Latest Posts by stuffeddeer - Page 5
WAHHH DEER THANK YOU FOR DOING MY REQUEST😭😭😭 it was soso good
i hope you got all your files back!!
-🩵
glad you liked it 🩵anon!! i did finally get all my files back it was horrible 😭 love u mwah
hello deery, back like i promised lmao
as much as i love silly goofy buddy dazai, deluded possessive and lowkey scary dazai is my fav 🙏 he's such a silly guy with reader, then turns right around and destroys their entire life. then hes like :O omg thats so horrible, so what im hearing is you have more time to spend with me? seeing as all your friends left for reasons unknown, your family wont even look at you. but dw, i'll never leave :)
BWHAHA im not good at this stuff, but your characterization of dazai is my fav in general, such versatility, we love to see it
have a great day :D
-🩵 anon
HES MY least FAVE TOO ugh 🩵anon you get me
“I’m sorry, lovely. That’s so horrible…” Dazai’s knuckles softly rub against your jaw, his skin soothing you as you try to halt your tears.
“It just— ” you hiccup, “ —just feels like everyone’s leaving me!”
The brunet pulls you closer, practically sitting in his lap as his hands move around your torso. “Shh, shh…” He gently wipes away your remaining tears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
You let out an embarrassed chuckle before nodding. “You’re the only one. Not even my boss wanted me around, I can tell. It’s like she was waiting for me to mess up so she could fire me.”
“That’s not true…”
“How would you know?” The words were genuine, like you were looking for him to explain that it was the work of fate or your shitty coworker you always complained about.
Well, it's because Dazai was the one to get you fired. Your boss was too fond of you, something he simply couldn't have. Plus, work hours always took up your time, time that should be spent with him. Honestly, you didn't need a job, anyway: Dazai would be happy to provide for you and make you dependent on him.
Instead of explaining any of this, he pressed another kiss to your head before pulling you in for a tight hug. “You’re a hard worker. And you’re a wonderful person. If none of your friends want to be in your life, well, I do. So I guess you’ll just have to spend time with me.”
It’s his attempt at lightening the mood, you’re sure of it. A chuckle passes your lips before you can stop it, shifting in his hold so you can hug him back just as tightly. “You’re all I have, so now you’re stuck with me.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
oh he’s the worst i need him
he’ll cradle you so sweetly, telling you alllll the good things about yourself!!!
n when you get all confident and hey! maybe you are good enough, maybe you should look into making new friends! ones that won’t leave you so easily 🙄
well,
he’s there to remind you just how heartbroken your last ones left you. your very own flesh and blood cut you out so easily! maybe dazai is the only one who can truly love you for who you are.
he’s not saying it to be mean! he just wants you to know what you’re getting yourself into. he’s always been so smart, too…. well, you guess he’s right.
if you’re a bit more stubborn or masochistic, maybe you don’t gaf!!! put you back in the ring you wanna try again!!!!!
ugh. okay. i mean, dazai did so much for you... y’know, when you lost your job and he insisted let you move in with him, dazai was trying to be a good friend, but... whatever, if you don’t need him anymore than you can just get your own place. oh, you still haven’t found a job? well, since you’re so sure of yourself, you can just get a new one. you can be out by tomorrow, right? you know dazai would’ve liked to go out and make friends during the time he’s been working to keep a roof above the both of your heads and keeping you company after everyone left you. maybe he’s starting to see why they did, since you’re so selfish—
...
you decided not to go out!
that’s probably when he realizes he should begin moving your relationship along a bit quicker. he’ll flirt with you in the exact way he knows you respond to best (whether that's words of affirmation, teasing, physical touch, etc); he'll bring you back pastries and cute trinkets he saw on his way home from work… his courting is a little eerie, bc he also acts like you two are already dating???? "you're staying in my home, of course i assumed we'd be having dinner tonight. i even learned to cook your favorite— " like he 100% just assumes shit but it always works out bc . well, what else were you doing?
this includes sharing a bed btw. he probably started w having you take his and he takes the couch (a true gentleman) and then maybe he gets another bed and makes a guest room for you... but, well, since you both are so close and it's so cold in his apartment, maybe you can just spend one night with him? It Was Not One Night
if you catch on and reciprocate, oh he's over the moon!!!! his love giving him affection? oughhh.. you're staying in his room in his arms and he's just breathing you in, reminding himself you're still there... it'd be actually kinda sweet if he didn't orchestrate this whole thing
if you catch on (or don't lmao) and deny him? .............
desperate times desperate measures or whatever they say
he locks you in his room for mandatory cuddles, will not give you food if you stick to one side of the room and refuse to let him hold you, he starts pulling away and spewing words he knows will hurt you so you feel so alone and unloved only to turn around and love bomb you.... it's horrific tbh
i'm so sorry . just... go along w it for now pls ❤️
also i mentioned that he'd bring up how you don't have a job and he's the one working hard to pay for your expenses but he's just being a brat. he caught you looking at help wanted ads one time and pretty much cried in your lap about how upset he is that you don't feel his care is adequate enough and only stopped when you promised not to get another job
he's gross :( get out of there
i was hoping to post smth today but yesterday my computer deleted every one of my files!!!!! so i've been working on getting them all back 💔 and havent finished anything
sorry stuffeddeerers :( later this week maybe tho
omg I just went through your blog and holy shit completely whipped pathetic head over heels Dazai is feeding my SOUL !! esp pm!Dazai I love him sm it's embarrassing
hehe join the dark side (pathetic dazai) glad you're enjoying :)
i dunno why but your blog is my fav.. (coming from a hardcore nsfw liker) like its really simple but super cute TT and vv comforting…
haha glad you like it!!! ❤️❤️
deer omg omg all this fluff today has me dead on the floor ur trying to kill me i swear 😭😭
i love it sm never stop
-🩵
hehehe glad you enjoy!!! me if writing fluff was a crime
Matching bolo ties with Dazai!! Other couples have matching bracelets or keychains but why not matching mental illnesses 😎
doing this in hcs hope that's fine!!! love u anon
“oh whoa! look at these matching couples bracelets for sale, darling! aren’t they so cute?” “look! that couple has matching necklaces, how sweet!” “oh, i don’t want these matching keychains, just pointing them out to you because it’s cute!”
…
he gifted you yours!
but not in person bc that’s so scary omg
he left it on your kitchen counter one morning before leaving for work
dazai was so excited to see you wearing it the next time you were together!!!
seeing the blue gem wrapped around your neck as you greeted him warmed his heart ❤️
he plays it off like a joke, saying that he thought it’d be funny to match like other couples do bracelets or keychains. he says you don’t have to wear it but please don’t take him seriously!!!
if you take it off dazai will be DEVASTATED. he hides it really well bc he’s him but ouuugh he reads it as you not loving him :( or being embarrassed of him!!! omg you took it off because you actually plan to leave him like everyone else ??? you don’t want people to associate you with him ????? omg
even though it would destroy him, every time he sees you with it on he tells you that you don’t have to and probably teases you for being so whipped for him (even though it’s 100% the other way around)
he takes total pride in matching with you!!!! when kunikida points it out he’s all “oh so you’re jealous? sorry you don’t have a lovely partner to match with!”
atsushi compliments the matching set and he BEAMS!!!! smiles so brightly for the rest of the day and even into the next!
he uses it to tug you closer to him to kiss you!! he knows it gets your heart racing both from the fear and suddenness of it but also bc awww his lips on yours n he smells like comfort and— oh now he’s gone. hm
he’s so commitment issues to me so it’s kinda his way of staking claim over you :)) his hand brushes over it when you talk with someone else he doesn’t trust or he’ll reach over and “polish” it with his bandages or sleeves or his SPIT if that person Will Not Back Off.
i can imagine him starting to keep those soft glasses cleaning fabric squares in his pockets just for the above scenario 😭
he just loves that you match him! starts pointing out matching things other couples have - not to try and drop hints like last time but to mutter that ours is better while all pouty :( now he thinks he Owns “matching accessories w your s/o” someone come get this man shaking my head….
all in all i think he’d be very cute about it! it’s not something he explicitly states or asks for but it makes him very happy :)
imagine one day his breaks on a mission and he’s so distraught and uncomfortable and anxious all day :( he comes home to you after by breaking into your apartment almost holding back tears as he explains what happens :(
you have to hold him close and say it’s okay, you aren’t mad, he’ll be fine…
try offering yours for him to wear while it gets fixed! (he’s a little suspicious… why are you so eager to not wear yours?……) but dazai says you can wrap your wrist in his bandages like a makeshift bracelet just for the time being!! so he still has that claim on you while his gets fixed
but now. how would you look wrapped all up in his bandages? oh you’re so cute!! so his ❤️
maybe you can wear his shirt to match! ooh ooh how about the coat as well! you look like a mini him when you’ve got the white pants on, too!
it’s a slippery slope anon. stay safe out there.
he just wants everyone to know you’re his at first glance! is that too much to ask?
i think user @stuffeddeer likes dazai
giggling kicking my feetsies fluttering my lashes twirling my hair what gave it away
i like to think dazai would be like the textbook definition of cheesy in a relationship. ik it’s a popular hc people have for him to be noncommittal and not a good partner but i honestly think he wouldn’t be as bad at being a partner as some people think (but i do respect the hc’s and the angst is always well written) i just personally think he’s super whipped for his s/o and obsessed to the point everyone else is who now??
HEUIHFSH SAME pathetically smitten dazai is my FAVORITEEE uurrggg .... he’s so pathetic loser........ this is why i love dazai he’s so versatile :) i need him pathetic crying over me and i need him unable to say he loves me at all oooouh ..,
His feet nudged yours under the desks once again. You looked up at him with a curious glance, waiting to see why he needed your attention, but no such answer came. Dazai merely continued to gaze at you, lovesick written all over his face as it started turning red. They're looking at me! ran through his head, almost forgetting that he had nudged you in the first place.
"What are you doing, you moron?" Kunikida spoke angrily, annoyed Dazai was blowing off his work once more.
"Staring at my partner. They're so pretty, don't you think?" His words made you smile, which caused him to melt all over again. "See? See!? Ahh, love... Your smile could light up the whole city of Yokohama. If you weren't already mine, I'd tell you to use your powers for good. But I couldn't live with myself if you had to go away!"
Kunikida's face contorted in confusion. "Go away..? What are you blabbering on about this time?"
"Once the government learns my darling's smile can rejuvenate and revitalize people they'll put them to work!" He pouts. "I'll never get to see them again when they're out saving lives!" He throws his head back dramatically, hand draping over his heart.
While your blond coworker groaned in annoyance—mainly at himself for asking—you merely chuckled. "That's alright. I wouldn't want to be away from you for long, either."
Dazai gasped, standing up suddenly. "You mean it?! Ohhh, how you just warmed my heart!~ My lovely partner wants to stay by my side! Kunikida, trade desks with me!"
"What, no! Why?!"
"I need to sit next to my beloved! If we're apart, I can't get any work done!"
"You can't get any work done, anyway!"
yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner he’d occasionally lend his darling his coat because it’s cute and vv silly…
his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc
in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao
I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg
PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least that’s what he told you. Practically turning blue, you weren’t in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.
You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.
“Dazai…”
“Yes, love?” He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.
You deadpanned, clearly unamused. “Your cold ass hand is not helping.”
His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll take my coat back if you’re gonna be ungrateful,” he stuck his tongue out.
You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. “I’d never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! C’mon, I’ll keep you warm, too.”
“But I’m not cold— “
“I felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You aren’t fooling me.”
ADA!Dazai doesn’t need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?
The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.
Wow…
The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
“You must be getting a cold, hm?” He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.
The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. “You alright, Dazai?”
“Mhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.” He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.
“Wow, you’re so sweet,” you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. “What would I do without you?”
Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. “Do you keep these on hand?” You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he must’ve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.
Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. “That’s nothing you need to worry about, love.”
just thought of the most rom-com scenario ever. reader is the new hire for the ADA and immediately off the bat, dazai is dazai. reader just takes it as the typical sense of humor and just laughs it off, thinking he’s not actually interested considering his many various ventures. eventually the two of them are assigned to missions quite often (with atsushi as a third wheel) and the two get along great in terms of humor, personality, work in the field… it boggles atsushi’s mind that the two of them aren’t at least going on ONE date. one night dazai tells him in a drunken stupor over the phone he has feelings for y/n but doesn’t want to ruin what they have. y/n ends up telling atsushi they don’t know what to do if they keep getting missions with dazai because one of these days they may slip up due to him just BEING there. he ends up confiding in both yosano and kunikida about it when the two are out of the office and they both just go “y/n and HIM??? anyone deserves better than THAT” but yosano means it in a more teasing way and kunikida means it in a serious way because. kunikida. thus begins a quest for atsushi; to bring the two together, and it drives him NUTS because the two both don’t think the other likes them. dazai assumes y/n would rather have interest in any other guy and y/n assumes dazai would rather have interest in any other person. this ends up with many funny scenarios such as:
1. atsushi leaving a note on dazai’s desk that reads “i want to talk to you in the hallway at __ time today.” and leaving an identical one on y/n’s desk so they can cross paths outside of working together and possibly start a convo and go somewhere. it backfired and the two just say “weird coincidence. everyone must’ve got this!” and wave bye
2. atsushi trying to subtly tell dazai y/ns favorite flower and he just says “oh, that’s great! are you getting them a birthday present early or something”
3. even kunikida being forced into trying to help by asking dazai if he is interested in hanging out with him and y/n (so he can pretend to end up being sick and it would just be dazai and y/n) and dazai saying “oh, is this some sort of elaborate scheme you’re planning on order to have a date with y/n and so it won’t be awkward with just the two of you? i’ll pretend to be sick when it happens for you!” LIKE GOD DAMM DAZAI STOP BEING INSECURE ITS YOU BOY?!
basically stuff like that goes on so much to the point where when the ADA is out celebrating a successful year of missions at a karaoke bar atsushi just yells out over the mic: “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH THIRD WHEELING HERE!!!!! Y/N AND DAZAI YOU BOTH likeeachother-“ and they’re just. WHAT
(SORRY FOR ALL THE TEXT LMFAO)
anon you literally wrote this for me idek what to say you’re so cool
Atsushi’s eyes widened. “What?! I can’t go on this mission, I have, um… an appointment.” Nailed it. “Dazai can take my place! He’s not doing anything right now.” Normally, Kunikida would have pointed out this obvious lie, but he remained quiet - pretty much everyone in the agency knew what he was up to.
Dazai actually was doing something for the first time in a while, but surely this mission was much more important. The brunet took off with you, headed out on an actually very unimportant mission you definitely could’ve taken care of on your own while Atsushi planned.
The tiger boy was quick to tell you and Dazai upon your return about tonight’s important karaoke celebration! And when you tried to weasel your way out of it, Yosano had practically dragged you down to the place. You were ushered next to Dazai as Atsushi and Yosano chose songs for everyone to sing. They said it was to make sure Dazai didn't pick something depressing or you would try to bail out again - this way, everyone had to go. But also... this way, you and Dazai would be stuck singing a romantic duet.
Of course, the two of you took it horribly wrong (in Atsushi's opinion), you both fully committing to the "joke song" Atsushi selected, wholly pretending in the moment. He'd wanted some romantic moment where you two realized you were destined to be together, but you both are just so stupid—
Atsushi had been up next, and was gripping the microphone tightly. He wasn't one to let his anger take over, but this was just getting ridiculous. As the opening notes played to the song he chose, he shouted out your deepest secret, and Dazai's as well.
You both like each other.
With slack jaws and wide eyes, every agency member stared at Atsushi in shock. He'd turned pink as he realized his mistake, muttering apologies as he placed the mic back down. Tense silence filled the air, the only sound being the scraping of Ranpo's spoon along the ceramic ice cream dish he'd ordered.
After a moment, Yosano started clapping. "Someone had to say it, and we all knew they wouldn't."
The rest of karaoke was horribly awkward for you and Dazai. You'd moved ever so slightly away from each other, completely embarrassed. What if Atsushi had just made up that Dazai likes you back? What if Atsushi had just made up that you like Dazai back? All either of you knew is that he had yelled out your biggest secret, and neither of you were too excited to sing anymore.
The lights had been turned on and everyone was gathering their things. It had been a fun night out, all things considered. Yosano got completely hammered and Ranpo couldn't direct his way home if his life were at stake, so Kunikida and Atsushi led the both of them back to their homes (with Kyouka right on Atsushi's tail). The Tanizaki siblings had left a bit before everyone for whatever their reasons were, so just you and Dazai were left standing outside the karaoke bar, awkwardly gazing out at the quiet city.
"So... tonight was different, huh?" You spoke anxiously, picking at a loose thread on your top.
"I didn't expect Ranpo to be that good a singer," Dazai replies with a polite smile.
You sighed. The last thing you wanted was for things to turn awkward between the two of you. "Listen, Dazai— "
"Do you want to walk home with me?" He cut you off.
You smiled softly, letting out a small chuckle. "Of course."
Your blog is so silly :3 I LOVE IT
uehehehe THANK YOU :3 i strive to be Sillier.
rock band member dazai where he’s often in the media for drama between him and his previous ex band partner and you happen to run into him (anonymously!) on a chatting app. eventually his “personal conflicts “ he tells you about him and a ex friend start to align a lot with a certain famous singer’s tabloid scandals, so you bite the bullet and ask if it’s him or if he is just going through the same exact specific events dazai is. he ends up revealing his identity and you end up getting backstage tickets to his shows and he ends up just as obsessed with you as you are (chuuya is pissed that somehow that shitty dazai got a partner before him)
its u.
Dazai’s heart rate picked up at the two grammatically incorrect words that popped up in his notifications. You’d been so close to figuring it out for weeks; Was today finally the day?
wdym
Right: play dumb. There’s no guarantee you figured out who he is, so he just needs to stay calm.
Sure, week after week he’d tell you stories from his life that popped up in magazines and circulated around online the next day or so, always causing you to come back and flaunt it in his face that your favorite guitarist had done it “bigger and better” (even though the stories were the exact same). You frequently pointed out similarities in them (being him and… himself) to the point where he almost saved and told you several times, but something always held him back. Maybe he should just finally rip the bandage off.
A photo message came in. It was a screenshot - a screenshot of a picture Dazai had sent you. In the background had a bright red circle around something small. He zoomed in, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Couldn’t you just type it out? What a hassle - oh.
Yeah, he should’ve listened when his manager told him to pick it up and display it properly.
The image was a bird’s eye view of his hand, flashing his fresh coat of nail polish and his rather messy wooden floors (and his cute orange halloween socks). Nothing too damning upon first glance. Sure, you’d mentioned that your favorite band’s guitarist had painted his nails the same color, but that was mere coincidence, right?
No. Because this lazy moron couldn’t put things away, in the top left corner of the photo - the area circled in red - showed an opened package with the platinum record his band was gifted for their most popular song. Why would he have that if not a member of the band himself?
He looked up from his phone blankly, staring at the package still nestled on the side of his room. The only difference from the photo is that it had been pushed slightly to the side since then, stopping him from tripping over it. What a stupid mistake; Dazai had always been much more careful than this (except when he wasn't).
dude
u let me gush to u ab URSELF????
im embarrassed
Dazai smiled. Well, at least things weren’t awkward.
It had been a few months and you and Dazai were happy to talk in person now that he didn’t have to hide his face. You’d been backstage at many of his shows, meeting his bandmates and spending time in person. It had honestly been so much fun, but sometimes Dazai missed the cat and mouse game he’d been playing when you were unsure of his identity - back when you texted him rumors and articles about his own life, saying how crazy it was that your favorite artist went through the same things as him.
He’d woken up earlier than he wanted to due to the myriad of calls blowing up his phone. “What..” He grumbled, not even bothering to check caller ID. “Who is this?”
“You asshole! You got a fucking partner before I did? And they’re hot, too! No way they settled for you,” Chuuya continued to grumble while Dazai put him on speaker phone, tuning him out. Whatever he was yapping about didn’t matter once he noticed a notification from you.
do u know this guy? he seems to be goin thru the same things u r…
A link is included, leading Dazai to an article with a picture of him and you. The first thing he notices is how smitten he looks with you, causing him to blush very faintly as he smiles to himself. Is that really what he looks like around you?
Rockstar Dazai Osamu Finds New Fling - Or Maybe More?
More, definitely more.
“Are you listening, asshole?” Chuuya shouted from his speaker. “How’d ya get a partner before me?”
Dazai smiled, saving the paparazzi shot onto his phone. “My height, definitely.”
PM DAZAI ANON THAT WRITING WAS SO SWEET AND GOOD . whipped pathetic hopeless in love dazai is the only dazai tbh!!!! HES A LOSER AND WE SUPPORT HIM
UEHUSHFUSIE IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!! dazai soo pathetic wet cat losercore ,,, urg i hate him
i randomly thought of pm!dazai and ada!reader and……
You shifted uncomfortably on the wooden seat, hands fiddling with the hem of the black tablecloth. Dread isn't strong enough to describe what you felt leading up to this.
"You haven't even looked at the menu, darling," Dazai smirked across from you, a glimmer of amusement in his eye.
Without your usual aggressively crude retort that always had Dazai holding back laughter, you timidly picked up the fancy, leather bound menu - hands now fiddling with the thick string keeping it sewed together rather than the tablecloth. Your gaze was thoughtless, barely registering the exorbitant dishes listed alongside exorbitant wines.
The bandaged man sighed, his frown a clear indication of his annoyance, but kept his mouth shut.
You thought back to the president’s plea with you the day before. He hadn’t expressly told you to play nice with the executive of your rival organization (he wasn’t that kind of man), but the way he asked you to stay calm and remain vigilant told you all you needed to know. Furrowed brows pointed down at the menu allowed Dazai to read your frustration.
The two of you had done nothing more than trade blows on the battlefield — usually to Dazai’s success — and yet he’d appeared at the agency one day to ask for permission to court you. Had he not been your enemy, you would have considered it sweet, dismissing that the bouquet of daisies he brought came stolen from the flowerpots of the café below. He was anxiously fiddling with the white petals, panic in his gaze when he’d accidentally pull one off the flowers. The dangerous demon prodigy of the mafia you’d been warned against time and time again was utterly smitten with you to a pitiful degree.
He seemed to have cleaned up his act since then, smirking confidently at you while leaning back in his chair across the table. Shifting, he moved forward just enough to gently push your menu down, following the action with a soft, “Hey.”
You looked up at him, taking his place as the nervous one between the two. Having succeeded in gaining your attention, Dazai rested his chin on the palms of both hands, continuing to lean in towards you.
“You’re uncomfortable.”
It wasn’t a question, merely an observation, and yet you replied as though it were. “I’m not.”
Still no witty retort. The thought caused Dazai to sigh once more, but his grin remained the same. “If you didn’t want to go on a date, why did you agree?” His tone was nonchalant, a slight shrug punctuating his question as he leans back comfortably once again, but you knew better. His finger running over the rim of his empty wine glass, gaze shifting from you to down at the table for a moment too long…
“You know why,” you choose to reply, not mentioning his nervous demeanor.
Of course Dazai knew why.
“Have you two had enough time to look over the wine menu?” A cute waitress stood at the edge of your table, a polite smile on her face and hands clasped together behind her back professionally.
Silence held still for a moment too long before you decided to speak up. “No, sorry, not quite— “
“We won’t need to.” He quietly folded up the separate wine menu, handing it back to the waitress. Your brief moment of shock quickly turned to disdain as he continued. “The bottle that should have arrived this morning will do. Under Dazai,” He spoke cockily.
This motherfucker had a bottle of wine flown in for this. He asked you out the day before, so how long has he had this planned out?
The waitress politely took the wine menu from him, her eyes lighting up momentarily as she realized who he was. “Ah, Mr. Dazai! We’ll have that out for you shortly. Our owner wanted me to commend you on your great taste. It’s a shame she couldn’t be here in person.”
A dismissive wave of his hand sends the waitress away, leaving to grab whatever bottle he specifically ordered.
“What’s the occasion?” You spoke distastefully, forgetting yourself for a moment. Instead of tripping over your words to save the moment, you just let out a low breath and waited for him to respond.
“Why, it’s to commemorate our first date. Even if you only agreed to appease me, I still want it to be special…” He trailed off, words turning soft before he cleared his throat. “You deserve only the best, darling. I ordered the most expensive wine for us tonight: a 1992 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. The price comes from the vastly small quantities of bottles ever produced. I had the owner track down a bottle and paid her the difference.”
“Oh, how kind,” you spoke awkwardly. “I don’t really drink, though.”
Tense, awkward silence practically stung the two of you. Dazai felt so stupid; the first time he actually likes someone, and he couldn’t even figure out what you like in preparation! Chuuya had guaranteed this bottle would impress you, but you didn’t even like wine.
Dazai stood up abruptly, his face unreadable for a moment.
“But, um, I’m fine trying it! Like you said, it should be special!” You figured your recovery attempt was poor as Dazai spun away from you, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his fancy suit pants.
“Let’s go.”
The waitress watched in shock as the two of you leave the restaurant, clutching the $500,000 bottle of wine in her hands.
You’d been following silently behind Dazai for a few minutes, and with his quick pace, your legs were starting to ache. The fancy shoes you’d donned were killing your heels - you could practically feel the blisters forming. But still, you remained quiet. What would he do now? You pretty much ruined his whole plan, told him you weren’t interested, and made him waste a bottle of wine you didn’t want to begin guessing the price of. It was a 1992 Something Eagle… What was it? You’d definitely ask Yosano when you saw her next at work.
Suddenly, Dazai stops in front of a small curry shop. The place looked cheap when compared to the restaurant you were just in, and the idea of Dazai being well versed in the place felt like a joke. You two were visibly out of place in the joint, something that only hit you as he held open the door, letting you walk inside ahead of him. The place was well kept, but clearly not a restaurant you’d wear a suit and tie to, which is what Dazai was happily flaunting in the original restaurant just a few minutes prior.
“We’ll both take the usual, please,” Dazai speaks to the man behind the counter, who happily smiles and begins dishing out two plates of curry.
Your date pulls out a chair for you at the counter, pushing it in gentlemanly once you sit down before taking the seat next to you. “Thank you” is muttered by the both of you as the bowls of curry are placed in front of you.
The only sound was the clattering of dishes as the attendant cleaned and you and Dazai ate. After a moment, he started whining, tongue sticking out as he complained about how hot it was. The view was… welcoming. It was nice to see Dazai in a state that wasn’t so perfect. You figured all the anxious fiddling you’d been exposed to earlier (and the day prior) was an act, but you were starting to view all of it as genuine. Maybe he really did just want a chance with you.
The soft laughter you let out had Dazai turning to you with hearts in his singular visible eye, cheeks red (from the spicy curry, of course) and breath still. “The infamous Demon Prodigy can’t handle his spice?” You smirked, and for the first time in two days, Dazai relaxed. That was a witty retort, wasn’t it? You were feeling more comfortable.
“Wow,” he spoke breathlessly, completely enamored with you for a moment before clearing his throat. “I mean, wow. I can’t believe you’d make fun of me for not eating spicy foods.”
You chuckled, and Dazai swore he was in heaven. He got you to laugh twice. “Honestly I'd expected someone in your position to stomach the spiciest of foods with crazy-high tolerance,” you rested your chin onto your palm, leaning in towards Dazai.
“Well, I expected you to have terrible spice tolerance, so ha.” His response was bad, but the glimmer of amusement that flickered in your eyes made him not care.
“Hey, thanks for this. I don’t much care for stuffy restaurants like that.” You took a bite, not even flinching as you swallowed the spicy curry.
“I just wished I had the foresight to take you here first.” Another silence settled between the two of you, this one much more comfortable. “And… I’m sorry. I should’ve realized you’d feel forced to accept my invitation. After today, we can go back to only seeing each other in battle.”
“Hm,” you hummed, swallowing the curry you bit into as he started talking. “Honestly, this was still one of the better dates I’ve been on, if not entirely weird. Maybe we could hang out outside of work. As friends, of course.”
“Just friends?” Dazai let out a dramatic gasp, hand over his heart as he nearly fell out of his chair. “But Romeo and Juliet were a romantic pair! How are we to take over their destinies?”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the corner of your lips quirked up in amusement. “Their destinies were to kill themselves.”
“Exactly! And how are we expected to reach that point as just friends?” Dazai whined childishly, an exaggerated pout jutting out his bottom lip.
“Maybe we can revisit the topic in the future.”
ouuugh i have smth Longer than i intended finally finished
okay um HEAR YE HEAR YE w requests i try n do them in order ! so if you sent smth in and havent heard back im working on it ! or im working on smth else but its coming up !!!!! love yall 💪🏻
sorry for asking but are u cool with nsfw stuffs?
idk! ive never written for it so probably not :( feel free to send smth and worst case i just delete the ask lol
hai deer :3 anon who made the aro dazai ask here, thank you for the food 🙏 it was everything i wanted and more 😩
anyway, wanted to wish you well on your essay! i hope school isnt beating your ass too hard, YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS !!!
also i was thinking of an emoji to give myself because i plan on pestering you for the near future ?? maybe 🩵, but anything you give me is fine
YAYYY glad you enjoyed!!! mmmm aro dazai good food
AND THANK YOU!!!!! i just turned it in so i'm back to answer requests :3 school isn't too bad when i have y'all to look forward to 😋 cheesy af my bad
YES you can be 🩵 ! my first emoji anon awooga i feel like a real tumblr writer now 💪🏻
https://www.tumblr.com/stuffeddeer/732889043880329216/i-came-across-your-blog-a-few-days-ago-and-all-i
he calls u bambi for funsies
wait true 😭 if this reader has physical deer features they definitely get a little annoyed thinking he's making fun of them and that makes him wanna say it more often :) depending on the dazai he could definitely be saying it condescendingly bc he's a JERK but i feel like he just says it to make himself smile whether or not you're aware
I'm a new follower of yours that recently went through your entire blog, even though you didn't know this and I'm basically exposing myself, I love your entire blog so much that I actually payed attention to something for more than 5 minutes (simply going through your blog) and didn't get bored🙃. I love all your Dazai posts, even the ones I don't relate to, I find it sweet how you cater to everyone's feelings and headcanons, everyone's adoration for him in every way, its so sweet and beautiful how non judgemental you are, anyway just decided to send a quick ask like this before I go back to liking and lurking 😅
-🥺❤️
OMG 🫣🫣❤️ thank you so much !!! you're so sweet 😭 i'm glad i could help cure your boredom for a little bit :) i will try my best to write a lil smth for everyone 🫡
hai deer how was ur day ?!
hi anon!!!! i enrolled for classes for my final semester today wooo !!!!!!! but i have a big essay due tmr tho that i gotta start LMAO but it's been really good !
thank you for asking anon :) please tell me about your day!!!
dazai probably smells like freshly washed sheets, and detergent, and comfort…
i don’t think he would get any perfumes, cologne yes but he would feel like perfumes aren’t necessary
i love him sm…
you're right anon i feel like he walked into a perfume shop one time got blasted with every smell known to man and immediately left . he does not gaf. also lowkey i imagine he smells like spilled alcohol and canned crab bc thats his morning if he remembers to eat
It has been a long weekend and Dazai was honestly excited to get back to work. As much as he messed around and pawned his work off onto others, being with the agency made him feel good — he liked helping people. Also, he missed you a little bit.
Sniff, sniff... Probably not as much as you missed him.
"You're always so warm... It's like you were taken out of the dryer right before you got here!" Your arms were dangling loosely off his shoulders, head buried into the crook of his neck. "I'm smelling you right now, by the way. Sorry if that's weird."
It is, for sure, but you two were just like that. Dazai stood quietly with a small smile on his face, letting you continue to just bask in his presence for a few minutes. It was far too early in the brunet's opinion — it was still dark out! — and right now he wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up with you on the agency's couch and go back to bed.
"It is weird. Get to work," Kunikida spoke from his desk, already sorting through his reports.
"Kunikida, you're just mad they don't want to smell you. You probably smell like frustration and grossness, where as I smell like flowers and love." Dazai bats his eyelashes teasingly towards his coworker, who mutters angrily but doesn't reply.
"Dazai, you smell like detergent. That's why I always think you just rolled in here from a dryer. It's a very fresh and comforting smell."
"Aha! Comforting; You hear that, Kunikida?"
y!dazai is such a silly little guy… i can imagine reader developing stockholm syndrome after a while (which is sadly some cases for kidnapping :( ) but maybe he had gotten bored…
YOU GET IT (silly guy) i'm on it boss 🫡
“You opened a window.”
Your metal fork clattered against the ceramic plate, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I’m sorry..?” you start, inviting him to elaborate.
“The window in our bedroom,” Dazai gently set his fork down. “It’s open.”
Silence engulfs the tiny dinner table, the food you’d spent all day cooking turning cold.
“Were you planning something?”
“No, Osamu,” your voice comes out stern, but polite: The last thing you wanted was to anger the man across from you. “I would never-“
“But you have, remember?” His eyes narrowed, not a single glimmer of mercy to be found. “Last month around this time. Is this going to be a pattern?”
Dazai hated when you didn’t reply, but you weren’t sure what to say. You hadn’t opened a window, nor were you even sure what he was referring to.
“You know what happens when you lie, right?”
“I’m not lying, Daz- Osamu. I wouldn’t leave you; You protect me.”
A long sigh escaped the brunet’s lips. As cute as you could be, he wouldn’t tolerate this behavior. “I invite you into my home, keep you fed and clothed, and this is the thanks I get? A half-baked plan covered by a less than stellar lie. You’ve done better, doll. I expect better, honestly...” Was he mad at your alleged escape or the poor lying?
“Osamu, you mean so much to me-“
“But not enough, yes? You prefer your stupid friends, all of whom up and left you when you lost your job and couldn’t afford to keep your apartment, yes? Who was there to help you?” His narrowed gaze turned harsher, a full-blown glare pointed your way. “Who?”
“Y-you were, Osamu.”
“I was.” A sip of his drink allowed for you to breathe, a moment of reprieve as his throat was too busy to reprimand you. “And after no job would hire you, I allowed you to stay, under the promise you made me that you wouldn’t leave me like everyone else has.”
“I don’t want to leave you-“
“Did I say I was finished?”
You sat up tall, frozen solid as you quickly shake your head. No, he didn’t.
“I allowed you free lodge in exchange for some simple house chores, and this is the thanks I get? A broken promise and a poorly made lasagna,” he gestures down to the dinner you’d made. It was a new recipe, sure, but you didn’t think it turned out that badly..
“I’m sorry, Osamu,” you whispered, afraid you’d break out into tears if you spoke any louder. Your throat felt dry and your body felt stiff — Honestly, a cracked window might help you to just breathe right now.
“I’ll have to punish you for this behavior, you know.”
It wasn’t a question, so you don’t respond. Dazai continues eating, legs crossed and leaning back. He was unfazed and relaxed, which makes sense — you were the one in danger.
As you stared silently down at your hands, fists anxiously gripping the fabric of your pants, Dazai smirked. Maybe he should leave the windows open more often.
haii deer i hope you are able to get all your assignments done on time! was reading your tags and aro dazai?? big brain.
so how about aro ace darling? never been in a relationship and never really want to, their friends are more than enough for them !! honestly i just wanna be aro buddies with dazai 🥹
but damn just being weirdo coworkers together, im,,, willing to look past many red flags for him 💔
YOURE JUST LIKE ME FR dazai and i are best friends and we are aro you can ask him yourself also weirdo coworkers.. you get it
"Oh, wait, so you were the latest person hired?" Atsushi's head cocked to the side, looking at you with curiosity. "How long have you been here?"
"My dear here has been with the agency for three months! You know, I was the one that brought them on board," Dazai gloated, a smug smirk on his face and a dramatic hand over his heart.
You were quick to play along, throwing a dramatic hand over your forehead as you leaned back. "Oh, my hero! What would I do without my lovely Dazai?" The sarcastic lilt in your tone didn't go unnoticed by the newest agency member, but he decided not to comment on it.
"Was it like what happened with me? Did you find Dazai drowning?" Apparently a common occurrence, Atsushi had pieced together.
Dazai denied, a smile on his face as he replied with a simple, "Nope!" A few moments of silence passed before the junior realized he wasn't going to elaborate.
Just as he opened his mouth to ask for more information, you decided to take pity on the poor soul and fill him in. "I bailed him out of a holding cell."
No one bat an eye. Atsushi looked around the office, trying to see if maybe someone was holding back laughter, but not a single one of his new coworkers were phased. Did they not hear what you said?
"He got detained for public disturbance in the middle of a case. I told Dazai he'd have to find a way to get out on his own, and he shows back up not even thirty minutes later with them in tow," Kunikida explains, frustration evident in his voice. "I was trying to teach him a lesson."
"I was in the area," you shrug.
"Yeah, being detained as well..."
"I was being released from detainment, actually!" You correct Kunikida, a proud grin on your face. "And Dazai said I should follow him, so I did."
Atsushi laughed awkwardly. He knew you seemed similar to Dazai in your hedonistic pursuits, but this was baffling. "And the president hired you?"
"I had an entrance exam, but pretty much! I had just been fired from my old job the day before so Dazai helped me get set up here. And before you ask: I was fired because I told the boss' kid I wouldn't date him. He got all upset and told daddy to can me," you huff in frustration, still annoyed at your wrongful termination.
Kunikida rolled his eyes. "Don't act like some martyr; You also deserved to be fired. You just messed around on the job like you do here. You barely got any work done."
"You want me so badly it makes you look stupid—"
"I told them to sue and say it's discrimination because they're aro," Dazai cut you off, a pout on his lips like he's annoyed you didn't take his advice.
"What's... arrow?" Atsushi cocked his head to the side. He was unaware of the terminology, having never come across it in this context during his studies at the orphanage.
"Oh, it's shorthand for aromantic. It just means, like, experiencing little to no romantic attraction to anyone. It varies, of course..." You try to explain simply.
Atsushi nods, understanding the basic idea. "But it'd be wrong to lie about your sexuality, right?"
"I'm aro, actually," you shrug. Everyone at the agency is well aware, so Atsushi will likely find out eventually.
"Oh!" The younger employee's cheeks turn pink, feeling a little sheepish for assuming. A moment passes as Atsushi thinks before furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you and Dazai..?"
"We're both aromantic," Dazai rests his chin on his hand, elbow on his desk and an amused smirk pulling at his lips. "I've dated a lot in the past, but I realized it's just not for me."
"I've never been in a relationship and never want to," you add in yourself. "Aromanticism is... much more complex than how I explained it. Dazai feels romantic attraction, but doesn't— Is it fine if I tell him this?" You suddenly ask, realizing it really isn't your place to speak on his experience, even as his best friend.
"Oh, I don't care. Saves me the trouble," Dazai waves his hand dismissively. "But yeah, I feel romantic attraction, but lose it when it's reciprocated."
Atsushi nods slowly, beginning to understand. "Oh, okay. So you two are just close friends, then."
"Are we just not going to ask what you were doing in a holding cell when Dazai got thrown in?" Tanizaki asks from his desk.
"I just got too silly, you know how it is."
If you had read Beast, do you have any thoughts on Beast!Dazai? Beastzai is basically Pm!Dazai but he’s actually the boss and his depression is 10 times more severe. Yeah. But he’s cool and well, complex. (as if the original Dazai himself isn’t already complex.)
hfhejuksnc i love beast dazai omg!! i think if main story dazai dated you and was actually happy, beast dazai would be a total dick to try and drive you away. his final plan was to off himself, so he definitely wouldn't want you sad when he goes :( or attached at the hip and left alone like chuuya LMAO
or a yandere version who forces you to stay by him 100 times more because you are HIS!!!!!! even when he throws himself off of a building you need to be thinking of him ! he can't go if he thinks you'll just move on to the next sad guy who gives you attention
or or or a Normal beast dazai who does neither ! he just respects you and slowly builds a relationship (still head over heels for you bc of main story dazai's memories). he'd definitely not want a romantic relationship w you (well. he wants one) but just enjoy being friends :) he'd confide in you, come to hold you when he's sad, flirt with you endlessly because he SUCKS because he's just like that... I definitely think he'd want you around him all the time but wouldn't want to push for more bc he knows whats coming for him :(((
do u think dazai smokes… imagine if he does you’ll get to take away his cig for a second to give him a lil kiss then returns it back to him thats so cute….
smoking is bad very ew pls dont do it tho
i got this hc that dazai does Not smoke . like he has every other vice known to man but ew yucky smoke in his lungs :( i definitely think he'd be childish about it too like if someone's smoking near him he starts coughing horrifically. he's a bastard i hate him
but if he were to smoke!!!! yes this is very cute :3 he'd probably whine as it gets snatched from his mouth but once you put it back he'd still whine because now he wants kisses!!!! there is no winning w him!
i like reading your tags for funsies they are very cute okay dont think otherwise!!
omg okay thank you!!! im always like. these tags are longer than my posts 😭 but i have fun w em :)
I was wondering if how can I address you?? Is there any name/ nickname or we can just refer to you as “deer” ? :)
whatever you want is fine tbh haha i think deer is cute :)