She's often accused of playing the victim, that's a big line in like the Kanye stuff, and so on, like she's self-victimizing. But to me, what's actually kind of interesting, and it's almost an artistic flaw of hers, is that she is unable to be the victim. Like, in Dear John, which is one of her best songs, she has that, you burned all the other girls you date out, but not me, I got your matches before you could burn me. And so like, she actually doesn't play the victim, she's just kind of honest. Like, if somebody releases a music video of you with like, a giant nude wax Taylor doll, she'll be like, that's kind of revenge porn and I don't like it. That's just hitting back, right? So like, what actually irritates people about her is her refusal to be the victim of a situation, but like, they call it playing the victim.
B.D. McClay, Know Your Enemy: Taylor Swift Derangement Syndrome
i’m weak
(art by momoya348)
It had been ten years since the war ended. Ten years since you’ve seen George Weasley.
You always called him your “one that got away”, back in school you were friendly, but during your sixth year together you had grown close. To everyone else it seemed inevitable that you two would end up together, yet it never had the chance to grow, as the twins took off to start their joke shop the next year. Any would be romance between you was effectively smothered to death by the distance.
And then the war. The war provided the last nail in the coffin for that romance. All your time being spent in hiding and providing aid to those in need.
It had been ten years since Fred had died. And during that time, you joined the muggle world again, trying to find yourself. You had heard George had started a relationship with Fred’s ex-girlfriend Angelina. That it had moved too quick for it to be healthy for either of them, but it ended soon after their daughter Roxanne had been born, the pair separating amicably. Or so you’ve heard from your friends who keep tabs on that kind of stuff. Not that you kept up with his life, or so you like to tell yourself.
And now you stand in front of George, a different version of the man you had once known so well. He had aged significantly, though you’re sure losing a brother and having a kid will do that to one. You could see a streak of white in his hair, bringing together this new look for him. He was like a bottle of old wine, only getting better with age.
Awkwardly, you make small talk. Then you start joking. And for a brief bit of time, everything feels alright. You see George laughing like he used to do in school, when you’d sneak into the kitchen and steal the left over pastry’s and gossip about what happened in class that day. There’s still that same sadness in his eyes, but through the cracks you can see that recognizable light.
Things may not be the same as they were back in Hogwarts, but that isn’t what you both need now. Perhaps, it’s better that you both find what a relationship could be now that you’ve both grown.
i know “slut!” took everyone off guard because we thought it was going to be blank space on steroids, but there’s something beautiful and quietly brave about naming a song after the word she was branded as by the public and then have it be a tender and fragile little song about falling in love instead
“i’m working late, cause im a singer”
paring: idol!anton x barista!reader
word count: 1.8k
synopsis: at the end of a particularly bad shift you meet a sweet (and very cute) guy who makes all of your frustrations of the day disappear.
genre: fluff
warnings: none except for the fact that there are references to the dialogue being in korean
now playing:
as the last customer in the shop was getting ready to leave, you checked the tip jar to see if anyone left anything (not like they ever did). just like everytime before, it was empty. you sighed and plopped down on the ground of the shop. you rested your head on the counter and sighed slightly deeper this time, you just wanted to get home and sleep.
as you hear the bell at the door jingle you sigh and stand up to go lock it, thinking it was the customer finally leaving. you assumed she was a high school student due to her youthful appearance and her backpack, looking like she only came for a quiet place to study.
once you stood up and turned around, you were met with the face of a mind blowingly handsome young man. you were going to say something but nothing came out as you looked at him. he looked so familiar for some reason. maybe he was a regular who you’ve seen a very times before in between shifts of something.
as he saw your struggle to form a thought in your head, he smiled. god, his smile was pretty. you shook your head slightly to get yourself out of your thoughts.
you wanted to tell him how the shop was closed. how you were just about to lock up, but something told you not to. we thank that something, whatever it was.
“u-uh, give me one second! i want to lock up so no one else can come inside.” you say before speed walking towards the door to lock it. you flipped the “open” sign around so it reads “closed” to the outer eye.
once your back behind the counter, you smiled at him. “what can i get for you tonight?” you asked while putting both hands on the counter.
he looked up at the menu before looking back at you, returning you smile. “can i get an iced americano?” he asked with a soft voice, sending warmth up your neck to your ears.
“americano? this late at night?” he smiled sheepishly and nodded. you smiled back, putting his order in the system.
“will that be all? no cookies, brownies, croissants, cake pops, nothing?” you asked jokingly causing him to chuckle a bit. even his laugh is pretty.
“i wasn’t planning on it, but now im reconsidering” he said while looking in the display case. he pointed at a cookie, it was just a regular sugar cookie. “i’ll take one of those please”
you giggled at him and added it to his order. “heated or regular?”
“heated is fine”
you nodded in response. “okay, now will that be all?” you asked teasingly and he returned with a small nod. “yeah, yeah that’s it”
“okay, can i get a name for the order please?” he looked around the cafe in a teasing manner and leaned in closely as if there’s someone else there. “do you really need my name if there’s no one else here?” he asked scrunching up his face in what you swear is the most adorable way ever.
“it wasn’t for the order, just my personal knowledge” you say while following his actions with caused him to laugh again. he realized that you seriously didn’t know his name.
“i suppose it wouldn’t hurt if i tell you then” he replied, “anton” he said with an even bigger smile than before.
you tilted your head to the side and stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. you’ve heard that name before, but maybe it’s from one of your american tv shows you watched.
“your a foreigner?” you asked and he nodded in response. you smiled and asked in broken english, “you speak english?”
hearing you say that with such a confident smile made him laugh out loud. “yeah,” he replied in english, “i grew up in the U.S, new jersey specifically” he said and you just stared at him in confusion, blinking a bit more frequently.
“i can’t speak english” you said, switching back to korean which made him laugh. “i know, you weren’t fooling anyone” he replied jokingly, causing you ears to burn. thank god your hair was covering them. “all i really said was that i grew up in new jersey”
“well that sucks then” you say with a playful pout while walking to get his cookie. “i was practiced that all year” and he started to laugh again. “in that case, you did an amazing job” he says while starting to pull out his wallet.
you noticed and looked at him with a small smile. “it’s on me” you say, which causes him to look at you a bit taken aback. “no, it’s okay, really” you say before closing the ticket, making it impossible for him to pay for it himself.
he just stared at you with what you assumed was a blush but honestly, it could have been the horrible lighting for you brushed it off. your eyesight was never the best anyway.
you started to shew him off with you hand. “go, go sit down” you say with a smile. “seriously, don’t worry about it”
“thank you, although you didn’t have to-“ before he could finish his sentence, you were already shaking his drink so you couldn’t even hear his protests.
you knew your mom wouldn’t care that you wouldn’t even pay for the drink. normally she would probably be upset that you put the order “on the house” and didn’t even pay it, but you knew she would let it slide if she found out it was because of a boy. been trying to get you married since you were 8, you only just turned 20.
as your pouring his drink in the cup, a song starts to play faintly on the speakers. it was a song that you added to the playlist yourself actually. one of your friends suggested it to you and you really liked it.
she was always going on and on about some kpop group called riize, but honestly, you weren’t really listening to her. the only reason you got her to shut up about them around you was because you promised to listen to a song from them, the song being “memories”.
you stated to write his name on the cup with a sharpie while singing the lyrics softly and then it dawned on you.
familiar face.
familiar name.
foreigner.
grew up in new jersey.
getting coffee at 9 at night.
“yeah, the maknae of the group, anton, gives off really similar vibes as you. if you two knew each other you would be great friends, i swear”
all the boxes checked.
you looked up at him with slightly parted lips as you were in shock. he was already staring at you with a smug smile.
you opened you mouth to say something, but you quickly shut it, not knowing what to say in this situation. you finished writing his name and grabbed his cookie from the toaster oven.
you handed him his order and he started to chuckle. “i was suprised you didn’t realize sooner actually.” he says with a small smirk.
you, not knowing what to say, look down and chuckled. “i knew you looked familiar, i just didn’t know why.” you say while you ears heat up again. your almost 90% sure that your face is pretty red too.
he chuckled again and ruffled you hair slightly. “don’t feel bad, we didn’t even debut a year ago yet”
you finally looked back up at the feeling, your head still tingling from his touch and you nodded. your mom definitely wouldn’t be mad now.
as you walked him to the door so you could unlock he smiled and says, “i’ll definitely be dropping by more often. send me your work schedule” he waved you goodbye and started to walk down the street. “wait! i don’t have your number!” you say and he just shrugged.
you rolled your eyes and walked back into the cafe, locking the door behind you and getting ready to actually close for the night.
you walk up to the tip jar and noticed that there was way more in that than the last time you checked. in fact, there was nothing in there the last time you checked. you grab the money and started to count it. $9.04. the same amount as his order.
he still payed.
at the bottom of the jar, there was a napkin. instead of crumbling it like you normally would, your gut told you not to. you flipped the napkin around and smiled when you saw writing on it.
“surprise i guess! you’ll find to learn im not really the best listener lol. i (hopefully) told you to send me your schedule, here’s my number: (xxx) xxx-xxxx.
-lee anton from jersey :3
(p.s, it’s totally okay if you don’t text me, just know i’m waiting for it just in case. don’t leave me hanging! but if you do that’s totally okay too)”
lee anton…what am i gonna do with you?
a/n: GUYS BE PROUD OF ME!! I WAS ABLE TO REMEMBER AND WRITE THE STORY AGAIN 😭😭 normally i get frustrated and don’t want to write it again BUTT i wrote this all in one sitting. and we all cheered!!
This hair style is everything
A dancer dies twice
LeonKennedy x ballet!fem!reader
Summary: Leon attends ballet performances from time to time and a certain dancer caught his eye. An unexpected turn occurred and the favored ballet dancer stopped performing, causing Leon’s heart to break a little.
Warning: comfort/angst. mention of depression and weight loss. not proofread lol. nothing sexual but still.
a/n: I’ve been having this idea for quite some time lol. Why did I stop ballet dancing? Idk, I was a dumb kid lmao.
“A dancer dies twice - one when they stop dancing, and this first death is painful.”
The curtains were closed as Leon walked towards his reserved seat in the house. He wasn’t like other people nowadays dressing causally, he dressed up in his fancy suit. The first button of his dress shirt unbuttoned, just the way he always preferred. He finally got himself a small vacation and what better way to enjoy the weekend than watching a group of people dance along to Tchaikovsky?
He shifted in his seat as he looked over the pamphlet of the acts. He doesn’t know a thing about ballet but he does know that he likes the emotions conveyed in the way the dancers move. Whether it was the betrayal in Swan Lake or the serene feeling of the sugarplum fairy from The Nutcracker, he loved it all. But he would never admit it to his colleagues.
The orchestra began to play in a crescendo as the curtains pulled open, revealing a group of white dressed ballerinas huddled in a circle. And that’s when that serene feeling came. The ballerinas danced in their point shoes as their skirts moved gracefully every time they did a pirouette. It felt magical and he felt a sense of relief. Leon was an analytical guy, he analyzes everything he sees and tonight was no different. For tonight, he noticed a certain new dancer. Her hair tied up in the same bun as the other ballerinas but somehow it looked better on her. The white corset she was wearing hugged her lean figure just right, her arms moved under the spotlight swiftly. As if she was a doll. This was her performance.
Leon kept attending each time he could just to watch her. To watch the way her arm and leg angled perfectly at every arabesque she did, her grand jeté followed by the common chassé. She was just breathtaking. As if her purpose was to dance all night. And she did. She was the white swan. She was Clara. For months he watched as she slowly took over the main roles, she was that good.
But all that good came down with a price. Recently, he noticed the way she started to appear less and less. She danced the lesser roles now. And he couldn’t help but wonder why? Was she okay? Is she taking care of herself? For nights he felt worried. He even searched up her name online to find her social media. But the poor man couldn’t find it. It’s like all she did was perform.
Until one day, he spotted her walking down the street from her dance studio. He was out for a smoke when he saw her in her practice clothes, backpack over her shoulders as she walked towards her car. His eyes widened at the sight and he quickly threw his cigarette on the floor and put it out with his foot. He looked both ways before crossing the street and began to make his way towards her.
She didn’t notice until he spoke out to her, “Hey, you performed last week, right?” He asked even though he knew the answer already. She turned around and looked at him surprised but quickly smiled politely.
“Yes, I did. Did you enjoy the show?” She asked in her quiet voice, she seemed tired. He couldn’t help but nod as he looked down at her. “Yeah- you were amazing.” He mumbled under his breath, his heart beating fast as he began to feel his ears turn pink. She was even more beautiful up close.
And god was her laugh even more breathtaking. She giggled at his words and that only made him want to make her laugh even more. Just to hear that beautiful laugh.
It’s been a few days after their exchange and he couldn’t help but feel like a teenage boy for being able to get her Instagram. Turns out she purposely hid her account from the ballet house. Makes sense since she looked like the type to not want to be bombarded with messages from strangers.
They texted for some time and he kept attending her shows. He even bought her flowers after one performance in which she got the main role again. His heart nearly bursted into little pieces as he watched the look of surprise and joy on her face when she saw the flowers. He wanted to make this girl happy, as much as he could. So he kept bringing her gifts. And she kept them in a special memory box. It was all so romantic.
One day, she was walking home from dance practice with her headphones on. She was talking to Leon on the phone about some minor things like how much her feet hurt and how she needed new shoes. And he listened to her, no matter how much she talked because she talked a lot. He took in every word and analyzed it. Should he buy her the shoes? He would gladly spend his money on her if it meant she’ll keep dancing. If it meant she’ll keep following her dreams.
It was all going great until she noticed a car swerving slightly. She shrugged and kept walking as she talked to Leon over the phone. The car kept getting closer and closer until it swerved right into her direction. Her instincts jumped in and she was able to dodge the car, but her leg got caught under the tire. She screamed in pain and Leon quickly tracked down her location. He got his keys and drove to her, he didn’t care how fast he was going. He needed to be there, he needed to help her.
When he parked on the side of the road, he saw her holding on her leg as the driver staggered in his walk. He was drunk, Leon thought to himself. A drunk driver just ran over a dancer. A ballet dancer’s worst dream came true in the snap of a finger. Leon felt a lot of things. Anger, frustration, sadness, he felt it all. And his heart broke even more as he saw how much she was crying. He ran to her side and quickly called the ambulance.
He sat waiting in the lobby of the hospital as she was undergoing surgery. She had suffered a bone fracture and needed immediate medical attention. He stayed up as much as he could and waited for her. He would ask any doctor how she was doing, and honestly, no one told him anything yet.
Her assigned doctor finally came out and approached Leon. He told him that she was currently sleeping from the anesthesia but that he could see her. And he rushed towards the room she was in.
He saw how she laid on the bed, peacefully sleeping. He saw how she had wires tied to her arm. He heard the sound of her heart monitor beep at a normal pace. He slowly approached her and sat on the chair next to her bed. Leon took her hand and squeezed it gently. He couldn’t do anything except wait for her to open her eyes.
And he waited.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked around as her vision tried to adjust to the harsh hospital lights. She looked down at Leon’s head resting on her bed as he held on to her hand. She smiled softly until she looked down at the cast on her leg. Her face fell and her heart shattered.
Her quiet sobs reached Leon’s ears and he woke up immediately. He cupped her face with his hands and brought her to his chest as she cried. She wrapped her hands around his back and held on to him. Her whole passion and dreams were now gone. And it wasn’t even her fault.
She spent months in her bed, getting up only to eat and go to the bathroom. But that was it. Leon took the liberty to take care of her. To bathe her, to feed her, to try and distract her. But she always had that emptiness in her eyes. Her light was gone and she was no longer under the spotlight. The ballet house had to let her go since her leg was so injured she couldn’t dance ballet anymore. She could dance but just not ballet. And it broke her soul.
She would no longer wait for the curtains to open, she would no longer dance along to the orchestra, she would no longer spot Leon sitting among the crowd watching her. It was all gone.
Leon slept on the couch as he took care of her. But even from the living room he could hear her cries. He noticed the way she lost her muscle and lost weight.
He walked to her room and sat down on the side of the bed with food. “You need to eat, y/n…” he spoke softly as he laid his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not hungry.”
He couldn’t do anything but frown. He didn’t want to force her to get better but he also hated seeing her in this state. He would do anything to go back in time and prevented the whole thing from even happening.
He helped her shower, kneeling down against the bathtub as she had her back to him. She had her knees on her chest and hugged her legs. His fingers gently massaged the shampoo into her scalp. It wasn’t anything sexual. He was just trying to help her.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled under her breath as he poured water down her hair to wash off the shampoo. He furrowed his brows and replied back in a soft voice, “What for?”
She rested her chin on her knees and continued, “For all of this. I feel like a burden to you. You could be doing better things but instead you’re taking care of my depressed ass…”
His heart broke again, his fingers stopped going through her wet hair as he tried to think of a way to reply to her. “You’re not a burden… I chose to take care of you, none of this is your fault…” he whispered softly. She frowned as he kept washing her hair, “I know but… I just feel so… empty.”
He couldn’t do anything except stare at the back of her head with a sad look. He kept washing her hair and her body in silence. He wasn’t a man of words but he hoped that his actions spoke for the lack communication. He hoped she took his actions as a way of comfort. Because he knows what it’s like to lose something you love. He knows that feeling all too well.
He helped her into some new pajamas and tucked her to bed. He was about to leave when she took hold of his wrist, “Stay.”
She wanted him to stay.
And he did. He laid down next to her on the bed. She laid her head on his chest and cried. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. His shirt getting wet from her tears but he didn’t care. Leon ran his hand through her hair as the other rubbed her back gently. Her hands gripped on his shirt as she sobbed.
Her head remained on his chest as she slept after crying. And he did not move. He stayed like he told her to. Not because he was forced, but because he wanted to.
And he’d stay all the time if he was able to.
BOYFRIEND! JAE
💛 this is making me wanna listen to her fearless era again!
the other side of the door
satoru gojo x f!reader
**part of my gojo as taylor series
--
tsumiki and megumi fushiguro unknowingly cause a damper on your relationship.
you can feel satoru gloating at your side, his cheek nearly flush with yours, as you click the little arrow on your laptop.
your very meticulously made google calendar was perfect – a play by play of what you were doing at every second of the day – but at the current moment, was very deeply betraying you.
“we’re already a whole month back, sweetheart.” satoru murmurs.
you bite down on the softness of your cheek, sinking back against the headboard as you keep clicking, for the smallest sliver of light blue in your calendar.
it was a little on the nose, but it was the calendar that you shared with satoru – the one that marked all the special events like dates, anniversaries and the like.
and at the current moment, much to your disbelief and to the point that he had been trying to convince you of for the past hour, there had been an absence of him for weeks now.
you throw in the towel at the tenth consecutive click (silently ignoring that it means that it’s been well over two months now) and slam your computer shut, before turning over to him and frowning.
“you’ve made your point.” you murmur.
satoru grins, gloating in full flesh at the meekness in your voice, as he beckons for you to scoot closer to him on the bed. you absentmindedly lean your head against his shoulder, a motion that he welcomes with a quiet kiss on your forehead.
“have we really not done anything together in more than ten weeks?” you mumble.
you used to go on dates almost every week. satoru was as spontaneous as it got – any day that you spent with him was almost a guarantee of nothing not going to plan.
it meant going to the beach in the middle of the night, an unplanned road trip on your day off, and everything in between.
or it used to mean that.
satoru pauses for a second, almost like he’s milling over the thought, as he rubs circles into the side of your bicep.
“it’s just been a while since it’s been just you and me.” satoru notes.
you sigh. you suppose you worded it wrong the first time.
toji fushiguro dying unknowingly put a damper on your relationship.
because he left megumi and tsumiki in your wake and two kids – two kids that you had done nothing to prepare for – can and most certainly did turn things upside down.
it meant that satoru had to work more at the school, that you having any sliver of free time was less, and that the amount of stress you had was through the roof.
the two of them came with their own special resort of problems – of things that you couldn’t help but worry about.
megumi wasn’t too fond of satoru. they had their rare moments, but there was something about him that was extremely closed off, to everyone, but to you a little less. and to satoru, extremely so.
his requests to you always came in quietly, asking you to stay next to him until he fell asleep, to forgive him for fighting at school all the time, to promise to never leave him. on the flip side, his irritation with satoru was something that he made sure everyone was aware of.
tsumiki was very fond of satoru, but she was of most people. sometimes it felt a little obsessive that way – the way she was a little bit too close to her friends at school, the teacher in her class, and satoru.
he thought it was sweet, and at most times you were inclined too as well, but the obsession with being so close all the time was concerning.
and possibly even more than that, that most of the things you saw felt like they were a figment of your imagination, because satoru was so blind to their plight.
he didn’t worry about them as much as you did. but sometimes it felt like he didn’t see exactly what it was that you saw – tsumiki awkwardly pushing her food around the plate, red scratches all over megumi’s arms towards the end of the week, and matching pairs puffy eyes when they came down for breakfast in the morning.
though it wasn’t entirely his fault either. because by some turn of luck, every time they were around him they smiled – laughed at his dumb jokes, turned their nose up at the impressions he did of all of their teachers, and snuck into his classroom between periods to get snacks.
satoru pokes at the side of your temple.
“don’t feel too bad now. i know this entire thing has been stressful. especially for you.” he murmurs.
you shrug.
“you seem to be taking it just fine.” you note.
satoru shrugs.
“i can tell that most of your stress comes from what they’re doing at school. who megumi is fighting with, tsumiki’s friends – i can’t really relate to that because i’m right there with them. granted, tsumiki is two classes up, but her teacher gives me updates all the time.” satoru responds.
you give him a quiet nod.
“and since i’m there, i can tell you that they’re fine. he hasn’t fought with anyone in a few weeks now. and tsumiki is really excited to go to this dance.”
you groan.
“that dance you signed me up to chaperone for?” you groan.
“the very same. it’ll be fun.”
you curl your nose in disgust.
“spending my very limited free time giving snacks to a bunch of sweaty kids and asking them to not grind on each other isn’t my idea of fun, satoru. and some of your co-workers freak me out.”
satoru elbows you in the side.
“suguru will be there. and plus, it’ll be good for me. you’ll be my date.” satoru responds.
you lean back against the headboard.
“you didn’t even ask me to the dance.”
“it’s sadie hawkins, y/n. girls ask boys, silly.” he responds, flicking at the softness of your cheek.
you sigh, before turning to him and giving a smile. his hair is slightly damp from the shower he just took, skin still soft from the warmth of the shower. and it’s the thing that you worry about most.
you’ve slipped away from him because he let you. that you neglected him because of the kids, but at some point, he became so accustomed to it, that it didn’t even bother him anymore.
“are you going to go to the dance with me, satoru?”
he gives you a glimmering smile.
“i thought you’d never ask peach.”
--
satoru marks it with a big pink heart on the calendar the next morning.
“what’cha looking at?” you ask, placing your hands on the tops of both of their heads and ruffling their hair.
“the heart.” megumi states.
you hum in response, crouching down to be level with their heads. megumi welcomes the touch, leaning back against your knees, as tsumiki nestles her face in the crook of your neck.
“it’s for the dance.” you respond.
megumi groans.
“does that mean miss miwa is going to come over to our house for dinner?” megumi asks.
you frown.
“and why would miss miwa come to our house for dinner?” you ask.
you would rather die than invite miss miwa over to dinner.
kasumi miwa was tsumiki’s seventh grade teacher who you had the displeasure of meeting three times, each in the worst possible circumstances.
masked in faceforward politeness and her flashy personality, she had no reservations in correcting you each time you made a mistake when it came to the kid. that pick-up time was at two-thirty, not three-fifteen, that the projects were due at the end of the month, that the formal uniforms were for wednesday and wednesday only.
tsumiki was overly fond of her, satoru had nothing but good things to say about her, and megumi wasn’t a fan – but that was the norm, so you didn’t think much of it and kept it to yourself.
your sneaking suspicion about her were ones that you kept to yourself. and one that you didn’t even have time to worry about anyways.
“isn’t that what you do when you take someone to a dance? eat dinner together before?” megumi asks.
“who is taking miss miwa to the dance?” you ask.
“gojo, obviously.” tsumiki responds, shuffling away from the calendar to her seat on the dining table.
you can feel the muscles in your shoulder tense, a terse stiffness in your neck as you ponder over the thought.
megumi follows suit and you trail behind the two of them, keen to poke for more details. you note that tsumiki’s already made a mess of the food on her plate by swirling it around, as you take a seat in between them.
“and why would gojo obviously be taking miss miwa to the dance?” you ask.
“because he’s her work husband.”
you narrow your eyes at her, gesturing for her to explain.
“you’re his home wife. well, i know you guys aren’t actually married, but you’re his person here. and miss miwa is his work wife. she’s basically like what you are to him, but just at school.”
you sigh, as you reach for the glass of orange juice and down it in one go. megumi spares you a weird glance, before miwa continues.
“tsumiki.” megumi states, voice cautionary as he flits his eyes at you.
she misses the hint entirely.
“he eats breakfast with you, but lunch with her. and they’re planning the entire dance together so they spend a lot of time together. she even gets him coffee in the mornings.”
so that’s why he stopped asking you to make it for him.
it’s right at that moment that satoru shuffles into the kitchen, his tie hanging around his neck, as he scoots closer to you on the chair. it’s a chaste kiss that he presses to your cheek, before eating, and you can’t help but wonder.
was he so despondent because he had already found your replacement?
“you have to come by an hour early today. we’re having a meeting for the chaperones.” satoru states.
you give him a quiet nod as he leans back and you loop the knot through his tie. he gives you a glimmering smile as you tap the top of his shoulders, signaling that you’re done.
“save me a seat?” you ask.
“always.”
the thought doesn’t leave your mind the entire day.
--
you arrive thirty minutes early, an overly sweet coffee in your hand as a gift for satoru, as you make your way over to his classroom. the hallways are quiet, sparsely decorated lockers, as you turn the corner and enter his classroom.
only to find an absence of snow white hair and miwa excitedly scribbling on the board instead.
you knock on the door twice, watching as miwa turns over with a sickly sweet smile, and strolls over to where you’re standing.
“y/n. it’s so great to see you!” she states, wrapping her cold arms around you as she gives you an awkward embrace.
you spare her a polite smile.
“you too. how is tsumiki doing?”
“she aced her spelling test. she ran all the way over here to show satoru her result and took a whole picture with us to celebrate.”
satoru. you wondered when they had pranced into first name basis territory. if miwa ran over here with tsumiki each time, and how many pictures the three of them had taken together.
“that’s sweet. thank you for helping her out, that means a lot.” you respond.
“and thank you! you’re so sweet for helping with the dance. i know how busy you’ve been.”
you pause.
“what do you mean?”
“satoru just mentioned to me a few times that you guys haven’t had any time to yourself because of how busy you are.”
so he was talking about you to her too?
“yeah. things have been hard to adjust to with the kids and all and i’ve been putting in more hours at work to pay for the karate and piano classes and all that. but he understands.”
she slightly twitches her eye. you wonder if she does it on purpose.
“oh, of course he does. you’re doing very important work.”
you swallow hard.
“you too.” you respond.
“i mean, it’s just so rewarding. especially getting to be so close with students like tsumiki, after she lost her family so suddenly. i couldn’t imagine.”
you sigh.
“i mean. she lost her dad, but she still has a family.”
“of course she does! you’re putting in a great effort –”
it’s right at that moment that satoru walks in, eyes wide as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your cheek. you can still feel the tenseness simmering under your skin, misplaced anger for him festering in your head, as you offer him the drink..
“for me? you shouldn’t have.” satoru responds, exaggerating by placing a hand over his chest.
you shake your head as satoru wraps his arm around your shoulder, leading you to one of the desks right at the front. he shakes the coffee in front of you, as you deny the offer and lean forward on your chin.
“miwa and i are leading the meeting so i can’t sit with you. but i told shoko and suguru to sit right next to you, which is basically the same thing.”
you smile.
“shoko looks just like you! i can barely tell the difference.” you deadpan.
“don’t go kissing her now.”
“i make zero promises.”
satour gives you a glimmering grin.
right at that second, there’s three consecutive knocks at the door, accompanied with a set of spiky black hair at the door slightly peeking into the room.
“you can come in megumi.” satoru responds.
megumi drops his backpack at the door, fast steps dragging him to where you and satoru are sitting. he taps impatiently on your thigh, gesturing for you to pick him up, as you secure him into your lap and rest your head on top of his.
“always interrupting our alone time, aren’t you kid?” satoru jokes.
“and why are you not in class?” you ask.
“it’s passing period.” miwa answers.
you turn your head to where she’s standing – chalking assignments onto the board – as megumi sneers, giving her a very steady glare.
“why are you not in your class?” megumi asks.
“i’m leading the meeting with mr. gojo for the dance.”
“isn’t that meeting in twenty minutes? why are you here early?”
you lightly nudge megumi in the side, taken aback by his tone, as you turn towards miwa and giving her a polite smile.
“he doesn’t mind, he’s just not feeling well. please feel free to stay.” you respond.
“i was planning to.” miwa responds.
you ignore the strange response as you lightly tug at megumi’s ear, whispering in a hushed tone.
“i do mind.” megumi mumbles.
“well, you don’t tell people that. she isn’t doing anything, so just pretend like she’s not there.”
you sigh, turning to satoru and frowning. you know he gets the message, as he leans forward and pinches at megumi’s cheek.
“you’ve got to stop giving y/n so much stress, kid. she’s going to get an ulcer at this point.” satoru states.
“i could say the same thing to you.” megumi responds, in a matter-of-fact tone.
satoru looks up at you, a shadow of a smile on his face, as he crosses his arms over his chest and questions megumi.
“oh yeah? and how am i stressing her out, huh?”
“you have another wife.” megumi states.
you pinch at megumi’s elbow.
“another wife? i didn’t even realize that i had one to begin with.” satoru responds.
you give satoru a smile.
“tsumiki said that miss miwa is your work wife. and y/n doesn’t like that because she should be your only wife.”
satoru’s eyes widen, as he dramatically places a hand over his chest, before dropping to his knees and looking up at you.
“y/n, if you wanted me to marry you, you should have just said so. i’ll marry you right here, right now.”
you snort, turning to megumi, as you whisper in his ear.
“he’s completely crazy, right?” you ask.
“absolutely. i think you should cut your losses. you could do way better.”
satoru spares you a laugh, before reaching for megumi and tickling at his sides.
“you should cut your losses, kid. i’m revoking dessert privileges for attempted coercion”
megumi looks up at you, eyes expectant as he waits for corroboration. you shake your head, which earns you a playful smile from megumi, as he looks over at satoru and sticks his tongue out.
“oh come on. we’re supposed to be a team.” satoru whines.
“you haven’t pledged your allegiance. you and tsumiki ganged up on me the other night.”
“well, we had a valid reason. we should definitely get ice cream after dinner.” satoru states.
“not when it’s a school night and they have to wake up early next the day. you don’t want them to be late to class. again.”
satoru sighs, before placing his hands on his hips.
“speaking of class, you should be getting to yours. c’mon megs, i’ll walk you. say bye to y/n.”
you crouch down on your knees, giving megumi a pinch on the cheek, as he glares at you. he sticks his hand out, the tow of you doing your complicated and convoluted handshake, before megumi and satoru stroll out of the classroom.
“your relationship with megumi is very sweet.” miwa states.
you had almost forgotten she was there. you turn your head to find that she’s seated at satoru’s desk, pulling up slides for the projector on the computer, as you awkwardly rub your sweaty palms together.
“thank you. he’s just a little shy, that’s all. he didn’t mean to be rude earlier.” you state.
miwa hums in response.
“i hope you aren’t upset about the work wife thing. it was just a silly little inside joke that satoru, tsumiki, and i had come up with.”
you narrow your eyes at her.
“just because we spend so much time together. lunch, the development workshops, and emailing in between classes. we’re like attached at the hip so we just joked that we were married. but no foul play, of course.”
you sigh. then why did she feel the need to bring it up to you?
“of course.” you respond.
“i’m so glad that we could clear this up. i would hate to think you’re upset with me.”
you give her a nod, turning your head to the door as shoko and suguru trickle in, wide smiles on their faces as they turn to greet you.
it leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
--
three days later, you’re thirty minutes late to the meeting for the school dance. leaving the hospital late because the next nurse wasn’t there to get her report on time, getting stopped by every stoplight on the way to school, and circling three times for parking.
you sneak into the gymnasium, quietly making your way to the tables in the corner where suguru and shoko are seated, only to be stopped by a shrill voice in the air.
“y/n?”
you turn on your heel, giving miwa a clenched smile, as you feel your heart sink into your stomach.
did she need to look so perfect all the time?
“i thought that was you.”
“right, i apologize for being late. i was caught up with –”
“we were wondering where you were. they’ve been making such slow progress on the little take home favors that i was considering pulling satoru from doing the streamers with me because of it.”
the first name. again.
“right, it’s just that i was –”
“i do hope you can come on time to actually chaperone for the dance. that would be a disaster since we need to have a certain adult to child ratio to be in line with the district. you will come on time, right?”
“yes, i took –”
“good. i know that your job is important, but ours is too, you know? granted, you leave satoru’s kids here every day, and spending all day with them is just as demanding as working at a hospital.”
you sigh.
“satoru’s kids?” you ask.
she gives you a smile.
“what?”
“you said satoru’s kids.” you clarify.
“and?”
you pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling burning hot tears in your eyes, as you look up at her.
“they’re my kids too.”
“right, of course they are. you know i didn’t mean that.”
you sigh.
“honest mistake.”
you feel two hands on your shoulder, accompanied by a squeeze and the distinct smell of satoru’s cologne in your ears.
“hi sweetheart. you smell like bleach.”
“oh my god. i thought that was just me.” miwa responds, accompanied with a laugh.
you bite down on your cheeks.
“i was sanitizing the gurney. because our patient bled all over it.”
“don’t bring up blood. miwa here is going to start vomiting.” satoru jokes.
miwa leans forward, lightly shoving in his side, as he shoves right back.
“oh shut up. you feel the same way whenever i eat my fried rice.”
“the smell of soy sauce makes my stomach hurt.”
“god, you’re so weird, toru.” miwa responds.
you clear your throat, as the two of them look over at you with expectant eyes. satoru eyes hold no weight of suspicion or guilt in them – really nothing at all – and it makes your stomach hurt.
“i’ll be back. i just have to use the bathroom.”
“don’t get lost!” miwa responds, as you trudge your way down the hallway, dragging your feet against the floor.
you can feel the frustration building up in your chest.
the annoying part? you do end up getting lost.
you sit on the bench outside one of the classrooms, hiking your knees to your chest, as you press your forehead against your legs. it’s not long before you feel three taps on top of your head, only to look up and find suguru standing in front of you.
“miwa sent out a search party for you. she thought you might have gotten lost.”
you sigh.
“she works fast, doesn’t she?”
suguru snorts as he takes the seat next to you, digging into his pocket and digging out a lollipop. he holds it out to you, giving you an encouraging smile as you snatch it from his hand, and unrawp it.
“i thought you were going to offer me a cigarette.”
“i’m saving those for the night of the dance. i only use those when necessary.”
you laugh.
“save half of them for me. i’ll need those every time miwa decides to come over and talk to me.”
you lean back, sticking your head against the ridge of the window pane, as you immediately regret what you just said.
“sorry. i don’t mean to talk bad about her, i know she is your coworker and all but –”
“but she’s just so fucking annoying?”
you pause, leaning forward as you lower your voice.
“it’s not just me?” you whisper.
“you’re in a very large majority, y/n. she’s just…too much for some people.”
you frown.
“not for satoru. i don’t know if you heard, but she’s his work wife.”
suguru winces.
“you heard about that?”
“i’m slightly offended that you did and didn’t tell me right away.”
“didn’t seem like a good time. satoru was mentioning that you guys were kind of going through a rough patch.”
you pause.
“a rough patch?”
“are you not?”
“i mean, we haven’t spent time alone together, since we’re still getting used to the whole kids thing. i didn’t realize that he was telling you and miwa it was a rough patch. or that he was telling you and miwa anything.”
suguru leans back, placing a hand on your shoulder, as you pause – pondering over the thoughts, of every little detail that you had noticed. the nicknames, the lunches, the emails – maybe they were more serious than you had originally believed.
it eats at you when you and surugu eventually drag your legs back to the gymnasium. and as you make the little party favors, it’s the only thing that you can focus on.
that satoru holds onto her ankle to steady her when she stands on the ladder, that they have a secret handshake, that in the time that he didn’t spend with you, she was the one that was filling the space.
--
“we’re out of toilet paper. and dish soap. and if you’re going anyways, you should probably get laundry detergent.” satoru states.
he shuffles into the bathroom quietly, yanking his shirt over his head as he gestures for you to scoot over, reaching for his toothbrush in the cup.
“megumi also said that we shouldn’t eat spaghetti again. he’s starting to get really picky with what he eats.”
you sigh.
“i’ll get more chicken nuggets when i go then.” you respond.
satoru turns his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at you, as he sticks the toothbrush into the side of his teeth.
“are you good?”
“hm?”
“are you okay?”
you shake your head, reaching forward to spit the leftover toothpaste in your mouth, as you reach for the mouthwash.
“yeah, yeah.”
“miwa said that you looked really exhausted when you left. said she was worried about you.” satoru responds.
“i’m sure that she is.” you respond, noting that you can’t control the bitterness in your voice.
“hm?”
you sigh, slamming the cup down on the granite countertop, as you turn to him.
“do you always talk about me with your female coworkers? or is it just her?”
“what?”
you turn to glare at him.
“do you always discuss the grievances you have about me with miwa? about how i don’t have time for you, about how we’re going through a rough patch, and everything in between?”
satoru looks confused. you swear there’s a sense of irritation in his demeanor which wasn’t unexpected. he was defensive to his core.
“no. i don’t. but she’s just a friend. i just mentioned it to her here and there because she asked.”
“and why does she feel the need to ask about your relationship with me? that’s not normal. especially when she clearly likes you so much.”
satoru glares right back.
“are you insane? she doesn’t like me.”
“oh so now i’m insane. yeah, it’s totally normal for her to walk around pretending like the two of you are married and telling me that my kids aren’t actually mine and they’re just yours.”
satoru scoffs.
“oh come on. there’s no way that she said that.”
you scoff.
“so you believe her over me?”
“she wouldn't say that.”
“and you think i’m making it up? why the hell would i do that?”
satoru slams the toothbrush down on the counter, before leaning forward and sneering at you.
“because you want to blame me for what’s happening with us when it’s really you.”
you feel your heart drop in your chest.
“it’s me?”
“you work too much. you…every time you come home, you don’t even look at me. it’s all about how megumi’s being too picky with what he eats and tsumiki is getting too attached to her friends. those aren’t problems, and even if they are, you’re the one making them worse.”
you can feel your chest aching from the inside out.
“you were the one who told tsumiki that the hurt would go away if she was with her friends. she obviously is so obsessed with being around them all the time because she thinks that it’ll go away if she’s with them all the time. because you told her that. and megumi’s so spoiled and picky because you’re the one who tolerates every little thing he says. just because he asked you to sleep in his bed, it doesn’t mean you have to do it every time. you have to let him do some things on his own.”
you glare.
“and what about you, huh?”
“what about me?”
“since i clearly do everything so wrong, i must have been the one who pushed you right into her, didn’t i?”
satoru pinches the bridge of his nose.
“you know what, maybe you did.”
you look down at your hands, reaching down at the little scab on your finger as you angrily scratch at it, ignoring the bright red that starts leaking out of your finger. you look down at the ground, at your mismatched socks, as you barely choke the words out.
“maybe i should just leave then.”
satoru’s face drops.
“what?”
if satoru was defensive, you were proud.
“i’ll do you a favor and leave. tsumiki won’t get horrible advice, megumi won’t get coddled, and you…you won’t be disappointed because i won’t be here to do it.”
satoru immediately melts, reaching forward for your wrist, the grasp hard on your arm.
“peach. don’t be like that. you know i -”
“know you don’t mean it? because i had a sneaking suspicion that you…that you had been thinking that for weeks.” you whisper, noting the crack in your voice.
you ball your hand into a fist, jerking your hand out of his grasp.
“i don’t know what to say to tsumiki because…because i’ve never done this before. i don’t work with kids like you do and i just said what i was thought was best. it breaks my heart to say no to megumi because i’m scared he won’t even try to sleep if i don’t sit there with him. i know it scares him because toji was asleep when he died and…and sometimes i think he’s scared he’ll wake up and we’ll be gone too. and….and i don’t mean to neglect you but this entire thing is exhausting. i thought you were the one thing that would stay because i could trust you.”
“hey. of course you can trust me.”
“i’ve had enough, satoru. there’s…there’s nothing you can say to take back what you just said. you…you’re talking about another girl.”
satoru leans forward, placing both hands around your face, and squeezing hard. you note the slight glisten in his eyes.
“don’t say that.” he whispers.
“i’m going to leave.” you murmur.
all you want is him.
“and go where? we….we’re all here.”
“i’ll stay with shoko. just for a few days before we figure something out.”
“you…you can’t be serious, right?”
you’re not.
“i’ll still come to the dance since i promised you that. i’ll see you then, okay?” you state.
you’re not sure what makes your heart sink more. the fact that he said what he did or that he let you leave without chasing after you.
--
satoru notes that it’s a day and a half of chaos without you. and that he really hates it when you’re not around.
he doesn’t know how to iron tsumiki’s dress for the dance or do her hair. megumi won’t eat the pasta he made because it’s not the way that he likes it and he’s almost positive that you were right – that he really wouldn’t sleep through the night just because you weren’t there.
that without noticing it, you felt like the glue that kept everyone together. that tsumiki and megumi didn’t stress him out, only because you seemed to take care of that for him – used to fix everything perfectly, like a soothing bandaid on every issue that they had. that sleeping next to you used to seep the stress out of his joints, the sweet smell of your shampoo lulling him to sleep.
that he needed you around because he was scared to be without you.
“shoko.”
“yeah?”
“can you do me a favor?”
satoru sighs, as he turns over to her.
“i did tsumiki’s hair all shitty because i didn’t know how to do it. can you go fix it because i can tell she’s lying when she says she likes it?”
“why didn’t y/n do it?” suguru asks.
satoru pinches his lips together. you were upset that he was sharing your relationship details with other people. which is why he was determined to not do it again.
“she’s coming in from work.”
“god. when does she sleep?” suguru murmurs, as she walks across the room and gestures for tsumiki to come over to her.
satoru can’t help but feel miserable. only because he didn’t know the answer to the question. and that he was the only one that was so painfully blind to how tired you were.
“did you and y/n fight it out then?” he asks.
“what? no.”
suguru’s eyes widen.
“she’s got balls of steel. i can’t believe one person can have that much patience.”
“what are you talking about?”
“the stuff that miwa said to her. i figured she’d ask you to stop talking to her or scale back a little.”
satoru looks over, hands hard on his shoulders, suddenly too interested with the conversation.
“what did she tell you?”
“i mean…i don’t know. she said you and miwa were talking about how she smells like bleach? and the whole work wife thing, that megumi and tsumiki aren’t her kids.”
satoru can hear the blood rushing through his ears.
“what?”
“yeah. she didn’t mention it? she was pretty upset about it the day we all came here to set up, especially since work can be so demanding and all that.”
“she said that megumi and tsumiki aren’t her kids?”
“yeah. seemed pretty hurt by it. think it was the second time too.”
satoru stands eagerly by the table, switching the clipboards in their spots two, three, four times as he waits for the last thirty minutes to run out. until you had to show up, because you promised that he would.
and surely enough, five minutes before it hits the time, he hears a shrill voice from the stage, followed by the sound of thundering footsteps.
“y/n!”
satoru looks to his left, watching as megumi and tsumiki both excitedly run into your open arms, limbs wrapped around your legs as you reach down and soothe through both of their hair. he can’t help but trail up to where the three of you are standing, chest aching wholeheartedly, as he watches.
“did you miss me?” you ask.
“so much. gojo put butter in the pasta. and he spilled all the detergent softener in the laundry room so the smell gives us a headache.”
he notes that you frown at the mention of his name.
“and he did my hair all weird. shoko was trying to fix it, but i couldn’t find the clips that we were going to use to match the dress.”
“don’t worry. i swung by the house and grabbed them, they were in my drawer.”
“where did you go?” megumi asks.
you smile.
“sorry for leaving so abruptly, kiddo. i was having a sleepover.”
“adults have sleepovers?”
“no. but i’m just cool like that.” you murmur.
the two of them grin, laughing at your joke, as you reach forward and put your hands around their wrists.
“satoru’s trying. don’t be so mad at him. it’s not his fault that he has the cooking intuition of a newborn baby. and he can barely do his own hair, it was kind of silly of you to expect that he could do yours.”
satoru can’t help but laugh. but it’s the sound of his voice, he assumes, that draws your attention away, as you finally look to your left and look up at him. he can’t help but give you a halfhearted smile, one that you nod at, as you stand up.
“i’m going to give satoru a stern talking to about butter and hairspray. i’ll come fix your hair after, okay?”
“give him hell.” megumi responds.
you watch as the two of them run off, before turning over to satoru and giving him a smile. it’s almost like he reaches forward to touch you, before he thinks twice and drops his hand. you look down, twisting the silver bracelet – the one that he gave you – on your wrist, as you take a deep breath.
“you still don’t know how to do your tie.” you note.
satoru laughs, looking down at the loose knot hanging around his neck. he can’t help but delight in the fact that you reach forward, loosening the mess he made as you properly tie it for him – the way you did every morning.
“never learned how to do it so you’d always do it for me.”
you stifle a laugh.
“satoru.”
“i can’t do anything without you, you know?”
it feels like he’s talking about more than just the tie.
he must sense the hesitation, because he changes the topic just as fast.
“i love the dress. you look beautiful.”
“thank you. i bought it for our…”
“third anniversary. i remember.”
you smile.
“i remember what we did after more, but…” satoru whispers.
you reach forward and shove him.
“we’re at a school.”
satoru smiles. and for a split second, it feels like nothing had happened at all.
“too much butter makes megumi’s stomach hurt. and you really should have asked me to come do her hair.” you state.
“would you come if i asked?”
you swallow hard.
“hm?”
“would you come back if i asked you to?” he asks.
“would you even ask?” you respond.
satoru pauses.
“what?”
“when i left, i…i thought that you’d chase after me. i…i wanted you to chase after me. but i understand that now things are kind of fraught between us and that you might –”
satoru feels the regret seep through him immediately
“i was trying to give you your space.” satoru states, interrupting.
“hm?”
“i thought that i’d push you farther away. of course i’d chase after you.”
“it’s so nice to see you, y/n. did you sign in?”
you turn to your left to find miwa standing there, hair perfectly secured around her face with glittering earrings hanging from her ears. you wonder if the shade of blue her dress was intentional, if it was meant to match her eyes so perfectly, as you smile at her.
satoru notes the horrible timing. and that he hates her dress.
“hi miwa. you look beautiful.”
“so do you. did you sign in and start marking the wristbands when you came in?” miwa repeats, tone insistent.
“she was talking to me.” satoru responds, tone harsh as he responds.
“hm?” miwa asks, tilting her head to the side in confusion as she looks up at him.
“my girlfriend just got here. she was obviously talking to me.” satoru responds again, tone unflinching.
you note that her eye twitches the slightest as she steps back.
“of course. just get to it when you can, since you know, people will be here soon.”
“i’m going over there right now actually. i’ll leave you guys to it.”
“hey, wait. i’ll catch up with you after, miwa.” satoru responds, his hand extended as he gestures for you to wait.
you watch as miwa shuffles away, slithering to the other side of the room, and there’s a burning, aching desire in your chest.
to tell satoru that she wore that dress to match his eyes, for the two of you to laugh at how crazy she was. you wondered if he would even find it funny.
“yes?”
satoru looks down, reaching for the bag underneath the table, as he lifts it up.
“i brought my windbreaker for you. it’s supposed to rain tonight.” satoru states.
you smile.
“i kind of tore apart your entire closet looking for it. and if i remember correctly, you did indeed say that it was mine now since i wore it more than you.” you admit.
satoru smiles right back.
“i also got you a corsage, peach. since you’re my date and all.”
satoru pulls out a little plastic box, as you note the little white flowers encased in the baby blue ribbon. you can feel your chest aching, a burning sensation, as you reach in your own bag, pulling out the matching corsage that you had ordered a week prior.
“you had to have cheated. did you look in my email?” you ask.
satoru shakes his head.
“i know you like orchids. and you’re so on the nose that you’d get one to match my eyes.”
you shove him in the side.
“you love that corny type of thing.”
satoru smiles, before looking over at miwa and then back at you.
“only when you do it.”
you smile as you both exchange the boxes, fixing the flowers on each other, before quietly walking away from each other.
--
you sneak away from the dance without satoru noticing. you catch the perfect moment, when satoru and miwa are stuck in an animated conversation near the dance floor, and slip through the door at the front.
you clearly don’t go too unnoticed, because the following day, you wake up to a plethora of texts from suguru and shoko.
[shoko]: Left for work already, but Satoru yelled at Miwa last night after you left.
[suguru]: IT WAS BAD
[shoko]: Did he really say that Megumi and Tsumiki aren’t your kids? That’s horrible.
[suguru]: HE WAS LIKE YELLING OUTSIDE. GOING ON ABOUT HOW YOU’RE HIS GIRLFRIEND, HOW SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT, ABOUT HOW HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HER
[shoko]: Oh, by the way. He’s like still on the porch. Sat through the rain last night and everything waiting for you. Think he was pounding on the window at some point and screaming but the rain was pretty loud.
[shoko]: Said something pathetic like he loved you or something.
[shoko]: Anyways, I left them out there for you to deal with.
that’s the next that gets your attention. you quietly pad to the door, swinging it open to find him sitting on the ground, half asleep against his knees with the corsage crumpled in his hand. you reach down, shaking at his shoulder to lightly nudge him awake.
“satoru. don’t tell me you sat out here in the rain.” you whisper.
he blinks a few times, the sleep still heavily lidded in his eyes, as he reaches forward, a cold hand against your warm cheek.
“chasing after you. not going home without you.” he mumbles.
you sigh.
“maybe come inside first, romeo. you’re going to catch a cold.”
you reach for his hands, lightly pulling up, and dragging him inside as he takes a seat on one of shoko’s chairs. you crank the heater up, putting a cup of milk on the stove for hot chocolate, before shuffling back over to him – noting that he’s slightly more awake now.
“i was knocking. and i’m pretty sure i was banging on the window at point, but i guess you didn’t hear me.”
“the rain was loud, satoru. i would have let you in if i had known.”
“gave you a whole spiel. it was really good too, about you know…us.”
you smile.
“us?” you question.
he doesn’t laugh.
“yeah. us. about how much i need you. how much i love you.” satoru responds.
you note that there’s a rasp in his voice.
“you’re getting sick, satoru.”
“i know you don’t want me to leave. i know you want to come back.”
you sigh. were you that obvious?
“did you yell at miwa?”
“did she really say they weren’t your kids?”
“maybe.”
it’s enough to set satoru off because he’s pushing off the chair, cold hands and wet clothing pressed to your face as he envelopes you in his embrace. you can still smell the faint whisper of his cologne, the smell so sweet it makes your stomach hurt, as he clenches harder.
“sweetheart, why wouldn’t you tell me that? i’d fucking yell at her then and there.” satoru whispers.
you frown.
“she’s your work wife. tsumiki like…loves her. i can’t just talk bad about her.”
“yes. you can. you could talk shit about my dead grandmother if she pissed you off. you could tell me anything if it was upsetting you.”
you frown.
“and you could have told me instead of everyone you knew that we were going through a rough patch. i know that you mentioned that you were upset we didn’t have time together, but…but i didn’t realize that i was letting you down so much.”
satoru reaches forward, titling your head up to face him.
“you didn’t let me down. i was being….”
“you’re just saying that because i left. if i was still there fighting with you…you…you’d have even more to say to me. about how how i worry too much, about how i don’t love you enough, about…”
“y/n.” satoru whispers, almost whining.
you push away from him.
“i made you hot chocolate. i think you’re getting sick and that you should go home and rest. also shoko would hate to see you bringing your wet mess in here.”
you push out of his embrace, tasking yourself with pouring the hot chocolate into one of her tumblers, before placing it in front of him. he ignores it entirely, reaching forward to make himself level with you.
“you know i’ll be waiting for you. i’ll be right on the other side of the door waiting to open it if you want to come back.”
“okay.”
“yeah? don’t…don’t hesitate to come back home, please. it’s not home without you.”
you give him a nod, lifting the tumbler and placing it in his hand and gesturing for the door.
--
satoru hears three consecutive knocks not even an hour after. he all but tumbles down the stairs, nearly slipping as he reaches for the knob, to find exactly what it is that we wanted to see.
the jacket pulled over your head, bright red eyes staring at him, and warm tears pouring out of your eyes.
you.
“satoru?” you mumble.
he can feel his heart drop at the tears and the crack in your voice.
“yes, peach?”
you note how soft his tone is.
“are you sick?” you ask.
satoru smiles.
“had a fever last i checked.” satoru responds.
he’s not sure what it is, but it sends the tears down your eyes faster, as you all but reach forward and burrow your face into his chest. satoru returns the favor, reaching down to rest his chin on the top of your head as he rubs circles into your back.
“it’s not cancer. i’m sure i’ll live.”
he pauses.
“sweet girl. what’s got you so upset?”
satoru notes that you make no inclination of responding, as he pulls back and gestures for you to wrap your arms around his neck. he scoops his free arm around your legs, steadily carrying you up the stairs as you heave in the sweet smell of his shampoo, warm tears still landing on his more pale than usual skin.
“are you really sick?” you ask.
satoru spares you a quiet laugh as he sets you down on the bed, peeling the jacket from your arms before digging through the fresh laundry for your pajamas.
“maybe take a shower first. you’ll feel better.”
you frown as you push off the bed, your cold hands on his burning hot arms as you look up at him. this couldn’t wait.
“i lied earlier. there’s a lot you could do to make things right.” you whisper.
satoru smiles.
“i know. i fully intend to do all those things too.”
you sigh.
“i want to stay in the rough patch. and…and even be here with you if we fight everyday. and you're sick and it breaks my hear tthat no one is here to take care of you.”
“i have no intention of fighting with you when you’re right.” satoru responds.
“you can’t just…”
satoru pauses, holding his hand up.
“i shouldn’t talk to my co-workers about you. and you…you’re right. i do think that she likes me and that’s why she’s felt the need to be so rude to you all the time. i’m sorry if it ever felt like i was siding with her, but you have to know, the only thing i really want is you.”
satoru sighs.
“tsumiki follows your advice so keenly because you’re so put together. she can’t really come to me with that stuff because you’re the one she looks up to. and megumi really doesn’t sleep when you’re not around, but of course, you’re the one who knows him better, who knows all of us better, to think ahead like that. and i love that you’re put together for them, but you don’t have to be for me. i want to know everything that bothers you because you…you’re my responsibility.”
“well, i –”
you pause.
“i don’t want to upset you again.”
“well, run away all you want. i’ll follow you anywhere you go. i had every intention to come wait outside of shoko’s apartment again at seven. every intention to do it every day until you came back."
“i wouldn’t make you do that.” you respond.
you swallow hard, before reaching for both of his hands, and lifting them to your lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.
"if you don't want to upset me, don't leave again. i'll do it, but i don't want to wait outside of shoko's door for you."
“i’m proud, but not proud enough to make you wait like that. i followed you five minutes after you drove away.”
satoru smiles.
“i left because….because i wanted you to chase after me, just so i knew that you still wanted me. it’s immature but…”
“no. it’s not.”
“i just…i don’t know how to explain what i was thinking but i…”
satoru leans forward, hands knotted behind your waist as he pulls you closer, searing warm lips pressed against yours as you lean against him. you can still taste the remnant of the chocolate on his lips, noting the cut on the right side of his lip.
maybe you don’t have to explain at all.
“have you been biting your lips?” you whisper, forehead flush against his as you brush your nose against his.
“was nervous you wouldn’t come back.” he murmurs.
you lean forward again, placing your hands on his burning hot face, as you feel the wetness spreading on his cheek. you lean back, wiping it away just as fast, before the door creaks open.
tsumiki and megumi are standing at the door, bright smiles on their faces, as they run up and tangle themselves between your legs. you lean against satoru, running your hand through megumi’s hair as you look up at them.
“is your sleepover over? we’re starving here without you.”
you stifle a laugh.
“yes. it is.”
you and satoru crouch down, his hand steady across your waist as you pinch at both of their cheeks. satoru leans to the left to press a kiss to your cheek, an action both tsumki and megumi copy, as you lightly pull them off.
“we missed you.” tsumiki responds.
“i missed you more.”
“are you happy after your sleepover? are we normal now?” megumi asks.
always the perceptive one.
you look over at satoru, granting him a gleaming smile.
“yes. i am.”
“oh thank god. satoru was getting sad too.” tsumiki responds.
you turn over to him and grin.
“take notes, kids. happy wife, happy life.”
--
an: ignored the voices and decided to post something! please me nice I was like fighting demons. anyways.
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Who is this bitch Y/N?
And how are they getting all these hot men to fall in love with them?