We Are So Entwined I Don't Know Which Love Is Yours Or Which Kiss Is Mine

"Be gentle with me" I say to myself, or to my thoughts I want to detach myself from them Thought and I Are not one in the same

Thoughts can be cruel tricksters Jokers and bandits They reside within me at times But they do not speak in my voice They snicker when I do not

"Be forgiving" I say to myself, in spite of my thoughts No one is as savage as they are Intruders, there is a "No Loitering" sign You can enter but you cannot stay

Your neck is a canvas For the brush of my lips Wondering if we ever Had a chance at innocence A roguish glance as We walk towards the church My hand tugging you Down the blustering Sidewalk of fluttering Freshly dying leaves

We stroll side by side With familiar ease A lifetime's worth Of rising, setting suns You wear my sweatshirt You smell like me And weave yourself into The fabric of my being Our love was never Just in the leaving

Climb up the steeple Ring the bell with me Summon the flock of sheep Do they know they Worship at our feet? In cold October mornings High above the chapel The two of us are no sin Up here on my knees I'll give you my sermon

I have no lover Solitude is my soulmate Solace is my cat

Dear reader, I'm sorry, no, I am not writing to you I am not writing about us This is not our story You do not know me. I write about a love That is unique to me And my own, that is as Endless as a ring, As permanent as ink That does not die With our bodies when Our flesh has gone. I am writing to my own Someone, it is about Me and them, not you, I am sorry.

Dear reader, You're right, yes, I am writing to you I am writing about us This is our story. You know the soul of me I write about a love That is unique to us, To each other, that is as Endless as a universe, As permanent as dye That never fades When the fabric of Our existence has gone. I am writing to you, My someone, it is about You and me, and you knew, You were right.

The house spider in my window Is resting for the winter It is her second year here She might not make it to spring She is thin and fragile now I will watch to see if she revives From her gentle hibernation What an impact she has had on me No creature is undeserving of love And I have had so much to give

I cut off my hair And the great weight of my life Fell away with it

My house was built under A dormant volcano For all my life, decades Spent in its looming shadow It has slept soundly

My house is barely furnished I keep bags packed And ready by the door Never have I slept soundly Or ever truly lived here

My impermanent lover Made out of snow I rolled him up Just the way I wanted Lumpy and imperfect

He was quiet and sturdy Such a stoic His embrace was cold And we both knew That this was a fling

A jealous squirrel Came and ate his nose Broke his arms Scrambled his face Kicked off his hat

I sat by my drooping Deformed man of ice For the snow had Been dripping and He refroze so crookedly

One day he fell down His heart melted How dramatic of him To die in a puddle As if it were romantic

I stand with my feet In the water Letting the icy waves Bury my feet in the sand Erasing my footprints So I had never Walked here

The water that touches me Touches you It glides along your ankles And the tide rushes over us Though we stand In different oceans

When I get home My cat looks at me The same way she did Back then Only the fur on her chin Is gray now Her eyes are watery

There's a tap on my shoulder I know it's you I look behind me And all I see is the door I turn the lock Turn off the front light Going to bed without you

You're in between the sheets Your blankets are green Mine are brown Together we must be Like the earth That connects us

The salt of the sea Is on my skin I think that you can smell it That with my eyes closed Your arms around me Whispering Take me back there

My cat settles herself In the bend of my knees I wonder if she remembers you As she yawns loudly Falling asleep soundly Just as I do

I am surprised by the softness And the intimacy of this moment I had expected your skin to have Thickened and grown rough with time I am surprised by the way I remember The taste of your lips pressing on mine Taken aback by the way we fit together Again like easily memorized lines

There is a sweetness to the salt Of the sweat that forms at your sides A familiarity to the way you look Lying wanting beneath my body I had expected you to look older But the love in your eyes is just bolder Are you remembering the reason for rhyme?

I had not expected your kiss to claim Not expected any longing to still remain I had not expected you to still be mine I had only imagined you naked and true Covered from head to toe in our rain I have been pouring over you all this time But I had not expected you to still be mine