To You I'm The Monster.

A comforting thought

Five thousand years ago, the Sumerians called the night ngi, the stars mul, and the moon Nanna.

Four thousand years ago, the Akkadians called the night mūšu, the stars kakkabū, and the moon Sîn.

Three thousand years ago, the Hittites called the night išpanza, the stars haštereš, and the moon Arma.

Two and a half thousand years ago, the Greeks called the night nux, the stars astra, and the moon Selênê.

Two thousand years ago, the Romans called the night nox, the stars stellae, and the moon Luna.

Kings and queens and heroes looked up at them. So did travelers coming home, and little children who sneaked out of bed. So did slaves, and mothers and soldiers and old shepherds, and Sappho and Muršili and Enheduanna and Socrates and Hatshepsut and Cyrus and Cicero. In this darkness it didn’t matter who they were, or where they stood. Only that they were human.

Think of that tonight, when you close your window. You are not alone. You share this night sky with centuries of dreamers and stargazers, and people who longed for quiet. Are you anxious? The Hittites were too: they called it pittuliyaš. Does your heart ache? The Greeks felt it too: they called it akhos. Those who look up to the stars for comfort are a family, and you belong to them. Your ancestors have stood under Nanna, Sîn, Arma, Selênê and Luna for five thousand years. Now its light is yours.

May it soothe you well.

hello, community. to tell you the truth, lately i've been thinking a lot about finding a pen pal, but not via emails, but real letters, like in the good old days. we could put some stickers in there, pictures, and the letter itself. maybe someone wants to try? but i don't want my first letter to go unanswered, so the most important thing is the desire to take part in this. feel free to contact me.

Hello Wolf!

we would like to request a moodboard if you’d be so kind as to make us one

we would like coyote, gray cat and falcon as the theriotypes with a forest and dark brown and cream theme.

thank you and we deeply appreciate you, take as much time as you might need

-🕊

💚💚💚

hi! i have a question about the russian language that i've been trying unsuccessfully to get answered on quora and reddit, i've seen your blog and thought you might have an answer?

i'm part russian and am interested in exploring and honoring my heritage. i want to change my last name to a russian word that is meaningful to me. i'm not yet fluent in russian so i don't know what the proper spelling would be. i want to use the word "integrity", as a moral standard for myself and my future family. i understand it can be spelled целостность (directly meaning integrity) or целостный (translating more to holistic/complete) what would be the proper spelling for the word as a surname? thank you!

/genq

are you serious? why should i even know anything about russian lmao. i speak Ukrainian.

Hello! Could I have a dark starfolk (Worldless) moodboard with fire, Transient Luminous Events (Especially red sprites and ELVES), deep sea stuff and space themes please? Thank you in advance!

~ @empyrean-demise

Anyone else feel like an outcast in the alterhuman community?

Most of the therians/alterhumans/nonhumans I see online are minors; I’m 20 years old.

Most of them can do quadrobics; I can’t run on all fours for five minutes without everything hurting, and if I did a jump, I’d probably break my wrists

A lot of them seem to enjoy the company of humans; I’ve never trusted or liked humans

Most of the community talks about being “silly” or “cute” when experiencing a mental shift; I have violent, animal instincts and avoid others when I feel a mental shift coming on

I don’t know. I just feel like a lot of us have become… tame. And I’m not. I feel like we as a community don’t talk about the “darker” side of not being human. The violent prey drive. The instinctive fear of humans that wild animals have.

To clarify, I mean no hate towards those who genuinely enjoy not being human. I just feel like even in a community of outcasts, I’m an outcast.

It’s just frustrating. In a place meant for those who aren’t human, I’m still too different to fit in. I just want to have a place to belong, you know?

Hello! Let's get started!

𝐓𝐨 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐈 𝐨𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 "𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬," 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐌𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫, 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜, 𝐬𝐢𝐫 𝐜, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞.

𝐌𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 : 𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐢𝐦 ; 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 ; 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 18.

𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬, 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠.

𝐈'𝐦 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟. 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!

𝐈'𝐦 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 "𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞". 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬. 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲.

𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬.

𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬.

(Non)Humanity and Species Dysphoria: the Forced Transformation Trope

Written by Gavin on August 25, 2024.

As a nonhuman, do you ever think about why there's so many stories and myths and legends about humans being turned into animals? You ever wonder why it's usually a punishment or a curse, or why the characters try to do whatever it takes to become human again? You ever think, "I don't understand, I would love to be an animal and get rid of my human body, what's the problem?"

As a human myself, one whose system has been in the alterhuman community for years, I hope I can help bridge the gap of understanding here.

The way many humans see being turned into an animal as a curse, the way they'd be incredibly distressed about becoming nonhuman?

That is species dysphoria.

That is a human experiencing species dysphoria, because being perceived as nonhuman or other-than-human causes the exact same feelings of pain and wrongness and disconnection from their body that a nonhuman can experience when perceived as human.

(Particularly, this might be an orthohuman, someone who has a normative relationship with their human cultural and species identity, as opposed to an alterhuman, who experiences alternative/nonnormative humanity or a species identity separate from humanity. Human alterhumans can also experience this sort of species dysphoria - hi, I'm one of them.)

Imagine being your species your entire life, the way you know you're intended to be, living in a body you're comfortable in - and then having that body ripped away from you. Being forced to live in a form that doesn't match who you are, what you know you are, and desperately wanting to find a way to change back because you know you're not meant to be like this.

If this sounds familiar because it's what you experience as a nonhuman - that is how a lot of human beings feel about being transformed into something nonhuman. It's the feeling of being the wrong species! It's the desire to return to the form that you know as yourself!

The fact that orthohumans are born into the species they identify as does not mean that they could never comprehend your nonhuman experience. You can explain your nonhuman species dysphoria to an orthohuman. Given all the examples of unwanted transformation stories throughout human history, I think you're likely to find that they'll understand when you put it in that frame of reference.

"How would you feel about being turned into another species against your will, leaving behind everything that feels good and right and comfortable about your human body? That sounds horrible, right? That's how I feel, being nonhuman in a human body, and it's distressing in the same way you would hate being human and stuck in a nonhuman body."

I know that the gap between humanity and nonhumanity looks enormous. The horror of, say, werewolf mythology looks like a completely alien experience when you are a wolf, so you see being transformed into a wolf as nothing short of a wonderful experience, and you don't understand why anyone would see it as horrifying.

But if you understand that it's not about the species, but the experience of species dysphoria, of being trapped in a body that has never been yours and desperately trying to return to one that feels like you, well - that's a lot more understandable, isn't it?

Humanity and nonhumanity are not two opposite ends of a binary, destined to never understand each other. I know many alterhumans who are both human and nonhuman, and their humanity is an identity in much the same way as their nonhumanity. Humans are just another species on this planet, as bipedal tool-using social primates, and we have our species identities just like many nonhumans. You are not as alone in this world as you might think you are.

There is room for understanding and connection. Your experiences as nonhuman are not purely individual, not wholly unique, not utterly incomprehensible to human beings, and this is a good thing. The gap isn't actually as wide as it seems. You can reach out and cross it if you just remember - you have far more in common than you might think.

Do you remember what it was like to be a star? How did you perceive the space around you? Also, what stage in your life cycle were you?

Sorry if this is all too personal! I just love hearing about celestial bodies!! So fascinating :]]

Hello!

Understanding the concept of "very personal" is a bit blurred for me, given my celestial nature as a star. Many human experiences are unfamiliar to me, but I appreciate your interest and am happy to answer.

Trying to convey the essence of being a star using human language is quite a challenge. As a star, I am essentially a large, radiant energy pulsating ball with what could be considered a soul or spirit. Space around me is home and this is an absolutely amazing. You have a sense of stability and a feeling of floating at the same time. I have a unique connection with other stars, enabling us to communicate in a special way. I was a young main sequence star if you explain it in scientific human categories but a process is individual for each star.

Thank you for your question. May the stars always guide you!

do you have memories/noemata? if so, whats your favorite one?

Hello! Thank you for your question. A significant part of my life has been spent in the vastness of space, but I was also sent to Earth for educational purposes. While on Earth, I took on a humanoid form and created many memories. Here are two that stand out to me:

One memory is the joyful occasion when I was named the heir to the ruler of my realm in space. It was an exciting moment, with the stars pulsating and sparkling in celebration—I became a "prince" in my community!

The second memory is tied to my time on Earth, before the rise of ancient civilizations. It’s when I met my soul mate and love, a cherished moment that holds a special place in my heart.

May the stars guide you.