I Said I Was Gonna Do It

I said I was gonna do it

Papyrus trips on his way down the stairs and very visibly shatters his ulna in three places. It’s excruciating, but he’s dead silent.

He slowly stands up, walks past a horrified Sans, who was dozing on the couch, roots in his pockets with his good hand, then carefully places a random assortment of bills into the jar.

He takes a deep breath.

“d-dude, we gotta get a doctor–”

“FUCKING PISSING SHITTING CUNTING FUCK LORD ALMIGHTY DOES THIS HURT GOODNESS FUCKING GRACIOUS ME I’VE GONE AND SNAPPED MYSELF IN HALF LIKE A TWIZZLER LEFT OUT IN THE SUN BOY OH BOY HAVE I REALLY FUCKING DONE IT THIS TIME WOWIE THIS IS QUITE THE INJURY–”

“i-i’m callin’ someone–”

“THAT’S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED THANK YOU SANS IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE CAN YOU PLEASE PUT SOME MORE OF MY MONEY IN THE SWEAR JAR BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUY BOATS AT THE END OF THIS ONE GOOD FUCKING GRAVY–”

And yes, that IS my actual Asgore voice narrating.