Tim Takes Photos Of Bernard All The Time. Steph Was His First Serious Relationship, But There Are Rules;

gothams sleepiest detective

Damian: *pointing to each of the batboys except dick* I hate you! And you! And you!

Tim: Hey! You missed dick?

Damian: No I didn't

Dick: No he didn't

Bruce getting stuck in a situation and having no choice but to call and wait on Clark to help him

Bruce: [trapped in a cave after an avalanche] “well shit… Clark? Clark! Clark!”

Clark: [shows up 30 minutes later. Uses heat vision to melt through the snow] “I’m here. Sorry, I was having dinner with ma and pa”

Bruce: [shivering uncontrollably] “you know what? I’m telling Martha you let me sit here in the cold so you could eat some fucking apple pie”

Bruce got Zatanna to enchant more than just the cape. She enchanted three pockets of the utility belt too. All three are infinite, one keeps things cold, one just keeps things dry, the other keeps things warm.

He keeps juice boxes, apple slices, string cheese, and sandwiches in the cold pouch, trail mix, granola bars, protein bars, fruit snacks, chips, cookies, and canned goods in the regular pouch, and when he's about to serve one of the cans, he puts it in the warm pouch for a little while first so it's a lot more pleasant to eat. He also keeps blankets and clothes in the warm pouch which is great for missions in cold places.

He tries to keep enough food and water on him at all times for himself, all of his kids, and at least 3 other people for two or three days. It's good for mid patrol snacks, but more importantly, if they get stranded they have a supply of food ready to eat so they can focus on shelter and rescue instead of hunting and gathering. The longer he can avoid having to harm an animal in front of Damian the better. If they need the protein, he will, but... Best to avoid that situation altogether is his point.

He doesn't let anything go to waste either, he regularly hands the food out to the street kids around the city before anything can spoil (along with the warmed blankets and some clean clothes). Occasionally he leaves a few sandwiches, clean water and some cookies for Croc and Grundy and gives a juice box and some fruit snacks to Harley if she's having a bad night, the sugar eases her temper a bit. If Eddie's a little put out by how quickly a riddle was solved, he gets some apple slices, they seem to cheer him up.

anger issues run in the family ig

Instead of a playboy persona, I feel like this iteration of Bruce Wayne would be a disaster celebrity that people love because he's such a mess all the time. There are listicles like 'Top Ten Moments Bruce Wayne Was All of Us' and it's him falling asleep at the opera or dropping his coffee on the street and staring at it, clearly on the verge of tears. He'd get memed constantly and understand none of it. A WE publicist makes him a twitter account and he posts like a fifty-year old man, he just tweets 'Hello. I am Bruce Wayne.' or some shit and it goes viral.

Oh my fucking God there's a batfsm comic on webtoon and I wanna cry 😭😫

ITS SO GOODD

Why go to therapy when you have this masterpiece?

"Tell him to get in line"

"came back wrong" this "lived wrong" that, what about dying wrong. my death will forever cling to you, leaving behind a slimy trail and a metallic taste in your mouth. my soul will forever drag you down like the heavy corpse of a long-dead god, who somehow still grants wishes. you can't tell which one of us is the one not letting go. you know not even your own death will end this.