@divinelowblood
@divinelowblood
I finally had a Tumblr post-worthy thought.
Don't you ever, EVER, sit down on the toilet without checking for a spider first.
Because like
you ever just vibe in the shower with the spider sitting on its web in the corner closest to the ceiling?
It's a nice experience when you're having those nervous one-sided conversations as you're desperately trying to pop that pimple on your shoulder.
But like, what if the spider saw you use the toilet sometime before and then after you got out of the shower they were like
"Why do the gigantic two-eyed, four-limbed beings spend so much time on the shiny white stone domestic puddle?" and go to try it out for themself and then they just transcend space and time right then and there and are having this fantastic cosmic experience as their astral energy travels the multiverse
only to get suddenly smashed by a pair of asscheeks because somebody else in the house doesn't fucking look before they leap - or, in this case, sit down
just
just think about it
look before you sit on the toilet, people. Please, I'm begging you.
More Posts from Spider-simp and Others
https://youtu.be/v4pxws00tr4
Now is as good a time as any to show you: Cover image and theme for the Warmer Winter AU!
do you think Skrael's last name is north?
why not both
here's a question: do you guys think skrael would wear a tuxedo or his cloak for his and (Y/n)' s wedding?
@toasterbrainsatyress
kirby on the phone
WHY DID PEOPLE FIND THIS FUNNY, I WASN'T EVEN TRYING-
okay so strickler calls jim young atlas, nomura calls him little gynt, now place your bets as to what notenrique would call him
The angel on my shoulder judging everyone and everything, including my life choices:
The devil on my other shoulder regretting my life choices for me:
people always talk about how the masses used to watch gladiator fights or public executions for fun, but we rarely discuss how people also went to human medical surgery’s for sport and entertainment, just showed up in a big tent and watched official operations, sometimes a flutist played music in the corner for it
like, “I’m not not dying of some random disease or having to work a 50 hour work day today, better go watch some dude get his leg sawed off in a science tent.”
what I’m saying is that it’s good we invented tv
thank you for this blursed info
I love this idea so much
some ideas for more time-oriented hats
since hatty time has remarkably few time-based abilities, i've been envisioning my own
Tangent Hat: A mobile checkpoint. When equipped, the Tangent Hat drops a marker at your exact location. You can then rewind time to the exact moment you equipped the hat, regaining any health you lost along the way and resetting things to the way they were. The marker disappears when you change hats, so be careful!
Revisionist Hat: When triggered, this hat transports you to an empty version of the current environment, set sometime in the past. From here you can interact with the environment in certain ways, "revising" the scene in the present.
Simulator Hat: Look forward in time. When activated, this hat places you in a mental simulation of the current level for up to two minutes, allowing you to "rehearse" a difficult section without consequences. The level cannot be completed this way, though; if the end is reached before the simulation expires, you'll still have to do it again for real.
If you must know, they probably saw the live-action CATS movie.
i have seen catgirls in real life.
psst
*slides you the photo*
you didn't hear it from me
wait let me look up what flowers would make a "fuck you" bouquet
got it
•Orange lilies (hatred and disdain)
•Tansy (declaration of war)
•Basil (hatred)
•Meadowsweet (uselessness)
•Geranium (foolishness and stupidity)
•Fragrant coltsfoot ("You'll get what you deserve.")
somebody draw this
Taranza knows how to passive-agressively say "fuck you" in flower but he won't tell Magolor and Marx.
oh absolutely he does. and why would he. he needs to be able to send “fuck you” bouquets when he needs to w/o being found out
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spider-simp reblogged this · 4 years ago
