011. CARNATIONS

011. CARNATIONS

Mornings with you in the Todoroki household were mornings Touya never wanted to let go of. They were simple, they were intimate, they were romantic.

Every day was like an odd dream come true. Yes, his family tip toed around him like he was something delicate—something that'll shatter if they press their fingertips too hard against him. But Touya was like a bull, barreling through anyone and everything with that trademark grin stretched taut over his features

You woke up first most mornings with Fuyumi. She was a lovely person to start the day with, being friendly and sweet right as the sun rose. Everyone was quiet in the mornings, tired smiles and sleepy chatter was what breakfast sounded like. Soft.

The Todoroki household didn't get to have mornings like this—at least, not when Enji had been there.

Touya was always the last to stroll into the kitchen. He would stretch like a cat when he walked in—long arms perched over his head as he yawned. His hair was an absolute mess in the morning, and you always need to press your mouth against the rim of your mug to hide you smile

It stuck up in every direction—soft, ivory tufts curling and moving around him like a cloud. His shirt would lift a bit as he yawned, and you'd be able to catch a glimpse of his scars and abs flexing underneath his tee as he did—you'd snap your eyes away the second they caught sight of his happy trail peaking right above the waistband of his pants with burning cheeks.

Touya would slide into the seat beside you. A small, cheeky grin on his face as he rasped a casual good morning and how'd ya sleep? in your direction. There would be a boyish type of amusement swirling in his eyes if you ever did stutter with your response. Touya's teasing you and he knows it.

The rest of the day usually consisted of Touya hanging out with Natsuo and Fuyumi—both siblings had cleared their schedules, dedicating as much time as they could to Touya. Knowing he was in good hands—you'd take a step back and let them spend some much needed time with their brother.

Shoto was usually with you and Rei

There was still an invisible barrier he didn't dare to cross—and, well, no one was going to push Touya to bring Shoto with him. Shoto seemed perfectly content with watching his siblings hang out without him. If they were happy, what more could he ask for? He wasn't alone at home—he had his mother and you, a friend in the making.

Shoto liked you. A lot. He likes the way you think, he likes the way you talk—gently, softly, respectfully, with him and his mother. He could've never guaranteed a doctor that didn't have a personal bias to his family after the war, but they had all gotten particularly lucky with you.

He also thinks your the prettiest doctor he's ever seen—maybe just the prettiest person ever. It wasn't just on the outside, this prettiness. It was you, in and out. Shoto has never met someone so genuine. Someone so open and wiling—maybe you were naive for giving one of Japan's biggest criminals a chance—but Shoto will forever be grateful you offered Touya a hand when he needed it most.

"Why didn't you chose to become a teacher?"

Your eyes flick up from the letter you were helping Shoto construct for Touya, a little startled by his quick question before you smile. You were doing a wonderful job teaching Shoto how to construct this paticular letter for Touya—your patience was endless as the poor teen struggled to find the right words he wanted to present his nii-san with. And while you were helping him—you mention how you had a dream of teaching at one point.

"I have the education to become one, but—you know how life is, don't you Shoto? Unexpected things happen all the time. I think it was a split second decision, but I'm forever grateful I chose to become a psychiatrist." You grin, gently nudging his shoulder as he offers you a half smile

"So you teach Touya too?" He questions after a moment, and you nod with a hum

"That's....that's very nice of you."

Shoto wasn't very good at keeping a conversation flowing, but he was trying. You lead the talk from there—and he seems relieved you understood that he wanted to keep talking even though he had nothing more to say as he leans back in his chair, listening to you speak with a small smile on his face as he nods along.

It was Thursday today, your last full day at the Todoroki household. You and Touya would leave tomorrow afternoon, and the thought is saddening. Was it selfish to want to stay longer? It was hard getting all the supervisors and doctors on board with allowing Touya to leave the facility with no guards anyway—so instead of wishing for more, you focus on the present. Cherish it.

Eventually, everyone is back home within a few hours. Touya's smile beams as bright as a beacon after a day out with Natsuo and Fuyumi. Apparently, they had taken a drive and visited at all of Touya's favorite places in town.

Shoto had spent a few minutes asking Touya how his day was—what he ate, if he'd seen anything that had changed over the years—all sorts of little things. Touya was a bit short and clipped with his answers at first, but he warmed up to Shoto soon enough. How could he not when the poor kid was practically leaning off of his chair, hanging onto every word that left Touya's lips as he listened with a blank but frighteningly intense stare?

Of course Touya felt a little guilty asking Fuyumi and Natsuo to come with him and not Shoto—but Touya felt like any connection with Shoto would have to be formed one on one. He couldn't bring him along because that just wouldn't work. Touya needed to understand Shoto on his own.

The letters were working—Touya and Shoto had passed a few between each other over the last couple of days, and when Shoto presented Touya with another one right when he'd gotten home today—Touya had read it in the doorway with a small smile before offering Shoto an awkward fist bump

....Progress

You don't think you've seen Touya smile so much. He cries a lot too, but every tear shed is with a smile. He's so happy, you don't think he'll ever want to leave.

But even as the day to leave comes closer and closer, he doesn't seem upset. You and I will be together, was what he'd said when you asked him if he was sad to go back

I'll be happy as long as you're with me.

He had mumbled those last few words to you before his eyes fluttered close. He had a long today—fishing with his siblings, wrestling with Natsuo (and knocking over a very expensive vase in the process), all while ending the day talking for hours with you in the living room, reflecting over his trip and how he felt.

You're kneeling on the ground, back pressed against the couch Touya is laying on as your eyes trace over the dips and slopes of his neck. If you hold your breath quietly enough, you can hear the gentle thump of Touya's heart beating.

You didn't even hear Rei enter the room at first. Her feet were clad in socks as she padded in, and you were in a trance—mesmerized by the way Touya's soft lips moved in his sleep. He looked angelic even in his sleep—milky skin and pale hair. He was ethereal, really.

Rei sits beside Touya on the couch he was laying on, her hand moving towards his hair to card through the strands—she regards you with a soft smile, and you send her a shyer one in return

"Hi," You whisper quietly, cheek smushed against the cushion of the couch from where you sat on the ground as you brought your gaze back towards Touya. Rei bows her head quietly in greeting

The silence is filled by the crackling flames in the fireplace a few meters over from you all. It casts a blanket of gleaming gold over Touya's face. If you thought he couldn't look any more like an angel, you were mistaken. Because the glow of the flames highlights and sharpens his features, outlining him and licking his skin with its fierce shine

Sure, Touya had enough criminal charges against him to get a death sentence—but gosh, can't everyone else see the adorable dimples in his cheeks when he smiles?

You're trying to deny the feelings creeping up your chest—clawing at your ribs and simply begging to be released to find solace in his arms. You're smitten, head over heels, absolutely sick with nothing but a relentless, burning love for Touya.

"Thank you for what you've done for us, Y/n. You're a special part of our family now. I...can't picture Touya in my mind without you being right beside him."

You're snapped out of your daze when Rei finally speaks up—and the weight of her words sink into your brain slowly as you blink back tears. Her confession was quiet, but the truth in her voice was so raw. It took your breath away—and you sit in stunned silence before a small whimper escapes your throat. She used the hand that wasn't massaging Touya's scalp to swipe at the tears that rolled down your cheeks

"Thank you," You choke out, your voice heavy with emotion and wet with laughter as you lean into her palm. For a woman with an ice quirk, she was, surprisingly but pleasantly, warm.

Touya's chin trembles, just barely after you speak. But you catch the movement anyway—watching his lips settle into a wobbly line. Rei was too busy staring at you with round eyes to notice her son had been pretending to sleep the entire time she was playing with his hair

Touya wasn't trying to eavesdrop—he just thought his mother might shy away from playing with his hair if she knew he was awake.

Rei used to sneak into Touya's room when he was a child and do the same thing she'd been doing just now—she used to murmur apologies she wasn't brave enough to voice in the day while she scrubbed the salty remnants of tears that had dried on Touya's face. Touya went to bed crying more times that not, but Rei always snuck into his room late at night to try and ease the tension from his muscles.

Like a good mother would, Rei would massage the crease between his brows from furrowing too much, run her hands up and down his back—anything to try and help him. Little did she now her hands would lull that little boy to sleep every night.

Sometimes, Touya would get into fights with his mother on purpose just so she could come and hold him later at night. She'd often start speaking quietly to him thinking he was asleep, little I'm sorry Touya's and I love you, Touya's slipping past her lips.

Touya would always pretend to be asleep. But this time, he had accidentally intruded on a moment that wasn't meant for his ears.

Rei leaves after a few minutes, bidding you goodnight quietly as she heads upstairs and into her own room. You don't turn back to look at Touya until you hear the faint sound of her door clicking close

He's grabbing your palm, wrapping his fingers around your slender ones—intertwining his hand with yours

" 'm sorry." He mumbles quietly, a small smile on his face as he watched your hand practically drown in the grip of his larger one. He spread out his fingers, pressing your palm against his and admiring the way your fingers fit against his. It was like his hands were made to hold yours.

Out of all the destruction and heartbreak they've brung—they could bring love too. And comfort, and support—they could bring good.

He sits up fairly quickly, the blankets shifting beneath him as he sits up straight on the couch. You're still kneeling on the ground as he cradles your hand—playing with it. You wiggle your way between his legs, and he spreads his knees to let you into the gap between his legs. Your head falls onto the space between his thigh and knee, and he uses his free hand to curl a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

You both stare as he plays you like a puppeteer would—moving your hands with his. He spreads your fingers, curls them, and runs the pads of his fingertips over your knuckles more times than you can count. He spends time tracing any birthmarks he comes across too, circling around them with his thumb and committing them to memory

"Touya."

He can't look up. Touya presses his eyes closed, he can hear the unspoken question hanging in the air. The uncertainty, the doubt, the pending guilt. He hears it all—a thousand words spoken but not a sound passed between the two of you.

"I love you,"

Your hand goes still in his

"I love you Y/n. I love you so damn much. Like—it's bad. My whole fucking world revolves around you. You saved me, I thought I was done for after the war. I... I was gonna end it. End it all. I wish I could've met you sooner, and I wish I wasn't an absolute mess when we did meet, but—but Y/n, we work. We work, right? You're perfect. You're—fuck, everything I'll ever need and everything I'll ever want—you mean it all to me. No one can replace you. Do you understand what I'm saying? I fucking love you."

You thought you could hear his heartbeat before—but now, you can hear it slamming against his ribcage. He splays your palm over his chest, and it's like his heart is in your palm—if you squeeze your eyes shut hard enough, than yes—you could feel the blood oozing over your fingertips and down your wrists as his heart beats underneath your death grip. Because Touya just ripped his heart out of his chest and gave it all to you.

He leans down to cradle your face in his palms, which in turn means you have to tilt your head up to meet his lips. It's salty. The tears streaming down your face connect at your lips, but Touya licks them away

His kiss isn't perfect—this is his first kiss, after all. But Touya has never put more of his soul into anything else. It's a little desperate and there are moments when you laugh into his mouth with how clumsy he is as he pulls you onto his lap—but Touya's heart is bleeding everywhere and you're collecting the blood like a drain, taking all he had to offer and accepting ever fault and flaw

I love you, he mumbles against your lips. I love you I love you I love you—and suddenly, it's not his voice speaking the words anymore

It's yours.

His eyes are wide, like his ears have betrayed him. Like you kissing him back didn't already confirm how you felt about him. He swoops back in again, smiling against your lips as he presses soft kisses all over your face

You close your eyes. He kisses you everywhere. Your chin, your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids, your forehead—honoring the face he had come to love so much. Honoring the features that he would never forget—forever forged into his soul.

His advancements end with you pinned against the couch—and Touya feels dizzy as his forehead knocks against yours. He settles his weight around you carefully, near panting as he cradles you to his chest

He needs a second to collect his breath.

Your lips are tinged red from all the times he'd gently sunk those sharp teeth into the soft flesh of your lips, trying to taste you and feel you and God—you felt better than any daydream his mind could ever conjure.

"We're gonna get in trouble." You whisper, pawing at his chest. You feel high—it didn't happen, you didn't kiss him, it's not—

He kisses you again. It's soft, it's slow, it's sensual—and he pulls away after a brief moment

"Just...just us right now." He mumbles, kissing you again. Again and again and again. It takes him another twenty minutes to lead you to his room

Your soft giggles were the only sound until the door clicked close. He still held you up in his arms, your ankles locked together behind his back with your legs wrapped around his strong waist. He drops you onto the soft heap of blankets and pillows of his childhood bed before crawling in after you

For you, the next few hours the two of you spend huddled under his blanket in each other's arms were the absolute best.

Touya outlines all of your face's features once again, but this time—he tells you why he loves every single one so dearly. He tells you how when he was sixteen, he dreamed of becoming a father one day. He tells you how every night since he met you, he only dreams of one thing over and over again—you you you you, it's all you.

You tell Touya how you've talked to your cats about him—this gets a loud laugh rumbling from deep within his chest, one where his eyes twinkle in the moonlight as he smiles against your skin—you tell him how you've never been in love before, and how you like the way his bangs fall in front of his eyes when his whole body shakes with laughter

You tell each other all the things you wouldn't have dared to voice back at the hospital—maybe it was the new domestic setting the two of you were thrown in that egged you on. But it didn't matter. Not right now, at least. Because Touya was finally kissing you, finally opening and revealing the last bits of himself to you—stripping his heart and mind bare and succumbing to your sweet, gentle mercy.

Touya loved you, and you loved him. That was all that would ever matter at the end of the day.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; merry christmas and happy holidays!! :)) i really hope you guys liked this chapter 🥺 their first kiss + my posting schedule aligned PERFECTLY with christmas. so, this is my christmas gift to all of YOU lovely readers!! also i just wanna note (this is not written but its CANON) that y/n was telling her cat abt touya after meeting him for the first time and they were looking up at her like :O as she babbled on and on for a freaking hour. like "he is sooo handsome. the timeless type of of handsome. the CLASSY type." "but he's kinda sassy" "and an ass." "but that's okay! we'll work on that!!" and as alwayssss, thank you SO much for reading. I LOVE YOU ALL STAY SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 🩷🩷🩷🩷

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