The World Would Be A Better Place If This Happened More.

This really is solid advice. Thank you.

So, my girlfriend and I are planning on having our first threesome with some guy she knows and after having an anxiety attack about the whole thing I was wondering... Is there a way to make it so I don't get too jealous over this and feel the urge to cut his throat while he's making my girlfriend feel good? He's 7 while I'm 6.3-4. She's said that we don't have to if I don't want to and she'd be doing this purely for me since its my turn on and I hate that it is but what can I do?

This is a slightly different request for advice than I normally receive. Usually, I get some form of “How can I convince my wife/girlfriend to…yada, yada, etc?” In your case, your girlfriend is giving you the green light to experiment, but you’re justifiably cautious.

I have to assume you’ve read through all of the advice posts on this board. If not, it’s probably worth your time to do so now. Otherwise, read on.

My first piece of advice is simple: if you’re not absolutely certain that you’re ready, then I’d hold off for now. You can always do this later, but you can’t re-cork that genie after it’s out of the bottle.  I will never be able unsee my wife fucking other men, and she can’t be unfucked, but that’s okay for us. If you’re not sure that you’re okay with that, slow down. You don’t have to stop, but slow down.

I think a common mistake people make with this stuff is that they jump straight to sex. Why not simply watch your girlfriend make out with the other guy? Maybe she can simply give him a handjob while they fool around. Remember when you were a virgin and it was awesome simply to get to first base? A hand up the shirt was a powerful adrenaline rush. It’s kind of like that.  Anything you do will blow your mind anyway, so there’s no rush to have vaginal penetration. Have her sit between the two of you while you take turns making out with her, feeling her tits and/or fingering her. Maybe if you get relaxed enough you can encourage her to go down on him, or him on her. Or take turns grinding with her, or maybe you make out with her while he goes down on her. There are so many fun possibilities besides simply jumping headlong into sex.

A word of caution. It sounds like you’re planning on doing this with some guy she knows. That’s kind of a warning flag, if you’re at all worried about jealousy. She has some degree of relationship with this guy, and it sounds like she knows him more than you do. That might exacerbate any jealousy issues. Are you going to be worried if she’s contacting him later, or driving yourself crazy wondering who just texted her? I have no doubt that she’s on the up and up, but I’d be more worried about your mindset after it’s over. Maybe it seems safer to explore this with someone other than Stranger Danger.  We preferred our first time to be with a complete stranger, so that if it was awful we could at least close that particular door forever.

You’re going to feel some crazy jitters beforehand. If you drink, a few glasses of wine may help settle the nerves. Too much wine will probably make it worse. I’d advise against being drunk for this – if you need that, you’re probably not ready.

I have no doubt you’re talking and fantasizing about this during sex with your girlfriend. That’s always hot! Now try talking about it AFTER you have sex. After you cum and you’re getting up from bed, maybe discuss some of the logistics  – where does she want to meet with him or do you need to buy condoms for him or if she wants to go out and grab drinks after it’s over. If you make yourself sick doing that when you’re not really in the mood, then maybe you should think twice about doing it for real. Because after he fucks your girlfriend, eventually you’re going to orgasm and have to deal with a few moments of post-orgasm angst.

That reminds me. It may help to have something to do after the big event. Are you planning to go out for a late dinner? Drinks? Breakfast the next day? Give yourself a “next step” after the deed is done. Something for both of you to do together.

I’m hate sounding so preachy, but I wanted to respond thoughtfully. We love that others vicariously enjoy our experiences through this blog, but we’d feel genuinely awful if we played any part in irresponsibly encouraging others to do something for which they weren’t ready.  Your girlfriend sounds awesome, that she’s willing to try something like this in large part because it turns you on. Tell her how awesome that is.

Above all, talk this whole thing out with her. Seriously, it’s no big deal to tell her about your anxiety. The anxiety is what gets you off, but you’re not sure if it will overwhelm you during the act. It will help her to know the (somewhat intentional) torture you’ll be experiencing during the moment. Make sure you establish something like a  “safe word” with her before you play, if you would like it to stop without you having to make a big scene. Agree that any of you can shut it down if you’re not feeling it, and nobody gets to have hard feelings about it.

And if you decide you’re ready, remember that you love each other. Don’t forget to remind each other of that before, during, and after.

Let me know if this helps. I’d love to hear how it goes (or doesn’t’ go), and I’m sure virtually every follower of this blog feels the same way.

What a fantastic post. Thank you. It's brilliant.

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle for prospective Hotwives

This guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle oieced from various sources on the net; thanks to their assistance here!        

Probably, you were quite unaware that a large percentage of men, your husband being one of them, even had these desires. He wants to share you with other men and women and see you enjoy sex with them!

If you are the adventurous open minded type, and you likely are, you are now contemplating doing what he fantasises about; being able to enjoy the company of other men; their different personalities and conversations, touch, kisses, bodies, their cocks and ways of fucking which will all enhance the wonderful experience that is your marriage and your life! 

If you are brave and naughty enough and you embark down this path, you will find yourself having more fun, happiness and sexual fulfilment than you ever thought possible. You will be feeling as confident as you did when you were first married and probably find yourself even more in love with your husband and appreciating him more than ever.

 Initially, it might take time before you are completely comfortable describing your fantasies to your hubby, having sex in front of him and enjoying dates with other men without him. To begin with, it is important to go slowly and not rush things, you need to check and nurture your relationship first and foremost. Your husband’s approval and peace of mind is fundamental as most men are unaccustomed to actually sharing their wives even if they have fantasied about it. After all, it is against all that society has groomed him to be; he’ll therefore take some time to overcome his instinctive jealousy and become accustomed to watching or knowing you are being intimate with other men without him.

 You must help his mind accept and be happy for you being with other men; make the thoughts as pleasurable for him as they are for you. You should regularly and casually talk sexually about men, women too if you are that way inclined, like I am. Talk about your past sexperiences, thoughts and lovers in detail whilst in bed together; never be at all reserved about this, thinking you are protecting his feelings in one way or another. Tell him in detail about your best times and your favourite men; whilst you both are being intimate have him imagine you with them as well as being with men you actually know.

 Once your husband is completely comfortable and happy with this, you can gradually move on to actually dating and fucking other men. This really will become quite natural for you both and providing he never feels neglected, he will let you do anything sexually and will get great sexual satisfaction from your encounters with other men, he will be pleased that you are happy and enjoying life. You will discover it will also turn you both on like nothing you’ve ever done before and most importantly, he will be drawn to your womanly sexiness like never before and be more in love with you than at any time in your marriage as your bond strengthens further.

 To find your playmates, look at men everywhere, young and old, enjoy looking at them, but don’t always go on looks. Next time you are out shopping or out and about, see if you can find one guy you fancy in some way. If you do, initiate some form of basic conversation. It may be a little nerve wracking, but do it, you will be happier for it and who knows where it may lead? Visit an adult dating website or a swinger’s club and start interacting with men. Be upfront about your newbie-status and that you’re only dipping your toes at this stage. Get to know some experienced “bulls”, most will be more than happy to answer questions and respect your need to explore at your own pace. You may want to discreetly indicate to those in the know that you are a Hotwife by wearing an anklet; either ankle will do. It is a discreet sign that you are available to date other men with her husband’s permission and approval. For most people who are not aware of the lifestyle, an anklet is simply an anklet and has no other meaning. Maybe wear one and see how you get along?

Try to find men you have a sexual chemistry with, it’s so important. Sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve played with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but months later, I find myself daydreaming about them, it’s either there or it isn’t.

The Hotwife lifestyle takes you away from the routine, like a weekend break or vacation does. You will be intimate with and share another person’s sexuality, looking at a different face and body, hearing a different voice and doing different things with your new lovers that you may not normally do. It will empower you and make you feel different about yourself in a great way. For me, I developed better emotional and physical intimacy with all men, especially my husband, enjoying sex more than ever, making me feel more confident than I ever had done previously.

Remember that open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries and make this lifestyle work for you and your husband. The idea that you are sexy enough to go to another man for your sexual pleasures will drive him crazy with lust for you, trust me! Husbands of Hotwives want to be immersed into their wives’ sexual being completely as they are totally besotted by their wives; they relish the excitement of watching their partner and exploring her sexuality. A husband’s involvement can vary a lot, some Hotwives play completely on their own with no interaction with her hubby, others enjoy their man watching or participating, some do both. All variations on this lifestyle are appropriate, as all couples are unique in what they like, it is up to you. This includes how often the Hotwife dates and or fucks her new male friends, this may be weekly, monthly or just a few times a year, it’s up to you.

After your liaisons with other men, tell your husband all the intimate details whilst relaxing together, have him stroke himself and imagine you being with your lover whilst you tell him about the event. Don’t hide anything at all, if your lover made you cum with his big cock, say so, hold nothing back at all, even if you did stuff with your lover that you haven’t done with your husband. This creates a sexually charged closeness for you both on a continual basis; this is truly special part of the relationship for many couples.

A key point when embarking on this lifestyle is that you take control of your sexuality, it revolves around you, the Hotwife, empower yourself within the confines of your happy marriage. So, when you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact way whether he is to be involved or not. If you are having a man over, discuss with your husband him the things he can do to set the tone and create a special night for you both and your lover.  When your lover arrives, things then change; you are his, think about and look after his needs as well as yours. Don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour, everyone knows he’s there for a sexy time. Unashamedly show your desire for the other man, initiate intimacy and even drool over him and make compliments while your husband watches. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him, if you are not alone that is. Treat him like you treated your husband when you first started fucking. Let your naughty slut come out to play with plenty of dirty talk, give him all he wants and experiment a little. Don’t be shy or act inhibited, do anything you want and don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Be sure to let your husband know when you orgasm with your new lover. Continue to pamper your lover exactly as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. It’s always up to you, you’re the Hotwife, do what turns you on; you are in charge. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

Emotional attachment with your play dates can and will happen, so be watchful that lines are not crossed. Until you’ve got a better handle on things you should only contact a guy to arrange a date for sexual play. I’ve crossed the line in the past so I’m wary of repeating mistakes, common sense prevails here. . If a guy insists on more contact in between dates because he otherwise feels ‘used’, then I recommend moving on. 

 It doesn’t have to be all clinical either, a little contact and “closeness” between a Hotwife and her playfriends is more than appropriate and in many cases quite essential to build up some excitement before a meet. Even if I haven’t had contact with an out-of-town playmate for months, in the lead up to a date, we’ll exchange quite a few flirty and dirty text messages. There’s nothing like anticipation right? In fact, I would feel a bit weird jumping straight into bed with a guy without stoking the fire first. My husband actually likes building up some excitement and energy before a date so he thinks it’s more than fine to communicate or even see him for a drink or two first.

 This lifestyle is about living life to the full, however, you will be unsure at times. What is needed is for you both to take time to acclimatise to this new sexual way of living, so, pause and reflect. Ask yourselves some pertinent questions and then continue living the lifestyle or move on from it, maybe it’s just a little adjustment that is required. 

You must also remember that all women have phases of feeling unsexy and it occasionally takes time and a little effort to lure the sex goddess within you out to play, this is normal. Do not give up or cancel a playdate unless really necessary, persevere and stay on course. Hotwifing in itself is very good for a woman’s self-esteem but unless you feel confident about yourself, you won’t enjoy the experience as much as you should. Pamper and treat yourself to sexy underwear or something that makes you feel good. Men are definitely turned on by happy women. Remember that you are probably your harshest critic so take it easy on yourself.

On occasions when you have been with other men, with your hubby or without him, the next step is very important if you want to keep doing this and ensure your husband is happy supporting your Hotwife lifestyle. Turn all your attention to him, become his again, letting him reclaim you. You must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again, making sure he receives the love and pleasure so that he very much desires to watch you do it again and again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you’re his wife forever and remind him that you love the fact that he lets you enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed the time with your lover; replay the night over and over, tell him you can’t wait to do it again and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you. 

A word sometimes used to describe husbands in this alternative lifestyle, including mine, is “Stag”. This is a man who shares his woman, but without accepting being treated as a subordinate in any way by his wife and lover. Those who do enjoy this are known as Cuckolds and their activities cross over into the Sado-Masochism (S&M) lifestyle, different to what I’m talking about here. The men who entertain Hotwives (also known as Vixens) are called Bulls or perhaps more realistically, her lovers, playfriends or playdates.

 Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your Stag for weeks after he watches or hears about you fucking other men, he will naturally be more attentive and loving than he was before you started being his Hotwife for real, not just in his fantasies. 

The lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever imagined together, there is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. One life, be happy together!

Wow.

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle

So you are now one of the millions of women who learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club. Hopefully you’re past the shock. Maybe you have even reached that point where there is no need for me to tell you how lucky you are. If you’re not then you WILL reach that point if you follow what other wives like me have learned. If you’re like most of us, you were unaware that your husband had these desires. You were living the married life thinking that you knew your husband better than he knew himself. Ha! Too funny. Depending on how long you’ve been married, things may or may not have cooled off in the bedroom. Face it. The rut comes to every bedroom. If it hasn’t don’t be lulled into thinking it won’t happen to you. Some of you may have already had affairs or even had thoughts of leaving your husband out of sheer boredom. Then you somehow found out about his secret fantasy, and hopefully decided that there is a solution for the both of you. Lucky you, even if you don’t know it yet. He wants you to have sex with another man. Wow. Unsure about it? Don’t feel alone. I did too. But take a moment and think about the potential. See all of those other unhappy women out there in boring, sexless marriages? See all those other women around you having affairs, lying to themselves and their husbands, and risking messy divorces? Don’t laugh at them. They were once you, or could have been you. But now you will end up different from them. If you read this and follow it you’re going to find yourself on a road that will return you to sexual fulfillment, feeling as confident as when you were first married, in love with your husband again and appreciating him more than ever. You are on the way to becoming a Hot Wife. A Hot Wife is a woman who is free to have sex with others with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement. The level of her husband’s involvement can vary. In fact it will be up to YOU. Some wives play completely on their own, with no interaction with her husband. Others enjoy their husband watching or participating. However, in all these relationships the wife is free to play with others, while the husband remains completely monogamous and faithful only to her. Sound crazy? Well believe me when I tell you it is easy to do and your sex life will be better than you imagine. In this new relationship the husband is often called a cuckold, which just means a man with a cheating wife. Of course cheating is a misnomer, since the wife’s actions are not hidden from the husband, and he is very aware of her activities. In fact his awareness and approval is one of the most important ingredients. It will turn him on like nothing you’ve ever done before. I assume you’re reading this because you’ve finally found out about your husband’s desires and you are contemplating the Hot Wife lifestyle. Good for you, but you may want some advice. First, go slowly. Do not rush it. Having a husband that enjoys this lifestyle is different, so you need to nurture the relationship first and foremost, while moving into the lifestyle slowly. It might take time before you are comfortable having full on sex in front of him, or he may take time to become accustomed to watching or knowing you are out being intimate with other men. What you want to do is encourage his desires for you to be with other men, and make it as pleasurable for him as it is for you. If you go slowly and follow my advice, in time you will have a husband that will let you do anything sexually. Anything! And he will want you to do more. He will find himself anticipating it as much as you (maybe more than you). He will get his sexual satisfaction from YOUR encounters with other men, and most importantly he will be drawn to you like never before, and more in love with you than at any time in your marriage! In the Hot Wife lifestyle there are three levels of involvement for your husband: 1. You meet other men alone with no involvement from your husband. He may never know them or meet the other men in your life. You meet them on your own, and make all arrangements without any approval from your husband. The other men may or may not know about your lifestyle, or be aware that your husband knows about them. They may not even know you’re married, if you choose to remove your rings and pretend to be single. 2. You meet other men together with your husband, with him knowing them, and them knowing of him. However any interaction between both men is more on a social or perhaps friendship level. Your husband is not involved in any sexual activities between you and the other man. Your husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for you to meet them (your “dates”). But your husband is not included in your sexual encounters, except possibly left to hear them via an open phone call while they are happening. 3. Having sexual relations with other men in your husband’s presence, or even engaging in some sexual play that involves all three of you, ménage à trois style. In the classic cuckold arrangement you engage in sexual play with your lover while your husband watches, but he does not play at all. As an extension of this situation, there can be involvement of the husband in the classic ménage-a-trois arrangement, or traditional three ways. This could involve any degree of sex, which all three agree upon. Some wives prefer their husband be involved sexually and that is your choice. As you will see this will all become about YOUR preferences. Any of these levels can be appropriate, depending on the couple and what they prefer. It’s important to know where you, and to a lesser extent your husband, wish to take things, so open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries. Just make sure that the “other” man fully understands everything as well. It’s important for him to know upfront where he fits into the couple’s relationship. It’s also important that he respect any boundaries you set out (you set the boundaries, NOT your husband). With proper techniques, a new Hot Wife can quickly learn how to get the most from her sexual encounters AND help her husband find new levels of pleasure from a more passive role than he is likely to have experienced earlier in your marriage. This takes time though, as most husbands are accustomed to being the spouse in charge. As you begin, you MUST remember one very important fact. Hot Wife is not just about sex. It’s also about CONTROL. If you are like most women, your husband has been in control so far in your marriage. Right? Well, now you can change that. Hot Wife is about what YOU want. YOUR sexual pleasure. YOUR sexual control. I know it sounds strange. But once you’ve experienced it you WILL enjoy it immensely! Think YOU not HIM. As selfish as it may sound at first, doing so will turn him on more than anything you’ve ever done yet! The change in you by itself will begin to arouse him. Now, here’s what to do the first few times. After that, once you’ve got a taste of it (and he’s thirsty for more), you can do as you damn well please. After all, you are the Hot Wife! (You won’t read stuff like this anywhere else.) Remember rule #1 - The goal is for YOU to be in control of the sex, not him. You do what you want; when you want; and how you want; with whom you want and have him go along with it. Got it? First, you have to set the groundwork from the beginning. If you do it right, he will be totally faithful and a perfect husband to you, as he learns to get his sexual satisfaction in the lifestyle as a result of YOUR being satisfied. Meanwhile you can have fun with your new freedom and let out the little slut that’s bottled up inside every woman. DON’T let him decide what kind of sex or how much sex or who you should have sex with. Remember this - NO CHOICE and NO VOICE. He should have no say in whether or not you jack a man off, or if you chose to screw the entire staff of Starbucks. He should have no say in whether you go out to another mans home, or bring a man into your bedroom. He should have no say in when it happens, or whom you choose. Once you allow him to have a say, then you let the control slip back to him. That’s NOT what you want. You want to be the one in control. Trust me, YOU will love it once it happens, and HE will too (even if he doesn’t know why). When you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact tone. Don’t give him a choice in the matter. Say, “I’m having someone over tomorrow evening and we’re going to spend some time in bed.” Or say, “I’m going out with someone Friday night and I plan to go home with him afterward”. That’s it. You can share as many details as you want (before and after) but don’t let him try to influence you or allow him to shape the event. Be firm. Make it clear that you are making the decision because it’s what you want. Take control of your sexuality and control that aspect of your relationship for that night. Send the message that you’re in charge. If you want, it’s fine to tell him what’s going to happen before you do it. That is a big part of the excitement for many couples. Share all of the details you wish. But the idea is to show him that you’ve made a decision based on YOUR needs and desires, and his needs are secondary to your needs right now. Show him that you’re a horny woman who’s taken charge of getting yourself satisfied without him. The idea that you will go to another man for your sexual fulfillment will drive him crazy with lust for you (trust me!). It’s also important to keep him involved every step of the way. Share everything. Depending on your relationship level, you may want to keep him abreast of your discussions with the other man, share details of your plans, etc. It’s important to keep him involved, but as a SPECTATOR and NOT a participant. This creates a sexually charged experience for him, even before you have ANY sex at all! If you are having thoughts about calling someone to meet this weekend, tell him. Let the suspense and excitement build. It’s a game. Share it with him and it will excite you BOTH. When the big day arrives to meet a man, be deliberately aloof and distant from your husband the entire day. Give him some tasks to keep him busy, maybe something that helps prepare for your evening. Perhaps send him out to buy a nice bottle of wine, or tidy up around the household. Many couples enjoy the ritual of the husband helping the wife prepare herself for a date. You can have him help you bathe or shower, and dry you off. Have him put on your panties and stockings. I talk to my husband and tease him, I tell him to get me ready for the other man’s cock, etc. Doing this lays the groundwork early on. It puts you in charge and creates an atmosphere where he begins to mentally relinquish his rights to you, as part of turning you over to another man. Doing this also reinforces the new power you have. It will also make the sex more intense between the two of you during the next few days, when he takes charge of you again. It’s an important part of the game that has powerful appeal, and helps bond you together. If you are having a man over, have your husband arrange the areas where you will entertain (living room, bedroom, ect). Dim the lights. Light some candles and put on some quiet music as you wait. If he will be present in the bedroom, have him prepare an area off to the side from where he will watch. When the man arrives, EVERYTHING should change. Discuss beforehand what your husband’s role will be. Assuming that he remains present, there are certain things you can do to set the tone, and create an unforgettable night for him AND you. First, have it prearranged for him to sit somewhere out of the way, so that you and your lover can carry on as if your husband is NOT THERE AT ALL (this is VERY important). I usually tell the other man to ignore my husband. After the early pleasantries my husband seldom interacts with us at all. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting. When the man arrives at your home, don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour. This is a common mistake. It’s too awkward to prolong things. Everyone knows he’s there for sex. There’s no reason to delay. Since it’s all about sex, look for the first chance to break the ice and get started. This is part of your “take charge” persona that comes with the control you’ve assumed. Show your desire for the other man by initiating intimacy while your husband watches. If I know him from previous dates I often give a full kiss to my “date” right in the doorway and linger, perhaps even lightly rub his crotch a bit, giving him a chance to return the grope. Then I walk him into the living room, with my husband either following or already waiting for us. Depending on the man, I sometimes prefer to have an adult video playing on the TV with the volume turned down, and pleasant music playing lightly in the background. With a nice glass of wine this is a sure-fire way to get things going without much delay. You can linger there if you want, or wildly strip off your clothes and jump on him, or lead him to the bedroom. It’s up to you. You’re the Hot Wife. Some women like to tease their husbands for a while. Others just like to plop down in the doorway and start sucking within seconds. It’s up to you. Do what turns YOU on. YOU are in charge. Some wives like to NOT look at or talk to their husband AT ALL, especially during the first few times he watches. But some husbands want their wives to look them in the eye while they’re enjoying their new lover. It can be very exciting to tell your husband how GOOD it feels, how much BIGGER he is than your husband, and how much BETTER the sex feels. Cuckold husbands want their hotwives to have the BEST sexual experience of their lives, so let him know that is what you are getting. It can be extremely sexy either to ask if it’s OK for your lover to cum inside of you, or for your husband to hear you TELL your lover to cum inside of you. And be sure to let your husband know each and every time you orgasm with your new lover. On the other hand, you can try to totally PRETEND HE’S NOT THERE. Some watching husbands love this. They like to think they are anonymously watching you have a secret sexual affair. But in any case, they want to see you lost with your lover, while they get a front row seat to the best live porn they will ever experience. Here’s more advice for the first few times. ENJOY yourself! Don’t be shy or act inhibited. Don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him. Many women feel inhibited and reserved with their husband watching, but this hinders what you want to accomplish. He wants to see you in the throes of wild passion, without a care in the world (least of all worrying about your husband). It may take you some time to do it, but putting him out of your mind should be your goal. Here’s another tip - treat your lover like you treated your husband WHEN YOU WERE DATING. Ladies, you know what this means. Let your slut come out! Plenty of oral sex. Plenty of fucking. Multiple times if possible. Give him all he wants, until he can’t see straight and you can’t walk straight! When he’s done, continue to pamper him EXACTLY as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. After he leaves, you think you’re done and now it’s time for some sleep? Surprise girl! It’s not close to being over yet. The next step is VERY important if you want to keep doing this. It’s important that your husband support your Hot Wife life, and that he be behind you all the way. So, even if you’re tired, you must immediately turn ALL your attention to your husband. Turn off the distant, sex-starved Hot Wife games you played earlier and become ALL HIS AGAIN! Let him reclaim you as his own. Reassure him that you’re still his wife and that you love him even MORE for allowing you this night of pleasure! Depending on the couple, you may or may not have sex right away, or even for days after (this is up to you two). He may even have masturbated earlier, while watching you. I know some husbands who just watch without a hard-on but then end up fucking their wives like madmen for days after the date. Many husbands will want to perform CLEAN UP duty. This is where the husband licks the lovers cum from the wife’s pussy or off of her breasts. It can be EXTREMELY arousing for both involved! It’s a primal reaction serving to both reclaim the wife and show the husband’s subservience to her pleasure. But even though they desire this, most husbands will not do this on their own. Your husband may want you to ORDER HIM to perform clean up duty. This maintains the woman’s sexual dominance in all areas of the Hot Wife lifestyle. But each relationship is different. Do what’s right for you two. But as soon as the other man departs you must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again. Make sure he receives the love and pleasure and release he needs to REINFORCE his desire to watch you do it again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you love him and care about him, that you’re his wife forever. Most importantly, remind him that you LOVE the fact that he lets enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed that night. Tease him while replaying the night over and over. Tell him you can’t wait to do it again. Tell him how self-assured and unique he is to be able to share you the way he does, and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you. Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your husband for weeks after he watches, and he will be more attentive and loving than he was before you started these games. That’s just another benefit of the lifestyle. When that happens, you’ll become hooked on the Hot Wife lifestyle, and so will he. If you do this, the lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever enjoyed together. In time, his most intense sexual pleasure will come from you HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE, as crazy as that might sound. And what could be better for you? You get to take charge of your sex life. You get to explore new sexual horizons most married women never experience. Your husband will love and adore you more than he ever has, and you BOTH stay sexually fulfilled. There is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. If you lay the right groundwork and do it correctly from the beginning, you can have a supportive, open-minded husband and the freedom to do whatever you want with his blessing. To me, there is no better marriage than one that is open and sexually permissive. Without my loving husband involved in my new life, I would probably have long ago been divorced and miserable by now. So get out there and get started.

This is amazing. There are some posts that I feel should be collated into a kind of official guide, and this is one of them. Well done and thanks for your effort.

Suggestive Dirty Talk Options

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie playing. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.

I think I need to take her shopping.

Really well said. 80% resonates with me.

Why He Let Me Do It

I had asked my husband to write a few notes about why he "lets" me do it. I don't mean to seem like he controls me, because he doesn't. However, if he told me tomorrow he'd like me to stop having sex with other men, I would. Because in the end it is about our marriage. So here's what he wrote.

Because it absolutely makes our communication stronger. There are no secrets, and that is super sexy and hot. Even when we're out and you say something like, "that guy is super hot". Every woman thinks it, but few have the freedoms to say it because of their own insecurity, or the insecurity of their husband, which comes out as jealousy. 

Sex was always good with you of course, but it's way better since it started. Way better. It's more erotic, since we open up our marriage. It never fails either--when you've been with other guys, our sex after is more passionate. I can feel it. 

I see your confidence and the fun that you're having. It doesn't take away from us, it adds to us, and to you. I love seeing how erotic you are, and I love it when you describe an encounter with your guys. Most men would be threatened, I am not. I love it. 

I love surprising you by planning a date for you with a random strager men. I love how it brings out the femininity in you. 

I love the not knowing. I go to work, and I don't know if you're having sex with someone. That makes every single day erotic in a hard-to-define way. In the times that I "catch" you in the act? Super freaking hot. 

All of the different possibilities that are opened up by this--the physical, mental, are all a lot of fun, and thrilling. I love the fact that you get a lot of sexual satisfaction, from me and from others. But in the end, I know you love it, and it brings us closer together. That's the best part. 

I do wish it, even though I don't quite understand why the idea gets me so hard

Hello! I bet your wife is sexy. Only because my wife is and I love the hotwife fantasy. Actually my wife has stepped out on me in the past but it's been awhile.

Yes, she is very sexy. I can't get enough of her. I don't expect her to be everyone's cup of tea, but nobody is. We all have our own tastes and kinks, and she's mine. I wouldn't change her for anything.

I'd love for her to follow through with this fantasy, but that has to be totally up to her. I'm encouraging her experience of pleasure through my kink, so if she doesn't find pleasure in it, I won't push her.

AI image generator advice

I'd like to run my sketches through an AI generator and see if I can get photo-realistic versions of them. Can anyone recommend an AI Platform that will offer "sketch to image" generation that also allows adult content?

Absolutely - the naughtier, the better.