He Is Literally Driving The Best Team In The World Into The Fucking Ground

PLS this is assault I’m screaming 😭💀💀

Twinsies 👂

Okay my ass passed tf out post game. But I just woke up again and can’t NOT put my lukewarm takes on the Internet.

USWNT v SWEDEN

Alyssa - did what she could? I’m sure she expected plenty of shots on goal because Sweden has proven to always be a solid opponent but I don’t think she was ready to be called upon all game. But there wasn’t a time where I was like ‘dang, maybe if Alyssa was a better keeper, we wouldn’t be down’. She was fine.

Becky - I find her hard pressed to say anyone did well, but all things considered, Becky was okay. She was carrying the ball forward more than usual, seemingly holding onto it a bit too long sometimes. But no one was really open for her, so what tf was she supposed to do.

Crystal - thank sweet baby Jesus for her recovery runs and slide tackles. I would not like to know what a score line would be without them. She unfortunately was super overloaded which caused a lot of uncharacteristic giveaway passes in dangerous spots. To her credit, she showed a lot of creativity breaking out of the three players that seemed to close in on her. But our midfield and forwards really hung her out to dry not offering outlets for her to pass to.

Abby - this was a tough game for Abby. She was getting caught on the outside shoulder instead of covering inside and allowed the center backs to be split on numerous occasions. She did have a few of her typical nice diagonal long balls. But really seemed frantic and was beat to the ball in the box on the goals.

Kelley - in the same camp as Becky. Of nothing detrimental. But nothing incredible. She wasn’t given the same amount of pressure as Crystal which made things better. But her passes could have been cleaner, crosses could have been more direct.

Tierna - things were pretty dismal by the time she came in. She did decent for the time left though. Not sure it would have helped anything but her height definitely could have beneficial to us as a center back earlier in the game.

Lindsey - not her day as the 6. She managed it well through the summer series and send off games, but Sweden is so different than the teams they played. She got lost. She was so needed to be Crystals outlet and to be that person that helped move the ball from side to side to break Sweden down. She was almost timid, it was weird. She started doing a bit better when she was back in her normal position. But the team was already back on their heels at that point so it didn’t help.

Rose - well god dammit. Rose was out there trying! It wasn’t working, but you could tell that she was not having it and was trying to make something happen. She was key in the passing combos the US managed to string together. Most glimmers of good came with her involvement. She still fell victim to holding the ball too long and passing directly to Sweden but I did appreciate her effort!

Sam - oh goodness, poor Sammy Bananas. This was not her game. She seemed like she was hiding behind Swedish players. She wasn’t open for anyone to pass to. And when she had the ball, more often than not, she was passing it to Sweden. It was hard to watch after she’s been playing so well. I will give a small positive that on a couple plays, she found her stride and did what she does best, driving the ball up centrally, pulling defenders, and passing out wide for a cross in. She needed off at half though, glad Vlatko pulled her.

Julie - well shit balls I really wish she was 100%. Her being in wasn’t a game changer. I mean, duh they still scored twice in the second half. But there were moments I was like, oh yeah. That’s what it’s like to have Julie Ertz playing the 6. That’s nice. She is far from full game fit though, and you could tell she’s nervous going 150% into hard tackles. And with being out for all the buildup games, her chemistry with everyone is a little off.

Kristie - she wasn’t in long. But she’s was running her butt off. Like Tierna, it’s not like she could do much to help. She didn’t do anything to hurt though. Her energy was good to see, who knows if her coming in earlier could have sparked something. (Probably not but it’s fun to dream)

Alex - welp. She was in there. Few decent runs into the box. Was there for the header off Christen’s beautiful first half cross. But very lost, not connecting, I had no issue with. Vlatko pulling her at half for Carli.

Tobin - after the excitement of her return in the Mexico games, it sucked to see her like this. To her credit, she was all over the damn pitch trying to make things happen. But in doing so, was out of position which didn’t make switching the field easier. Sweden had to time for her foot skills and just bodied her off of things. She had some of our most promising offensive plays though. And history has proven that pissing Tobin off means she is going to pop off. Waiting for that!

Christen - the goal post is not her friend. So rude. She also gave us some of our closest goal opportunities. But dang. She needed to be helping Crystal on defense big time. And she needed to provide a better outlet pass and not just the option of a ball over the top. I honestly forgot she was out there sometimes which was uncharacteristic.

Carli - I was actually happy to see her come in. But she couldn’t break the funk the team was in. I’m sure a game like this will make her work harder, so maybe that’s good. I don’t know.

Pinoe - came in with a little spark. She was a positive sub. But we were such a mess at that point it didn’t do much. I wish she was full ninety fit, we needed her chaos.

All in all. We all watched the mess. We know. They were outplayed. Sweden is fucking GOOD. We just played them, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, it shouldn’t have been. Maybe it’s the Sweden Olympic curse. Maybe it’s because the USWNT has been go go go all year and has run themselves a little ragged with the camps and friendlies along with NWSL. Doesn’t matter. They knew the Olympics were coming. They weren’t good enough and I hope they turn it around.

Hopefully next game we can remember what jerseys we’re wearing so we can pass to the right team and everyone gets a good night sleep so we can LOOK ALIVE OUT THERE.

AU where Kate and Erica had one, semi-anonymous, great night in college that’s nothing but a vague memory until, years later, Lena and Astrid have a chance run-in at a charity gala and start to realize why every relationship since has never seemed to work out

😄😄

Supercorp bodyswap where Kara is immediately miserable because of how many back issues Lena has from sitting at a computer all day

They’re all standing in a very restricted, very awkward section of the DEO lab, sealed for all intents and purposes from outside view. Alex has a clipboard in hand, her pen hovering, like she can’t quite decide what to record.

“Lena,” Lena whines out loud, very obviously not to herself. She bounces on her feet. “Do you know how many blisters you have? It’s so uncomfortable in these shoes!”

“I mean, yes, Kara,” Kara responds in a clip, looking extremely stiff in her Supergirl regalia. Even her voice seems lower, aloof, and trained. “You’re in my body.”

Alex lifts her eyebrows, an expression she’s clearly made at least a dozen times since entering this room, and she makes a few notes.

“I’m so tired. My eyes are burning.”

Kara scoffs. “Please, it is not that bad. I’m starving, and I just ate. I feel like a bottomless black hole.”

“You’re not wrong,” Alex mutters to herself.

“You’re starving? I’m starving. Kale salads are not enough, I told you!”

Kara scoffs, but Lena continues, rubbing a hand to the small of her back.

“And my back is killing me.”

Her hands run around her own waist, and up. As if feeling, testing for other injuries. But they keep going up. And up. Kara stares at her intently as Lena lightly cups her own breasts, not thinking. Kara’s mouth falls slightly open.

“Do you not wear enough support?”

"Excuse me!” Kara yelps, high-pitched. “I--I wear enough support! You’re not--you’re not even wearing a bra! Under this!”

She motions to the super suit, blushing furiously.

Kara’s hands roam to slightly under her pencil skirt, lifting delicating to look.

“Is this a thong? I hate it!”

“You wear men’s boxers!”

“Hm,” Alex makes a note on her clipboard.

“DO NOT PUT THAT IN THE REPORT!” they both yell in tandem.

It's everybody's fault and nobody's fault. If we want to look at this tournament from a objective and rational point of view, we probably should say that this team arrived unprepared, those players didn't just forget how to be the fucking best in the world in 2 years, they just hadn't been prepared to face the development many teams actually had. They knew USWNT, USWNT didn't know them. Many players surely underperformed, in particular in my opinion Megan Rapinoe, Abby Dahlkemper, Sam Mewis and today Rose Lavelle too, while others I think didn't even have the chance to find a continuity. Tobin Heath never played winger or any kind of attacking role, she wasn't perfect but she was everywhere trying to cover all the holes on the field. And you can't sacrifice Tobin Heath as a damned martyr like this after an injury. Christen Press should have been THE leader of the offense line and she almost never played 90 minutes, and never with the same people. Alex Morgan paradoxically almost played better for Orlando Pride, with more runs and more movement, she just waited there. But just like Press she didn't even have consistency. Carli Lloyd was just at the finish line.

I don't understand the tactics. I tried to. I tried to imagine some greater plan, I thought they could find themselves again soon enough to turn this tournament around but they couldn't. And they couldn't also because sadly Vlatko didn't know how to manage this group. The way he changed every single line-up (I know turn-over is vital when you play every 2/3 days but you also need stability), they way he handled substitutions, changing all together the forwards and never giving a chance to create something stable with Tobin & Christen on the wings and Carli/Alex in the middle was absolutely absurd to me. He brought Macario, he could have used her as a wild card, she could have helped the midfield having more depth and freeing Tobin but he never considered the option. It was too wrong.

And beyond everything, it's absolutely not a ONE player's fault. Not Tierna's, certainly not AD's, not Rapinoe's and not Tobin's (definitely not Tobin's), they won together, they lost together.

But after all of this, the thing I can't get over is that THIS TEAM deserved better and despite everything, I'm still damn proud of them. The USWNT taught me a LOT, they showed me another way to love and live football, they showed me how football could actually be a mean and not only an end, they forged women's football more and better than anyone else and I can't stand seeing how all the world was just waiting for them to fall.

Many times I don't agree with Carli Lloyd, I don't share her opinions and I don't like her thoughts. But seeing her today sprinting by herself after the game and sobbing after the end was just heartbreaking because it was like seeing a pillar falling down. Seeing Rapinoe crying and maybe realizing that her and Carli's time is over was unbearable. Seeing Lindsey seeking comfort in Tobin and Christen's arms was just terrible.

USWNT has a new era in front of them, an era that needs to begin with new forces and still some veterans, but an era of change inevitably. But I want this team to be remembered just like the 99ers because what they did for women's football is just as much remarkable and groundbreaking.

Personally I have to admit that I just hope Tobin Heath will play at least for another World Cup, I believe she has it in her but I don't know if she wants to. She isn't scared of retirement but I am. She meant too much.

And in the end, I'm not even American but this team is one of the things I feel most close to me in my life. So today we face the loss, tomorrow we go after the bronze medal and the day after that we start again and we work to show the world who the fucking champions are.

ONCE AGAIN LADIES AND GENTLEMEN KATIE MCGRATH IS THE TOP FEMALE TUMBLR CELEBRITY LETS HEAR IT FOR THE QUEEN

i. happy.

"Are you happy?"

It's the first time somebody has asked her that ever since that day in the lake, before Lena's life was turned upside down.

Lex fixes the straps of her helmet, a finger booping her on the nose, her teeth chattering a bit in the cold morning air but she's grinning so wide at her brother and that's all the answer he needs.

"Hell yeah!" She yells with all her six-year old might, throwing herself into her brother's arms. Chuckling as he gathers her in his arms.

She hears the sound of horses blustering and trotting about, getting closer and closer. Excitement courses through her veins. The first time she arrived in the Luthor estate, Lex took her on a tour and all she ever wanted to do after that was wander the stables and talk to the horses. He promised her he'd take her riding once she was big enough to reach his waist.

That day has finally, blessedly come.

She woke up with Lex at the edge of her bed, holding a purple helmet, a glittering bow on top of it. His quiet 'Happy Birthday, Lena' getting drowned by high-pitched excited squeals.

Lex carries her across the field, his footsteps sloshing on the muddy ground. He settles her on the saddle gently, before hoisting himself up as well.

Happy, Lena thinks, is what it's like riding across the estate for the first time; Lex pressed behind her, his hands guiding Lena on the reins.

With him, Lena always knows just where to go.

******

“Are you happy?” Andrea breathes, her words almost getting lost in the strong Atlantic winds. Her arms wrapped around Lena’s waist, the glittering water below them threatening to overwhelm her with its vastness.

They were standing on the edge atop the deck of the ship. What better way to celebrate graduating senior high than jumping into your family’s ship and tracing the Titanic’s route?

“Yeah,” Lena murmurs, head tilting to the side, pressing her temple to Andrea’s jaw. “So very happy.”

Happy, she thinks, is the warmth pressing across her back, anchoring her amidst the overwhelming vastness of the unknown.

With her, Lena knows exactly just where she’s headed.

******

“Are you happy?”

This time, the words are staticky and far-away. Jack is in a different city, sleeping on a different bed.

And Lena is here, in this empty National City apartment, isolated and so far above the bustling neon life.

Is she happy?

What is happiness anyway?

She thought she knew.

“No,” Lena whispers into the dark, “I’m not.”

Jack sighs on the other end of the line. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, but…” he trails off, sighs deeply again, “you know you can always come back to me.”

“Jack-”

“Or, I can come to you.”

For the first time in her life, Lena doesn’t know where she’s going, where she’s going to end up. She can drop dead tomorrow on her way to L-Corp for all she knows, murdered in a parking lot, courtesy of Lex.

One thing she’s certain of though is that she will never go back—she cannot go back.

“I’ll be fine,” she says, “I’ll be fine, Jack. I promise.”

She’ll be fine, she just doesn’t know about happy though.

******

"Are you happy?"

She never knew those words can be spat out in such a vile manner. But well, she should've known better than visiting Lillian Luthor.

It was rhetorical, she knows.

She wanted to say, yes.

Yes, I'm very happy that you landed in this shithole never to come out. I'm very happy because the world is a better place for it.

But the tears streaming down her face as she gets into her car says otherwise.

******

"Are you happy?"

The question was one she expected. It was her 6th month into therapy, and well, she already knew this was coming. She always asks her this 17 minutes before the session ends.

"Very much so," Lena answers; brief and truthful.

"That's good," her therapist says, she looks up from her clipboard, eyes softening at Lena.

Maybe, it's because she's been slowly but surely pouring out her soul in the span of 26 consecutive Thursdays, that she finds herself speaking, "I'm happy. I- I never thought happiness could be like this."

Lena breathes in deep, swallows, wrings her hands together.

"B-but I'm learning. I- I deserve this. I deserve to be happy. My happiness is mine, and mine alone. I worked on it. Hard. And I- it-" she stutters, breathes again.

"It still isn't perfect you know? Some days it hurts," she says, her therapist nods at her solemnly, "a lot. It hurts a lot. I hurt a lot. But it doesn't mean I deserve to hurt."

Her voice comes out stronger this time, "I choose to be happy, because I deserve to be happy. It took me a long time to see that."

"But now?"

"But now, I know better."

******

"I'm happy."

"Oh yeah?" Kara says, smug. She's propped up on one elbow facing Lena. Her fingers running up and down pale skin. "Mm, you know, I guess I'd be happy too, after those three orgasms."

Lena gasps, smacks her on the arm. "That wasn't what I meant, and you know it. You're insufferable."

Kara just laughs, grabs her hand from swatting her again, and brings it to her lips—kisses the inside of her wrist softly.

"M'sorry. Sorry. What did you mean?"

Lena's heart calms, and warmth blooms from that one point of contact.

"I'm happy," Lena repeats, and for some reason there are tears in the corner of her eyes.

"So happy with you. We've come so far," Lena whispers, shuffling closer to Kara. The sheets rustling, till her skin touches skin, their faces a breadth apart.

"We did," Kara murmurs back, words tracing her lips, "I'm so proud of us."

"Me, too."

And this, Lena thinks, is what happy is supposed to feel like—home.

And this, Lena thinks, is where she was meant to end up in all along.