Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?
--
Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam
--
Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?
Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality
Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that
--
Bruce: this literally tastes like ass
Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?
Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.
--
Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange
Imagine Gotham just pities Bruce’s pathetic wet cat dontlookatme ass so much that his identity as Batman accidentally slips out once and even the press is like “we’re just gonna pretend we didn’t hear that” because the man has clearly been through enough and nobody has the heart to tell him that they know and send him into an episode
batman / bruce wayne icons, pt. 1!
from justice league unlimited, S01E03: kid stuff © warner bros. && dc comics
free to edit, please reblog or like if you use them!
Clark Kent’s guide to getting ur bf to take a break
I see no difference
Comparing Dick and Jason’s early days with Bruce is so funny, it’s just the opposite of what you’d expect.
Jason: “wow, I get to live in a mansion!” “and now I get to be Robin?!” “this is awesome!” “let me get to work on that homework now Bruce so we can patrol later” “being Robin gives me magic” :D
Dick: “my parents are dead” “Mr. Wayne is never around” “everything is terrible” “i’m going to sneak out of the house” “Batman, let me kill a man”
Bruce: I’m proud of you
Steph:
Bruce:
Steph, crying: It’s been so long since any sort of father figure said that to me
Bruce, also crying: You think of me as a father figure?
kitties
Oh my fucking God there's a batfsm comic on webtoon and I wanna cry 😭😫
ITS SO GOODD
Damian Wayne 100% has pet chickens