There Are Many Places Where

Frost came and bit the earth, Snowflakes fell like feathers. Crystals landed cold upon me, Some were just the weather.

Icicles dripped upon my heart And froze it for forever, I think it beats in winter squalls, Although it's just the weather.

This is not poetry It's just me Adding line breaks To a thought

A firefly has been Coming to visit By the window While I lay in bed Unable to sleep

I've gone to the Window, hello little Light, little friend In the dark, you've Been great company

The firefly is Saying goodbye now It is leaving, it Won't visit again, It's moving on

Fly away firefly Fly away firefly I miss you already, I miss you and our Strange relationship

My grief feels large and heavy I have cried into buckets And now I am carrying them Around like a punishment

I can't let go, I refuse to I am tied to these burdens Rope raw against my skin For now I need this anguish

And I need you, the source of it Because I am crying for you For the inevitable absence of you I feel it so strongly already

If I can put my hand on a maple branch And feel its frozen bark If my fingers blanch At the remnants of snow Then it must be real, it must be so

But close your eyes, meet me in Rome I have been there Did you know? Or would you not agree? If I have never touched a cypress tree?

Here is my hand. Hold it, touch it, embrace it. The hand that reaches out for you Is a solid hand, a steady hand, A writer’s hand, A lover’s hand. It is your lover’s hand.

The hand you hold Is the hand that holds you. It is the hand that dries your tears, The hand that grazes your lips, The hand that is gentle with you, Strong with you, Passionate with you. It is the hand that is with you.

My hand feels you. My hand feels your heartbeat, Your breath, Your tension, The heat of your skin, The release of your stress, Your desire. It is the hand that desires you.

My hand alone sometimes trembles. Sometimes it is lost, Sometimes it is scared, Sometimes it’s unsteady. My hand is cold without yours, My hand needs yours to grab, Its fingers locked between yours. In your hand my hand is safe. Your hand is safe in mine.

Your hand is my hand, And mine yours. Where your hand goes Mine goes too. My hand goes with you. My hand is always with you.

Touch may not be necessary for me That warm, skin to skin connection Has never felt as vital as an emotional one

Until I find myself clawing at a stranger Until I am turning my head to the side Avoiding kisses, because that's too intimate And my body wasn't asking for intimacy

In all honesty, I don't even like being touched I avoid situations that involve closeness No need to hug anyone just for the hell of it

Until I wrap my arms around a lover Who's name I've mixed up with the last one's I never picture the ones I really crave Who's touches I am actually yearning for

Certainly I can live my life without touch I don't need it like I do good food or drink It does not sustain my soul like poetry does

Until I remember all the ways I've burned The way you struck your fingers like matches On my hands, on my lips, the entirety of me Inside our fire I have wanted and wanted

But that's really all distant memory now I think I'll slide touch up high on my bookshelf Somewhere between fantasy and memoir

All lights are fireworks Since we made permanent July. Whether sunshine Or warm showers My rain, my sky, It's a permanent July.

In these darker days Bloom yellow roses I've grown for you In secret gardens. Still I can't explain just why Each new month is still July.

Your earth is warm, It melts my snow, My rocks and stones Make roads for you. Sit with me, watch all pass by, In our private, permanent July.

River, you ran through me I, the earth, the soil Quiet and soft

So were you, you brought Your herons and their Nests, you brought your Guiding bends, The frogs that peeped Like a lullaby into dark sky

I made room for you In places I had been dry And steep, I let you in, You helped me heal, you made Waterfalls, or rather,

We made the waterfalls, And you made it safe for water To splash down, unharmed

River, when you touch sand You will meet the sea You will go where I cannot But you brought life to me,

Where there were rough cracks There are now reeds and moss And dragonflies

Leave me like a brook, Clearly, slowly, on rocks Glittering under the sun, I, the earth, am changed, Come twilight I will hear you River, flowing into the ocean

But there's a spring now, Fresh water will come And you have helped me trust it

Do not cry for the girl Who never became a woman She is still here Inside me, I am her She was not Replaced by a man She still lives in my body And is so free and light Bathing contently in The sunshine of my mind

Cry for those men and women, All those in between, Who had the strength To live openly Physically, Wonderfully visible, Awake for the first time, Cry for those who's lives Were ended simply for Stepping out of their cages