Tips On How To Avoid Being Unintentionally Ableist

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

More Posts from Spaceace0599 and Others

2 years ago

Are you in the mood to perhaps compile fics with that specific dadzawa & dadmic situation? ♡

:O!! YES ALWAYS??? OMG OKAY

For anyone who hasn’t seen it this ask is in reference to this comic I made about one of my favorite types of bnha fanfic: Aizawa and Yamada having already adopted Shinsou and Eri, realize Bakugou might also need some help.

It’s not entirely clear in my comic lmao but I feel like if you know, you know. Anyway here are some of my favorites!

note: because of the subject matter, most if not all of these contain themes of physical/emotional abuse and neglect. Check the tags for details

pump the break by stolenbythewestwind

this one is first because this fic. oh this fic eviscerates me. I really like Shinsou's characterization here, and the attention given to how he adjusts to Bakugou's presence. Also it can be so hard to write Mitsuki in a way that feels real in a situation like this, I swear to god this fic this fic is the blueprint. If I ever shut up about pump the break I am dead and gone from this earth.

this family of ours by ghostoutofhisgrave

A one-shot from Mic's pov about how they got all their kids. This one also includes Todoroki and is so fucking sweet. I love how Eri is so happy to have new brothers and they immediately roll with it.

It's Called: Freefall by poddunkk

This one is like good parenting slowburn because Bakugou doesn't move in until deep into the fic but god I love this one. The way Bakugou and Shinsou go from awkward, annoyed, mutuals to brothers is fantastic. There's mention of Eri being introduced soon!

Okay moving away from my comic just a bit! Here some of my favs where their family is generally already established, but still feature Bakugou, Shinsou, and dadzawa/dadmic:

Our House, Our Lives. (Part four of Homemade Families) by Heroesloverofbooks

This is a short series of fics! Including Todoroki, but no Eri in these ones. I picked part four because this one is my favorite; I like the silly sibling banter and Bakugou's dramatic ass.

Silent Treatement (Part two of Learning to Juggle) by SmartiMart

Another fantastic series, it's different from most other I've read because this time it's Shinsou, Bakugou, and Midoriya in the house (No Eri). The situations that get Bakugou and Midoriya into the erasermic fam are also unique, it's not usually what I go for with them, but the characterization has me by the throat.

Special Note: I HIGHLY suggested reading part two first. The plot of Silent Treatement is Bakugou and Midoriya have a fight and no one else can figure out why. I won't spoil it, but there's this scene where Bakugou admits something and Aizawa has this oh shit moment that hits so much harder without the context from part one.

now by theghoulinyourattic

A one-shot that's on the shorter end but I adore the characterization here. He would fucking do that omfg.

Lavender Tears (Series) by dreamsoflovingness

Another series, fourteen parts and complete! Once more featuring Todoroki but not Eri. I love this one so much I can't pick a favorite. My favorite part of this series is seeing the boy's relationships develop over the course of it. Especially how the author writes Bakugou suddenly being someone's brother.

a mix of six (Series) by Argentina

I'm obsessed with this authors mind. Y'all not only is this series twenty-seven parts, it includes Todoroki and Eri! I love the episodic style of these and OUGH there is just something about these kids developing the instinct to protect one another that gets me. There's one where Eri puts glitter in their hair and the next day at school the three of them are bragging about how cool their little sister is and I fucking can't. I love it.

Bonus Round: Some fics that don't technically fit the prompt but I hold so dear to my heart.

baby steps. by nitroglycerin_and_paraffin

Included because it involves Aizawa getting Bakugou out of his house. I fucking love this one. The way the author slowly gives you more information about why Aizawa acts the way he does and the way he finds out about little tidbits of Class-A's relationship dynamics I'm soooo normal about it. Also I LOVE the back-and-forth dialogue I'm eating that shit up.

Best Jeanist Acquires A Son (Series) by Sif

OH THESE ONES. Bakugou gets out of his house but it's Jeanist that takes him in! I love how the author developed Bakugou and Jeanist and don't even get me started on the quirk meta they did for Bakugou it's the coolest shit ever.

That's my list, thank you so much for the ask :)


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3 years ago

Because Floral suggested I do this- Have some Fic recs!!!

@floralflowerpower

The Apprentice of Thanatos: DP/PJO https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169744/chapters/71614422

Ghost in the NYC: DP/Marvel https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045206

The ColdHands Project: DP/Rise of the Guardians (2012) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364842

Uncle John: DP/John Constinie  https://archiveofourown.org/works/33598900

Wattson Wraith: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186578/chapters/63723802

Ectoplasmic Educational Employment: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/33500500/chapters/83231269

Spooky Monochrome Vigilantes Gotta Stick Together: DP/Venom https://archiveofourown.org/works/32941786/chapters/81756826

Something’s Wrong With Danny Fenton Vol. 1: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/33428749/chapters/83039059

To Breathe: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947537/chapters/71029983

College Shenanigans: DP https://archiveofourown.org/series/2231343

Fangs or No Fangs: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/30890915

Furry Paws and Achy Jaws: DP https://archiveofourown.org/works/31449242


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10 months ago

Stop for a while. do not cross . My name is Amna from Gaza. We lost everything, home, dreams, and everything that gives life. My children are living in bad conditions. I ask you to help me for the sake of my children, for the sake of humanity. Those who cannot donate can share the post and link

@occupationsurfer @northgazaupdates @nabulsi @elierlick @evelyn-art-05 @soon-palestine @fairuzfan @bibyebae @riding-with-the-wild-hunt

Stop For A While. Do Not Cross . My Name Is Amna From Gaza. We Lost Everything, Home, Dreams, And Everything
Donate to Welive in Gaza My family is experiencing war, organized by Amna Merwan
gofundme.com
I am Amna Marwan, 32 years old, I live in Gaza, married and a mother of… Amna Merwan needs your support for Welive in Gaza My family i
4 months ago

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

3 years ago

Hello! I'm not sure if you do fics recs and if you don't you can just ignore this, but I was wondering if you have any recommendations for Danny with either the Batfam or Justice League? You seem like you're pretty well versed in the fics of this phandom lol

oh I've been reading a few lately! I'll give you a list of the ones I'm subscribed to currently ~

The Phantom and the Knight - by savya398

Resurrected? - by Playedcrowd5610

Phantom Children - by apotheosis_avaritia

Operation I'm Totally 300 - by I_Am_Toast

Dressed for Death - by Nohvarrs

have fun!


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3 years ago

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx


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3 years ago

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

3 years ago
Phantom Comic

Phantom Comic

Page 1 -> Page 2


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2 years ago

may i ask for some more bkdk fic recs because ypur last one was SO GOOD

sure!! the theme for today is (relatively?) short, sfw, and sweet. read the tags etc etc

starting with some of my mutuals !! penny for your thoughts, wait for me, "whats your type?", you got a boyfriend?, the chosen of the dragonborn, and autumn metamorphosis

then from some of my absolute fave writers that arent my mutuals ((YET💪💪💪)) Romeo and Romeo, play it cool, a nerd's guide to flirting, but the entrails are the best part!, they took the wisdom with the teeth, and boom badoom boom

honorable mentions! how ikea sells all their beds, a challenger appears, and child's play


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3 years ago

Why do so many shows from the late 90s and early 2000s have so many characters that fit the “bad boy with a motorcycle” niche and… why are they all named Johnny?


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spaceace0599 - Artemis
Artemis

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