Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

You’re immortal and have passed the ‘hero’ phase centuries ago. You enter a small corner shop one day to find it is owned by your millennia-old arch-nemesis. You really, really need milk though.

“You are the universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while”

I like the idea that humans are space orcs because of being walking trashbins which are a flaming wreckage of bodge jobs all the way down. Ships are floating clouds of debris under constant repair or... improvement. Space suits are held together with duct tape. We are literally covered in swarms of bacteria which are 50/50 on purpose or debilitating illness, not to mention filled up in side with the same.

Humans get sick or hurt and most aliens are just like "not sure if this is an infection, or if you'll die without it." The last time anyone tried to repair a human operated ship, the resulting explosion blasted a nearby moon through a wormhole into orbit around a different planet.

Even human genetics is a total trashpile, junk genes, weird extra DNA that no one knows what it does, former viruses, you name it, somewhere down the line humans just vacuumed up everything into the go-juice and stacked it up like a genetic hoarder. The study of human biology is half occult science half transmutation until one guy starts breaking it down and discovers chunks of hundreds of other alien genetics and basically it turns out Earth was a kind of "makeout point" back in the days of primordial ooze and was filled so full of outer space ejaculate that under a modern day equivalent of black light it still glows brighter than the sun.

Y/N: Here's a fun idea: we hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing the person we're caught underneath with, we have to FIGHT them.

Steve: No doll, we're not doing that.

Bucky, nodding: Mistlefoe.

Steve: Buck, DON'T encourage her-

there is something so darkly comical about tumblr potentially outliving twitter

tumblr, which is held together with duct tape and madness, run by three raccoons in blood stained Yahoo! hats and a handful of crabs, its only discernible source of income the sale of shoelaces from an inside joke so inside no one knows the original source anymore and fake blue checkmarks... that website still lives on

truly the cockroach of social media and I love it for that

Steve: i’m by section

Steve: i’m buy

Steve: i’m bicentennial

Sam: it’s okay, take your time

Steve:

Steve: bucky