Thinking About Teacher Izuku Who Ended Up In A Fuck Buddies Situation With You But Always Wanted More.

Bakugo wasn’t exactly… unaware of the fact that he gets a little bit in his head about you. It took him months to finally get settled into a relationship mindset without losing his sense of cool (being so in love with you, that is)… but then, suddenly, you’ve been dating for a year or so and have asked him to pick up some essentials for you at the pharmacy… and it turns out, in the meantime of his early-relationship-anxious-bliss, he forgot to actually pay attention to the little things about you (he doesn’t know what deodorant you wear).

Afternoon patrolling 🌅

baseball hawks smau perchance..

AAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHH being fwb with the baseball team's captain mhm mhm mhm

from the dugout // hawks

-

mha tag: @lotuslovers @babylambdietcoke @0skullyard0

keigo tag: @bitchyfestivalbouquet

orrrrder up! ft. touya todoroki (2)

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

warnings&a/n: more kys jokes because I'll never stop and bullying(?) thanks so much for the love on the last one!!!!! made me sososososo happy!!!! hope you guys like this one and HAPPY NEW YEARS

link to part 1 here

✦ ；SICK MISUNDERSTANDING

todoroki x reader, bakugo x reader, fluff Summary: you started feeling sick and you accidentally ignored him, making him think that you're mad. pt.1, pt.2

💙﹕ TODOROKI SHOTO ୨୧

💣﹕ BAKUGO KATSUKI ୨୧

˗ˏˋ A/N: I said this would be out soon but ended up posting it the next year😓

cringedoriya and nerdkugo

🍓 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

texts with the bnha guys; fem! reader (aged up) characters included: katsuki bakugou, izuku midoriya, shoto todoroki, tenya iida, eijirou kirishima, denki kaminari.

! you send them a naughty pic

warnings: sfw but suggestive

010. CARNATIONS

It was all a blur.

Desperate arms wrapped around his frame the moment he stepped into sight. Touya shed more tears than he had in years today, the faces in the back of his mind that were beginning to fade away became crystal clear in an instant. Twin diamonds shine and leave a salty trail down his cheeks when his mother finally hugs him.

She cradled Touya's face in her palms as her fingers rubbed gently against his skin—telling Touya she was so proud of him, telling Touya he looked so healthy—telling Touya she was so happy to see him. Touya smiles when he's sad, and it was truly a sight to behold. His eyes had shards of gold glittering in them as they caught the afternoon sun's rays, and his smile was so handsome and authentic, it looked like the Gods themselves had carved it into his face.

Natsuo wasn't as 'tough' as Touya remembered him. Because the moment Touya cursed his brother out for getting taller than him while he was gone, Natsuo weeped like a newborn. Maybe he was mourning all those years growing up without having his older brother by his side—the years he spent as a teenager thinking he was getting older than his Touya-nii ever got to be.

Fuyumi was strong—she was able to hold Touya up all on her own when he crumped against her, pressing his cheek into the crown of her head as he thanked her for staying shorter than him. Her laughter is wet with tears, but it was just as sweet as he remembered. Natsuo's was too—just seeing them smiling at him felt like they'd ripped past skin and fleshed and pierced Touya's heart with a dagger carved with love.

Shoto's eyes flittered between his siblings and mother—watching them all stand around Touya as he swayed on his feet, unable to hold himself up as they all murmur quietly to each other—there weren't many words spoken, just the occasional sniffling and hiccuping sobs as they fussed over him

Shoto doesn't know when you intertwined your fingers with his to hold his hand, but he'll be forever grateful you did because his chest is so tight he doesn't think he can breathe right. His eyes move fast, rapidly blinking as he watches the scene in front of him unfold from afar

He's never felt more like an outsider than he did right now. He was watching his family show more emotion in this moment than he's ever seen in years. He looks to you for a moment, almost hesitating to step towards them all as his eyes are clouded with an unmistakable mist. You squeeze Shoto's hand encouragingly, and soon enough, he's slipping out of your grasp and gravitating towards Touya.

He's facing Touya's back right now, watching his older brother lean into their mother's palm as she kisses his hands before Shoto clears his throat—an attempt to catch their attention. He can see the muscles in Touya's back physically tense before he turns around. Touya's eyes catch yours first—before they slowly move to Shoto.

Shoto isn't a very good hugger. He's not really sure how to wrap his arms around Touya without it being awkward. Unfortunately—Touya also wasn't a good hugger. He stills when Shoto slowly wraps his arms around him, the younger boy's eyes closing as his face bumps against Touya's chest. Touya's words are stuck in his throat as his mouth goes dry, a strange feeling spreading in his chest as he looks down to see Shoto's ivory and ruby strands pressed against him.

Touya always thought Shoto had grown up to be a carbon copy of their father. He didn't know why, but he never really assumed Shoto may have grown to be a good kid until the war.

So, Touya tries his best. Wrapping his arms around the younger boy and letting out a shaky breath as his eyes squeeze close.

Rei went overboard with dinner. The table was covered with all the classics—rice, grilled fish, miso soup, pickled vegetables—everything and anything you could imagine. Rei was so proud when she saw the look on Touya's face, her heart soaring as her son muttered something along the lines of how good the food looked.

You were Touya's support through the entire dinner as he spoke. Most of the questions he got asked consisted of how he was feeling and adjusting. He answered all of them remarkably well, his voice even and smile calm as he ate his dinner

You sat in between Shoto and Touya, and you almost wish you weren't sitting between them when you watch Shoto lean over the table to look at Touya every time he spoke. It was like he was in a trance as he watched his older brother speak—if Touya noticed Shoto's lingering stare, he didn't say anything.

Shoto wanted to hear every word that came out of Touya's mouth. And luckily, everyone stayed at the dinner table well after dinner was finished. The conversation was nostalgic and calm. It was sad and maybe sometimes Touya would have to blink back tears, but God, he loved it all so much.

Rei was quiet for most of the dinner, save for soft smiles as she listened to Touya talk. Even when he was a kid, Touya talked a lot. She wants to ask Touya if he knows how he subconsciously leans towards you during the entire dinner, whispering things in your ear that have you fighting a smile

It was stupid little jokes he made whenever someone wasn't speaking to him—he'd jump so fast whenever he noticed the attention wasn't on him anymore as his eyes found yours. Unfortunately, Touya didn't notice how his mother's eyes never left him.

She saw it all. The way your eyes crinkled with a smile whenever Touya said something stupid, how Touya offers to fill your glass and how you and him get into a quiet argument on who gets the bigger piece of fish, both of you insisting the other gets the larger half. You two end up sharing, smiling with silent laughter whenever his fork clinks against yours

Rei knows Touya's kindness isn't because of her parenting. It can't be. Touya was an angry and mean child, one who lashed out often and couldn't get along with others.

She had trouble dealing with Touya, and Enji did nothing but worsen his condition. Her own inner turmoil had her mind falling apart, and she had been struggling with the man who was supposed to protect them just as much as Touya was.

You made Touya like this—calming the storm in his heart Rei thought would rage on forever.

When he was Dabi, Touya was even worse. She had seen the news, she knew her first born was alive and wreaking absolute havoc. Years ago, his supposed death had been her breaking point. And, oh, what she would have given to save him from his inevitable fate.

She failed Touya. She and Enji, they had both failed him. Not intentionally—she never meant to fail him the way she did.

But you had not failed Touya, and Rei was going to treasure you forever for unknowingly saving her family.

Rei hadn't experienced real love before. But the way Touya just looks at you lets her know that even if she didn't get the privilege of being able to know what it was like, her son did. And that alone is enough to make her happy.

"Mom?"

Rei is startled, turning to look at Natsuo when he places a hand on her shoulder, dishes in hand. Everyone's dispersed by now, and she realizes she's the only one still at the table.

"You spaced out again." Natsuo says, a sad smile on his face as he gently rubs his mother's shoulder. Rei's lips part as she makes a little 'o' with her mouth, before smiling softly

"Touya's in love."

Natsuo blinks once, twice, before his lip twitches upward. He slides into the spot beside his mother, leaning in closer as he takes a quick glance at you and Touya—who was marveling over the endless channels on the big screen TV that was placed in the center of the living room, your laughter flowing through the air at his excited commentary—he was pointing out all of his favorite movies as a kid.

"I know. Just...try not to say anything to them, okay? It's definitely not something either of them can pursue yet. Bringing it up in front of them isn't the best idea right now." He mutters quietly as Rei nods slowly, the gears in her mind shifting as she stays quiet in thought. Fuyumi calls Natsuo from the kitchen, asking him to bring the remaining dishes as he quickly stands up, following her voice.

Shoto pretends he wasn't able to hear Natsuo as he keeps his head low, piling the remaining dishes into his arms before strolling after his older brother. Of course, you had offered to help clean up like a good guest earlier—but Fuyumi had shooed you and Touya away before either of you got the chance, telling you to get comfortable in the living room.

Rei tilts her head to try and get a better look at you. Maybe she's getting ahead of herself, but Rei's thinking of the silver wedding band laying on the edge of her vanity. It was a ring that meant nothing, never had when it was slipped onto her finger

But it was a beautiful ring.

She wished it had been spent on a truer love. On something real and tangible, something as beautiful as the delicate diamonds encrusted into it. She zeroes in on your fingers, watching the way they curl around the TV's remote as you dangle it out of Touya's reach. He growls and grunts in an attempt to snatch it back from you, his laughter peaking through his facade easily as your squeals sound through the air

Yes, your fingers look like they'd fit her ring. She didn't ever think about passing her wedding ring down to one of her children, never even considered the thought. But...

For the first time in so many years, it was laughter that bounced between the walls of this house. It was beginning to feel like a home again.

You and Touya are dancing around such a fine line so carelessly.

Touya doesn't even know he's in love with you. He knows he cares for you, knows you've become the most important person in his life—he knows he loves you in some sense, but it took him a lot longer than he'd like to admit to realize he was in love with you.

He can see the cartoon's reflection in your eyes as you watch the TV right beside him. His body, simply put, was drawn to yours. You're pressed against his side, and he can smell you. You smell sweet, and he resists the urge to sniff you.

The thought is odd. He pauses, blinking at the TV screen but not even absorbing what's going on as his eyes slowly drag towards you. Did he almost sniff you, just now?

Okay. Touya was weird, he already knew that. But when has he ever wanted to sniff someone? That was just fucking weird. Suddenly, he starts thinking—and it feels like he's been carelessly missing the ON button in the back of his mind, and it had finally been switched on my some miracle.

He's had these type of thoughts before. Actually—he's had a lot of these thoughts before. He had just...ignored them. Too engrossed in any moment with you to truly acknowledge them.

Yeah, he wants to sniff you. He wants to know what shampoo you use, he wants to know your favorite meal—you know his, when does he find out yours? He wants to know if you have siblings like him, he wants to know if you take cold showers or hot showers, he wants to know if you like his family, he wants to know if you like him the way he likes you.

The realization dawns on him slowly, and Touya realizes he has never been more clueless in his life.

He likes you.

No, not like a patient liked their doctor. And not like how a victim liked their savior—it wasn't like that.

He liked you like he'd die without you, like his heart would cease its beating and he would genuinely be unable to feel any semblance of happiness again if you slipped away

He suddenly realizes you can't like someone that much. It was another feeling, and he was in deep.

"Aw, fuck."

You peer up at him through your lashes, a confused hum leaving your lips as you tilt your head towards him in concern

Touya looks down at you, a small smile splayed on his lips. He thinks, no—he knows he'll never love someone this much.

"You know, I forgot this sucker died at the end." He mumbles quietly, taking your chin between his fingers and tilting it towards the TV as a whine escapes your lips

"Touya! You spoiled it!" You pout, looking at the cartoon and huffing—what kind of kid's movie has anyone dying in it?!

"I'm kidding." He murmurs with a quiet laugh, watching relief flood your features moments later as you tuck yourself back into his side

"Good. I like that little guy."

"The cat?" He muses, leaning further into you as his breath fans your neck

He's so warm. So welcoming and gentle—and you can't even try and stop yourself from leaning further into him.

"Yeah. He reminds me of you."

The cat in question, was a grumpy little thing that spends most of the movie snacking on sweet treats—its belly round and happy from being loved so well. It was a silly little side character, but in an odd way, it reminded you of Touya's little mannerisms. The way it pouted and huffed and cracked the most absurd jokes the entire movie had you smiling ear to ear.

His fingers find your sides quickly, and you try to pry his hands off as he tickles your side mercilessly—adorable huffs of "Touya, everyone's sleeping!" escaping your lips as you try and muffle your laughter, covering your mouth as he pulls your hand away from your lips—saying he wants to hear you squeal and laugh for him.

You get him back, of course. But he doesn't even try to be quiet as you tickle his belly. He laughs loudly, straight from his gut and filled with so much joy that you can't bring yourself to stop

Touya has a really nice laugh, you think, watching him grin so wide—you think it must hurt to be smiling so much. He suddenly hooks a leg over yours, and the both of you roll off of the couch and onto the ground in your fits of laughter—and not once, not ever, has Touya felt more loved.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; something is cominggggg 👀!

tags!

@kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse @starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo

@summercreolefanfictioner @dija200 @phtmmsqrde @sunaraii

@c-lunette @gh0stgirl333 @skullkittens @gurl-pls-evn-the-sharks-fear-me

@hawkwithsocks @suresnips @sugurusmoon @matchablossomsss @moonlitmorganite

@redr0sewrites @muimuiwisteria @sukunaspillow @starsryi

@eidolonwriter @dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kelin-is-writing

@shugs1801 @imaginationmess

@lasa27 @sophiathefrog @etaerealboy @kooromin @sourbbyxo

@hvnares @ephmeraloblivion @lost-seraphiim @quokka-ina @jesuschrist2006

@stoned-anime-babe @qatiee @shadowsingers-redhood @alycat171

@21-princess

@xileonaaaa @rylerboi @blurryperrtymoonlight @mrcleans4headwrinkle @accidentpronedork

@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11

reminder that being against ai also means being against character.ai and not using character.ai and not interacting with character.ai

i've never talked to chatgpt i've never talked to character.ai i have no interest in talking to a chatbot even if it's fun or based on my comfort character. if we want companies to stop using ai we need to tell them we aren't going to interact with it - so don't.

don't talk to robots. full stop.

008. CARNATIONS

Endeavor's privilege of ever stepping foot in the same room as Touya had been rightfully revoked for the next four months. And after that time was up, Touya's state would be reevaluated to determine if Endeavor would ever be allowed to see or speak to him again.

The weeks after the incident consisted of multiple surgeries. His burns, thankfully, were not as bad as they had once been.

You're not sitting in your usual spot. You're sitting on Touya's bed today—criss crossed as he sat right beside you. A chilling breeze blew through the room, sending the curtains fluttering as you shiver. You reach up and pull the window close, locking it.

Right now, you're teaching Touya how to make paper snowflakes. There was glitter, markers, and stray scraps of paper everywhere. Touya's eyes are narrowed in concentration as he watched you angle your scissors, your gentle tone giving him step by step instructions on how to cut out the necessary shapes and folds

"Okay...we overlap and cut the triangle in the corner over here, Touya." You mumble, tongue poked out just the slightest bit in concentration as you cut with every ounce of attention and care you could give. Touya's eyes flickered between his sheet of paper and back to yours, his hands near trembling as he struggled to create the same cuts in the paper you made with ease.

After an agonizing ten minutes, you're unfolding your paper to reveal a pretty snowflake. Touya watches the way your eyes gleam with pride as you hold it up for him. It was elegant with clean cuts on each corner, obviously made by someone who knew what they were doing. Hesitantly, Touya unfolds his own paper before staring down at the monstrosity in his lap blankly

"This is the ugliest fucking thing I've ever laid eyes on, Y/n." Touya mumbles dryly, holding up his snowflake with so much distaste in his expression that you can't even hold back your laugh

Touya catches the smile tugging at your lips, and he can't even be mad. He can't blame you for his snowflake turning out so messed up. Every time you were voicing the directions for him, he was too busy looking at your face instead of paying attention to his snowflake. But it's not his fault! You were so engrossed in cutting, and he had the perfect opportunity to stare at you as openly and shamelessly as he wanted to without you noticing.

"Touya, I'm not quite sure what to say. I mean—it's very...unique!" You voice, trying to contain your smile as you smooth out the crinkled edges of his paper

"Yeah, yeah..." He mumbles, staring at you quietly as you try to fix his snowflake—if you could even call it one. He's snapped out of his trance when you place your hand over his and grab the scissors, guiding his movements to make minor incisions into the paper

"We can cut these parts off to fix the shape..." You whisper, concentration lining every single one of your features as you snip away

The day Touya allowed you to physically hold him for the first time was when the invisible boundary between the two of you had been erased. He lets you touch him now—hold him and comfort him when some nights are harder than others.

Your hand is a lot smaller than his. He could cup the entirety of it in his palm alone if he wanted to. Your slender fingers curl around his rougher and larger ones along with the scissors, and you feel soft against his skin.

You take your warmth with you when you pull your hand away, excitedly waiting for Touya to unfold the new snowflake as you smile. He unfolds it with his own grin, which widens a bit when he sees the finished product.

It was a little wonky, and maybe some edges were torn from Touya's fingertips pressing into them too hard—but the two of you had made it together, so it was perfect in Touya's eyes.

"Let's tape them onto the window!" You chirp, quickly hopping off of the bed as Touya follows behind you. You quickly tear a piece of tape off and hand it to Touya. He tapes his snowflake high on the window. The snow outside the hospital fell softly. There were strong gusts of wind that carried the falling snowflakes and had them dancing and swirling through the air

Touya watched you stand on your tippy toes—trying to get your snowflake as high as his. Carefully, he grabs your wrist and uses his other hand to pry the snowflake out of your grip before he grabs the tape and secures it right beside his on the window

You blink a bit in surprise when he does this, before smiling softly to yourself as he carefully taped it

After they're hung, the two of you step back to admire your work. There's hundred of snowflakes littering the window on the other side of the glass. You and Touya's much larger snowflakes fit like puzzle pieces amongst the mass of the much smaller ones

"I think we did an excellent job, Touya!" You grin, tucking your hand into a fist as you rest your chin on it. Touya merely hums in response, watching your eyes shine with satisfaction before you turn around, hands moving to rest on your hips.

"All right...now it's clean up time." You pout, eyes raking over all of the arts and crafts scaling the room as Touya nods with a grunt, already beginning to pick up the scraps of paper that were on his bed

You both work in peaceful silence, working efficiently and maneuvering around each other easily as you clean. How the two of you managed to make such a mess in just barely over an hour is beyond you. But cleaning up with Touya is calming. The whole feeling is simply domestic—and you feel silly trying to imagine you and Touya in a different environment besides the hospital

Maybe...maybe he'd enjoy doing little crafts and activities like this in your living room with you. You quickly shake away the thought, embarrassed with yourself as you sneak a quick glance towards Touya—who was screwing the lid back onto a small bottle of glue that laid on his side table

You sigh quietly enough so he doesn't hear, mentally scolding yourself for allowing your feelings to peak through once again. Your heart wasn't your priority, Touya's heart was. It didn't matter what you wanted, what he needed was more important.

Once you toss the remaining scraps into the dust bin, you see Touya already sitting on the edge of his bed idly. His long legs are stretched out in front of him comfortably as he tilts his head at you, a hint of curiosity in his eyes

"What'cha thinking about?"

Touya was extremely attentive. Most patients struggled to pick up on small cues or even notice the little things. They were usually up in their own world and rarely ever focused on the people around them

Touya was the exact opposite. He managed to catch every shift in your expression and pinpoint the exact moment your mood changes. Which unfortunately, was not a good thing for you. You had a pretty bad poker face—that was something Touya had learned pretty quickly.

"Oh! Uh—I was thinking that maybe we could, uh, play a board game?"

Touya smirks a bit when you fumble with your words. He nods with a hum, knowing well you were lying but deciding he'd let you get away with it this time

You send him a flustered nod, quickly exiting the room and clicking the door close a little too fast, leaving Touya alone with his thoughts.

You take a steadying breath as you board the elevator, pressing the first floor button as you tap your foot against the tiled floor. You allow your back to rest against the wall as you squeeze your eyes shut, letting out a groan of embarrassment.

Exiting the elevator with a pout and eyes glued to the floor, you don't even notice your supervisor scrambling towards you with a frantic look in her eyes as she desperately tries to warn you. Unfortunately, you don't hear her until it's too late—the Todorokis reach you before she does

"Y/n," Shoto calls out to you, a tinge of relief in his tone at the sight of you as you whip around to meet his voice in surprise

Beside Shoto stood Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Rei Todoroki. You freeze in place, slowly meeting their curious gazes with parted lips

This was very unexpected. You're at a loss of words for a moment as you let their presence solidify in your mind—the gears shifting in your head when you see the scars carved onto each one of their faces

Rei watched you with round and attentive eyes, and you finally swallow the lump in your throat as you approach the family

"I am so sorry—I—wow."

Rei smiles kindly at you, but Fuyumi is the one to step forward and speak up

"Hello Y/n, I'm Fuyumi—Shoto's older sister! I'm sure he's told you about us, right?" She questions with a nervous laugh, sending Shoto a weary glance as the teenage boy stares back blankly, not catching on

You smile at Shoto's obliviousness, nodding your head quickly. Fuyumi smiles before they all bow in greeting the same way Shoto did whenever he'd meet you—you should've known the rest of the family would be just as traditional as him, and you quickly bow in respect to match their greeting before gesturing your head towards the hall

"I'm guessing you're all here to discuss something important. Let's go to my office, please."

Your office is cozy. Various plants are scattered all over and lamps hang low from the ceiling, casting the small room in a warm glow—the atmosphere was welcoming and seemed to put everyone at ease the moment they stepped in. It was a much welcomed change compared to the harsh white lights in the hospital's waiting area.

"We want to start off by apologizing for my father's actions. He was being stupid. Again. We've all spoken to him about what happened, and he hoped we would tell you he is truly sorry." Shoto starts, his voice heavy with truth and guilt. Rei watched you intently as her youngest son spoke, wanting to see your reaction.

"I understand, Shoto. Thank you." You reply softly as Shoto glances towards his siblings and mother before leaning back onto the couch. It's Natsuo who speaks up next.

"I know we haven't spoken in person before, Y/n. But I just...I wanted to thank you. Shoto's told me all you've done for my brother—Touya's always been stubborn and hard to understand. I didn't have much faith in a full recovery for him, especially with the shit our father pulls. But—" Natsuo's voice trembles as he suddenly cuts himself off, dropping his head in his hands as he lets out a shuddering breath

Fuyumi places a hand on her brother's back and rubs it in an attempt to comfort him before taking a deep breath

"Touya is our brother. We need to help him. And...it's been a while since he's been admitted into this program. And we've talked it over with your boss and the other doctors after looking over the contract we signed..." She trails off, suddenly at a loss for words as you nod your head slowly, encouraging her to continue.

"Touya's allowed to have monitored visits out of the hospital if it means it'll improve his condition...Our dad moved out so he won't be a problem at all, Y/n! I mean, the contract said if you gave us the green light telling us Touya was stable enough then there was a possibility...But we won't do anything unless you think it's okay! We just...want him home for the holidays. New Years is almost here, and it's a time for new beginnings. What better way to start it than with Touya-nii?"

Touya is bored.

You were supposed to be getting his board game, yet you've been gone for nearly half an hour. He's not worried, merely annoyed with the fact that you were probably whisked away to partake in some side task

The remote plugged into the side of his bed was for emergencies only. But right now, it was practically singing his name. Touya's finger hovers over the red button, and with a silent apology—he presses it about a dozen times before hanging it back onto the side of his bed

He lies down, folding his arms behind his head with a sly grin as he taps his foot against the edge of his bed, already looking forward to your inevitable return.

The silence after Fuyumi's words stretched for only a few moments before Touya's buzzer rang like hell—blaring loudly as everyone in the room flinched from the sound.

You wince, desperately trying to mute it as your hands miss the power off button four times from pure nerves

"Touya..." You whisper, pulling yourself out of your seat

"I'm so sorry, I need to go see him—can we please reschedule for all of us to meet again? Maybe sometime tomorrow?" You wince, bowing your head in shame at your sudden departure as Rei finally speaks

"That's ok. You can just call and let us know of your decision. We told you everything we needed to." She says, slowly standing up as your heart rate picks up

This woman was Touya's mother. That fact makes you look at her differently.

"Of course—I'll get back to you all as soon as I can. Oh! Hold on!" You say, moving to the side of your desk and grabbing the small bowl that laid on the corner

"Candy?"

None of them can refuse your kind smile. They all pick one out before filing out of your office, bidding you goodbye. Shoto sends you one last lingering look over his shoulder before he quietly closes the door behind him

After quite literally collapsing against the wall, you take a deep breath in an attempt to collect yourself and make sense of what had just happened

They want Touya to go home for the holidays. You were suddenly glad you didn't have to give them a response right now, because you couldn't. Not without talking to Touya first, at least. You were still unsure on how he felt about his mother or siblings, especially Shoto. It was territory you hadn't ventured into with Touya yet, and the fact that you had to do it now made your insides squeeze with anxiety

The walk back to his room was not a pleasant one.

Touya knows something is wrong when he catches sight of the look on your face. That and the fact that you had returned without his board game.

"What's wrong?"

His frown only deepens when he's met with silence, and you slowly approach his bed before sitting on your chair beside him. Your fingers trace patterns on your thigh as your brows furrow, eyes in deep thought.

You finally turn to look at him. He stares back silently, unblinking. It was like he refused to blink at all—afraid he'd miss something in your expression that would explain what had you all quiet like this.

"Touya...how do you feel about Shoto?"

He goes rigid beside you in an instant, and you almost wince at the way his eyes ice over. He doesn't respond. His eyes just bore into yours as he tries to figure out where this conversation was going.

"Fuyumi and Natsuo, too. And...your mother."

His eyes are as hard as ice now. It reminds you of how he looked at you when you'd first met him—feelings and emotions swimming under the frozen layer that caged them as they thrashed against the solid ice in a desperate attempt to break free.

His gaze slowly narrows, and you finally realize how hard he was gripping the sheets beneath him when you look down and see his knuckles had turned a ghostly white.

"Is that why you were gone so long? Were you talking with them?"

He spits the words out before he can stop himself, and they come out so much meaner than he wanted them too. His shoulders slump in defeat as the tension in his brows disperses the slightest bit, all before he lets out a sigh.

"How do I feel about them...how do you think I feel about them?"

"I think you love them."

He scoffs at the nerve you have. And the fact that you're right.

He finally looks away from you, glaring at the ground instead of you because you don't deserve his attitude.

"Course I fucking do. Doesn't mean I want to see them. Not now, not ever." He mumbled quietly. He was lying. Both of you knew it.

Shoto. Mom. Natsuo. Fuyumi. Just thinking of them made his head hurt. Made his heart hurt.

You can sense the unease in Touya's muscles as he bit the inside of his cheek, and you realize he's trying not to cry when he squeezes his eyes shut in frustration with himself.

"Let's end the night here, Touya. Lay in bed and just...think about it. This isn't easy—not the slightest bit. I want to give you some alone time so you can really figure out how you feel, okay?" You say softly, gently pushing on his shoulders to lay him down

He gives you no verbal response, just nodding his head at your words as his head hits the pillow.

He lays stiffly, watching as you pack your bag as you routinely do before you leave. He's slowly building the courage to speak what's on his mind...

"Are they all okay? After..."

Your eyes soften when you understand what he's asking, slowly approaching his bed as you try and find the right words. All of them would be scarred for life after Touya's attack. Mentally, and physically.

"Everyone was affected deeply by the war. But your family misses you, Touya. What happened in the past can never be erased or forgotten, but we can do our best to make up for our mistakes."

He's quiet again. He's deep in thought for a while before he slowly nods

"I'll think about what you said."

You nod softly, turning off his lamp. Touya looks like a kicked down puppy, his eyes tired and sad and he looks like he could take a nap that lasted for a century.

You can't stop yourself from leaning down and pressing a soft, lingering kiss onto his forehead.

Touya's not stupid. He knows doctors aren't this gentle and loving with their patients. You know this too. His gaze speaks a million emotions as he stares at you with wide eyes

Your fighting the urge to climb into the hospital bed with Touya to simply hold him. Touya slowly reaches out for your hand, his scarred lips brushing against your knuckles as he whispers goodnight into your hand, pressing a soft kiss onto your skin.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; hi babiesss :3 this chapter was much needed after the last few. also, comment if u think touya would like to meet y/n's cats! (she's a cat lady in case u couldn't tell) also this girl is gonna get her ass FIRED is she keeps this up lmaoo & rememberrrr i love u all!! i'm having so much fun with carnations and i'm glad you all are too :)

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