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Terrified Texan

I'm honestly terrified of being out in public now. I look Arab, even though I'm not. I'm born and raised in Texas. I'm gay. Maybe it's my paranoid schizophrenia, but I truly believe I will have to be careful when I'm out alone. I believe my looks were part of an assault by a police officer when I was travelling through west Texas. White people tell me I'll be fine. They say we'll get through this. But this isn't another Bush administration. This is this the xenophobic, homophobic, "disenfranchised", evangelical, white supremacist majority that incorrectly sees me as the enemy. With both Bush elections I was disappointed, but I wasn't terrified. I didn't joke about moving, I took democracy in stride and kept living my life. I jokingly get called terrorist, when I'm a native Texan. I get weird stares on the train and bus because I'm brown, and I was born in the US. I get searched every plane ride, even though I'm half white. In fact, I'm half Irish descent and half Indian descent. But I'm too brown for whites and too American for browns. I don't fit in, so I tend to stand out. And in doing so, I draw the ire and looks of others. There's too much hate and uncertainty in the world. This has always bred fascism, nationalism, and totalitarianism. And that's why I'm afraid. These ideals just won majority in the most powerful nation state in the world. And here I am, just wondering why people rationalize hate. Why has my country betrayed me? I'm truly worried for my safety in public. This wasn't the America I was promised under Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Obama. My first political memory was watching the Berlin Wall fall. And now, my home will be building one. Winter is coming.

i think sometimes trauma survivors fall into this place where it’s very hard to believe that anything that happened to you was that bad. and the only proof you have that it was that bad is that you’re suffering. and so healing can be really scary and difficult because it means giving up the only tangible evidence you have that you were traumatized in the first place 

haha well i have no idea what i’m doing in my future and my dreams are dying in my hands and my chest hurts and i never sleep and my mouth tastes like sand and my entire body is filled with a silent scream but yeah i’m doing fine thanks for asking

If too many people assume Clinton has the election locked down, and use that assumption as their basis for not voting for her, she could lose. But even if the assumption is right—even if you’re a young progressive from California who believes with excellent reason that your vote won’t possibly be decisive—the Tribune’s line of thinking comes at a hefty price. This year the “lesser of two evils” rationale isn’t just an uninspiring appeal to risk aversion. It’s about making a positive and important statement to the world that in America, a racist authoritarian can not get within a hair’s breadth of the presidency—and that, if one happens to become a major party nominee, he will be defeated soundly.

There Is Only One Message for Voters to Send in This Election (via wilwheaton)

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This was such a great message.

This resonates with me. My brother is disabled and under the purview of MHMR, and I'm well on my way since my psychotic break. We're both POC and I'm gay. I also look Muslim, even though I'm not, but most of this country can't tell the difference between brown people making my visage all the more dangerous to have. I've also been sexually assaulted.

My PTSD says to be terrified. My paranoid schizophrenia is already pretty terrified. My depression is shutting me down. My anxiety will not abate, and has been a constant companion since the debates. Being in public is terrifying. As terrifying as it was to be in Kuwait in 2007, and introduced to Iraqis as American, during the war. (The only time I'm considered American is oversees, go figure.)

I consider myself Texan, born and raised, but I'm never considered a fully fledged person because some facet of my personality is constantly being denied rights, equal treatment, or under threat of those rights being revoked. When these benefits will be taken away, I'll not only lose any security left, but I'll also be viewed as less than a fully formed person because my rights will be nonexistent and the rights I still have will be misapplied and overlooked for not fitting in to any group. And don't get me started on being ignored and mistreated by other minority groups for not fitting in with them.

Please stop excluding disabled people in your posts about minorities who are being affected by the election results. Disabled people in the US are being affected too and we matter.

Watch: Stephen Colbert is so f*cking done with Trump’s bullshit.