Magus Musings - Dreams

Another night, another escape...

They’re married!  And I am genuinely, without a doubt, absolutely happy for them!  I knew it was coming even when i told him I loved him.  And it never bothered me.  I am very happy I went to celebrate.  They were adorable.  And I meant every word.  Every blessing.  They are perfect together, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

But Khala.  what he said bothered me more than it should have.  more than I think it should have.  “I don’t find every au ra attractive,” and I could feel him avoiding looking at me.  of course he meant me.  this after complimenting ayame on her beauty.  And anzu.

Ayame, Anzu, Suzume...all of them Raen.  All of them refined.   Cultured.  Learned.  Beautiful in their white scales and pale complexions.

is this what makes someone beautiful?  is this why I’m not?  Because I’m a dark-scaled, dark-skinned savage from the steppe?  Is this why no one consorts with me except out of pity?  I thought it just this accursed scar on my side, or my sins but

i am ugly.  mayhaps I shoudl just clothe myself and save everyone the suffering of looking upon me.

I like this...

Reblog this if you’re okay with people sending unexpected IC asks to your muse at any time! No meme prompts needed!

Reblog if you RP NSFW

I’m curious, and remember that doesn’t just mean smut. It also means gore, violence, abuse and stuff around those lines

Of course!

Reblog if I'm allowed to send you in character asks even if we have never talked before.

Birthday Candle - March 24th

The Day of the Endearing Intellectual

A thrilling scent to stir the spirits of the energetic, passionate, and dynamic souls born on March 24. Bottom notes of cedarwood, myrrh, and rosemary give way to a crisp middle note of mint and a top note of geranium flower.

March 24 people have an infectious optimism and an almost childlike sense of wonder that makes them naturally endearing.

Click here to convert your character’s birthday to an Earth date, then click here to find your candle.

Tagged by: @little-purple-thundercloud​

Everybody come have fun! 😊

1st Sun, 5th AM

Why is it, after all this time, I still hope for peace instead of violence?  That woman said it best, how can i be so naive?

Because I very nearly met the end of a blade, and it wasnt my fault.   I was hoping for peace that day too and it ended with a death.  even With her blood on my hands I know i was not fully to blame

and i know this man was evil i could see it written all over his stupid little face and in his aura   he had no remorse   I know he was sincerely scared of us all but he wasn’t apologetic, not enough to change.  But even despite that, he wasn’t armed.  His goons had fled.  He was no threat.

I fear so often that maybe we’re NOT in the right, not all the time.  How are we any different from that man, from Garlemald, from nemesis, if we’re willing to put a man to the sword with little justice except our own?   why do they think that just because we have such power that we have liberty to exercise it whenever we feel?   I was scared tonight - everyone seemed ready to murder this man.  for what reason??  he loaned money to one of ours and demanded payment back?  and when HE decided payment wasn’t enough, now we execute him?  Uldah has laws for his kind.   it’s not complete anarchy there

I hoped he’d want to live.  he made his choice, and i will not lose sleep tonight over the fact that he was cut down AFTER he tried attacking.  But I fear I will lose sleep knowing I am sleeping so close to people i consider my family because i keep seeing this side of them that is no different than the people i tried to entreat for peace before.

they took control of my mind and had me try to kill Lyta for them.   and I very nearly succeeded.

what will this “family” do to me when i oppose them again?

Dream Journal 9

He said “what if you’re dreaming of someone you used to be?”  And the damn scar burned like it knew!

What if it’s not someone I used to be     What if it’s someone she was?

I need to find a way to Idylshire, for the library there.  Or Ishgard, to research her house

Seven hells, I hope this gives me answers…

Reblog this.

If you do not care what gender your roleplay partner identify themselves as.

Be they male, female, trans, or whatever else is out there.

If you are a friend, you are a friend. If we ship our muses together, we ship the heck out of our muses. I don’t care if you are a female playing male, a male playing female or whatever is inbetween.

You are precious no matter what you are. And I love you.

Conflux, Pt. 4

“So if we don’t find a way out of this…we go back to our homes, yeah?”

The Commander shook her head.  “No, I don’t think that’s how it works.”  She looked around the small cavern, then turned to look at the dark tree in the center. “This dimension will just continue to shrink until it completely collapses in itself.”

“And if we’re inside, we just…disappear.” Anafenza stated this as a matter of fact, to which the Commander nodded in confirmation.  She swallowed the lump in her throat.  “Ok…how do we get out then?”

The woman shook her head. “Maybe it’s as easy as just finding a portal of some sort…somewhere that connects directly to our dimensions. Otherwise?  I…really don’t know.”

Stormy was standing closer to the tree.  She reached out to it, fascinated by the clouds of dark fog roiling off of it.  “What is this?”  She turned to the other women, then looked at Ana.  “You said you recognized it?  It represented your soul?”

Anafenza nodded.  “I…have seen it before in dreams, yes.  I had taken to interpreting it as my life force, my soul.  The vines…are the curse I bear, choking out my life, taking control.”

They gathered around it, looking at the massive trunk that reached to the top of the cavern, branches spreading outward just before hitting the ceiling.  “How poetic,” the Commander commented, pulling her scanning device out again.  She waved it around the tree, frowning.  “I…am not picking up anything except…an energy that my tricorder can’t identify. I can successfully scan the rocks in the cavern and the two of you but this…it’s as if it’s not even there.” She snapped the device shut again before reaching a hand out to feel the tree.  Stormy did likewise, though Ana stayed away from it, as scared as she was of it.  “It’s cold,” the woman commented, feeling the solid surface of the tree beneath her hand.

Stormy pulled away and turned again to Anafenza, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Something still isn’t adding up.”

The other women looked at her curiously, waiting for her to continue.

She motioned to the Commander.  “Both of us are ‘Jessica St. Peter.’  We look nearly the same, we have nearly similar histories, abilities, quirks, personalities.  But why are we all here?  If this pocket dimension was formed because we all have something in common, then why, specifically, are you here, Anafenza?”

Anafenza winced, and shied away from the girl’s withering gaze.  “I…I don’t know.  I knew a woman who called herself Jessika at one point…Jessika Saphir.  Her real name was Jessielle though, I think.”

The other two Jessicas looked at one another and nodded.  “It’s a start.”  Stormy turned back and pressed more.  “Why did she use a false name, do you know?  Were you close to her?”

Anafenza bit her lip and shook her head.  “I…don’t know all the details.  I know her family had been accused of…heretical activities in her home city of Ishgard, and they fled to avoid being killed.  Her house – Vingesang – doesn’t even exist anymore because of it.”

“Vingesang?”  The Commander looked puzzled.  “That’s…an odd name.”

“Familiar sounding, yeah,” Stormy commented.  “French?”

“It sounds like it, yeah,” the other woman confirmed with a nod.

Anafenza just shrugged. “It is an Ishgardian Elezen name.”

“Another race on your world?”

Anafenza nodded.  “Tall, long-limbed, pointy ears.  Very regal.”

Stormy smirked, before looking at the Commander again.  “My French is not that great; my JD has been trying to teach me but, sadly, I haven’t picked up too much.  Do you know what it means?”

The Commander shook her head, but instead pulled out her tricorder, tapping a few buttons, and then repeated the word, “Vingesang.”  She held out the device’s screen for Stormy and Ana to see.  “Vine of Blood…Bloodvine?”

Stormy recoiled, her eyes wide, and stared at Anafenza.  “You have got to be kidding me…Bloodvine?!”

For as surprised as Stormy was, Ana was equally confused.  “You…know this word?”

Stormy nodded slowly. “It was…the name of the boarding school my…my girlfriends went to, in the Isles.  The Bloodvine Academy.”

The Commander laughed, smiling bright.  “There’s one connection, then.  Bloodvine, and this other Jessika.  But that doesn’t explain why you’re here, Anafenza.  Were you two lovers?”

Anafenza shook her head. “No…I hardly knew her.  I…I mean…”  She fidgeted, fretting over telling these women the real reason why a third Jessika wasn’t here with them.  “It wasn’t my fault!  My mind was taken over, I couldn’t stop myself!”

The Commander nodded slowly, her eyes showing she was putting the dots together.  Stormy, however was having a harder time.  “What did you do, Ana?”

“I killed her,” Anafenza admitted flatly, and she winced to see Stormy pull away from her, eyes wide, electricity dancing across her fists.  “I was trying to kill someone else and…Jessika was in my way.  And I killed her for it.  This was…years ago.”  Ana wiped her eyes, feeling more tears come out of shame.

Stormy looked to the Commander, then back to Anafenza.  “Are you here to kill us too, then?”

“Jessiy!” The Commander chastised her, moving towards Anafenza.  “She’s just as confused as we are about all this…And she was being brainwashed to do it.”  Still she looked to the auri girl with a slight hesitation.  “You’re free now, right?”

Ana nodded, and the older woman moved closer to embrace her.  “Alright…so another connection, albeit tenuous.  But even then, you shouldn’t be here with us.  But you have to be the key to this; what else are you not telling us, Ana?”

Stormy took a deep, calming breath.  “Why is she the key?”

The Commander motioned with a nod of her head to the tree in the center of the cavern.  “I don’t recognize that, do you?  She did; it’s tied to her.  There is something that binds all three of us together, and it’s obviously not just our names or histories.  This third Jessica had a connection to us through ‘Bloodvine,’ what else could there be I wonder?  Anafenza has to be the key to this.”  She ran her hands softly through the auri’s hair, comforting and soothing.  “And I think, if we can begin to understand how we all fit together, we can understand how to leave this place before we die here together.”

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