UGHHHH BUNNY. BITING CLAWING SCRATCHING.

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

requiem

mid-term results :(

why are yall not talking about the information yall don’t know? yall fake

Hello

I want help to escape the danger of war, to live safely and complete my studies to have a bright future .🥺

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yasmins-family-find-safety-and-stability

You can help by donating or reblogging. Please don't hesitate to help me 🙏🏻

Cmon y'all

It's not possible for a good person to have 100 billion dollars.

In order to have 100 billion dollars, one would have to have previously had 99 billion.

And someone with 99 billion dollars already has orders of magnitude more than they could ever use in a lifetime.

Past a certain point, the only thing money can give someone is power. And in order for someone who's already past that point to get wealthier, they'd have to already have power and try to get more.

It's not possible to be a good person and do that. It doesn't matter if it's from "hard work". If you already have more than you can possibly use, it's unethical to try to get more. It's actually worse for it to be from "hard work". If "hard work" is what made someone that rich, that means they actively put effort into exploiting others for power. If it's easier to help others and you choose to jump through hoops in order to calculate how to be selfish anyway, then you don't have a good bone in your body.

[M4F] Your boyfriends finds out about your Tumblr likes

(Mentions of anal and rough sex but nothing mad. Didn’t want to scare people off from my second ever widely available audio on www.tumblr.com. Also this one's going to be rebloggable :))

Ah, and if the audio's too cringe, have some hand pics/ gifs I took today... actually, that might add extra cringe to the whole thing :p

If you'd like to support me, here's my: Kofi | Throne

Hey, how are you, my friends? I am Muhammad from Gaza. I want your help to donate, share the post, or help with anything 😞🙏.

This flour is spoiled and contains worms. We are forced to eat it because we have no other flour and the flour is available to us at a ridiculous price. We cannot buy it 💔 because we do not have the money. I want you to help me 🙏 in order to buy a bag of flour so that we do not die of hunger. Please help me. Your donation will save my family from death 😭💔 🙏.

https://gofund.me/a3a8daa6

fbi open up

bakugo katsuki x reader

amongst search histories and private youtube videos

part twenty-nine: it’s not very baby of you

masterlist // part twenty-eight // part thirty

taglist @bakugouswh0r3 @kara062284-blog @nevilila @levylovegood @whore-of-many-hot-men @jazzylove @jasmixs @hypernovaxx @charliepoopyfart @ti-i-ja-izvan-svemira @fallingmoon02 @megnotfound @thankk-u-next @sukislady @fairywriter-oracle @parker-natasha @itgetzweird08 @lagataprrr @203steph @ange-lica-3 @thisrandombitch @mjsnightmares @aelouslvr @thereal-persephone @citrustsuki @nonomesupposedto @bubble-teabubs @softtashoney @blaaiissee @theycallme-becky @marsprivateclub @leeyah04 @winterv-black @azamii0 @simply-vulpecula @bloombb @444katsuki @lucidliving1205 @mmmaackerel @kipani-snow-25 @tonysttank @cathwritestragediesnotsins @thewintersoldiersmetaldick @doonaandpjs

an: gonna take a short break to spend the holidays with my family, Merry Christmas to everyone! uploads will be back to the normal schedule after Christmas.