Therapy Is Not Enough I Need James Potter To Hug Me

*Time skip to later that night with everyone but James*

Remus: I call the record player

Sirius: aww I was going to call that!

sirius: what happens when you die?

james: idk, you go to heaven?

sirius: no i mean do i get your stuff?

The Kind of Heroes we need...

Imagine Sirius raising Harry. Lucius Malfoy would be so jealous. Sirius is basically a smarter, hotter, richer version of him.

Ok, so we’re not plants we are all dragons with magical powers, and like cake. I think the only things forgotten were world domination and that we also like garlic bread.

Sirius: blood whores

James: transparent hooker

Remus: just call them by their actual names!

James and Sirius: ok……moon slut

Ah yes, Chorch

If you live any where in the Midwest you understand this

Y'all are pro life until that life isn't cishet. Then it's "God hates h0m0s" and "You're just confused"

You're pro life until that life gets shot up in a school (or a church, a park, a nightclub...). Then it's "Well, what a tragedy...but my desire to own an AR-15 that I use recreationally maybe once a year matters more than your life."

You're pro life until that life is disabled or neurodivergent. Then it's "Nobody should get special treatment" or "We don't have time for r*t*rded kids."

You're pro life until that life is an AFAB person's. Then it's "you should have kept your legs closed," "boys will be boys," "it's your fault that this happened, you should have covered up."

You're pro life until that life is brought into the world. Then it's "good luck in the foster care system," "try to make it as best you can in the streets or in an abusive household," and "it's your fault that your parents hate you, they never wanted you to be born"

You're pro life until life makes you uncomfortable. You're pro life until it inconveniences you. You're pro life until that life becomes an independent one that you can't control or use as leverage for your sick, bigoted regimes.

regulus: i will never hit my kids. but i might occasionally flip them off when they aren't looking