My Dear, Are You Here? I Reach Out To You Again From The Delicate Attachment Of My Thoughts And You Are

The skies I fly are crimson red tonight Sailors below me prepare for tomorrow And as I reach the clouds I wonder what colors you are seeing.

I spend hours soaring through the airwaves Hoping to spot you somewhere But your wings have gotten heavy lately And you are drifting lower these days.

So I search beneath the white wisps To find you standing on the ground On the rocks where I first saw you In the twilight hours of an April day.

You look out into the ocean The waves are crashing after a storm You tell me that the sea is endless And you wish your faith could be that way too.

Upon the shoulders I kiss lightly You carry the weight of past concerns Still you confide in me Worries of your angel wings falling.

You cry out why would I love you If your feathers hit the ground If your eyes were to stop glowing And you could not fly with me again?

I pluck a white feather from my own wings Blowing it out to sea I assure you You do not have to be an angel To be able to touch the red in the sky.

I take out two more of my feathers Tucking them neatly behind your ears The ends weave their way into your head My love with you wherever you go.

Little spider by the window Resting in the shade I like your coloring I like the web you made

You're hanging upside down In your messy little nest I wonder if you're hungry Or eating tiny pests

I don't know where you came from You suddenly appeared I hope you stay a while I like that you are here

Now I am furious with you, You, Who called me your everything, Your soulmate, your most Important person while you Slept in another's bed. You, Who whispered so seductively, Playing your hand of greed, Bluffing with clubs When I Thought you held hearts. You, Who made me feel stupid for Hanging on your words, As if you were used to Your vapid lovers begging. You, You are the one who is so vain And so selfish to tell me What you don't like of my body, To make me feel undesirable. You, Who are not above anyone, Yet chose to make me look small And cut off my air Because you were done breathing. You, Who mistook me for a fool Because I acted like one, Because I fell for your words When they were a trap. You, You will get nothing from me, Not my anger, not my ear, Not a chance of redemption, I will not hold our memories. You, You will feel my wrath in The form of my absence, My cold silence. Now that I Found the voice, You had stolen from me Along with my self respect. Now I am furious with you, Boiling with rage, It is I, I who am the beautiful one I who am desired, I who am lovely, I who am worthy, I who am stronger than you, I who am making this choice. Now that I am furious with you, The spitting of venom cathartic, I am finished. I abandon you. I abandon us before I Become just as heartless.

The light and dark Tides of my life Swelled simultaneously

Waves that lifted me Battered me In their shore break

In my euphoria I waded Through so much pain

And the two have never Separated In their continuum

Poetry is just as visual As any other form of art.

The punctuation, the spacing, The length and width In the breaking of lines,

Thoughtful Arrangement Of words

Matters.

It matters as I am painting with letters.

It's part of the picture, The texture of poetry Is flowing, flowing.

Do you see? I ask,

D o  y o u  s e e  m e a n i n g?

You were there Maybe you didn't know You weren't aware

But was it fair Of me to ask you if you knew That you were there

To come back unannounced Just in the air around you

Well I was there When a storm came crashing down And soaked your hair

I was unprepared So startled when I woke From that nightmare

To find your hand on my heart Starting to repair

When it's dark And it's too quiet It all feels like too much to bear

But then you're there Even when I worry That you don't care

You know I worry too much Maybe it wears you down

And when I don't declare My presence Still I think you know

You knew I wasn't going anywhere Because you still know me

Next time we're there Let's go back to the meadow Where we put flowers in our hair

The people walking past Won't see us Sitting in our chairs

I said your name You turned your head It was just a whisper in the air

You knew it wasn't just the weather You can't see the wind

That's how I know That all this time you've known That I was there

I didn't put you on a pedestal for worship I lifted you up As high as you deserved Which was, of course, very high What is it like in the sky? I am grounded I promise It was never just the idea of you How I wish you would touch me down here

December is the month In which I first read your words The month in which I first struggled to understand You, the first time I was Puzzled by your language Which made such little sense Still I devoured every Letter you wrote to me

A dozen Decembers later I still find myself lost By your accidentally strategic Wording, the way in which You hide bits of yourself In silly metaphors In carefree excitement In your strongest convictions

December is the month In which I knew the depths Of your emotions, your thoughts Before I knew your voice Before I knew your face or Your touch felt with skin Before I knew your name or story Before I knew I could break You as I myself was breaking

A dozen Decembers passed And we are both healing We are the steady stream of Lovers light, of rain rivers Flowing down the sides of the Mountains we've formed over So many years of crashing plates Stand with me at the peak In our breathless altitude

It is December again My favorite month, it's when You came into my life so Unexpectedly, like a night Blizzard, I awoke to an enchanted World, and with each new year As each holiday I have with you Passes, we have our history And our memories, we have a Bond that strengthens our Relationship, wild and tender

Let me revel in these Small doses of sadness In their warmth, In that quick, biting Shot before blurriness

I find myself a sponge In a hot bath, soaking, Letting sadness fill me Until I become heavy

But in the small doses Measured in spoonfuls, In small bites, I cozy up with sadness Carrying it in my body

Even the wildest Of creatures Still long to be Held tightly Sometimes, If only for a Moment Even the freest Of beings Still long to be Kept in Someone's heart