Just Thinking About Johnny’s Callsign Being Something So Common It’s Impossible To Avoid And After

Just thinking about Johnny’s callsign being something so common it’s impossible to avoid and after Makarov Simon is literally incapable of washing his hands or showering without having a breakdown.

Like it gets to the point where Price and Gaz are genuinely worried about him because he’s dirty and starving himself to avoid reminders of Soap.

When they find out Johnny is alive they think the problem will be fixed but they all notice that he’s still weird about doing those things. Eventually Johnny asks Price and Gaz about it and they admit he was so distraught and depressed about his death that he couldn’t stand thinking about it and that he could barely shower because it got so bad.

Soap is devastated and he does everything he can to remind Simon that he’s there now and things are okay. It helps to an extent but a little part of Ghost died that day that not even Johnny can bring back, the grief remaining a part of him for years.

Even when they’re both retired and living in a little cottage In Scotland with their dog and two cats Simon sometimes freezes up doing the dishes or showering and Johnny just has to accept that that’s a part of Simon now like everything else he’s gone through.

But unlike many of his other traumas Johnny can at least comfort him with this. Walking up behind him at the sink and wrapping his arms around Simons sweater clad torso, gently pulling him away from the kitchen and tucking him into his chest on the couch, singing him Gaelic lullabies until he calms down and tucking him into bed.

For a lot of people it’s hard to understand how Simon could be anything other than relieved and grateful but he knows if he had found Ghost with a bullet in his head and carried him to exfil only for him to turn up alive months later in a military hospital it would change him too. And even though it breaks his heart that Simon is grieving him while he’s alive, holding on a little too tightly and digging his fingers into his skin, he understands because he’d be the same way.

But at least if it were the other way around he could avoid constant conversation about paranormal spirits. The fact that his name brought Simon so much pain is something he can never forgive himself for.