I Felt Alone In My Skin No, Worse So I Was A Hostage Inside Myself Choking On A Growing Body Suffocating

I stand with my feet In the water Letting the icy waves Bury my feet in the sand Erasing my footprints So I had never Walked here

The water that touches me Touches you It glides along your ankles And the tide rushes over us Though we stand In different oceans

When I get home My cat looks at me The same way she did Back then Only the fur on her chin Is gray now Her eyes are watery

There's a tap on my shoulder I know it's you I look behind me And all I see is the door I turn the lock Turn off the front light Going to bed without you

You're in between the sheets Your blankets are green Mine are brown Together we must be Like the earth That connects us

The salt of the sea Is on my skin I think that you can smell it That with my eyes closed Your arms around me Whispering Take me back there

My cat settles herself In the bend of my knees I wonder if she remembers you As she yawns loudly Falling asleep soundly Just as I do

What do the living Do with the dead? What do we do?

What do we do when Someone vanishes?

What do the living Do when consumed With such a void? Death Is for the living

Never again could I love Anyone as I do you, Fellow poet

Because with everyone else Poetry has been My mistress

And with you, we share her, Together we have Moaned her name

This goodbye is so long A blessing and a curse You said, though It feels like neither

It might end too soon A downpour that comes Suddenly, leaving Abruptly, sun shining

For now it is a drizzle That comes and goes Throughout the day, I am overcast, I am gray

Step out into the wind with me On this frozen night That bears no snow

Do you know the meaning Of the cold? Do you know what it offers us?

Take my hand, you are safe Feel the subzero gust Feel the way it burns your face

I am shivering right beside you Are you alive Like I am on an icy evening?

You come into the room Hair damp and spiked From the bathwater The towel around you Such a stark white In contrast to the ink That covers your body

You look at me with Those fierce, devouring Spanish eyes, te amo I did not believe until Now but you are my love Here, at first sight Keep me in this room With our paint and canvas Who is the artist and Who is the muse?

I forget myself as We ride through nights That never really end The moon ever brighter Warning us to stop We do not listen

Be done, untouch me I knew I would end up In your bed again, Again with your radiance Your harsh light Your brilliant mind That races ever forward With no finish line

I vanished and you Still search for me Your low voice like a Home, like a tempting Warmth, maybe it is The memories you want

You are the active Volcano I build a house Upon, and you erupted And we were burned away Ending the way we Began, so suddenly En ardiente deseo Nothing more than fire

Floating on my back Naked in the water I made a promise to The clouds above To never ask about their father

The sky turns gray And I feel cold I give my body to the earth Into her hands to hold One day she may cradle me When I am very old

I see the sun light up Below the horizon Piercing the clouds Warming the land That someday I will die on

Without my clothes I am the planet's creature Flesh and bone And limbs to feature This forest pond is a refuge And the wind's voice my teacher

You say, "A boyfriend sounds nice"

So now I'm sitting Here, Embarrassed For thinking that's What I'd been All these years

All these Years, years, years

All this time Our romance had been ancient History

I am with you in the morning When you are waking, Still sound asleep beside you, Cats curled around us As the light of dawn is breaking. I am with you in the evening As you begin to drift off, Eyes heavy and sleepy. Stay in my arms, I will hold you So you may rest deeply.

But soar freely, my dear, I will never hold you back As you fly through your days, Over the earth and over waves. Whether the day is cloudy or blue Some days I'll fly beside you, One of us a hawk, the other a dove. Other days I will be the wind Simply the air beside you, Or below you, or above.

Follow your heart, wherever it Takes you, to each experience That transforms and shapes you, You can take my hand with you Or leave it be. When you are done wandering And long to be held Like the sea holds the shore, Bring your weary, tired bones Home to me once more.

Lingering in the silence All the words we do not speak, Afraid to exhale thoughts from my lips, The memories I do not have.

On a sugar high You are filled with a rush of sweetness. A child who has found their favorite candy, The jumping up and down excitement Quickly fades as I crash.

Crashed, crushed, crumbled. I forget you, forget you, forget you, Seal shut the secret garden. You do not exist here.

I was window shopping for seeds When you appeared at my side And you gave me flowers. I did not want flowers, I did not want them. Just seeds to glance at from time to time.

An unexpected change of heart Your love is a flash flood. Pouring over dry soil, Abrupt and abundant.

The broken picture frame Shattered from false image. And I am unresponsive As you would be if you knew me. But I don’t know you either.