Me And My Tall Muscular Fictional Boyfriend 🌷💭🍰🧸♡

work on your grammar and spelling

English is not my first language! I'm sorry for any confusion that my grammar or spelling mistakes can make, I'm Brazilian, i speak portuguese and english, a bit of spanish and currently working on learning italian!

Loser!König hires sex workers to get him off and take his virginity because no woman would dare step too close to a sickening and freakish bastard like König.

He claims that the reason women fear a man like him is because of the sheer size of him, how they already know that having sex with him would be nothing more than pure agony. He towers above most people, standing at almost seven-feet. In reality, it's a mixture of König's nature and personality that truly terrifies people.

He's incredibly socially awkward. He can't hold a conversation for the life of him, as a bead of sweat runs down his forehead, avoiding eye contact with you to save himself a slither of embarrassment as he stumbles and stutters over his words helplessly, the thought of crawling into a hole sounding appetising and reasonable. He can feel their judgemental and curious gaze wander his body, looking for something to criticise, a question about his height usually, causing him to recoil and groan at the familiar, arrogant remark.

It doesn't help that König can't tell the difference between a friendly and appropriate conversation and flirting. A woman is speaking to him? Well, clearly she needs to be dicked down. There's no other reason for a woman to talk to him, even if you're just trying to do your job...

He has had sex workers back out of their job just at the sight of him. There's a reason he doesn't mention his size beforehand, hoping someone will look at his flushed, unsightly, and humiliated face that only a mother could adore and pity him. Please, empathise with him! Just touch his brute chest, and he'll come in his boxers. Practice making out with him and realise how truly disgusting and horrible he is, how he can't properly kiss and bites your bottom lip with his sharp, pearly teeth accidentally, apologising profusely through gasps and heavy breathing.

Just hold his hand and look at him lovingly, pretend you find him attractive, and he'll tip you hundreds for your generosity, for doing charity work...

perv!johnny and perv!kyle who spot you at the public pool, lounging in that cute little string bikini, and decide then and there: they have to have you. but johnny's never been one for patience, so kyle ever the loyal accomplice, takes a little dive.

with a pair of goggles strapped on, kyle slips beneath the water, unseen, fingers deft as he tugs at the ties of your bikini bottoms. a quick pull, a flick of his wrist, and they’re gone. (kyle will put them to good use later, don’t you worry.)

you don’t even notice at first. not until you make your way toward the pool ladder, reach the first step, and feel a cool rush of water where fabric should be. panic sets in, your thighs snap together, and you sink back into the pool, trapping yourself beneath the surface.

enter johnny. ever the gentleman, he strolls over with a towel slung over his shoulder, offering it out to you with an easy grin. his cock chubs at the slightest glimpse of your bare ass as you wrap it around yourself, hurrying back to your lounge chair to slip your shorts on. when you return to hand him the towel, cheeks warm with embarrassment, you murmur something about how grateful you are, how you’d love to repay him somehow.

johnny tilts his head, smirks. that so?" his voice drops, low and inviting. "how do the showers sound?"

you freeze. gulp. but before you can even think of a response, his hand is already at the small of your back, guiding you inside.

the door swings shut behind you. and outside, gaz takes his post, arms crossed, standing guard until johnny signals him for his turn.

quite the duo, those two.

i dont bite people anymore. but i did as a child cos i thought i was a werepuppy. also i was still mormon so i would go into the school bathroom at 11:11 everyday (not a mormon thing i was just obsessed with witches n pretended i was one in 5th grade) and pray that god would turn me into a little dog so i could stop going to school. and i was always like "if you don't turn me into a little dog i will STOP BELIEVING IN YOU" and he didn't so i did.

what if john's wife wasnt so into poly?

tw: murder and kidnapping, bloody

"don't ya remember what I said last time lovie?" all you can do it stare at the man who haunts you, wandering down the halls he should no longer have access to. Your breathing turns rapid as you peek the liquid red ribbons that begin to trickle down the wall.

"We can't let ya go, can't be without our girl, boys have been missin' ya". His voice is devoid of anything trace of emotion, you wondered if this was a mission to him. Your wide eyes are glued to the corpse, his feet at the corner of the bed and as he lifts you up it reveals more and more, you had held hope he'd still survive but that fire is soon put out, your heart dropping and bile builds as you see the aftermath. red liquid piles on the now saturated rug, stained pink.

He stops, instead of tucking you away or covering your eyes, he lets you see it, a warning, letting you soak the scene in and when you pull your eyes away from it, a harsh tug to your hair doesn't let you. he wants you to take in every blood splatter and grey matter smeared against the wall, your lover looks like a rotten mushroom, flesh hanging lose around where bone structure should be.

"not lookin' aye? I reckon I found his brain, surprise enough its not in his ass." his boot kicks the body revealing more cruelty.

"you didn't have to do this." your voice cracks and rasp, desperate to keep the tears at bay but it doesnt do anything good, soon tears slide down your cheeks, you body shudders as it chokes on sobs.

The bun you wore to bed is gathered in his fist, hes able to yank and tug as though he was a puppet master. After you've studied the now concave head and the too many to count stab wounds. His grip soon vanishes and you float out the room, tucked in his arms.

you feel like a traitor as you find yourself seeking out comfort, nestling into the neck of the man who just came into your home and murdered your 2nd chance at love.

"your suppose to be with us, lovie." there it is, the gruff, this hurts me more than it hurts you. "can't let ya think you can do this shit to me, im your husband, til death 'n all that shite, you made a vow to me."

"just count yer self lucky I didnt let simon do this, he was eager to get ya back." your stomach twists at the thought, you'd have to face them, simon was as loyal as a dog to price, you can only dread how his teeth will come down on you and tear you apart.

Simon Riley posts an ad for a stray cat he does not want, and you answer.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem! Reader

Tags: fluff, short n’ sweet, eventual romance/smut

Pt. 1, Pt. 2 | ao3 | mlist✎ᝰ.ᐟ

It has to be some form of trauma. A hallucination. A dream. Anything but that stupid fawn-colored cat outside his door.

Scratching. Meowing. Terrorizing him.

He ignores it for as long as he possibly will. Turns the volume of his TV up, washes clothes to drown out the sound, pretends for a while longer that he doesn’t know what’s waiting for him just outside his wooden door. That it doesn’t have a tail and four legs.

But he can’t push it away forever, he’s a man for fucks sake. He doesn’t flee and cower in the face of a threat. A small one at that, curled on his skull mat, waiting for the moment he accepts his fate and opens his damn door. A hostage in his own home.

So, he cracks his door open— just a smidge.

Looks to see if the animal is really there or if the voices, cats, inside his head are playing a cruel joke on him. And sure enough, there it is, licking its paws leisurely as if it fucking belongs there.

A part of him had been hoping he was going crazy, that he was just imagining the high-pitched meow. He could deal with crazy, preferred it actually.

What he couldn’t deal with was the cat outside who seemed convinced he was its home. He’s grateful he hasn’t deleted your contact yet, for multiple reasons now.

It’s easy to ignore the cat, even easier to shut his door in its face, deny it access to his home. Now, as he remembers the events of last week, he thinks he should bring it inside. He’s not entirely fond of the idea, but he’s even less fond of roaming the neighborhood for a second time for the cat.

This is how he finds himself staring at it with a scrutinizing squint and crossed arms on his kitchen counter. It stretches, two front legs reaching out while its hind raises in the air. Simon has to ignore the fact that it’s dirty paws are on his kitchen counter and that it’s fur doesn’t fly in the air as it shimmies itself into a sitting position. He’ll have to bleach the spot and purge the area of any remnants of the pest.

The cat doesn’t seem to sense his aversion because it just stares back, slowly blinking, tail whipping behind it like it’s happy, content. Staring affectionately at him like he hasn’t spent the last several months doing everything in his power to get rid of it.

When you arrive, he begrudgingly takes it into his arms, opens the door to an anxious smile and more fuzzy socks. He dangles it between the two of you with both hands around its torso.

You squeal at the sight, “Churro! What are you doing here, huh? It’s a long distance, pretty lady! It must have been a very dangerous adventure.”

Simon watches you talk to the cat like it can understand you, watches the way your brows pinch, and a small frown forms on your lips in actual concern for its safety. It’s confusing that you would care so deeply for such a thing, but it makes the corners of his lips twitch.

Churro just meows, rubbing her nose and forehead against your cheek. This makes you coo, smiling gently at her, pressing your cheek against hers in turn.

You haven’t even turned your focus to him for a second, no ‘thank you for watching the demon,’ no ‘hi, how are you?’ Just more kisses and sugar-spun words to your precious kitty.

“Was the big scary man mean to you?” You ask, staring at it with beady eyes, “Did he call you the devil again?”

Oh really, cat lady? That’s how it’s going to be? He supposes teasing is better than you being terrified of him.

He scoffs, “Did no such thing.”

You finally look at him, giggling softly as you pull Churro back against your chest, “I’m sure you were nothing but generous to her.”

“I was. Treated the damn thing like royalty.” He grumbles because he was. Carried it into his home even though he wanted to do the complete opposite just so you could have your bloody cat back. And all he has to show for it is you ignoring him for the likes of the cat.

“Well,” You say, nodding your head, “I’m sorry you had to deal with her again. I left her inside before leaving for work, I’m not sure how she managed to get out.”

That was the first time it happened, and of course, it wasn’t the last. Nothing seemed that way with ‘Churro’ because the following week she made her appearance at his house again.

It became a routine. Once a week Churro made her way over to Simon’s like she was visiting him, Simon messaged you— ‘The demon is here.’

Sat Churro on his counter and watched her with pinpointed eyes while he waited. Then you arrived shortly with snuggles and apologies. A new explanation each time; you closed all the windows, checked twice, even locked them! Same with your doors, there was no way for her to get out, but somehow she always managed to escape.

Simon didn’t entirely mind the whole ordeal. Didn’t mind you, quite frankly, he liked opening his door to Tasman slippers, a glimmer in your eyes, and a soft noise of excitement. Pretended as if it was because of seeing him and not the stupid cat in his hands.

Except somewhere along the lines, Simon’s hatred for Churro morphed into something else completely. Ignoring her for as long as he could turned into letting her in after the first scratch. A glowering scowl shifted to furrowed brows. Crossed arms and balled fists became relaxed and loosened at his side. Helicopter supervision simmered into free access, let Churro roam his house while they waited for you.

That wasn’t to say he liked the damn cat because he didn’t. Tolerated her at most. For you, at least.

Irritation still burnt his lungs when he watched you coddle her, when you ignored him as you took her into your arms and rocked her back and forth, when you cuddled her close to your chest and hummed tender words to her instead of him.

Simon wasn’t exactly sure what it was or what it meant. Not when he deprived himself of anything of the sort, thought he had buried it six feet under and sealed it with a cross. But that was the thing, he couldn’t exactly mourn the loss of something when he hadn’t fully committed to severing it of himself completely, held on to it with a thin thread.

It became painfully apparent when he texted you not to come to pick up Churro one day; it was pouring rain, storming, and as much as he didn’t want to have the damn cat overnight, he’d much rather keep you from being stuck in a storm. Still, he opened the door to drenched clothes, shaking fingers, and chattering teeth. His temples pinched, ushering you inside instantly.

Maybe he shouldn’t care, shouldn’t invite you inside, but he does anyways.

“Bird,” He sighed, “Told you to stay home.”

“I know,” You shivered, petting Churro with a wet palm, “But I felt guilty. I know you don’t want Churro here and we’re just inconveniencing you.”

“Not an inconvenience, I don’t mind doing it for you,” He grumbled, “Stay right here. You’re not going back until the storm stops.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth parting slightly, but he doesn’t give you time to respond, leaving you standing there in shock before bringing back dry clothes for you, a black sweater, and gray sweats.

“Here,” He grunted, handing you the clothes, “You can change in my bathroom.”

“Oh no! It’s okay, I can just go home,” You argued, attempting to push the clothes back in his grasp.

Simon levels you with a sharp look, makes you pull the clothes to your chest because he won’t take no as an answer for your safety.

“Okay, yeah,” You nod your head, “Yeah.”

He makes tea on the stove while waiting for you, Churro jumps on the counter in the meantime, with a soft chirp, plopping her way over to rub her body against his forearm.

“Oy, be careful,” He chastises, pushing her away, “Stove’s bloody hot.”

“So you do care about her!”

Simon turns around to find you standing in the doorway of his kitchen. There’s a smug look on your face, but he doesn’t focus on that, can’t focus on anything other than how you look in his clothes. You swim in the material, sweater sleeves hiding your hands completely, sweats pooling at your sock-clad feet. He has to pinch the inside of his cheek to hide his smile at the sight.

It’s cute. Endearing. Makes his teeth ache in his mouth, fingers twitching against the pot on the stove in a strangely possessive way. He doesn’t even care that he’s been caught caring for the damn pest when something warms curls in his chest.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lies.

You laugh, padding your way over to his side, “Oh, whatever. Now I know why she keeps coming over here to see you.”

“And why’s that? I can’t for the life of me figure out why she won’t stop botherin’ me.”

“Maybe she has a crush on you,” You joke, cupping Churro’s face in your palms, “Huh, pretty lady? Do you have a crush on the big scary man?”

He snorts, “Not likely.”

You lean towards him as he hands you a cup of tea, “Maybe she thinks you’re her dad.”

Simon stares at you a little dumbfounded, watches you turn to talk to Churro again, asking if she thinks Simon is her dad. He tries to submerge the overwhelming feeling underwater, drown it, and wash away the insinuation, but it’s almost impossible when you’re adorned in his clothes, oversized fabric hanging off your smaller frame.

Excuses himself by clearing his throat, throwing your soaked clothes in the dryer to distract himself from the drowning.

The storm lasts for a little while, so you sit on his couch with Churro curled in your lap, purring quietly to sleep. Simon tries to scavenge a meal for you, but he doesn’t have much in his fridge, wishes this was planned, so he could cook you something worth eating. You don’t mind, shushing him when he apologizes with an assortment of snacks on a tray, giggling softly at his poor attempt to feed you.

“It’s okay,” You reassure, smiling pleased at him, “I’m not really hungry anyways. Next time we can prepare more.”

Yeah, next time.

When the storm relents, the two of you are preoccupied, finishing a movie you wanted to watch. Some rom-com, he doesn’t entirely know, can’t focus much when he’s sitting next to you on his couch. There’s a measly cushion separating the two of you, sitting on either end of the couch, but it still claws at the back of his mind no matter how much he tries to rationalize it.

In his home. Sat on his couch. Wearing his clothes.

He tries not to be greedy, claim you as his own, but it only gets worse when you pull your feet up, leaning your head against the back of the cushion, snuggling deeper into his couch, and making yourself comfortable. He’s sure you don’t even realize that the storm ended or when you turn towards him and ask if he liked the movie.

He doesn’t mind that you stayed after the rain stopped, doesn’t even mind that Churro made her way to his lap halfway through the rom-com. You don’t point it out either, just flicker your eyes with a knowing smile.

Did he like the movie? He honestly can’t recall a single line.

@lighthousebats @cococococ @sai-int @tessakate @starboykel @imrandomstuffsblog @your-internet-tenshi @glossy01 @orangegreensun @uriahs-burn @ye-olde-trash-panda @akkahelenaa

thank you to my sweet @bunnybeaches for the cat name ‘Churro.’ 🐇🤍

König was still getting used to office work; this wasn't his way of working. He would rather smack the shit out of someone instead of being sat in a desk for the whole day and dealing with paperwork.

Wearing a tie and suit wasn't his thing; he kind of missed the weight of the gear on his body and the uniform that was all sweaty and dirty by the end of the day.

But you, you make it less miserable. You were the one to make sure he was ready to go, his sweet wife that makes his life worth living and that he loves with all his heart.

You always enjoyed tying his tie before he went to work, and he always enjoyed watching you. It was so adorable seeing his sweet wife so focused, with your tongue peeking out of your lips and your brow furrowed (the way you tie isn't the greatest, but he won't tell you that; he loves you too much). And then giving him a little kiss before he goes to work.

Last night, he arrived late, and when he got home, you were already sleeping and dinner was cold. He had to heat it up in the microwave and eat without you, had to wash the dishes without you, had to shower without you, and just then, he could cuddle your warm, soft body. He wanted more; he was needier that night, but, maybe you had a bad day, were tired or something, he didn't want to wake you up, having to take care of himself alone in the bathroom. He never imagined he would ever do anything like that again after getting married, but, oh well, he doesn't want to bother his sweet wife, who was always so caring and loving.

In the morning, everything went as usual; you cooked him breakfast while he showered. Of course, he called you to help him with his tie, the innocent sweet thing you always did before saying goodbye. But he was restless, his leg shaking, breathing a little too heavily, and the hands on your waist a bit too tight.

Fuck it, you looked too irresistible helping him like that, looking too cute tying your husband's tie, tongue peeking out, eyebrows furrowed, hands slightly touching his chest.

All of a sudden, he picks you up and throws you in the bed, the bulge in his pants now looking a lot more obvious...

Let's just say you had to help him with his clothes again and that he was late to work.

i wanna suck his dick so bad

so uhh i want to write more stuff about the hybrid farm sooo who u guys think should be the mean coyote bc yeah i love mean man

ive been thinking maybe graves, makarov, krueger or nikto (dont worry abt konig i have special plans for him

You're a lil cow at a hybrid farm, your farmer is the person you love the most, his name is John Price and he loves you too! but you're just a little stubborn cow who refuses to get breed and produce milk to his farm even though you were VERY expensive and that is getting on his nerves, your body was made to make more babies and produce warm milk but you doesn't want to get breed... Until he basically forces you by saying 'if you don't contribute to the farm, you won't be part of it' and of course, you can't quite survive in the wild so you follow your farmer to the stall and... and the bull is scary! he's big, dirty blonde hair, penetrating dark brown eyes that seem to look into your soul and his fur makes it looks like he has a skull on his face, he's twice your size and so intimidating! You're just a cute lil cow, why does you mate have to be so scary? Didn't Price had other bulls that weren't so terrifying?! Like the one with the funny accent or the one that was always wearing a sunglass, they look are definitely are less intimidating than... This thing!

...

Well, at least the babies you and him made are cute and strong, and your milk is as delicious as Price imagined.