Spiderbit Week - Day Two: Fae/Kiss

Breaking Dawn

Summary:

Cellbit is a monster hunter.

That is to say: he is a conspiracy theorist trying to prove the existence of the supernatural. His current project is as such: werewolves. Werewolves are in the woods, and nobody cares except for him... and except for this one guy he met at his book club one week.

Turns out this Roier guy knows a lot about the supernatural, too. He says that he's a werewolf expert, and who is Cellbit to look a gift wolf in the mouth?

Or: Anti-Twilight werewolf romcom starring an ex-convict and a guy who definitely isn't a furry.

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Thanks to @comfymoth for letting me play in their au!

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REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG

Me and the mutual I pulled by being actually I have no idea why they followed me but I'm glad they did

The Death of Icarus, by Alexandre Cabanel

chandelure....

What about qRoier writing tips?

I mean I’m bad at writing him, but here’s what I’ve got?

He’s very emotionally intelligent. He’s the island’s therapist! And he’s also Melissa, aka the island’s other therapist. She’s him in drag

He’s also just regular intelligent. He just likes to hide it

He’s also lowkey more murderous than Cellbit is. As in: Roier is bloodthirsty, he said himself that he’s wanted to kill everyone on the island a couple of times. He just cares about his friends to much to hurt them

That’s maybe one of the most important things about him: he’s loyal!! To a fault!! Just look at him and Spreen, it’s ridiculous!!

He doesn’t like getting into fights because he knows he’ll win them and he kinda just likes remaining super unassuming.

He just wants to be a regular guy

And he loves kids. He was the island’s babysitter before Bobby died, and even now he still cares more for Pepito than he’d like to

omg we are both fucked in the head wanna make out

Know what I think would be cool

If people stopped putting tntduo fics. In the spiderbit ao3 tag

For the character/pair requests, can I ask for fluri please? You drew them so cutely in your big tov post <3

besties 💢

Two Ways to Adjust the Egg Life System

So, since the Eggs ran away in September and lived for weeks free of tasks and lives, and after they survived Purgatory while doing zero tasks, and after the three newer eggs survived for seemingly their entire lives without tasks or lives, a lot of people- both fans and creators and egg admins- have been complaining about the Egg Life System and how bullshit it is in terms of both player experience and the island’s established lore. It’s an outdated system that isn’t fun for anybody involved, and it should be properly updated for the new year.

Eggs have been the QSMP’s lifeblood since when they were first introduced in April. They were initially an event then, but they soon developed into actual people with actual personalities that both the audience and the players all became ridiculously attached to.

Eggs are given to new players to give them someone to hang out with when they’re alone on the server, and they exist for that purpose for everybody else, too.

So, if that’s the case… why the fuck can they still permadie? When lore itself showed that they don’t need to do tasks, and when players like the Korean members or like Roier or Bad would be completely alone on the server without the eggs keeping them company, it really begs the question of whether or not it’s possible to still have the eggs at risk while not explicitly killing them.

And so I present a couple of ways to adapt the Egg System to the QSMP 2024 while still allowing the eggs to be put at risk and while still having consequences for risky behavior and while still keeping the cookie system in place because, really, that’s a decent way of doing the tasks.

1. Hospitalization

Post-Purgatory, it was revealed that there’s an Egg Hospital. And it really would make sense for the server’s hyper capitalist second season to keep the hospital, and to use it the American Way.

When an egg goes down and “dies”, the egg respawns like a player would. But the egg respawns in the Egg Hospital at Spawn, and the parents have to pay a hefty fee for their eggs’ health.

The server already makes everybody collect coins and go into debt, so why not apply that to the eggs?

The fee the parents would have to pay would be ridiculous, like maybe 10k coins. Any coins they get from bounties would go to that and not to their own pockets, but the egg would still be alive. Every time the egg dies, the fee would increase regardless of whether or not the parents paid it off the last time.

So an egg has infinite lives, but the eggs and their parents are still punished for deaths. It keeps the parents from being able to buy necessities like warps or things from the Spawn Shops.

Egg Tasks are completed in exchange for Cookie Coupons, which allow the purchase of one cookie per coupon free of any monetary charge. In an emergency, parents can add to their debt by buying cookies outright. This way, eggs still get to do tasks while the parents are paying their debt.

Is this system harsh? Yeah, but so are permadeaths. This system just switches the deaths out for American-style medical debt that will ruin the parents financially should they ‘allow’ their eggs to die.

2. Repossession

Since the start of QSMP2024, the bunny employees have been trying to buy the eggs from their parents. Why not adapt that?

If an egg dies under this system, the parents receive a Strike from the Federation. After two Strikes, the egg is taken from their parents by a bunny social worker to live with the Federation until the parents can prove they’re a “good parent.”

The parents do this by taking paid parenthood classes taught by the Federation that would cost maybe 500 coins per class (coming to a total cost of 3,500 coins.) After a week of classes, the parents get their kids back.

The classes would basically be a bunny worker showing up at the parent’s home and making them do egg tasks for the bunny instead, maybe for ten minutes per day, showing that the parents can still take care of their eggs and that they aren’t neglectful or anything.

Furthermore, before the parents get their eggs back, they have to build a room specifically for their eggs if they don’t have one built already, and that room must be inspected by the bunny social worker. Parents have to show that they have food prepared for the egg. They have to have a set of armor prepared for the egg, and a sword and pickax. They have to have at least one toy or egg cosmetic purchased and waiting for the egg in the egg’s new room.

Once all this is done, after a week, the eggs get to come back, and their Strikes are reset.

This isn’t too bad, but 3,500 coins is a lot of money for a lot of players, and having to do all these chores and not having their eggs around punishes both the players and the eggs the same way a permadeath would. It’s just that this doesn’t include the egg dying, it includes a new form of Egg Trauma.

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If you have any other ideas of new systems, I’d be curious to hear them. And feel free to screenshot and share this post to Twitter if you want, that’s cool.

I just think there are ways to mess with the players and the audience without killing the eggs off, that’s all.

These systems I have proposed accommodate for server lag and general unpreparedness, such as not having good enough armor or going into a dungeon without backup.