I Think It’s Really Unfair That I (a Person Who Needs To Feel Loved All The Time) Am So Incredibly

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the psych facility I stayed in at 17 didn’t give me a room due to my being a wheelchair user.

i was forced to sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the dayroom of the psych facility because they were “afraid i would fall”.

the dayroom was the “hub” of the facility. i had to try to sleep while patients were getting prepped for admission at the desk only a few feet from me. while people were getting blood drawn, meds administered, etc. i barely slept.

they also didn’t let me bring my own wheelchair in, and made me use a hospital wheelchair which was not fit to my orthopedic needs. my shoulders still ache when i see one of those fucking rust buckets.

psychiatric care is not safe for physically disabled people. if i have another mental health crisis, I will choose anything over going back to one of those places. i would rather die by my own hand than go back there and be subjected to that kind of treatment again.

inpatient psychiatric care is typically only for physically nondisabled people.

psych facilities will often simply turn you away if you have mobility aids or specific medical or access needs they are unwilling to meet. i have also heard stories of them doing things like taking away people's communication devices.

institutional psychiatric 'care' is a mixed blessing at best, but since it's what we have, it should be available to everyone who needs it. people with non-psychiatric disabilities are more likely than average, not less, to need this type of care. but it is often not available for us.

You're not immune to being the bully btw. You're not immune to being in the wrong

Wuuuuhhhh

Realizing ur a therian is wild like wdym I'm a dog there's no way I could... *reflects on entire life* oh... damn I am

i have a recurring stress dream where i’m driving one of those horrible newer cars with a huge iPad looking thing in the dash. (my IRL car is a 2009 Cube). A video game, usually Fortnite, is running on the screen, and for some dream logic reason it is imperative that I both make it to my destination and survive in the game. It usually ends in me crashing, but one time I succeeded somehow and woke up feeling really good about myself lmao

everyone has dreams about being lost at school, late to work, cant find bathroom etc but whats yalls most common Uncommon stress dream. ill always have dreams about having various problems with my fish tank

when someone does this to me they get a Telltale Games popup [Sp00kyButch will remember this.] and they permanently lose access to some of my story choices

Me when my able-bodied friends walk too fast

I think people with brain damage and neurodegenerative diseases' unique position on brain/body duality is so heavily appropriated by others and used to speak over us or put words in our mouths that I don't think we're ever actually allowed to speak about it ourselves. That's a huge loss I think, because I think we really do have a lot to say that could be very beneficial to the community and disability rights as a whole. Even to our understanding of the human experience and its physical nature, I think.

To have your body tangibly damaged, and through it your entire world and self too, to be changed so intrinsically that it spans both the body and the very essence of self. The inseparability of your physical disabilities and who you are not just on a spiritual or social level but a tangible, physical, neurological one, where even in a hypothetical future you couldn't cure the physical without changing the self, everything you experience, in ways that can be almost impossible to comprehend. The absolute, unavoidable understanding of every fiber of one's self as a physical phenomena, down to the very last thought or feeling, and coming to terms with it.

Unfortunately I think unless people stop using us as a mouthpiece to talk over each other, we won't get to have those conversations. If you want us to speak, you need to listen. I mean really listen. No picking and choosing, no deciding for us what you think it means. No trying to relate our experiences to your own when we tell you that no, those things aren't the same. Just listen and uplift our voices, especially those of us who can't communicate our thoughts and experiences very well.

theres something about being disabled and needing to sit down constantly in public spaces that makes you notice how often benches are put up as tributes and memorials. and before i hit an age where i really started to need them as frequently i think i never fully understood the sentiment but now its become very endearing to me. a bit of relief and care for you in the name of someone who offered us the same… i dont think i had a point with this post but i hope everyone thats been memorialized as such knows how loved they were to become synonymous with respite even to total strangers

currently thinking about how the Tower of Babel actually happened. but it wasn’t a curse from a god, we didn’t do anything to earn it, it’s just a process that happened and continues to happen slowly and steadily across time.

the real Tower of Babel is the sharing of culture, of conversation and companionship. each connection made changes both sides just a little, until it becomes unclear whether there was any sides to begin with. our ways of speaking are composites of the expressions of everyone we’ve ever known and loved. to be known and loved is to be changed irrevocably, and to bring about change.

and i think that’s beautiful.

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function