Oh My 🥹

You deserve a calm love with someone who's good for your mental health and nervous system. Someone who brings out your soft side – not your survival side.

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all i want is an azzi cruise dump and instead i get more blondie, some hot sauce, and a reptile.

I’ve been thinking about The Half Of It all weekend (the trailer of which just started randomly playing when I logged into Netflix on Friday and I was curious enough to give it a shot and have no regrets) and when I was gushing to my brother about it earlier, I realized why I love it so much:

See, setting up the whole “nerdy girl helps jock boy get popular girl” cliche and then throwing in the twist that “nerdy girl loves popular girl too” is fantastic, every part of the queer storyline was beautiful, the opening monologue and how it was a direct parallel to the water scene, the painting metaphors, the jean jacket, the cliche religious hick small-town that could have been mine, the fact that they literally showed a mountain and prompted me to spend a whole day making a Landslide AMV (cough), the secret looks they give each other throughout the movie, that final kiss and the promise of something more in the future, all wonderful, beautiful, NEEDED…

But none of that compares to the amazing love story that happened between Paul and Ellie. These two going from being rivals to being tentative friends to having a genuine love for each other that confuses Paul because he’s a teenager in a small-town and, let’s face it, he probably only learned “you either feel a casual friendship with this person or you feel horny af” because that’s the binary they teach in these small town high schools, so it makes sense that he looks all sorts of confused when he realizes how much he likes her, and you can tell that he’s still confused, even as he goes to kiss her, then she immediately pushes him away which adds to even more confusion, then he realizes that she’s queer, which goes against every bit of small-town-religious-hick lesson that he had ever learned. So, he lashes out at her and he runs away and I do wish he had been supportive all along but then we wouldn’t get the scene in the kitchen so it was honestly worth it because…

The scene in the kitchen. When Ellie’s father is reminiscing about his own familial love towards his daughter and he asks, “Have you ever loved someone so much you don’t want anything about her to change?” and you just see Paul’s reaction, just look at this:

That is someone who just realized what platonic love is!

Not only that, he realized that his platonic love for Ellie is so strong that he is willing to accept her, no matter what, and help her, no matter what, and love her, no matter what. Not a romantic love, not a familial love, but a pure, genuine, deep, platonic love between a boy and a girl! WHAT A CONCEPT!

Then, of course, he stands up for her, literally, in church. He does so without outing her and, just a note, he never outs her to her father, even when her father begs him to say why Ellie is so upset, Paul never outs her and I know, I know, people shouldn’t usually get props for not being jerks, but seeing as how every other guy in that school is that stereotypical hick/jock, the fact that he’s able to subconsciously keep her secret shows how deep his love is, even when he doesn’t even realize it.

Then, of course, you have him crying on the platform and chasing the train to show her how much he loves her, to make her laugh and cry and whisper, “Moron!” and you know that, whatever the future holds for Ellie and Aster, that’s nothing compared to the love and support that Ellie will always get from Paul and that’s nothing compared to the love and support I have for this movie, it’s so good, you need to watch it…

I'm watching Project Runway, and I'm having visions of Kara being one of the top designers, who keeps winning challenges for the sole purpose of being able to choose her model for the next challenge. She repeatedly chooses the same model, over and over. That model being Lena.

It's no secret-- in the interstitial interviews Kara blatantly declares that there's no way she's going to let anyone else choose Lena.

Lena is a competition staple, appearing across multiple seasons, and having the highest ratio of top looks across designers. Like, it becomes a running joke that whoever gets Lena as a model is practically guaranteed a top look, and if you end up on the bottom with Lena as your model you fucking DESERVE to be there, because you already had a leg up and you freaking blew it.

So the first time Kara gets Lena as her model, she knows she has to bring her best work. And she does. Again and again, for the express purpose of being able to choose her model for the next challenge. And the one time she slips and ends up as a top look but not the winner, Lena is selected by someone else. During that challenge apart, the b-roll footage catches Kara being distracted by and staring at Lena as she works with a different designer. But Kara still manages to pull it out and when she wins the challenge she leans forward and catches Lena eye with a wink. "I'll see you next time."

They lowkey become a hot topic of fan reaction, like are they or aren't they??? No one even knows if either of them are queer, but after Kara wins the competition she gets super big in the industry and her pieces are seen everywhere, but she and Lena are still seen out and about totether, making people wonder if they're friends or something more. Kara goes to all of Lena's shows to see her walk, and they often collaborate, so a lot of times Lena walks for Kara's collections. But everyone keeps wondering, until the day Kara wins some prestigious fashion honor and thanks her wife Lena in her speech.

Then the entire fashion world explodes in excitement.

I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

In honour of Cody’s recent comment. U right Legend.

a comic about meeting your younger self :)

Thank you for reading :)