and everyone is doing a great job , but you'll never guess who's here ready to play", I point behind him to George's who's still leaning against the door panel but has his arms wide open because I'm sure he can anticipate that Louie is going to run straight for him.

"Georgie , Hiiiii, come see all my cool toys", Lou climbs careful down from the stool and boulders right into George's leg hugging him tightly then grabs his hand leading him over to his pile of toys on the floor. This gives me a minute to collect myself and get breakfast started again

"Hiya little man , arghh is that a race-car", George pics up a few of the toys and put them onto the kitchen island and lifts Louie onto the stool again. "We should play up here so Matty can make breakfast"

"It's not Mahee it's Maffu" , hearing that makes me giggle , the amount of times I've heard this kid have this conversation because my family have always called me Matthew and kiddo hates it when people call me Matty. I think the only person he really lets do it is Ross.

"Am I not allowed to call him Matty?" , George looks at me with a smile and turns back to Louie and helps him start pretending to race the cars.

"No cuz he's not Mahee, his name is Maffu" , I turned around to watch them play after I'd plated everything up , I'd cut Louis toast into squares and his beans in bowl where as ours where just on plates. I passed them over and we all sat around the breakfast bar

"Hey Lou ?, Can you say MaTThew for me, remember like TTTHHH" , We were trying to teach him how to pronounce his T Hs in words but it was taking a little bit of time.

"That's what I said I said Maffew" , while he was crunching on his toast he was still playing about with his little red cat pretending to drive it up George's arm.

"Try this can you say thinking"

"Thhhh.thinking" , I gave him a high five before shovelling some beans in my mouth.

"That's it , now say Thinking This Through" , I know that's a little harder to say and he won't get it right away

"Thhhhfff...thhhinking , thhhis , fffffthhh frew"

"That's was nearly it kid , clever boy" , I couldn't help but be proud him for trying, I'm always so damn proud of him , "so boys how about when we've finished we have a trip to park".

Louie immediately agreed and George smiled nodding too, finishing the last of his food before going to the sink g and dropping it in "Matty do you want me to wash this ?"

"No darling it's okay , I'll clean them if you go help Louie clean himself up and get his shoes on"

"Sure thing" , Louie jumped down from the bar stool and took George's hand showing him where his bathroom was to help him get cleaned up as I began washing up the dishes and the rest of the kitchen, I'd just about finished the dishes I got a message from George.

"Louie doesn't want me to brush his hair says he wants you to do it" , of course , he rarely even let's my mum do it, I should have thought about that

"I'll be right up just gunna finish this and I'll be up just tell him to be a good boy and wait for two seconds"

I finished up the dishes and dried my hands, making my way up the stairs two at a time to get to the bathroom to help George out, I know how stubborn Lou can be having learnt from the best. "Hey kid, why you not letting Georgie do your hair," , he handed me the brush and sat down on the edge of the bath

"Cuz you do it right no one else does it right like you do"

"How about I show Georgie how to do it then he can try tomorrow?, How's that sound", George said that he'd love to learn because he wants Louie to feel comfortable with him so Louie eventually agreed to let me teach George how to do it.

"Right first I usually just wet it cuz he likes it to look a little wet , then you get the comb and go through the sides so that they look kinda flat right ?, then I get a towel or shirt , whatever I can find and scrunch the front so it's curly and I do the back the same , then you just put some gel and hairspray in it to keep it in the same then voila" , I step back and lift Louie up so he can see in the mirror so he can see and he claps his hands and asks me to put him down. Once I do he runs off to get his jacket. Leaving me with George for a second. He was awkwardly stood in the corner watching us interact "you okay darlin?"

"Yeh , he really loves you doesnt he?" , he pulls me in at the waist and kisses me softly. "What was happening earlier by the way , hope I didn't interrupt anything" , I could feel his breath on my face as he stood close to me talking to me.

"Nothing , We were just talking about stuff , I got really shitfaced a couple months ago and he saw me fall of the barstools cuz I was being a prick and split my head open and he was telling me that he was scared that I was pretty much going to die or so he thought" , I pulled George into me so I could hold him close. "But I promised him that I'm not going anywhere , I've got a feeling he might be a bit clingy today but don't worry everything's okay"

"He's your baby brother I'd expect him to be clingy love , I would never be worried about that my littlest sister is clingy all the time when I have people over so I'd expect nothing less."

Louie came running back through wearing his buzz light year hoodie and carrying his buzz and woody toys with him "Can I take buzz and woody with me?", They had his name written on the bottom of there feet just like Andy did in the film.

"Sure you can kid but don't forget them okay?"

"I wouldn't forget them Mathhhhew , there like friends aren't dey" , he put them under one arm and stretched his other arm out, indicating he wanted me to lift him so I lifted him up onto my hips again as we made our way back downstairs George trailing behind smiling at the interactions. After I'd slipped my own shoes on we made our way outside

"Hey kid , do want to bring your bike" , he shook his head under my chin, so I just carried him in one arm and stretched my hand out behind me so George could take my free hand as we walked to the park. Chatting away to each other

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"Wanna smoke Darlin", we've been sat the park for about 45 minutes now , Louie found a friend to play with , we're sat on the ground underneath some tree well out of sight, we can still see him though, so it's the perfect time for a fag.

"Yeh go on then love", this is the first free minute we've both had since saying we'd look after Louie so it's a good a time as any to have one.

"You know I love the kid but sometimes I get really overwhelmed and overstimulated looking after him, cuz my senses are all over the place", I take my fag from the packet and light it up in seconds watching as the embers glow under my finger tips.

"Is that an ADHD thing?" , I was sat next to George but was trying to manoeuvres myself into a better position so I could lay my head on his lap

"Is what an ADHD thing?"

"How quickly you can get overwhelmed, like, it's not a bad thing, but I've realised stuff with you, you can go from 0-1000 like dead quick" , as I lay down across his legs his free hand made its way to my hair again.

"Maybe, it's just I feel things a little more intense than people like what you said ealier it's harder for me to regulate feelings , but that's cuz the feelings I have are 10 times stronger", we both took a drag of our cigarettes basking in the peace for a second, the grey smoke making an angelic like halo around us making me feel safe.

"Can you tell me more about it , your ADHD, so I can understand it better, I haven't really spend a lot of time around someone who has it and I just want to do things right for you, what helps you calm down when your frustrated or upset?"

"Compression and force like giving up control really helps, taking control away from me, like someone making a choice for me instead of doing it myself or like if I'm freaking out hold me like really tight with you arms right around my chest, it gets me to focus on breathing and just trying to calm down my dad had to do it a lot when I was younger". I looked up at him then as I spoke so I could gage his reactions but he's just looking at me too and he looked interested, and like he actually wanted to know so I kept going, "that's why earlier when we did what we did , or I should say , when you did what you did, it helped so much really , it took away every single thought was running around in my head , took away my control left me completely under your control that helped so much, I've never had something like that to shut my head up fully other than drugs or alcohol and it felt really good to finally have something good"

"I'm glad it helped , I didn't tell you ay but I uh came too , like a fuckin 14 year old in my boxers because of it like what the fuck is that about", the blush across his face and the smile to match just had me melting at the sight. "So um what like frustrates you most, or what do I need to keep an eye out for like triggers that show your frustrated"

"We'll uh , I can't say I have specific triggers but it really bums me out when people don't try to understand me like , you know, I argue with people very often and I don't mean to they just don't seem to understand where I'm coming from or I can't communicate how I feel properly , that's why school sets me off , the teachers don't always get it and my attention span can go to bollocks really fast if I'm not interested in the class or I don't understand it" , after I'd discarded my cigarette I couldn't help but fiddle with the end of my T-shirt to keep my hands busy so I don't end up flailing them around. "I just feel the need to be constantly stimulated you know , and when I feel myself slipping, that's when I tend to go off the rails a bit like you know , doing something drastic to keep my brain going and a lot of the time I do know it's the wrong thing but I can't help it, and it's when people don't understand that, that's when I'm like well "fuck this then" and I get all hopped up and angsty, but I also frustrate myself too, when I can't concentrate on things that I really want to do or when I get forgetful and all that there's just quite a lot" , George pulled me into a hug and just held me close to him for a second I could feel his heartbeat through out shirts.

"Your amazing you know that right ?, and I'm so proud that you do everything you can to make it through everyday, and I can't sit here and promise I'll get it right for you everytime but what I can promise is that I'll always be here and always help you through stuff. You just have to let me know when your struggling okay !"

"Thank you Darlin , I'll try my best to always keep talking about how I feel" , just as we were finishing up our conversation Louis came running up to us , asking if we could go now because he was getting tired and had to go to the bathroom. He was still grasping onto his toys when he came over but was missing his hoodie. "Where's your jumper Lou?"

"Oh ....uh....I don't know I think it's on the climbing frame, I'll go get it", he passed me over his toys and ran back over the climbing frame to get it and met us half way back. "I don't want to wear it right now, It's to hot"

"Okay kiddo , Do you think it would fit Matthew ?"

"No it's to small for you silly", I carefully put it on , it was like 7 sizes to small but I still got into and I lifte him up in one arm and took George's hand with my free hand again as we made our way home, On the way George whispered in my ear that I look cute wearing a buzz light year hoodie and it made me laugh.

It took us all of ten minutes to get back and Louis was asleep in my arms already so as we go in I had to wake him up because he said had to pee before we left the park "go toilet kiddo then we can all have a nap yeh" , he just nodded and ran off as George and I took our shoes off .

"I'm not tired Matty I only woke up like 3 hours ago, but if you boys need a nap I'll make lunch or something?" , George places his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest so my back was against him and kissed my head.

"Just come sit with us yeh, I'm shattered but I'll still nap a little better if your there"

"Are you sure ?"

"Please ?" , Louis came down stood at the bottom of the stairs watching us cuddle up.

"people kissing is yucky and silly , really silly" , he jumped off the last step and pulled my arm with his on his way to the living room so we could nap , pulling me right out of George's grasp , I mouth a quick "sorry" in his direction but he just smiles at us and follows us through and we all cuddle up on the sofa to peacefully have a nap even if George didn't want one.

——————-x——————-x———————————

It was 3 o’clock by the time I woke up , Louis was running circles round my Dad , which made me realise my parents where back, George was wrapped up around me drifting off but not completely “Hiya Darlin , are you drifting”

“Nuhh”, he pulled me closer to him, “it’s just cozy down here”, and nuzzled his head into my neck “when we going to Ross’ place”

“I don’t know darlin , we can go anytime, Why ?”

“Wanna change, it’s damn hot up in here and I’m sweating like fuck”, he pulled the jumper off and I then could for sure that he was melting and come to think of it, I was too.

“We’ll we can both change and then go over and help set up” , I heard him agree, he got up a couple seconds later taking my hand and dragging me with him to my room. “What you thinking of wearing then darlin!”

He was already rummaging around his suitcase for something. “I brung a shirt with me but I’m not sure it’ll work though”

“Darlin , it’s just a party, you don’t have to be dressed up” , I slide open my wardrobe hunting around for a t-shirt and my red tartan trousers. I found a black polo neck sweater. I saw him pull out the shirt from the suitcase and a different pair of blue jeans. I pulled off my t-shirt to change but I notice George watching me and when I look up to see him and his head snapped back to where he was looking in the first place. “You don’t have to be shy darlin, especially not with me”

“I’m not shy , just don’t wanna be pervy do I, and uh….I don’t wanna uh….get like worked up again, we need to get going don’t we” , I slid over to him carefully and put my arms round his waist and softly kissed his neck

“We don’t have to go right away Darlin….we can take as much time as we need…and beside I wanna make it up to you for ealier”, I heard him groan right next to my ear and I attached myself to his neck again. “Would you like that darling ?….to pay you back for ealier….make you feel good” , his hands took hold on my waist and his head lulled forward into my shoulder

“Mhm” , I pushed him carefully into the bathroom and kicked the door closed behind me, I pushed him up against the door and quickly pushed his jeans down. “Slow down love, you don’t have to rush, come ere” , his hands found my face and pulled me in softly to his plump lips, I slowly slid my hand down his body and my hand found his dick tenting in his pants, I palmed in softly and I heard him groan. “Matty, your hands are magic”

I pulled back from the kiss and began to pull his top off, kissing his neck leaving hickey after hickey a trail all the way down his body till I reached the hair that sat just above his boxer line. “Can I?”, I was on my knees and looking at him through my eyelashes. “Please let me”

“Yes my love, please go ahead” , I pulled his boxers down his legs and licked all the way up his length his hands immediately found my hair gripping tightly, I wrapped my lips around his head and I heard him moan my name, like music to my ear. I began to bop my head around him slowly at fist until his head hit the back of my throat and I slightly gagged around him pulling back a little pulling off with a pop

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to push you that far”

“No darling, I promise it’s fine, you can do it a little harder if you want” , his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he pushed me back to what I was doing my lips wrapped around him and began sucking him off again with more vigour this time my cheeks hollowed out and let him hit the back of my throat a few times before going back to concentrate on the head. The noises I was pulling from him where amazing, his legs buckled a little bit before he pulled on my head. “I’m gunna come Matty, Can I uh….uh” , I know what I was going to say so with a few more licks , and my lips wrapping round him again I nodded moaning around him indicating he could come in my mouth. It took a few more pills and he was moaning and coming down my throat, I swallowed it all and pulled off of him wiping my mouth the back of my hand, leaning back on my heels

“Was that good for you darlin” , he was slumped agains the door, his hand under my chin and his thumb slid over my bottom lip.

“More than satisfactory, my love” , he helped my up, and he threw my arms around him. “Let’s get dressed love before we start anything else”, that made us giggle “I’ll get changed in here so there’s no more funny business ay?”

“Sure thing darlin”, we stood in each others arms for a few more minutes and I felt his lips connect with my forehead and he patted my arse. “Okay okay , I’m going”, I skipped out the door and gave him the clothes he took out before he closed it and we go to changed.

——————x———————-x—————

THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE PARTY

Why is asking permission for certain things, both romantic and platonic, one of the cutest, most heart-fluttering things ever?

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Would you like me to carry your jacket?"

"Can I hug you?"

"Would it be alright if we cuddled?"

"Can I play with your hair?"

"Might I walk you home?"

"Can I tickle you?

"Is it okay if I kiss you goodbye?"

"Can I hold onto your arm while we walk?"

"Can I rest my head on your shoulder?"

"Is it okay if I call you (nickname)?"

"I'd really like to kiss you right now, if that's okay with you,"

"Would you let me take care of you?"

OMG IM SO EXCITED TO THIS INSTALMENT ARGHHHH I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DO

Word count : 4k

Warnings : mention of food and dieting , Weed

IM SO EXCITED

Mattys POV

(A week or so has gone by since last instalment)

Oh my god things have been wild lately, George is finally visiting today he's going to be here for at least ten days I believe and I can't bloody wait for it. I couldn't sleep last night we were up all night on FaceTime, he fell asleep eventually because he "didn't wanna look like complete shit when we first met", which is stupid because he can't look bad in anyway , to me. His train was due at 4 this afternoon but since I hadn't slept I had started getting ready at 7am , showered, dressed in skinny jeans and a floral shirt that I'm sure I stole from my mum once upon a time and my Docs because what else would I wear, I had spent at least half an hour just trying to make sure my hair didn't look like a damn bird nest or that I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, brushed my teeth and even had some breakfast. It was now 8:30 and I'm pacing, like actually pacing because I hate waiting. He'd texted me this morning but he doesn't want to show me his outfit because he wants it to be a surprise so in turn I said I wouldn't show him mine which is hell because I love this shirt so much and love showing it off. On what feels like my fifth lap of the house my dad had tried to convince me to sit down for a bit but even if I did it would be roughly five minutes before I was up and moving again. So in turn he'd asked if I wanted to go for a drive which I accepted gratefully. I think he was taking me to Tesco to pick up some stuff for dinner later.

We were just walking around the shop my dad pushing the trolley and me just shoving literally anything in it. "So this lad then, George is it?" , I nod with a smile on my face. "What are we to call him, like is he your boyfriend or just a friend who you like, or just a normal friend". My dads just amazing always trying to understand things

"For now he's just a friend that I like but Um we're somewhat both interested in one another but haven't asked the question yet, so please don't call him my boyfriend yet because I haven't asked and don't want to scare him away yet", I throw at least five packets of noodles into the trolley. "He likes noodles , is that enough or should I get more?"

"Son , your gunna work yourself into a headache just breath okay, I'm sure everything is going to be just fine" , I take a few deep breaths and we continue on through the shop. Stopping to drop a few more things in.

"Uh Dad, Would it be okay if we got some alcohol?, I promise I won't over do it" , I know he probably can't trust a word I say because I can't prove that I won't but I really want him to trust me.

"I'll be honest lad , I think we'll have to ask your mum first and we can come back later if she says it's okay" , we just ponder around a few more isles and drop random things into the trolley "you haven't smoked today have you!"

"Not yet no , why?"

"Would you like to drive the car home ?" , we loading stuff onto the check outs , I do have my lisence I got it last year and I do have a car but my mum and dad took my keys after the crash with Janey because they didn't trust me in the car unless I was with one

of them.

"Are you sure dad!"

"If you'd like son , just be careful yeh?"

"Oki thank you dad , honestly thank you", I threw my arms around him and he held me just for a second and we made our way to the checkouts putting all the items through and packing them up, I'm a little meticulous about the packing and how to do it so dad just lets me do it my way "Also da , we need to go to the pharmacy my medication is ready to pick up"

"Which ones is it where picking up today lad ?" , we'd picked up like 2 other ones this week but I think they were for anxiety and anti-sickness but these ones are just supplements for food.

"Just food equivalent to help me get my appetite back like the ones I had years ago" , my dad payed for the food swiping his card across the card reader and waved goodbye too the cashier as we leave and as he's packing up the car I jump in the front seat and get myself accustom with the steering and gears again.

"You all ready then Son", he jumps into the passenger side and buckled up eager to see how well I do

"As I'll ever be ,I guess"

The drive to the pharmacy wasn't to bad to be fair, I'm still a pretty good driver and my dad said I did well so I'm happy about that. I didn't want to go in again for like the 3rd day running so Dad went in for me giving me a second to just breath and reply to George. Last message I got he was still getting ready he doesn't have to leave for the station till around about 1 and it's only 9:30, I think we both just got a little to eager.

MATTY: my dad let me drive !!!!

GEORGE: yeh ?, how did you do?

MATTY: haven't driven in a while so thought I'd mess up a little but it actually went okay, we've been to Tesco to get food for the next few days , we're at the pharmacy now and then where going home and I think I'm going to tidy my room cuz it's an actual pigsty might ask mum to help

GEORGE : don't have to tidy for me love, my rooms a shit tip

MATTY: I will anyway

As my dad came back I slid my phone back into my pocket he handed me my medicine to make sure it was the right thing because he really had no idea what is was called , neither did I to be honest but it looked right so I just flung it on the dashboard and we made our way back home

We unpacked the bags in the kitchen as Loius ran around looking literally as excited as I felt as he'd grown to really like George too they interacted a lot over the past week , and when I told him George was coming to visit he got so darn happy he climbed up onto the middle island in the kitchen and watched us unpack

"How long till Georgie is here Maffu ?"

"He's coming today little dude but it's still a long time yet" , after unpacking the last bag I pick loius up and manoeuvre him so he's on my back, and I carry him back up stairs and flip him onto my bed " you gunna help Maffu clean up ?"

"I don't wanna tidy Maffu but I'll watch", he's always just soooo me and it makes me laugh and ruffle his hair again as he looks up at my with the big smile and those big blue eyes.

"That's okay, can you get Mummy for me then"

"Oki", he jumps back off the bed and runs through the house , leaving me stood in the middle of the room looking around trying to figure out where to start, it really is such a mess in here, mugs and plates everywhere, piles of clothes, shoes just milking around , stacks and stack of books , dvds and cds and my bed isn't even made. I get lost in my thoughts when I here a knock on my door that makes me jump.

"Sorry love didn't mean to startle you, what was it you needed me for?"

"Can you possibly help me tidy up in here , I don't know where to start and it's so bad" , she looks around just as baffled as me, then strides over and pulls me into a hug.

"Love ,what happened in here?"

"I just haven't had the effort or will power to clean up Mum, sorry" , I hug her close and then as we separate herself we both look around and make a mental note on where to start

"Right first of all love , take all the dishes downstairs and ask you dad if he can clean them up , then come back up and we can sort your clothes out okay", I nod and then get to picking up the cups and plates grimacing when I realise how bad it actually is. I run downstairs with the dirty plates and mugs dropping them carefully into the sink, then run back up the stairs two at a time to help mum. "What clothes are clean and what aren't love ?"

"Most of its clean it just needs to be folded and put away really", it takes me a few more seconds to actually sit down and start folding a pile that was next to where I stood, Im so bad at keeping up with cleaning it bores me. I noticed mum stand up and start putting clothes into drawers and stops to look at something already in the drawer

"Matty , love what are these?”

I drop the shirt I was folding onto the floor as I know exactly what she was talking about as I know what I’d been hiding in that drawer, I scratch the back of my neck as I breath in ALL the air that was in the room and try to piece a reply together. My mouth opens and closes a few times but no words leave my mouth.

“Matty love?”

“It’s nothing important Mum, just put it back please” , I take three big stride across to her and place my hands around the books “Mum seriously it’s nothing”

She did let me take them and shove them back the drawer as she takes a tentative seat on my bed and pats the space next to her. “Sit down for a minute please my love” , once I’ve got the books properly back into the drawer and place myself down next to her. “Can you please tell me why you feel the need to have books about dieting love”.

“It’s not important Mumma , it doesn’t mean anything, I just have them”

“First off Matty , I’ve been keeping an eye on everything to do with your eating habits for a while and I know there not very good , your skin and bone love , and you only ever call me Mumma when your anxious , so please you know I’m not going to be mad , can you please explain to me why?”

I know she won’t be mad and I know it’s not something that’s that big of a deal but its still scary to talk about , so as I think of the right words to say I just ponder in my mind what I need and look around my room as I try to explain. “It’s just about the element of control , I was losing control of everything in my life and I was freaking out so bad you know , like I had zero semblance of control, but then I found a book at school about diets like I know people diet duh , but um when I read it, a lot of it was about how people diet to gain control over something, so I tried and I read a lot of them but then I even lost control of that and I’m scared again so I hid them so I wasn’t as embarrassed about losing control of even that and people wouldn’t ask if they saw and I wouldn’t ave to talk about it”

“Matty , I know things are hard right now love , and I’m proud that your talking to me , but why couldn’t you tell me earlier”

“I don’t know Mum really, I guess I just didn’t know how to” , I got back up from my bed and went back over to the drawer taking the books back out and contemplated them for a while. “Can you take them Mum”

“What would you like me to do with them?”

“Just don’t let me have them I guess , I’m going to try to get better , Dr Adrian gave me the medication for it and I’m gunna work harder at everything I promise”. I get back to the cleaning of my room “Mum?”

“Yes love”

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been lately and I’m sorry for worrying everyone, I also appreciate you for letting George come because he really helps me be a better version of myself and I really hope you can see that when he’s here , I know I haven’t known him that long but he really does help me”

“I’m so glad that you’ve found someone that you can talk to Matty , you don’t have to apologise everyone goes through hard times , you’ve just got to pick yourself up and if you need help keep talking , be it to me or George or your dad even Louis , I know he’s just a kid but even if you talk you’ll feel better”

“Thank you”

It takes us a few more hours to tidy up my room it really was a state , and I talked to my Mum the whole time about how I felt about everything and anything. When we had finished the tidying and cleaning up it looked like a completely different room I hadn’t seen it like this in at least a month.

It’s now 12:30 and although I’m more than excited to see George the restlessness was starting to get to me again, George had informed me he was on his way to the train station now his train was at 2 and it took him an hour to get to the station. It was getting harder to not be nervous because I was really just watching the time tick by. I’d rolled a joint after I’d finished cleaning my room but hadn’t got round to smoke it yet because dads trying to keep me busy until we have to go because he knows if I’m just sitting waiting then I’m going to get irritable. With this being the first time I’d had a break today I decided to just let them know I’m going for a smoke. So now I’m just sat outside on the front porch relaxing as I smoke the joint.

Matty: I’m so nervous darling x

George: I’m actually shutting a brick 😂 , would your dad mind if I went for smoke when I got off the train or would he wanna get going straight away ?x

Matty: He won’t mind , I’m sure he’d understand

George : I’ll be grand then , will you be waiting for me on the platform or will I meet you outside.

Matty : I’ll wait on the platform you dick😂

George : thanks love x

I slide my phone back into my pocket and finish my joint before making my way inside, I know it’s lunchtime and I should eat but I’m not the hungry yet but Louis came running through to the kitchen and attached himself to my leg “How long now Maffu” , I picked him up and put him on the counter while messing up his hair, he’s got a lollipop hanging out his mouth so I didn’t really catch what he said, I took the sweat out of his mouth for a second.

“What was that kid ?”

He smiled a lopsided grin at me and rolled his eyes dramatically , so much like me. “How long till Georgie is here silly?”, I gave him back his sweet and he shoved it back into his mouth even though I was just holding it my hand was sticky so I turned the tap on and started washing my hands

“He’s getting on the train really soon , then daddy and I will go get him , do you want to come too?”, he again smiled at me his eyes growing to the size of bowling balls and he take his sweet out of his mouth again.

“Can I ?”

“If you want too kiddo , just finish up with your sweet and wash your hands and then we can talk cuz that’s going to take you ages to eat”

“I don’t want it anymore, you have it” , he went to hand it to me but I told him that’s it’s okay and just to put it in the bin , he runs back over to me, I lift him up and help him wash his hands. “Will George play with me when he comes ??”

“I’m sure he will Kiddo”

I spent the next few hours just playing about with Louis , on the play station, watching tv with him , helped him with some homework that he had left around about 2:30 he fell asleep on my lap while we were watching the TV , George had texted me saying that he was now on the train half an hour ago, and we should be leaving in an hour because it doesn’t all to long from ours to get to the station here, so I took Louis idea into consideration and tried to take a nap myself which in theory maybe wasn’t the best idea but I was starting to get tired so that I did , I set an alarm on my phone for 45 minutes so I could get my head down for a little while. I layed myself down trying not to disturb Louis and sleep consumed me

My alarm woke us both up at 3:15 , Louis was not too happy with it, he was still tired and he was throwing a little hissy fit “hey kiddo , I know your tired and I know you wanted to come to pick Georgie up but you need to calm down for me so we can get ready to go can you find your shoes for me ay ?” , he just clung to me his tiny frame shaking as he cried “hey hey hey it’s okay , you can have another nap you know , come on kiddo no need for tears”

“But I’m still sleepy , I wanna go bed” , as I got myself he was still clinging to me so I decided to take him upstairs to bed his head was resting on my shoulder the whole time. “Maffu , is it okay if I just stay here”

“It’s okay kiddo , just get a big nap for me and when you wake up George will be here and you can play all day yeh” , he nodded against me as I lay him down on his bed and tucked him up and kissed his head

“I’ll see you later okay”

“Okay Maffu”

I got myself completely got my leather jacket from my room , checked to see if my dad was ready, he let me know that he was just going to finish his tea and then we’d get going. So I just waited by the door, annoying I know but I just wanted to get going. Once he was ready I raced out to the car like I was 7 again jumping into the passenger side as my dad made his way to driver seat and we got going. I couldn’t help my leg bouncing up and down anxiously the whole way there, I’d bitten my nails raw Mum would have killed me for it but dad doesn’t mind. I’d chain smoked the whole ride there out the window of course and really it wasn’t that bad the train station was just half an hour away so it was really not to bad. We got to the station with 15 minutes to spare so I checked my hair in the middle mirror of the car and started fussing with my outfit until my dad told me again that I looked absolutely fine and to stop worrying , I sat and waited for literally only two minutes before I decided I just wanted to go in and wait so I just told my Dad that I’d let him know when I’ve got George and we’re going to have a smoke before we come back, he gave me a quick nod and smile before I got out and made my way inside

Inside the station was so busy, people milling about the place, so much sounds and smells, it was so hot in there as well but I tried to gather myself and push through I saw that the train from London was going to be arriving on platform 3, I started making my way there but there was quite a lot of people waiting there aswell and I could feel myself getting anxious and my nerves were getting the best of me so I hung back and just sent George a quick message letting him know that I am inside but I’m not on the platform because it looked busy, he replied not to long free to let me know that it was okay and he’d call me once he departed the train and I could let him know where I was which helped me alot. I decided to wait outside WHSmith a small convenience store that was off to the side of the platforms , True to his word after a small five minutes more of waiting my phone started to buzz in my hand and George’s contact appeared on my screen

“Hey there”

“Hiya love , that’s me just coming off , where is it your at ?, you doing okay it’s not to busy for you is it ?”

“I’m stood outside smiths , I’m okay for now it’s not to busy round here I’ll be okay, I just really can’t wait to see you now”

“I’ll can see it , from where Im at so I should be there in no time at all handsome”

I couldn’t help but smile , my heart was racing , basically jumping out of my chest in anticipation, I could hardly wait, there wasn’t much conversation going on between us we were both just keeping an eyes out for each other, He soon caught my eye “I can see you , you lanky fuck”, despite feeling nervous and anxious about everyone around us the fact that I could see him sent a jolt of pure joy through me and I felt my legs starting to race to him. As I began running to me I could see the moment he clocked me and he just dropped his suitcase open his arms to me and I ran into his arms and burried my face in his chest pushing my phone into my pocket without even hanging up. We stayed there in each other arms for what felt like an age not saying anything just holding each other and it felt so right

“Hiya handsome” , I pulled away first but not all the way just enough so I could look up and his and the smile on his face was everything I needed to feel relaxed. I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks already. “Jesus , you really ARE a lanky twat aren’t ya” his smile grew bigger if that was even possible and we giggled to each other and he pulled me closer to him

Once we’d sorted ourselves out taking at least another five minutes just holding one another we were just stood line idiots smiling at each other and he eventually picked his suitcase back up and I’d sorted my phone in my pocket I took his hand and lead him outside to the smoking area.

“Babe , you looks so cool, by the way” , I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the word babe leave his mouth and it had my blushing even more than I thought humanly possible and I took his hand that was in mine and kissed it as we both giggled again.

“You look so fit”

Hey guys it’s me ,

I hope everyone who has been reading Heart Out has been having a lovely time reading it and enjoys it, I’m really struggling with the next chapter it just doesn’t seem to be flowing , I know I send out a couple a week, but I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be getting one out this week. I’m so sorry if your waiting BUT what I can do for you while you wait is do some BLURBS OR IDEAS that you all may have , if you do have anything you’d like me to hash out or give blurbs for let me know and I’ll get them written for you.

IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE ALL GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE AND ITS SOOOO APPRECIATED ❤️❤️

Thank you again

Dylan 💥

Chapter 17

Word Count :2296

There’s not much warning needed for this chapter it’s all just talking and understanding unless honestly needs a tag then it’s fine

Matty's POV

I spent a lot of time that afternoon in my room, I'd received a few texts from Ross asking if I'm okay and if I'd told my mum what was up, I told him that everything was good and that my mum knows but that I never told her about the coke use yet because I can't do it yet, As well as that my dad phoned me just telling me that he's proud of me , and that he's always going to be there for me , I'm his son and that he loves me and that he'll speak to me once he's home because I hopes I'll talk to him a bit more I you know all that stuff , and I thank him and chat to him for a bit about what he's up to at work. Later on that day George messaged back

"Good afternoon love , I'm sorry to hear that everything's been all over the place for you today, I know that your struggling but once I'm home we can call again and talk about what happened , I miss your voice and your face", This is when we start Snapchating again because honestly I miss his face too. After seconds of seeing his face appear on my screen and face splitting grin appears on my own face, I sent him back a picture of myself so he can see me, I might not look or feel the best right now but I understand that and he's not going to see me as any different. We snap chatted all afternoon about nothing and everything all at the same time . Right now we're talking about a game that we'd like to play

"Yeh oh my god did you hear that street fighter 6 is going to be out soon, apparently it's got new game modes coming out aswell", Video games is always something I can talk about from dawn till dusk , losing yourself in another world , and if you mess up you can try again another day nothing to be anxious about. Very different from real life.

He snaps right back that smile of his makes everything in my life just feel like it's a million miles away and I don't have to worry about it "didn't it say that it's got like a new mode where your like touring the world and you can play against others online right ?". If he's anything like me this game is going to melt our brains when it comes out , I know it's literally just an online game but I've played every single one, and I love them all, Any new realise melts my brain, I get lost in them for days , there were times when I was younger the guys would come over and we'd cabin ourselves up in my room and we'd play every walk through of the game and make sure we'd find every single hidden gem and watch people play them online. Those were the days, where my mum would come in to make sure we were all okay but we'd be too engrossed in the game to even notice she was there or we'd all be passed out on the floor because we'd been awake for two days straight, my room would be an absolute midden. When there parents came to pick them up I'd sulk for hours, cry to my mum because I'd want them to come back, always been the sensitive kid I guess. Then I'd be so tired that night I'd sleep for hours and wake up at like lunchtime the next day and my dad would spend all day trying to cheer me up. Come to think of it I'd always been sensitive , I know I'd cry about stupid things as a really young kid, I'd built a fort with my dad when I was maybe 4 but when we had to take it down I'd thrown the biggest conniption fit, screamed the place down which in turn caused my mum to have to buy one of those silly little TP tents for my room which I still have now.

A few moments later I get another Snapchat through from George "are you still there love" , I blush at the use of the pet name , I feel like that will always make me blush I then snap a picture of myself and reply

"Sorry darlin , I was just thinking about stuff and got lost in a day dream , but yes I did read that somewhere" I send it off and decide to get dressed , I just noticed the time , Louis will be home soon and probably will want to play for a while. I slide on a yellow T-shirt and some black shorts. Just like I'd said Louis knocks on my door and slides his little head round the door "Mummy said you were sad so I was wondering if you wanted to play angry birds that always makes me happy". He comes in now and climbs onto my bed waiting for me to sit with him.

I skulk over to him and sit next him "come on then show me how to play" , I hand him my iPad and slide onto the bed properly , leaning against the headboard and pull him onto my knee, He easily navigated his way through my iPad finding the game he needs , watching his little hands working there way through the screen.He pauses for a moment to look at me "Why are you sad ?".

I tap his head and play with his hair "it's okay little man we don't need to talk about it , I'm just being silly , how about you show me how to play". The games page loads up. He turns back to it and starts showing me how to play. I know how to play but he loves this game and I love watching him play. George replies midway through this game . I open it he must be on his way home now because he's outside and the sun is shining , brightly into his eyes making them shine "what where you thinking about love". That brings a smile to my face, I snap a picture back of me and Lou he's sat on my knee and he's too engrossed in his little game to notice that I'd taken his picture. It's actually a sweet one, I save it. "Just reminiscing about how I've always been a kind of sensitive guy really, we can talk about it when you call later if you like" . I put my phone down on my bed and pull Lou close to me hugging him "I love you little man"

"I love you too Maffu" , he hands me the iPad means he's struggling with this level , so I take it and I show him how to do it talking him through it "Fanks, you're really good at this , you can do the next one too" , we go through a few more levels together taking turns , George has replied but I'm lost in my time with my little man.

I pause the game after a while "Hey kiddo, do you have homework", I know he's only young but he might have class reading to do and I love hearing him read he's such a good little reader. "Go get your bag and I can help you with it yeh ?"

"Okay", he jumps off the bed , scrambling to go get his bag , while he's gone I reply to George, he's still stood outside but has a joint in his hand "If it's something you'd like to talk about then we can , how's the little man ?" , he's so darn pretty , how can some that looks like a literal angel just be allowed to walk the earth and not have a partner like it doesn't make any sense. The fact that he cares about me and even ask about Lou is also something that I can get down with

I snap back , I'm probably blushing because the picture he sent was really pretty , "I would really like it if we could talk about it , also he's doing grand , we were just playing angry birds , im about to help him with his homework , you look really pretty today by the way George x" , I hope that makes him smile even just a little bit.

He replies instantly he looks to be home now, he's sat on his couch has his headphones in and there's a tinge of red adorning his cheeks and he's smiling "says the pretty boy on the other end of the phone , would you like to call when you've finished with the little man then !?x"

I send him just a quick text this time because I can hear Louis running back up the stairs shouting to my mum that I'm going to help him do his homework "I'd like that alot x" , he send back just a quick alright then I plug my phone in to charge and then loius comes running back into my room "I got it", we end up setting his little books on my desk and he climbs up onto my knee so we can read his book, I remember reading this one when I was his age. He's reading away, he gets stuck on a few words but he honestly does so well , it's only a small book , ten pages at most but I'm so damn proud of him. This grown up little man is going places. The next part of the homework is where the issues began , neither of us a very good and maths it may seems, I'm trying to help him with his times tables as he has to learn them before he moves up to year three , I'm doing my best to try and help him where going through the 8 times table because that's the one he struggles with , and although I'm 17 going on 18 years old , I really should know my 8s but I don't not by heart anyway. I start panicking when I'm trying to explain how to do it, because I can tell he's getting upset about it , again another similarity we have is we both get upset quite quickly over small things , it's stupid how fast I get panicked over this and it's even more stupid how quickly we both get frustrated at it. I do try to keep my cool but eventually after about half an hour where both just frustrated messes and I don't want to see him upset anymore so we pack his things away and I let him go play for a while. I go to talk to my mum. I make my way down the stairs to see that my mum is working in her office but my dads home and sat on the couch flicking through the channels

"Hiya dad", I stand at the doorway slightly flustered, I lean against the door frame. I can feel myself getting a little twitchy but I force it down

"Alright yungun, what's up?", he's looking at me , I can see he's a little bit on edge trying to work out what's going on and trying to figure out if I'm okay.

"I just um came to tell mum something but she's busy so could I tell you ?", after I few silent moments I stride over to the sofa and sit next to my dad. "I think , I may need a little bit more help than mum thinks"

"Why's that yungun", he puts the remote down and sticks it on the arm of the chair. Paying close attention to me now .

"It's just everything stresses me out , small things that mean nothing to anyone, and when I get like that I can't do anything. It's like I try to speak but when I try it's nothing but a squeak in my own head , like I'm living in a house with just three walls and everyone can see me falling apart" . I don't want to cry right now, I can do this , I can have one conversation about how I feel without crying Jesus I need to do it "like everything is changing , there's this pressure in my head that's telling me I need to keep everything the same and not let it change and obviously I can't do that and when it starts getting to much my whole system just shuts down and I feel like I'm gunna explode" , I take a breath that I'd been holding , letting out a sigh at the same time rubbing my hand over the back of my head violently.

"Hey yungun come ere", he pulls me into a tough hug, his strong arms holding me still as I am still trembling "we'll get your sorted won't we, you just need to keep doing this , talking about what's going on"

"I'm trying dad I promise I'm trying", once I've pulled away I give him a soft smile and thank him for listening, on my way back to my room my mum calls through to make sure I have my cheeseburger so I do I pick up the paper bag and bring it up with me and slowly make my way through it, I know it's literally just a cheeseburger and kids eat them but it takes forever to get through, it takes an age actually. I don't feel that great after it, bloated to all hell actually but I guess that's my own fault. I ponder for a while why it's so hard for me to just do things that I'm supposed to do to live bit I think about it for long because if I spiral I won't bounce back for a while

"I'm ready to call whenever you are Georgie x"

This is just a small one shot I thought of based on one of my favourite songs , it’s pants and I know it could be soooo much better but it’s like 6am and I’m so sorry if it sucks

Called “Now your mine” , written from Mattys perspective, there about 17-18 and there isn’t much warnings for it other than maybe slight jealousy and cheating

(Changed the feminine pronouns to male ones just for the Fic)

I saw him standing cross the AstroTurf , I couldn’t believe that you had got there first.

Playing footie on the Astro after school is something that we always did before we wrong home, That day was no different I was standing with Ross and Hann just waiting for George to come along , as he did I could see that he was with her! Again , what a nightmare she is , and from the look already on his face I could tell that something was going on something was brewing between them. She was just chatting away to him and it looked like she was genuinely draining the life out of him. I couldn’t help but watch his every move as he came over to us, his broad shoulder and tall frame dark hair righted up in the bin that had always drive me wild. I couldn’t help being jealous of her and how she had somehow managed to crowd her way into George’s life, with her stupid little laugh and long ass legs (what that’s got to do with anything I’ll never know but there we go that’s what’s annoying me today), I’d loved George for as long as I’d known him but how could she just turn up one day and turn his life upside down.

You said you loved him did you really though , already had someone else on the go

They’d been together about five months at this point and George appeared to be totally smitten by her, she was always around , at school , when we hung out, always coming to see him at work and he even had to bring her to practise. She said she loved him too but the amount of stories I’d heard from others that would disprove this theory was immeasurable. I don’t know much about her but I know that she’d been with nearly ever lad out year and is now just making her way through the year below George being the newest she’d gotten her fuckin claws into. I’d brung it up with George a million times but he just told me every time that “she’s changed”, “she loves him” , but I’d heard that no matter how she was with or how ever many times she’d “changed” , she just used people and cheated every chance she got, she’d probably be looking for her new prey at this point. Not that I’d ever call George prey because he could stick up for himself and he was my best mate but even Hann dislikes her and he doesn’t dislike anyone you know.

And yes he stayed the night and he, he probably shouldn’t have.

He’s stayed the night, we’d spent a few hours with the lads practicing for the gig we had lined up down the pub that weekend and on the off occasion that , she hadn’t actually come he stayed over, it was a Thursday night and we’d gotten high after dinner and we were watching re-runs of friends. Laying next to each other I could feel the height coming off him I was the close to. I couldn’t keep my eyes of him, blowing out the smoked as his cheeks hollow out, his eyes slightly blood shot, his lips always so pretty.

“ Bro , you know you can take a picture right it’ll last well longer”, even his laugh his godly.

This leads us into a conversation about how he’d been so quiet and to himself recently, comes to think of it if he wasn’t at home, he was with her. We hadn’t seen him in months and when we did he just seemed off, upset, maybe even traumatised if that was the right word. He’d tried to say he was fine but I could tell he wasn’t,

Look in his eyes tell , tell me you wouldn’t have

I had to get him to be honest , his eyes weren’t as bright as they used to me, not as full as optimism and mischief as they had once been. They just seemed dull, as did he just tired and overall done with everything. So I pushed him to be honest with me. And that’s when he told me that Little Miss Jessie is just as bad as everyone says she is, That they argue all the time , that’s she’s manipulative , doesn’t trust him, won’t leave him alone. He’d told me that she’s always at him for being out and not with her or always making him feel like the bad guy. She overall just treats him like shit but he loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her even after the fact that he’s so upset by everything.

All is fair in matters of the heart so , go ahead and tear this friendship apart

We’d gotten into a massive discussion about the fact that he has to look out for number one no matter how much you may love someone, that the people you love shouldn’t be allowed to do as they please just because they feel like it. And then.

As I’d like magic he turned me and told me that he just couldn’t take it anymore and that he doesn’t want to leave her but doesn’t know what to do about it, his head fell onto my shoulder and a few tears let slip, I wiped them away holding him close to me. I waited till he had calmed down a little bit. Holding him this close to me wasn’t helping my situation in anyway what-so-ever and I couldn’t hold myself back. While I was comforting him I brung my lips to his cheek and then the other I could feel the heat raising throughout my body and when I looked at him we both leaned into each other and my world fell into place. Our lips met and our souls connected on a deeper level.

“What was that Matty!”

“George honestly , I’ve loved you since the day I met you and I just can’t watch you go through it with little miss perfect anymore I just wanted you to know that, and if ….if you don’t feel the same that’s fine….but please for the love of God ….you have to get rid of her….she’s just messing with you ead”

He then pulled me into him again , into a brain melting kiss. I closed my eyes this time and pulled him closer to me feeling his hands trail up my body until they were resting on my flaming hot cheeks and mine where shoved into his shirt that I grabbed onto for dear life.

“Gimmie your phone love” , we pulled away from each other for a second to breath and he passed me his phone after he’d pulled it from his pocket, I punched in the passcode and found her contact sending her

“It’s not my fault you know what’s done is done , he wanted me let it be , we’re still so young , which I could say that sorry I’m wrong but it’s not my fault that you got cheated on - Matty ❤️”. I send it away and got back to the task at hand.

Based off of “Cheating” by Michael Aldag

you know when you insanely head over heels for someone who you know you don’t even have a chance with and never will have. but every moment you spend with them you’re just like “Wow they are incredible”

that’s my mood today wbu ? 😂😂

I really felt the need cuz I found my football 😂

I hate having ADHD sometimes man like , when I get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep I just wake up in the morning and feel like I’m going about my day like a damn zombie and can only concentrate on one thing at a time and like I get tired more often —- but when I get no sleep or maybe like less than 5 hours I’ll be up all day for like 3-4 day straight and I can do anything , get everything done , think and concentrate on a million things at one time I’m happy and alive ——but then by the end of day for the burnout comes and I just wanna die and sleep forever like wtf