Seriously Though Were People In The Past Just Constantly Giggling At The Word “suck” Being Written

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Akash Bobba

Edward Coristine

Luke Farritor

Gautier Cole Killian

Gavin Kliger

Ethan Shaotran

Spread their names!

“Well Your Honor, my client literally never asked to be born so…”

Defense attorney’s closing statement from a 1918 burglary case I’m working on.

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

Josephine Goodrich and her “husband” (it does not appear the two were legally married) C. J. Phillips were charged with stealing $61.80 from a man’s pocket at the Stockton train station in September of 1918.

C. J. had a long criminal history, having been in jail at least seven times, mostly for vagrancy.

After their initial conviction, they requested a new trial on the grounds that the complaining witness, Mr. Song Won Sook, was a recent Korean immigrant who spoke little English, and there were apparently questions as to the accuracy of his testimony.

Their request was denied, and the two entered San Quentin Prison on June 10, 1919, receiving consecutive numbers. C. J. died in prison four months later.

*points my laser beam at you*

omg im so sorry

*turns on my laser beam*

aaa oh dear I'm really sorry

*laser beam malfunctions, doesn't turn on*

aaaah oh geez hold on

*starts repairing laser beam*

please don't leave

obsessed with the girl who says that if you lie on the floor long enough you will start to cry and shake because your body is 'releasing excess cortisol' like i just think you might be going through something girl

For some reason the versions of this where he gives two salutes is being deleted and replaced with a version with a quick cut to a cheering crowd so I’ll just share it here 🙃