The Fact That I’ll Never Actually Be Able To Date And Eventually Marry Any Of My Celebrity Crushes

★𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Word count:742

Proof read: yessirrr

WARNINGS: reader being like harassed by some guy,swearing,anxious matt(ik that might cause flash backs for some of you), reader is mentioned as 'internet famous' , threats of violence

A/N: came up with this on a whim so it’s probs not my best writing

𖦹 𖦹

“Can you just do it for me pleaseeee” Matt begged as we sat at the McDonald’s table looking at his wrong order.it wasn’t even just slightly wrong,it was a whole different meal.he had ordered a 10 piece meal and got a Mc chicken.

Normally I would’ve just gone up and said something but I was quite literally in the middle of eating.like 17 fires stuffed in my mouth. “Matt you are a grown ass 20 year old man, you can tell them you got the wrong order.”I said with my mouth full

He looked at me with an annoyed and nervous face,smacked his arm against his side a bit and then eventually grabbed his tray and anxiously walked up to the counter to tell them the order was wrong. I love him but he has to break out of his shell and stop being so nervous.

The face he made as he walked back to me with a tray of the right foods was enough to make me burst out laughing (this face😐). “See, was it that hard? ''I said with a shit eating grin as my boyfriend sat down in front of me with his food that he actually ordered.

“Never again, that was so awkward oh my gosh” he said as he shook his head beginning to eat his food.i dismissed his dramaticness as I turned back to my food.

♩♫♬♭♪♩♪♫♬♫♪♩♭♬♫♩♪♬♭♪♪♩♬♭

Matt wasn't big on parties.he almost never went to them in highschool and continued that streak Into adulthood.but tonight was different.I had somehow dragged him to a party.mainly because if he didn't go with me than I would've have had to go alone.and ya'know a 19 year old girl who also happens to be internet famous at a party alone didn't sound super good.so he hesitantly came along with me.

Once I had gotten pretty tired of dancing in the large group of people I decided I would head over to the bar where Matt was standing with a drink which I could only assume to be coke. when I was about 5 steps away from my boyfriend a sweaty hand gripped my shoulder, immediately startling me. "hey uh, could i buy you a drink?" a man drunkenly asked me.

"Oh no thank you, I have a boyfriend" I said with a sweet smile on my face so as to not escalate a situation that didn't need to be escalated.the sound of my voice immediately made Matt shoot his head up from his phone, becoming aware of the predicament I was in.

as I tried to walk over to my boyfriend in question the man's grip only tightened. "who that guy?"the man asked sarcastically. "I could treat you better in 5 minutes than that scrawny guy could in a lifetime, he wouldn't even know what to do with you" the gross man continued.now that I knew what he meant by buying me a drink I was much more uncomfortable than before.

but nonetheless, still wanting to keep my cool I respond with a simple "I have a boyfriend, dip shit, leave me alone"while trying to get out of the man's grasp.

"didn't you hear her the first time,let go of her" matt stepped in and said.although matt wasn't one for getting confrontational or angry even, when he did it was fucking scary.

"what you gonna do huh?"the stranger teased, "You're like 5 '8 and 100 pounds, get outta here and leave her to a real man" he continued.he had now let go of me but was getting dangerously close to matt.

"ill slit your fucking throat if you so much as take another step closer to either of us"matt responded,voice now lower and more serious.i would like to say he was just saying that to scare the guy off but i couldn't sense one bit of bluff in his tone.

"ugh whatever"the guy said before turning around and walking back into the sea of people dancing and drinking.matt then grabbed me by the waist to bring me closer to him

"Let's go home"was all he said before practically dragging me out of the party,not that I needed much help with wanting to go home anyways.

𝘗𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯ִִ*ੈ༘⋆

Proofread: mostly Wc:6.3k WARNINGS:Cheating,swearing,smut,piv,oral(m!receiving),getting caught in the act,reader is insecure,SH,use of drugs multiple times,Chris being an asshole kinda(guy logic), just sadness, no happy ending;(

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my hands shook as i read the text.it had been sent 30 minutes ago but for some reason every time I re-read it it felt like the first."chris cheated on you"was all it said.it was from his own brother,matthew, so i knew this wasn't some type of sick joke.matt actually always had my back.when guys would make fun of me or people would stare he would try and jump in to tell them to stop.we were never friends, far from that.he was just a nice guy.

tears welled up in my salted eye as I began to type out my response to this shocking information. "What?" was all my fingers could pry themselves to type out.such a simple question with an answer that will unravel the past 5 years of my life of my life.matt began typing again almost as soon as I hit send, this time taking a much longer time.my heart sunk even deeper, if that was even possible at this point, and my stomach twisted into knots that no medicine could undo.

After about 2 minutes his message bubble showed up.i felt nothing short of sick to my stomach as i read it.he had gone to a party and cheated on me with some random slut, and was bragging about it?my head felt as if it would fall off my body at any second.i couldn't believe what i was reading, i didn't want to believe it.

the detailed story made my entire body fill with so many emotions.i began to hyperventilate.breathes quickening by the second.i didn't know what to do.a story with so much detail had no choice but to be true.i didn't want to be in my own skin anymore.i shoved the sleeve of my hoodie up and began to scratch at the skin on my arm harshly.the stinging sensation sending strange tingles to my head.old scars on my wrists sensitive, tender, so breakable.

I soon felt the need to break away.i ripped the hoodie off my body in a weird flailing mess.gripping at chunks of my hair and ripping my headphones out of my now red ears.broken sobs lefty my mouth as I attempted to catch my breath.tears pouring out of me like a fountain.how could he do this to me.after everything he told me?and everything we've been through?

anger began to fill my blood.i started to shake my hands violently.needing to get rid of this tent up anger and sadness smoothie somehow.before i knew it my hand was in my wall.blood trickling down my fist once I removed it from the fresh hole.i then realized what I had to do.My feet hurriedly carried me to the front door.I grabbed my keys somewhere along my journey to the car.puting the key in the ignition and starting my car up.the drive there was a blur.i don't even think I should be driving like this.but who cares? I sure didn't

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Blood rushed to my face as i took another shot.i began to feel dizzy as this was my fourth one of the night and tilting my head back wasn’t the best for the state i was in.i let the alcohol burn through my throat like fire as i swallowed. I looked down at my phone unsteadily. I couldn’t help but notice a few missed calls from my girlfriend. I thought nothing of it. Y/n is always clingy anyways.

I mean seriously I go out for one night and she's up my ass. I put my phone on dnd so she cant bother me any longer.This was my night.i was going to have fun whatever way i want, without her.that sounds right.perfect actually.

I shot my head up from my phone as one of my good friends came up to me with a call of my name.it was Jack “hey man” i slurred out as i weakly dabbed up the blonde.he was sweaty and out of breath.I internally cringed as his clammy palm grabbed mine.trying my best to wipe my hand without him noticing.

“Yo, I got two men upstairs waiting if you tryna join?” He asked.i knew what he meant by two man.it definitely didn’t mean double date.i contemplated what I should do, not being able to stop harping back to the missed calls from my girlfriend.i knew it was wrong.i was drunk but not dumb.she loved me, i loved her at one point.this was fucked.everything about what i had been doing behind her back these past few months has been fucked.

I soon found my mouth moving faster than my brain. “Which one is mine?”

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

It felt like I had just teleported here as I stared at chris' front door.I knocked on it with my good hand.A few seconds later I was met with a confused looking matt. "woah what happened to you?" he asked shocked

I ignored his question entirely.he’s a big boy and thinks he can piece together what happened to me. "your parents home?"I asked.knowing that what I was about to do wasnt something his parents should hear.

"uh no they're.out why are you here?"Matt asked confused and weirded out.i never truly noticed how handsome he was.it might just be my blurry vision though.

"Is Chris home or is he with that slut Stacy?"I snipped at the taller boy.

"nah he actually went out for a few hours, to another party or something." I felt defeated as the words left his mouth. my body didn't even have the strength to support the anger running through my veins as I could only imagine what he was doing at this party.

I needed to get high.That was all I knew how to do In times like this.times when the only things that consumed my thoughts were ones that made me feel as if I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. "You got weed?" I sputtered out as I fought back tears.

Matt was clearly taken aback at my suddenness but nonetheless answered "yea.. come in" he moved aside to let me in. I mumbled a small thanks as I walked past him into the house.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I followed Jack upstairs as he began to describe the girl I would get.she was apparently blonde, short and had a fat ass, perfect. You could see how excited I was by simply looking down at my pants. Hopefully this girl will reciprocate.

Through all my excitement it wasn't hard to find guilt.it lingered in the back of my mind while doing these kinds of things. y/n was probably home, watching some stupid rom-com cuddled up in a blanket all cozy, sad and worried I'm not answering but doing her best to ignore it.that's just how she was.an over thinking anxiety mess that liked to hide it to make herself feel better.i would be lying if i said i didn't find that cute.

As Jack opened the door I was met with two girls waiting for us on the bed.i could spot the blonde immediately seeing as the other had dark coily hair, definitely jack's type. I eagerly made my way over to my girl who I hadn't even learned the name of. She was even more gorgeous then I had imagined.her hair was pin straight and her lips were plump, red.she had blue eyes and the hottest body.

I connected our lips before any words could be spoken.our lips moved perfectly as i undressed her.i paid no mind to what Jack and his girl were doing. All I care about is her. All I want is her. Her soft lips made my fingers tingle as I touched her bare skin.feeling like my fingers were on fire as they roughly brushed over every part of her.

She then flipped us over so she was on top of me. As I felt her clothed wetness with my fingers I couldn’t help but remember my girlfriend.she was probably at home right now, wondering where I am and what I’m doing and why I’m not answering, slowly getting more upset by the second.I brushed off the thought as the blonde on top of me took off her panties and began to position herself on top of my face.I was in perfect view of her pussy.everything a guy could dream of. Shaved, pink, tiny, perfect.

Something still felt so wrong.I had cheated on y/n plenty of times, why does now feel different? Before my thoughts could continue I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket.I know this is wrong.I need to leave.then without saying anything I got her off of me and left the room.Jack didn’t seem to say anything but she was throwing confused obscenities at me as I walked out.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

My giggles were uncontainable as me and Matt cracked jokes across from each other on our comfortable spot on the floor. The music in the background paired with the purple led lights added an ambience to the room that couldn't be replicated. as the laughs died down the reality of my entire relationship set into my heart. I had been lied to by the one person who saw me for me.the one person to ever treat me right, buy me flowers, take me shopping, buy me food, listen to me talk about random stuff, stay on the phone with me almost every night until I fell asleep, was gone. I don't want this change. it wasn't one I could handle in my heart that had already grown as heavy as tons.

without thinking as soon as the tears began to spring out of my eyes I hugged matt.it was a little awake since we were on the floor after but it didn't matter.we sat there for some time.just holding each other as I cried into his chest.he was just so comfortable to be around, I couldn’t help but melt into him.before I could catch my own body I found my lips on his.I don’t know how it happened but it did.it felt right yet wrong.perfect yet oh so messed up.

We kisses sloppily as we were still high as shit.I slowly climbed on top of Matt which made me break the kiss for a moment.I took the second to stare deep into his hooded eyes.every detail of his face sinking into my eyes.a cheeky smile was plastered on his face and it was in this moment that i realized, he was the one.

I hurriedly kissed him again and began to remove my top as he did the same for himself.toned body all in view.my world felt like it was spinning as I tired to unclasp my bra while giggling.our tongues messily fought through laughs and desire.I felt so light yet so grounded at the same time.as if our bodies were morphing together.

We wasted no time taking all of our clothes off, both of us now completely naked on top of each other on his bedroom floor.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I barely shuffled past the crowd of drunken young adults as I made my way to the door and eventually my car.my eyes darken with anger at myself, hurting the only girl I've ever loved? who the fuck am I?I feel guilt wash over me as I realize how many time I had already done this. The number was truly lost on me as this normally happened when I was blackout drunk but it had to be around 10 now.

I put the keys in the ignition and started the car.my fists feel like they might explode if I didn't hit something now.i restrain myself hesitantly.scared that if I hit something I won't be able to stop. I quickly started driving.i shouldn't be driving in this condition. I'm drunk, tired, guilty and blinded with self directed rage.i couldn't stop my mind from wandering to her. no matter how much I tired to stop, how much I wanted to stop, I couldn't.everything led back to her.every color reminded me of a shirt she had.every song she had sang.every friend was one of hers.she owned every aspect of my mind.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

y/n was far from gorgeous in her own eyes.yes her friends often said she was beautiful and stunning but she never saw it. and even when she did think she looked cute even no man ever did, at least not one that wasn't family.no matter how much makeup she caked onto her face in the mornings, or how many skincare products burned through her childlike skin, she never had received a compliment from another guy.

because of this she never left the house without a full face of makeup on.if anyone dared to rush her through her 12 step makeup routine she would scream and cry till they left her alone.she couldn't be seen without it.she was also always putting herself in clothes that were meant to make her body "look good". Although it only worked occasionally she continued to wear them.short crop tops with her boobs hanging out the top and the tightest leggings known to man.Some would say she was a slut, others could tell she was just hurting.She wanted to be wanted.

this was her life style until she hit junior year of high school.she had gotten so tired of trying to be the most gorgeous girl by mens standards that she simply stopped.she threw away all her makeup and burned her slutty outfits to the ground.replacing them with large baggy jeans, hoodies and random tee shirt.she would barely style her hair anymore and only at special times wore mascara.she was the polar opposite of who she used to be.she didn't even know the girl she was before.

along with this major change in looks came a major change in mind.she now envied her friends even more.seeing them have guys hit on them and ask them out constantly made her livid.sometimes when she would go out with some her friends people would stop and stare.as if she was some sort of museum exhibit "complete ugly loser hanging out with pretty girls" and she was on display like a taxidermied shark.nobody really wondering who she is or what she does to look the way she does, just how the hell did she get here.

this jealousy soon turned into self isolation.she kept herself away from her friends.she was silent whenever she had to be around them in class.no longer being interested in drama or who asked out who that week.music playing in her ears with or without headphones.she no longer participated in conversations.only sitting there and half listening.she had become a shell of the girl she once was.and for some reason she enjoyed it.noboyd noticed her.she could dig a blade as deep into her skin as she wanted to and nobody would give a fuck.her tainted blood could drip down and stain the shirt she wore to school the next day and nobody would say anything.they wouldnt notice

Her friends didn't notice her silence.only thinking it was some strange phase she was going through because well, they were teenagers, things like this would happen.over time the loneliness became too much for her causing her to attempt to migrate back to her previous friend group.fortunately they accepted her back with open arms.

then, one fateful day in a boring science class.the teacher announced that they were switching their seats to lab tables now that they were halfway through the year girls who had sat together all year were understandably sad but nobody’s emotions compared to y/n's.she hadn't felt this nervous in a long time.and it felt disgusting.

her leg bounced up and down seeing as there were only 2 more lab tables left and her name, along with 7 others, hadn't been called. all her friends were already separated so she really had no chance. "ok lab table 5 is gonna be... anita, chris, y/n and Issac." the teacher announced.

her stomach dropped at the names.not one but two boys at her table.this was a nightmare for her .whenever she sat with boys in the past they were sure to make fun of her till she wanted to crawl into whatever shirt she was wearing and never come out.she grabbed her stuff and situated herself in the small chair. Chris across from her, Antia next to him and Issac next to y/n. she kept her head down, not wanting to even look any of these people in the eye.

"Alright so I know you guys have been sitting with completely different people the whole year so take the rest of the period to talk with the people you're with and get to know them." Ms.Kratsteen stated. Anita and Issac sparked up a conversation immediately. They most likely were friends before this.

Chris looked around awkwardly before breaking the silence between the two. "So y/n, you're pretty different from last year." he said, causing y/n to look up slowly. the look on her face almost saying 'wtf'. "not like in a bad way, you still look pretty cool." he backtracked.

"thanks?you look...well the same,"the flushed girl said.making herself let out a soft laugh.he laughed lightly along with her.

Once the laughter died down Chris spoke again"yeah, its harder to change your style as a guy then you would think" he chuckled at his own words.large hands moving to rub his chin momentarily.She couldn’t help but giggle at his words as well.not that it was all that funny but just simply because the way his thin pink lips maneuvered into a sly smile was one that made her all giddy.like butterflies were bubbling inside her stomach as she stared at him intently.this strange, unfamiliar feeling, felt nice.for the first time in a while,she felt nice.

“Hey, how about you come over to mine after school?you can give me some fashion tips” he said half jokingly, not fully expecting her to say yes.but to his surprise she agreed.it was hard to ignore how she blushed deeply, he could practically hear her heart beating out of her chest, or possibly that was his own beat he was listening to.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The mood of the room was calm.Chris and y/n took turns passing the pen to each other as they sat in the seemingly silent room.the soft sound of a random The Cure song played in their ears.the noise drifting in and over their heads while the room filled with smoke.

Y/n look over to her left on the bed at Chris, red hooded eyes drifting over to his relaxed body.no words came from her mouth although she wanted them to.her mouth was agape, words just at the brim of being uttered.but for reasons out of her control they stayed locked behind her teeth.refusing to spill over which only filled her head which curiosity as to what they could be.

Chris noticed her gaze after a moment.lowly lidded eyes locking with hers.his words came out fast.not stopping themselves at the brim like hers had. “I didn’t know you smoked…” he practically mumbled.

It took her a moment to gather what to say.she never really did, not often at least.due to this the amount of weed she was intaking at the moment made her all the more out of it then normal. “I…I don’t really…only when I’m sad…” she answered at the same volume of Chris’ voice.

The distance between them felt as if it was growing larger as she stared at him from the head of her bed.back lazily rested on a large pillow as he does the same on the other side of the bed.her hand practically moves in slow motion as she reaches to grab her soda from the nightstand.her body was slothily moving as she unscrewed the top and took a sip.letting the sugary drink sit in her mouth before swallowing.

It seemed as if in the blink of an eye Chris was closer to her.like he had teleported closer. “C’mere…” he said quietly under his breath.Yet somehow the words flowed right into her ears making them ring.

She set down her drink again and crawled over to him on the bed slowly.plopping her body down next to his after not very long seeing as they were very far apart anymore.without saying anything Chris took another hit of the pen.confusion etched on her face as she watched him.

Before she could form a coherent thought two of his slender fingers were on her chin.hypnotically pulling her closer making her lips part mindlessly.their open lips collided messily.hot smoke blowing into her mouth making her throat burn.she blew the smoke back out after holding it in her mouth again.

She stared at him somehow blankly.blinking as she tried to process what had happened, yet also slowly forgetting it completely. He stared back at her.not an ounce of nervousness available to him as he gazed into her sinking eyes.

“Again…” she uttered weakly.not exactly knowing where the words or let alone the thought came from to begin with.he chuckled lowly before doing as she said.pulling her close and placing his lips on hers again.their tongues slowly fought for dominance, messy spit pooling together as their eyes closed, all the while deepening the needy kiss.

They were friends, nothing more.honestly it had never been a realistic thought to be anything more.but right now she felt like she had been with him for years.like she had seen every part of him.as if she knew every story he had to tell. She felt like she loved him.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Chris and y/n laid in bed somberly.they weren't necessarily going to sleep but it was definitely calm.y/n was slightly tapped into a random movie on his tv while he sat on his side scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

It was a nice summer night.the room they were in was extremely stuffy causing y/n to not wear a hoodie like she normally does at night.leaving her scars out In the open.she didn't mind that chris could see her scars as she knew he wouldn't mention them.sometimes she questioned if he even noticed them.she had never caught him stealing glances at them or looking at them with fascination like she had with others.and I mean yea chris could be a bit of a space cadet at times but he wasn't completely braindead.

yet the question lingered in her mind.was that the only reason he had stayed with her so long. cause he didn't think she had gone that far?if he found out, would he be disgusted? as these thoughts raced through her mind a mile a minute she found herself simultaneously pulling the blanket over her wrists.

chris, unlike she had thought, noticed this.he noticed everything about her.he noticed how her face wrinkles like a cat everytime she about to sneeze.and how she ties her shoes into butterfly's cause it's cuter.or how she knows where everyone one of her stuffed animals came from.and unfortunately for y/n, he noticed this small action.it was one so small, so miniscule, that anyone else could have and would have  missed it.but not him.not when it came down to her.

he knew what she was covering.it hurt him to know why she was pulling the blanket over herself and why her face suddenly seemed to have changed ever so slightly.he sat up lazily to be at her level. "baby..." he mumbled.the words felt strange as they ringed in her ears.it was the first time he had ever called her any type of pet name as he stated many times he hated names like that.

she turned her head to him attentively. "what's up?" she tired to act nonchalant even though she was internally fucking dying at the name he had called her in his low, stuffy, tired voice.her eyes scanned over his face for the millionth time.never being able to get fully used to the beauty he held.he could say the same about her with ease, yet he never would, not unprovoked at least.

The next words weren’t what she had expected.she thought he would want to change the movie or that he wants to go to sleep. He sputtered for a moment, trying to find the right words before speaking up. “They don’t bother me, you're beautiful to me no matter what” was all he said.no more, no less, it was perfect.just like every other word he had ever had the privilege of saying to her.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

her resting was peaceful as she lay in her boyfriends arms.it was the morning of her birthday but it was still fairly early for her,8:00 to be exact.soft breaths came in and out of her nose sequentially as her resting eyelids stayed shut.the tranquility she felt was unmatched as she slept.

chris on the other had wasn't as much of a peaceful sleeper.he was practically snoring in her ear as his head rested messily in the crook of her neck that had stayed open through the night, unmoving, subconsciously scared to wake chris up.his legs were sprawled out as the only thing in order were his arms around her.despite the disheveled state he was in he was calm, something which was rare for him.

this moment. one so delicate that it should be treated as porcelain, was dropped from a 1,000 foot tall building as his brothers came barging into the room with a large camera and smiling faces. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' they shouted in unison, causing y/n to shoot up from her sleep startled, leaving a confused and sleepy chris to roll over onto his back, rubbing his eye as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

once her eyes adjusted to the sight in front of her she grumble a quick "what..." as she had totally forgotten it was he birthday.she didn't even bother to fix her messed up hair or the chaoticness of her outfit as she was right on camera.a small part of her knew this would be on YouTube later that night but was far too tired to do anything about it.

"Happy birthday!" Nick shouted again from behind the camera.now reminding y/n what day it was.she yawned before looking over to chris next to her.he was sleepily grinning ear to ear as he was happy his brothers were celebrating her as well.

Before she could think Nick was grabbing her by the hand and pulling her into the kitchen, passing the camera to Matt somewhere along the way as he led her up the stairs to the island in the middle of the kitchen.chris was groggily following behind.

her eyes lit up as she saw the cake they had bought for her.it was custom made to have pictures of her and her friends on the top and all sorts of things that she liked on the sides such as her favorite artists, books and movie.the cake was y/f/c and large and heart shaped.it was perfectly adorned with a white frosting edge and must've cost at least $200.

she picked her head up, tears in her eyes as she looked at her three favorite people surrounding her. Matt smiled cheekily from behind the camera before speaking up. "Do you like it?" he asked even though the answer was obvious.

"i...I love it..." she practically whispered before noticing chris walking off back to his room.she didn't question it as maybe he wanted to fix his hair or put on a shirt on for the camera.while they waited for chris to come back she hugged the two brothers who watched her gleaming face with pride.before she could notice nick pulled a bag from behind the island

He held the pink bag out to her. "here" he said with a grin on his face.she took the bag and set it on the table and took out the tissue paper.her smile lit up even more if it was even possible as she picked up the gift.it was a small collage book.she only grew happier as she flipped through the pages.they were filled with nothing but amazing memories from her entire life.it was impossible to not cringe and laugh as she found middle school photos. showing them to the camera as they all laughed.

It was strange how Chris hadn't come back yet but she assumed he was doing something important down there.matt set the camera down on its stand as he grabbed his gift from his side.setting the black and white bag on the table in front of her. she smiled at him before opening the bag and pulling out the penguin stuffed animal he had gotten her.it was tiny and super soft an the perfect thing for her desk.she took a look at the tag and saw that the plushie had a name tag.slipping over the name tag she saw the penguin had the same name as her.

she looked up with a warm smile. "thanks matt" she hugged him sweetly before nothing chris coming up the stairs again.his arms were held behind his back as he walked up to her.once he stood in front of her he pulled out a sleek black and gold box from behind him.her eyes trailed over the box anxiously as she could tell from just the box that whatever it was was expensive.

She shakily took the box from his hand and opened it to find a silver ring.it was simple and had small diamonds on the sides of it.she put her hand over her mouth in disbelief as she looked at the ring. "I'm not proposing or nothin’...just a promise ring" chris said as he watched her stare at the ring in awe.without saying anything she set it down and hugged him passionately.

"Thank you baby..." she whispered into his neck.although he hated corny pet names he didn't protest.only hugging her back with a smile on his face.simply happy he could make her this happy.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

His dick sprung lit of his pants as i pulled down his boxers.everything moving so lustfully slow yet hungrily fast at once.the world was spinning around us and I was so here for it.i wasted no time working my mouths way down to his cock.i didn’t hesitate to deep throat him.his length not fully registering in my head until they had connected.gagging almost immediately. He was bigger than Chris that was for sure.

I bobbed my head up and down quicker each time I came up.air was secondary to his pleasure.his hands somehow found their way to my head and began to touch me down further on his cock. Beautiful moans and whines escaped his pink lips. I looked up at him through my lashes to the best of my abilities and he looked gorgeous.hooded eyes looking as desperate as ever.i loved it.i wanted to soak up all of his being.

His beauty made me work faster.i felt my pussy ache for some sort of attention but I couldn’t bother.i was so locked on his face that my own pleasure was trivial.without warning Matt let out an estranged moan as he came down my throat.not even giving me an option to spit.

Before I could think for myself Matt sat up and grabbed me, bringing us to his bed in order to be more comfortable. Without words he liked his cock up with my soft entrance and pushed into me.a loud moan eliciting from my throat as he did so.he large man began to move fast and hard.having no mercy against me and my sensitive body.

My moans were utterly uncontrollable.only getting louder by the second.thank God nobody else was home. “You love this cock.don’t you slut?” He spat. The temporary pleasure was overwhelming to say the least.I felt so euphoric yet so dazed at once. my body couldn't seem to choose whether to moan out my pleasure or let it all rush to my brain which was already beginning to become fuzzy. "answer me." he sternly commanded.

I felt my body get hotter by the second as I tried answering him. "yes..I love it..so much.."I sputtered out. my eyes rolled back as he continued to drill into me relentlessly.my eyes that refused to open fully rolled into the back of my head as he kept the same fast rough pace, tattooed arms holding my hips in place in a way so brutal that I feared he would crush them.

Chris ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

time felt as if it had skipped as I was suddenly home in the blink of an eye.lost in my thoughts of her, only her.i huffed as I opened the front door.stumbling into my house cause the alcohol was very much still in my system.my struggling emotions were sobering me up somewhat but that didn't help my sluggish movement.

once I had hobbled over to the island that lay in the center of the kitchen I put my head in my hands.leaning over the counter with pure exhaustion.i let out a deep sigh.i had fucked up, bad.i cheated on the only girl i've ever truly loved, the only girl to ever truly love me back.what the hell was i thinking?

Slowly i pick my body up.walking over to the fridge to grab some sort of drink.for the first time in my life i wouldn't mind drinking water if it meant getting the foul taste of the blonde from earlier out of my mouth.luckily for me there was some lemonade left which i quickly grabbed a can on and sung my head back to drink.desperate for some sort of way to wash this feeling off myself.

I set the metal can down on the counter with a clink. letting out a breath i hadn't known i was holding in.my gray hoodie which was lined with fur on the inside suddenly felt suffocating.like as if i couldn't breathe with it on.but i didn't remove it as it was the closest thing to comfort i had right now.my eye rake over to the front door where i see matts keyes sitting on the holder.

Without a second thought I turned my body and head to Matt's room.not fully noticing the loud music.he would know what to do, how to handle this.even if he didn't i really just needed my older brother right now.

My hands were steady as they gripped the doorknob.opening his creaky white door slowly due to me still being absolutely wasted.i kept my head down.afraid to look him in the eye while i explained what i had done out of shame.

Reader ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my body felt like it was going to go into overdrive as he kept his riotous pace the whole time, not slowing down to give me a moment to breathe once. "hey matt I really fucked up and-" chris started as he opened the door, looking for comfort from his brother for something.matt who was still high as ever didn't even notice this

I hear the creak of the door and immediately attempt to freeze. “Shit…Matt stop— oh fuck…mph.” I babble in attempt to get him to stop.i weakly prop myself up on my elbows to see who it was.through the bliss of getting fucked dumb I could see it was Chris standing in the doorway.despite what I was aware him doing I felt awful he had to see this.I continue to try and pry matt out of me. “Matt stop…Chris’ here.” I slur as the weight of the situation slowly sobers me up.

I watch as Matt pulls out of me hesitantly and turns to look at Chris. I'm the doorway.I knew it was the weed making him act so nonchalant.if we were sober he would’ve jumped out of his skin at the slightest sound of the door creaking. “Oh shittt” he muttered as he lay next to me, propped up on his elbows.I hadn't even noticed he crashed down next to me

“What the fuck…”Chris uttered under his alcohol infused breath.the gleam of the purple lights mixed with the effects of the weed were making it hard me to make out the details of what exactly was in-front of me but I swear I could see his eyes well with tears.

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘉𝘺 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘷𝘴𝘹™

★𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

word count:305

proofread:yupp

A/N:this is my first like writing thing so sorry if its bad :p

WARNINGS:mentions of reader being insecure about her body

𖦹 𖦹

y/n had always been jealous.even just the thought of her boyfriend talking to other girls made her fists clench and her head run wild with theories and worries.it wasn't her fault.sure she didn't mind when mutual friends that happened to be girls would hang out with him but when he went on world tours and did meet and greets she couldn't help but wish the girl he had met was her

she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met.she couldn't even compare to any ex or crush he's ever had.and even if she could,who was with him?

features that she thought were just there or dare he even say ugly look perfect to him.even when she felt as if her skin didn't fit right on her bones,or that her stomach wasn't flat enough,or that her body wasn't good enough for him, he let her know that he loved her body just the way it was.

so on the late nights where she was scrolling through tik tok,looking at videos of people thirsting over him.she would look up from her phone only to see him staring right back at her.admiring all the things he had seen a million times before but somehow never got sick of.this was why she never let her overthinking get to her.

none of the fangirls.old and young.could have what she had.he was hers,and that was his dream come true.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

welcome to my blog! here are the links to whatever you might be looking for

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{¬ºཀ°}¬

⭑ 𝐁𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Proofread: sorta....

Word count: 2.5k

WARNINGS: small mention of blood, swearing, just cute fluff besides that!

A/N: ik i said this would be posted a while ago but I've been super busy w school and everything and have just had no time to write but here it is!this is acc something i've had in mind but have been able to actually write so it was nice to finally finish it. ok happy reading guys!

"I'm hungry," Nick complained from the other side of the couch. Matt, who was too focused on his phone to even acknowledge anything else around us, simply blew Nick off. only telling him to grab something from the kitchen.me and Chris on the other hand weren't very tapped into the movie all four of us were supposed to be watching. It was a little boring, yes but what else was there to do? Summer break is normally fun but there are always a few weeks where you feel like you've done everything you can for this 10 week break.

" there's nothing good in there, can we go to the gas station or something?'' Nick asked as he hung his head off the edge of the couch we all shared. With the small back and forth happening right next time I was now paying less attention to the movie.

Matt, who was still looking at his phone aimlessly, answered Nick's complaint and question combination with "my car is still in the shop so unless you feel like walking 2 miles then go find something in the kitchen." annoyed. not really sure what he was annoyed about since he hasn't even done anything all day besides sit on the couch and sit around the house with us.

"we could just take the bikes.'' Chris said from behind me. Nick silently made his way toward the kitchen while we tried to figure out a plan. Looking around the cabinets and the fridge for something to his liking.

“You know I can’t ride a bike asshole” I sassed as I turned my head a little bit in order to see him.

“No I fucking didn’t, what are you talking about?” He retorted.

“Like everyone knows that?” I replied.laughing at the brunette’s confusion.Matt shut off the movie and put something on cable since at this point nobody was even paying attention to it.

"I'm just hungry and bored so can we please find some way to get to the gas station for the love of God."Nick said, walking toward us from the kitchen dramatically plopping down back next to Matt on the couch.

The four of us sat there and attempted to think of a solution. "I'll just teach you how to ride,"Chris suggested as he got up from the couch, pulling up his gray sweats slightly.the 3 of us looked at Chris so he realized what he just said "how to ride a bike guys, Jesus..." he clarified as he shook his head with a small smile at our immaturity.

The rest of us got off the couch and began to walk toward the front door to leave. As Matt opened the door my eyes were met with a beautiful pink sunset. The winding down of the summer day made the weather very mellow. Warmth and a soft wind hit my bare legs and arms. watercolor sky painting the scenery.

I followed the boys toward their bikes and grabbed the extra one which was Justin's old bike. blue and silver spikes stars were spread over the bike. not exactly something I would ride if I had the choice but i'm not in position to complain.

as I hopped on it I noticed Matt and Nick beginning to ride away "teach her and we can bring you guys stuff" Matt yelled from almost 13 feet away. I turned to Chris who was unlocking his bike for the chain

"Okay!" he yelled to Matt before turning to me."Alright, you know how to get on it so that's good."he joked before getting on his own bike. "ok try to move the bike" he said, turning to me.

"ok..."I mumbled as I placed my feet on the pedals. I lost balance once both my feet left their place on the ground causing me to frantically put my left foot back on the gravel. I turned to the boy in front of me. his pale skin glowing in the dwindling sunlight. He made a concerned face before getting off his bike in order to help me.

"let me try holding the bike as you put your feet on the pedals."he explained. Chris then came around to the back of me and placed his left hand on my waist and the right on one of the handles.my heart began to beat faster. I felt supported by Chris' hold so I put my foot back on the pedal. "So now move the pedals as if you were gonna ride for real." I did as he said and began to pretend to ride the bike.

"Now when I let go, keep pedaling forward."nerves shot through me as I looked out to the long empty street in front of me. the fear of falling over took over

"Chris im gonna fucking fall"I expressed

"I won't let go of you, just the bike. if you fall I'll catch you, promise."He reassured me. His words encouraged me to try so as soon as he let go I kept pedaling. The bike moved quickly under my feet but I wasn't scared because of the support Chris had on my hip.

Once I was about half way down the road nerves set back in and I began to feel like I might fall again. I wasn't steering the bike correctly and was sort of swerving. "Chris, Chris I'm gonna fall!"I yelled. I tried to straighten the bike but it wasn't working.

"No you're not kid, I'm literally holding you,"Chris said, out of breath from running to keep pace with me. The end of the road was nearing so I knew I would have to turn around soon.

"How do I turn?!"I frantically yelled. as the rounded curb got closer and closer.the wheels of the old bike wouldn't slow down as they glided against the pavement.

"What?" Chris yelled from behind me.I hadn't even realized he let go and that I was doing this on my own.

"How do I turn!?"I yelled even louder hoping he would hear and then teleport next to me and turn the bike for me.

"floor it!" he shouted as I was about to hit the curb. I then jerked the handles of the bike and turned sharply. my legs moving faster in order to keep momentum. "Hell yea!!" he exclaimed from the opposite side of the street. His excitement made me smile.

our happiness didn't last much longer though because I didn't realize there was a huge pot hole right in front of me. The front wheel got caught in the crater and sent me flying forward.

"oh shit!'' Chris yelped as he jogged over to me. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins still so I didn't feel much pain coming from my scraped up elbow or my cut knee. "you okay? No broken bones or concussions?"

I giggled at his concern and wiped up some blood that had been dripping down my leg. "dude you fucking did it, you learned how to ride a bike!"he said happily. a huge smile painted on his sun dusted face. eyes fixated on mine which were inspecting the sting from my cut began to set in causing me to let out a wince.

"Ok can we get inside now."I mumbled out of breath. my soft voice broke him out of his trance as he darted his eyes away from mine.

"oh yeah sorry." he said as he stood up and dusted off his knees that had tiny rocks scattered on them. I put my hand out for him to help me up and he did so. helping me limp back to the house.

Once we got inside he told me to wait in the kitchen while he grabbed our bikes that he realized he had left outside. While he was outside I hobbled my way over to the freezer and grabbed some ice, put it in a plastic baggie with a paper towel around it and placed it on my elbow.

When Chris came back into the kitchen he began looking for the first aid kit. "Sorry I took so long, your bike was like lodged in the hole." he explained, laughing a little. I huffed out a small laugh as well. "Okay here we go!"he said as he closed the cabinet, turning around with a red and white box in his hands.

He placed the box on the counter and began to examine what was inside of it, pulling out bandaids, gauze, rubbing alcohol and cotton balls.Chris struggled to keep the things in his arms as he walked over to me. The items catering once placed on the counter. 

"hop up."he instructed. I did as he said, hopping onto the counter and shuffling around so I was comfortable and didn't feel like I was gonna fall off. I turned my head to watch him mess around with the medical stuff. putting everything into place. "this is gonna sting a lot" he said as he stood in front of me. cotton ball that had been soaked in disinfectant In his hand. i bit my lip as the alcohol made contact with my open wound. a stinging sensation being sent through my knee.

The slight pain went away as he stopped cleaning the cut. opening a brown bandaid and placing it on the cut carefully. "See, all better!"he joked, making me smile at his small gesture. our eyes caught each other as he looked up. both of us admiring the other's features.

for the first time in I think forever there was a silence between us. once that had to be broken but not by words. I hopped down from my spot on the counter unexpectedly .My action made Chris back up a little.

Without saying anything I hugged the brunette in front of me.wrapping my arms around his neck as he did the same with my waist. I buried my head in his neck and smiled to myself.

Chris pulled away from the hug before I could. I was confused at why he would do this wrong as he normally is a very big hugger with me. my confusion soon turned to shock as the flushed boy in front of me cupped my cheeks and pressed his lips onto my one passionately.

My eyelids slowly sunk down as my body melted into the long awaited kiss. i have had a crush on him for God knows how long but never came even close to knowing he felt the same way, let alone making a move.the front door opened almost as soon as we pulled away from each other. making us white our heads toward the door almost immediately. 

"hey guys-'' Nick began as he and his brother trotted into the kitchen, bags of snacks in hand. "the fuck happened to you?" he asked me as he set the snack down on the kitchen table.

my heart was still beating faster than I could think but I had to make everything seem normal. i mean my best friend can't know I just kissed my other best friend who also happened to be his brother. "This kid tried to teach me how to ride a bike, '' I said with a small, awkward giggle.

"alright i'm going back to the couch." Matt said groggily as he walked back to the place where he had been for most of the day.

"yea same" Chris followed short behind Matt with his snacks in hand.i didn't take my eyes off him he sat back down on the couch.

"You sure he only touched your how to ride a bike?"Nick asked me from across the counter.leaned over,interested in the truth behind what had happened while they were out.

I took a sip of my red bull before choking on the drink at the question I had been asked. "Yes Nick, I've told you before, I'm not interested in either of your brothers like that."I reassured the brunette.i hated lying to him like that but I didn't really want to tell him just yet.especially If nothing ever came about with Chris.after all me and him are still just friends.

"Okay I'm just saying, you're awfully flushed." Nick said.

"There's nothing there, girl , trust me. I think they're watching La La Land in there," I said as I let go of the topic, making my way back to the living room.upon entering I saw both brothers on each side of the couch so I naturally migrated toward Chris. the boy who had made himself comfortable on the couch moved his legs in order for me to sit there.

Once the four of us were all curled up on the couch together it was almost impossible to ignore the fact that Chris' hand was placed on my waist.I leaned on him a little but not fully so as to not make it obvious that I had lied earlier.

I have had a crush on this boy basically since we met and now he's finally showing that he feels the same way, just without words which I honestly prefer.anyone can say anything but it takes a certain kind for passion driven by truth to actually act on your words.spoken or not.i don't know what we are but I feel like it's spelled out pretty clearly that it's more than what we've been letting on

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙪𝙫𝙨𝙭༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

haii, My name is Sarah and I've been writing on Tumblr for almost a year now I think(not consistently of course).I started out writing and reading on wattpad but now i'm here! I really like all kinds of music tbh but my favorite artists are probably Lana Del Rey, Tyler the creator, Pierce the veil, Playboi Carti, Mitski and The smiths. I love editing and reading (books recs are always appreciated!). i'm a big talker which is why im doing this in this format lol. I like to dress emo/alternative/scene I suppose.i also really love anime. some of my faves are probably jjk, Saki K, Csm and Deathnote; btw I have an anime fic blog here if that’s something that interests you!I also(obviously) Love the triplets. i've been watching them since 2022 and went to see them in NJ, October 9th I think. fun fact; where they're from in somerville is only like a 20-25 minute drive from where I live and some of their videos are shot in places I go to often, same with one of their intros.i don't buy a lot of merch cause i'm broke ash but I have a tour shirt, a fresh love shirt and the original space camp launch package thing. okay your probably annoyed with my talking so l'll stfu now, Happy reading!

★𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Proofread:kinda...not rlly

Wordcount:2266

WARNINGS:throw up/emetophobia , panic attack, crying, this takes place before they’re like famous or wtv.also this is very long.

A/N:ntm on the banner idk what happened😭

“Guess where I’m going tonight”I said to the boy I was on the phone with.my best friend Matt.he was playing video games while I got ready.probably not paying much attention to what I was doing but definitely listening.

“Where?” he questioned as his face twisted into one of frustration.most likely because of the game he was playing.

“I’m going to hailys party” I cheekily said.smiling just at the thought of what tonight would be like.

“Isn’t that like all seniors?” he asked, concern lacing his tone.even though we were both the same age he always acted like my older brother.

"uh yea, i'll be fine dont worry.im not gonna like get fucked by a 20 year old or end up passed out in the street.im a responsible person matt."i rambled on

"i know you are but- shit...seniors can be pretty intense sometimes" the boy on the other line explained

"ill be fine dude, ok anyways, what outfit do i wear?" i said while show-casing two outfits that lay on separate hangers.

"im kinda in the middle of something right now"

"i dont care, just look for a second"

"y/n i litterally cant"

"matthew bernard sturniolo turn your fucking head this direction and help me pick out an outift or i swear to God"

"ok ok jeez" he said as he hesitantly turned to face his phone screen. "i don't like either of them"

"oh fuck you" i said as i put my phone onto its back so i could change into one of the outfits.

✧At the party

a large smile was painted on my face as i swayed my hips to the beat of the music. I've never felt more alive.the freshly poured drink splishing and splashing around in the cup i was holding, small droplets finding a home on my wrist. despite this being me being only a junior i was mixing well with the crowd.not feeling awkward or like i didn't belong for a second

a tap on my shoulder stopped my movements abruptly.i turned around to where the feeling came from only to see the girl that i came here with, Serenity. she looked deepyly upset which wasnt usual for the cheerful girl. "hey sese, whats up?" i yelled over the loud music.im not even sure if she could hear me.

"i feel sick" serenity answered. i quickly grabbed her hand and bee-lined it to the bathroom.she had been drinking alot.way more then me.and i was sure that what she mean t by 'i feel sick' was 'im about to throw up' and i want that to be no where else but the toilet.for her dignity and my sanity.

i banged on the door of the first bathroom i came across. "occupied!" someone yelled from the other side, forcing me to practically drag serenity down the crowded hallway to another bathroom.once we made it to the white door i realized there was no point in knocking because i could hear two drunken people going at it as if it were their last night on earth.

panic began to set in at the same pace as reality.no more bathrooms in sight. shit shit shit i mentally cursed to myslef as i looked over at a half folded over serenity. "y/n i think im gonna throw up"the blonde girl stated

i quietly mumbled "no no your not, please don't, not here" but my pleads were to no eval as once the words left my mouth so did all of the drinks serenity had earlier.it was all over me.my shirt and jeans and even my white shoes. i screamed in panic. tears spilling out of my eyes almost automatically.

as my eyes darted all over the place i noticed the bathroom door where the couple once were fucking was now open.i put my hand on serenities back and shoveled her into the bathroom, careful not to touch any of the vomit on my shirt.she dropped to her knees and went head first into the toilet at the sight of it.the sounds making me gag internally.

i slid down the wall behind me and sobbed.not being able to escape the vomit.i pulled my phone out of my back pocket and opened my contacts.i was about to call my mom to pick me up before i looked at the time. '1:48' it read. she was most definitely asleep. the scrolled through my contacts looking for someone that could come pick me up.

'Matty boy' was the name my eyes locked on, not even waiting a second before calling him.the phone rang longer than i would've liked it to as i pressed it up to my ear. please pick up i mentally begged "hey y/n." a sleepy Matt said on the other line.

i wasted no time "Matt please-please come get me"i choked out through cries.

"what?whats going on?are you ok?"he asked.now sounding more alert and awake

"serenity threw up on me and i-i don't know what to do.please just come get me.please Matt"i begged through the phone.tears sprung out my eyes and rolled down my face, leaving marks of dripping mascara to stain my cheeks.

"ok ill be there in a few minutes.wheres serenity now?"Matt asked.i hadn't even noticed her.i looked down from the ceiling i was staring at and locked eyes with her body.

"she's passed out...o-on the bathroom floor"i slowly got out.

"ok y/n listen to me very carfully,i need you to call haily and tell her serenity is in the bathroom passed out and that you need a chnage of clothes okay?do not leave serenity there." the boy on the other line stated very seriously. i mumbled a small 'okay 'before Matt began talking again "ill be there in a few minutes, don't move from the bathroom."he said before hanging up.silence now filling my ears.

✧Some time later

serenity was now gone after being taken to hailys room so she could sober up.i have a change of clothes on, some large sweat pants and a 'the smiths' t-shirt. although my clothes were now in the washer being clean from throw up, i couldn't get the thought out of my head.

this night, my first real party, had gone to shit.i was tried, scared, my makeup was ruined, my back hurt.i just want to go home. then as if my thoughts were read a knock came at the door. "come in"i lightly shouted.

as soon as the door opened and matt was visible i sprung up from my spot on the floor.hugging the boy before either of us could say anything.sobbing into his shoulder. "its okay.its okay.im here."the brunnete boy said into my hair

he held my back as we walked through the sea of people in order to make it to the exit.drunken others staring at us we walked by.i grabbed my coat which had somehow not bee touched the whole night, a dark blue zip up hoodie.i felt goosebumps go up my arms a I put it on.

the cold air hit my face unexpectidely.the winter weather sending shock through my warm body.a smile krept onto my face for an unidentified reason. i brought my arms over my chest and folded them. "why are you smiling?"matt asked while looking over at me.a smile on his face aswell

"i dont know" i answred with a small giggle.once we finally made it to the car i hobbled myself into the front passenger seat.the car was practically silent as he put the key in the ignition and started it.not much being needed to be said.

Once we pulled out of the carefully chosen parking spot I advised Matt to not drive me home seeing as my mom would probably kill me.a small hum of approval being the only noise to come from him.

This silence was soon followed up with an unexpected “thank you”from Matt. “For calling me when you needed to and not being stubborn”he clarified

A vocal response didn’t seem to fit the situation so I simply nodded in acknowledgment. “My parents are actually out on vacation so there’s no harm in you staying the night by the way, went to Maine or something.” He began to speak.I didn’t respond.only looking out the window infront of me.

“So what was it like?your first senior party?”the driving boy asked as he focused on the road infront of us.the street lights and cars illuminating his pale face.

“Well besides being thrown up on and having a whole panic attack it was pretty good.the drinks were alright and a few guys hit on me but besides that it was just alright”I answered his question.

“Not everything you dreamed of?”matt asked teasingly. Shaking my head no in response “Bummer.well now you get to spend the night with me” he continued as we pulled into his driveway.i never realized how close he lived to Haily.

Once we entered the house I was met with Chris sitting at the kitchen table. “Woah what happened to you”Chris asked.looking up from his cereal and phone.

“A party” I weakly answered.

“Oh is that y/n?”Nick asked from the couch as he turned his head around to face me. “Hey baeee, had a rough night?”he greeted and questioned.

“Rough Night is the understatement of the century”I grumbled as I opened their fridge searching for water.

“You went to hailys party right?yea those seniors are crazy.are those your clothes?”Nick rambled on.

“No these are hailys,serenity threw up on me.”I casually answered,shuddering at the remembrance of what happened.I stretched my arm out to grab the advil in their top shelf.

“Oh gross.you sleeping here tonight?”chris chimed in and asked.

“Yea, no point in going home and getting my ass beat.”I exaggerated

“Where you sleepin?”chris asked again

“Not with you, last time you punched me right in the boob, painful as fuck.”I retorted as I swapped the pills and water.

“Dude it was an accident!i was sleeping!”he answered as he threw his hand sup in defense.making me giggle.

“Not taking any chances”

“Well you can’t sleep with me.”Nick stated suddenly

“Why?”

“My bed is fucking lopsided and I have to sleep on the couch till it’s fixed” Nick said

“Just sleep in Chris’ room”

“He fucking attacks me in his sleep!”

“What about Matt?”

“He’s up too late for me, I need my eight hours but I guess this kid only needs 8 minutes” Nick answered my few questions causing me to lightly laugh

“Ok then I guess I’m sleeping in your room Matty boy”I said, turning to the boy who had just been listening to this conversation silently.

“Ok then cmon,I’m going to bed right now”he tiredly said as he walked in the direction of his room.

“I find that hard to believe”Nick shouted from his place in the couch.

I hugged Chris and Nick before following Matt into his room.

Upon opening the door I saw Matt face down on the mattress. “Jeez I didn’t think you were that tired” I joked as I sat down on the bed next to him.the calming blue led lights coloring us and the rest of the room around us.

He turned his head sideways to face me “I’m always tired”he mumbled.I situated my body so I was now laying next to him more comfortably.we then gradually moved ourselves to face each other while laying on our sides.his eyes staring into mine deeply.

"your beautiful" I whispered under my breath. ive always though Matt was attractive.not in a sexual way but the same way I think Alahna is pretty.but tonight was different.the way the blue lights bounced off his face, and how his messy hair rested almost perfectly on his forehead, or maybe it was how his dark, tired, eyes never seemed to look scary or weird on him.nonetheless he looked a way I don't even think I could describe if you put the words out in-front of me.

"your angelic..." I found myself say as my heart was taking action before my brain.i brushed some hair out of his eyes delicately with my fresh painted nails.he didn't respond, only giving me small smile.i caressed the side of his face with the back of my hand.tracing his facial structure.

"I love you" he abruptly said.the three words causing blood to rush to my cheeks rapidly.my heart besting faster almost as if on command

"I'll always love you more"I solemnly said.not exactly wanting to see his reaction to my words i moved in a little closer and closed my eyes.curling up and grabbing the covers.to my surprise though, after a few minutes I could feel his arm sake over my body and pull me closer.my head resting under his chin lightly.

then we fell asleep peacefully.silently hoping that if we were to never to wake up again that we stay together in the next life

Came back just to show you guys IM FREAKING OUT

★𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Word count:1015

Proofread:yup

WARNINGS: insecure reader,kissing,kinda angst and fluff

A/N: this took embarrassingly long to finish😭

𖦹 𖦹

"Okay so the next question is 'who was your first kiss' and what's the story behind it" Nick shouted over Chris and Matt trying to explain why fairies are and aren't real to each other.Everyone in the car immediately had their own separate reaction to this question.

Nick was smiling ear to ear, most likely because of the embarrassment that came with answering the question.matts head was down with a cringed face.me and Chris both looked at each other knowingly before my cheeks flushed and he looked away.

Once everyone had their stories in their heads we looked around for who should go first. "y/n i think you should go first" chris said with a cocky smile.

5 years ago

"ok so what do you wanna watch?" chris said as he sat down next to me on the bed.a good amount of distance between us for friends so it's too bad i wanted to be more than that.i played the lack of romance off by just ignoring it,refusing to look over at his side profile while he flicked through an assortment of movies.

"no clue, what are my options?" I asked while staring at the tv.

“Uhm maze runner ‘Nah’ nightmare before Christmas ‘ehh’ hairspray ‘YES OMG YES’ ”was how the interaction went before he clicked on the movie I wanted.

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞

While watching the movie we had gradually moved closer together.not on top of each other but definitely closer than before.now I was slouched down slightly with our shoulders touching, nothing crazy i know but I’ll take what I can get.

Once we got about an hour into the movie I began to zone out.letting myself to wander in my own thoughts.watching the romance movie only made these thoughts worse. “Jesus” I muttered under my breath.

“What, what’s wrong?”he asked, looking down at me.

“It’s nothing, just movies like this always make me sad.” I replied truthfully.I knew what I was about to say but I was ok with it.he was one of the few people I didn’t mind sharing these thoughts with.

“Why?” He asked with a puzzled look on his face.just one word for him but years of insecurities,self hatred and yearn for love for me.

“Cause I know I’ll never have anything like that, nobody will ever love me like that, ya know”I answered hesitantly while still staring at the tv.I had now sat up a little from the previous position I was in.being at the same level as him made me nervous especially since the topic of conversation but I had to,my back was killing me.

“Why do you think that?”Chris said with a slight laugh,as if he couldn’t believe I thought like that.now although the thought he was shook I found myself unloveable was comforting,I knew he was only being nice.

I looked at him for a second before saying what I had been thinking my whole life. “Dude I’m like the ugliest girl at school.” I answered honestly. “I mean it’s whatever, I know everyone thinks that.”I continued with a shrug at the end of my sentence.it felt weird talking about this but also for some reason, reliving.

The look he gave me after I said that wasn’t one I could describe or replicate.he looked shocked and confused at the same time almost. “I don’t think that…”he mumbled.if I hadn’t tuned out the movie long ago I wouldn’t have even heard him to be honest

“What” was all I could say.had i misheard him?I must've, right?

"I don't think you're the ugliest girl in the school, you're...you're beautiful ''he said, making me feel like I was in a scene from a movie.although i wanted to keep up my nonchalant act of not caring about what others thought,i simply couldn't.

i was shocked he had said this.my lips were slightly parted due to me knowing i wanted to say something but not really knowing what to say.i mean how does one respond to that.his eyes flicked down to my lips before the one thing i never thought would happen, happened

Before I could realize what he was about to do, the boy in front of me who I had been crushing on for like forever grabbed my jaw and connected our lips passionately.I was shocked at first but slowly melted into the kiss I had been longing to have for most of my life.

our mouths moved in sync while both of our eyes were closed.it felt like we were the only two people on the planet.once we pulled away i took a moment to look at the boy in front of me.his disheveled hair,piercing blue eyes, pinkish lips, he was perfect.i then said words i don't think i will ever forget saying. "i-i think your beautiful too"

my face heated up as i finished the story. "You guys are too cute, it makes me wanna throw up."Nick said jokingly. Normally I would respond with something snarky but if I opened my mouth i think I would burst out laughing out of embarrassment and nervousness.chris's head was just down, most likely with the same expression as me.

"We were so corny" he said, laughing as he picked his head up.although i thought the moment was really cute,it was pretty cringe when i think back on it.

"We were like 15,"I said in my own defense.

"yea and you wouldn't even get with me till like 2 years later!" my boyfriend responded.

"ok ok next story"i started with a huge smile on my face still.

★𝐎𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚

Chris sturniolo x fem!reader

Proofread:Yupp

Word count:559

WARNINGS:nothing!

A/N:this is pt2 of love birds so if you haven’t read that then you should bc it’s like the set ip for this, also it’s just rlly cute so yea.btw I’m working on the pt2 for ‘jealous girl’ I swear, I just don’t know how to end it rlly😭

𖦹 𖦹

“Jesus it’s cold as fuck in here, can someone turn the heat on” I asked once I got in my seat.i don’t even know how the two boys were in here for so long.it was like 30 degrees.Boston winters are too much sometimes

“Nah cause the heaters super loud and the camera will probably pick it up.”Matt responded as he set up the camera in question.I didn’t want to be rude so I just nodded and opened my phone to answer some snaps while Matt placed the camera on the dashboard and went outside to check if we were in focus.

“You can have my hoodie, I don’t really need it.”Chris suggested, probably not realizing the camera was on.before I could even answer he was taking his sweatshirt off and passing it back to me.

I thanked him as I slid it on.the smell of cologne hit my nose almost immediately. “Cold as fuck out there jeez”Matt huffed as he got back into the car.

“It’s not that bad”Nick, who was decked out in warm clothing, responded.

It had been about 5 minutes now and I realized that I hadn’t opened either one of my drinks yet.when I was in the store I didn’t realize that the Fanta I had picked up was in a can,meaning I couldn’t open it due to my nails.

“Matt, can you open this?'' I asked over Chris and Nick bickering back and forth about if dogs were really dumb or not.normally I would’ve turned to my right and just asked Nick but I didn’t want to interrupt this sibling bonding moment he was having.

Matt didn’t respond in words.only showing me his freshly painted nails which were black and white.there was no use in asking Nick seeing as he was knee deep in his run-on sentence at the moment.

Chris, who was actively making fun of his brother, was my last option. Just as he was about to yell back at Nick I tapped his shoulder.halting his sentence.he turned his head back to look at me.

“Can you open this for me”I said in a regular tone in contrast to everyone else in the car.his face softened once he saw me.his hyper,loud personality dropped as he answered my question.

“Yea sure”he said in a normal voice as well.his actions were simple.he grabbed the can, popped it open and then handed it back to me.such small,basic movements but charming nonetheless.

We were now on the outro.Matt had grabbed the camera and turned it towards Chris, expecting him to do something weird like he always does.but instead of that he was turned around again,talking to me.

“Did you do something new with your hair,it looks nice.''was all he said.no more than 15 words but enough to turn me a flushed color.

The look in his pale eyes was genuine.not a glimpse of anything but the truth in them.something I wasn’t used to with him.we would make fun of each other constantly.compliments either way we’re weird.maybe if he saw how I felt for him and we became something more they wouldn’t be as rare as they were right now.